I recently talked about not bing able to DTD because of my husband's anxiety. We were able to get one in before ovulation & several a few days ahead but I think those were too far ahead.
So last night I had a horrible dream he cheated on me & a found out because I had an STD. I don't feel deep down he would ever do this to me. But I have often wondered what made him turn around so fast on the baby idea & be so ALL ON BOARD. A little background, we tried for a while then gave up. After a few years (never using BC but also not trying) I turned 30 & just knew I needed to have children. He was okay with how things were. SO we would talk about it & he would still say no. Well one day I bring it up & he just says yes out of nowhere & he is over the moon involved & excited of the plan. I don't know where it came from. He just says he realized it was something he wants. I think a big part is for me but I can tell there is a genuion excitement. SO I had my dr appt Mon & was upset at the thought of fertility testing. Then husband is ovethinking & so we were not sucessful at BD. So I had a TINY thought maybe he did cheat & his excitement was him making up for it. Believe me when I say tiny I mean microscopic. I think it is just my own insecurities. It would kill him if I asked. But anyways in the dream I got the STD, confronted him, he admitted & said he was leaving me & I broke down & begged him not to. I was screaming & everything. I am normally a strong woman & often believed I could never get over infidelity. The whole thing made me wake up in a horrible mood. I think it is the fact that we couldn't yesterday on my first peak day. Maybe I feel he is cheated me out of this cycle. On the other hand, we decided to try 6 months then test. So after the appt & finding out it wasn't that expensive I thought maybe we should just do it. So maybe I was feeling I was cheating myself by not testing. I don't know.
Either way I am in a weird mood today & got another peak on the CB but I just am not feeling it AT ALL.
Thoughts are appreciated & thanks for the vent. It feels good. And yes I know I should just talk with him about my feelings & the dream. He is on 3rd shift, so we literally have about 30 min together before he goes in until he gets his days off. Not the type of thing I want to do on the phone or in that short window.
I hope its just a dream and nothing like that in real. TTC can get to you! emotionally and physically. Just like women start thinking that they initiate sex and their husbands dont. Its cuz we want it so bad we would do anything to make sure we have a good chance every month. Alot of ladies tell their husbands they are ovulating and this is what has to be done. Rarely a man participates on his own (even if he wants a baby very bad). Its the women who has to go through all the pain of testing, temping, googling. This journey is 100 times harder for us than the men. Im happy hes on board with you on having a baby and i hope its not cause he is guilty but cause now he wants to be a dad.
If this dream is really bothering you, you should just talk to him about the dream not about the doubts you have. If hes guilty which is a big IF and i hope hes not he might open up after hearing it. And yes you need the right time to talk to him about it when you are not in a rush. Its better to clear your doubts than being in a miserable mood. GL

but better to just talk about the dream and tell him you got scared cuz the thought of him cheating on you is so hurtful and you just wanted to discuss to feel better.