Started Fertility Testing..Need buddies...

[KatO79]

Gonna sit the hubby down tomorrow at dinner. Thinking we will do one round and if nothing, stick with clomid and bdding. Im not sure whats eating him. He seems quiet, nervous, anxious, weird
Hes like that though. I'll get it outta him tomorrow and make sure we are on the same page. Pulling the numbers and so far outta pocket is cheapest ....is that crazy? We are both going through some job stuff. He hates his job and has terrible insurance after his first company went bankrupt after 27 years. And me ugh. Things are changing and I might need to move on after 18 years......this was a perfect month for me. O on target, temps good, but my progesterone dropped and I can only expect AF shortly now. 14 months TTC approaching.....

I know it's a question of money in the US but just because an IUI doesn't work the first time, doesn't mean it'll never work. I know the chances are slightly higher for the 1st time but many women also get pregnant on IUI #2 or #3, some even during IUI #4-#6. Of course I think injectables give a slightly higher chance of the IUI being a success as well which is why my clinic pretty much insisted on it.

I hope you and your DH get on the same page and you find out what's bugging him.

I know what you mean, We've been TTC for 16 months ourselves, so frustrating I hope it soon happens for all of us

 

[patienceiav]

Aww I hope you find out what's up, mine doesn't even react when I talk about ttc, or the chemicals, maybe he's just being a man thing mine sympathises but has no empathy for the situation, it doesn't bother him enough sadly

 

[heychrissie]

Mines the same, doesn't seem to have much empathy for the situation...I think it bothers him in his own way, though. I've noticed he's particularly short tempered every time we get bad news regarding ttc, so I think some men just don't know how to react...
And an update in regards to my appointments; apparently there had been a mess up at the doctor's, the doctor that cancelled my appointment had thought it was for something else (I clearly stated what the appointment was for...) and I am just feeling generally messed about by them. My actual GP had made out initially that this would be a quick thing; I was under the impression (naïvely, I guess) that I'd have one blood test, if no ovulation then I'd be given something that would get it going! I then found out I needed another one, GP saying if I had another anovulatory cycle they'd look at prescribing me Clomid, so I thought 'that sucks, but okay. I can wait another month.' I spoke to a female doctor yesterday, she said that their practice does not prescribe clomid, that would have to be through a referral to a gynocologist, and that she wouldn't do it as she wanted to sort other things first (I have an irregular heartbeat that is being checked out again. Had it checked before and told all was fine.) I was flustered (hate phone calls) so I said okay, bye. I hope that my GP is one of the rare ones that will prescribe clomid, but I am not feeling hopeful and feel like I have been misled. I feel stupid for not insisting I know time frames as it now looks like I am going to have to go through a lengthy referral and more tests that I feel could have been done alongside the blood tests over the last few months 😕
Sorry for the rant. Needed to get it out! I look like a spoilt child! Why are bodies so complicated...?

 

[patienceiav]

Oh blah some places it's easy, others give you the run around. I went through 6 months of tests, I had 3 chemicals in that time, they still didn't give me anything till I got referred to another person it'll be worth it!

 

[cdelmar]

Such horrible stories. Im in the very beginning of testing and I hope I do not have to go through a run around ! to you all!

jbubbles did you mean you are going to do one last "natural" round?

 

[jjbubbles28]

So it winds up he's just a nervous nelly. He gets nervous over everything so I am not surprised. He is fully on board I do understand that the iui can work at any time, but we dont have the money to shell out every month until it finally does (if ever) works. Believe me if money wasnt the issue I would do it every month for a long time already. The stress level (which is not helping the situation) has drastically increased already due to timing of the procedure and insurance. I have bounced from everything is covered to nothing is covered to ultrasounds are only half covered, to iui is only covered by an RE to now you'd have to schedule additional appts prior to the procedure to I'll pay for everything out of pocket, but even thats not easy because they need an official denial letter from the insurance BEFORE I can pay cash. Now schedule this while trying to wait for a positive OPK and then take the morning off of work go there and then commute 3 instead of 2 hours because its passed rush hour. Its just alot that seems really rushed this cycle because as of last week we were 100% covered. All this stress because people dont know how to do their job. Its very frustrating and I think after this month a major break is needed. I will continue clomid and bd regularly.
KAt how are you feeling? TWW almost over

 

[KatO79]

So bad news everyone, AF came today So we're heading for IUI#2. I'll be calling the clinic tomorrow as AF will be full-blown tomorrow. Oh well, didn't have high hopes anyway, partly due to my age. I'm blaming myself for my old eggs and DH is blaming himself for having spilt some of the sample Nothing to be done now other than hope #2 is our lucky number Maybe I'll have 3 eggs instead of the 2 I had as they'll be upping my dose a bit Think it's all chance as I've read of people having 3-4 eggs on one IUI and getting a BFN and then having 1-2 for their next IUI and getting a BFP.

Anyway told my sister and this was her reply: "Just got my period too..ughhh. Sorry...keep trying...." Like what do I care she got AF as well when she has 2 children and isn't trying for #3 Geez my family is really hopeless when it comes to supporting me

 

[jjbubbles28]

Oh Kat Im so sorry. I wish you had more family support.
I think we can second guess everything we do. Bad eggs, wrong timing, drank night before, too much stress,etc. But my true feeling is that it will happen when the time is right. If the time is right it will not matter if the sample is less or we missed a day of sex. And when it does happen, Kat it will be that much sweeter because of all the effort. Sending you positive thoughts and hoping that February brings us a new Valentine in both of our lives.

 

[KatO79]

Thanks jjbubbles28 Think I was hoping my chances were a bit higher with 2 eggs compared to 1 egg. But now I'm thinking it's just dumb luck.

Yes my family stinks when it comes to support I don't know why she just didn't say she was sorry it didn't work and has her FXed for IUI #2 instead of mentioning she has AF now too as their's a difference - her AF is just AF to her while mine signals yet another cycle I'm not pregnant Amazing people are so thoughtless these days Her and my brother are impossible when it comes to support, guess that's one good reason they're so bonded other than just living in the same country

 

[patienceiav]

Aww no Kat i'm sorry about AF the stupid witch ! Do you have something you can pamper yourself with ? I had my nails done this weekend and bought a load of stuff from IKEA

Silly family... they just don't know what to say and don't understand how it feels the best/worst one is when parents are like "are you SURE you want kids/have one of mine lol/it's a lot harder than it looks" etc, not helpful !

JJ i'm pleased hubby was just feeling nervous, and with all that back n forth it's no wonder you're both a bit frazzled ! And you're right, hopefully valentines love bugs will bring us all sticky beans !

 

[jjbubbles28]

At my appt on wednesday my doctor said he had originally wanted to be a fertility specialist, but decided against it due to the high emotions. He said while considering he sat in with a fertility doctor and he couldnt deal with the crying, anger, hatred, sadness everyday. So he opted for ob/gyn. So he gets the end result of delivering all the babies. It is true that this is the hardest thing we have had to deal with since I lost my Dad suddenly from a massive heart attack. You just feel lost, hopeless, sad, mad, and useless. And all you keep having people tell you is "it will happen, just relax". No one understands unless they dealt with it.

 

[KatO79]

Aww no Kat i'm sorry about AF the stupid witch ! Do you have something you can pamper yourself with ? I had my nails done this weekend and bought a load of stuff from IKEA

Silly family... they just don't know what to say and don't understand how it feels the best/worst one is when parents are like "are you SURE you want kids/have one of mine lol/it's a lot harder than it looks" etc, not helpful !

JJ i'm pleased hubby was just feeling nervous, and with all that back n forth it's no wonder you're both a bit frazzled ! And you're right, hopefully valentines love bugs will bring us all sticky beans !

Thanks patience No not really I already splurged a bit on 4 new T-shirts yesterday and am waiting on DH to give me my "salary" for this month

Oh yes my narcissitic mother tried for months to get us to not have children by telling us having her 6 kids was the biggest mistake of her life and if she could redo her life, wouldn't of had any I don't think I'll respond to my sister anymore and keep things vague in the future. I will also in the future expect nothing more of my sister, brother or anyone else in our families because they just don't get it. I literally have no understanding people to talk to besides DH and the ladies here

 

[Khigg19]

Jj, are doing clomid and IUI in feb? Or just one and then the other? I know all to well the frustration of insurance stuff. In 2015, My coverage dropped and premium increased $142 per month! I feel so stuck, because we had to buy through the marketplace (premiums through DH's work were $1500 per MONTH).

Kat, it's so frustrating when family reacts like that! When I was in the process of miscArrying 8 months ago, I was told by my mom and sister in law, "oh well, it will happen when it happens. It would have been hard to have two babies born so close together anyways." (My SIL was due 2 weeks before me)... Unfortunately the rude and thoughtless comments re-appeared when she delivered a week ago. I heard the same thing! I don't have answers as to why people are so heartless, but it always comes from someone who doesn't understand what's going on.

I wish you luck on iui#2 and all of you other ladies too!

 

[KatO79]

Kat, it's so frustrating when family reacts like that! When I was in the process of miscArrying 8 months ago, I was told by my mom and sister in law, "oh well, it will happen when it happens. It would have been hard to have two babies born so close together anyways." (My SIL was due 2 weeks before me)... Unfortunately the rude and thoughtless comments re-appeared when she delivered a week ago. I heard the same thing! I don't have answers as to why people are so heartless, but it always comes from someone who doesn't understand what's going on.

I wish you luck on iui#2 and all of you other ladies too!

Wow that's just....wow I don't get it. Even if people haven't been through it themselves, surely it's basic kindness to not say stuff like that Like I've never miscarried other than my chemical at a little over 4w but I'd never say anything like that to anyone Even if I'd of had an easy time conceiving I would know not to say what my sister said to anyone going through assisted conception and it not working the 1st time or whatever. It's like you're partly making the conversation about yourself and trivialising someone else's pain/struggle.

The worse thing is my sister (other than my cousin who's been really great) is otherwise the nicest person to discuss this with in my family and shows some interest. My brother and his wife have shown little to no interest (mostly he's been in the none category). I actually had an altercation with my brother since he decided to debate with me on FB because of an article I shared about the myth of the relaxation mantra people give to infertile couples. He wouldn't listen to any of my counterarguments so I tried to end it because of it going nowhere anyway but also because I'm not in the right mental place for it. When I told him I was ending the conversation, he told me I was only ending it because it wasnt going the way I liked and to post on when I was ready for an "adult conversation" and to hear an opinion differing mine This coming from a man who's been through assisted conception himself (for 5 years before conceiving their daughter)which just makes it worse So yeah, my sister isn't as nasty about it.

Thanks Khigg

 

[KatO79]

So just got back from the clinic and they've put my dose up to 66 IU this time. So we'll see. Maybe there will be 3 follies this time instead of 2 No cysts apparently so that's good, otherwise they wouldn't let me start IUI #2 this month.

The nurse was actually in a better mood today (was the same one I've had the last 2 times I was there) and said that IUI #1 didn't go according to plan apparently So she's hoping our luck is much better this time

Injection #1 starts tonight and my U/S #2 will be next Tuesday at 1 PM. This will be of course the most exciting one to see how many follies there are and if I'm ready to trigger

Please let this IUI be the one

 

[patienceiav]

That's great that they're upping your dose hope that makes you pop eggies left right and centre! can't wait to hear about your u/s next week

I'm going to be more relaxed than usual this month, after the nightmare OPK's last cycle I'll not do them this time and just temp to see skrev when I get the rise after ov, that way I know when to start the cream but don't stress about bd i also won't test early even if I feel 100% pregnant, cuz every time I get that faint line it vanishes instead of getting stronger so I just hope I can remove some mental aspect of stress and keep that bean hanging on!

 

[KatO79]

That's great that they're upping your dose hope that makes you pop eggies left right and centre! can't wait to hear about your u/s next week

I'm going to be more relaxed than usual this month, after the nightmare OPK's last cycle I'll not do them this time and just temp to see skrev when I get the rise after ov, that way I know when to start the cream but don't stress about bd i also won't test early even if I feel 100% pregnant, cuz every time I get that faint line it vanishes instead of getting stronger so I just hope I can remove some mental aspect of stress and keep that bean hanging on!

Just as long as it's not more than 3 follies since more than that and they cancel the IUI I'll of course update next week with what the results are. Here's hoping that numerous things don't go wrong on the actual IUI day like last time

I think that may be a good idea. I'm going to try and have a totally stress free "cycle" myself (it'll be cycle #19). Which means avoiding talking to my sister and brother/wife about our IUI Think I'll only talk to my cousin about it as she's extremely positive and supportive every time I write/talk to her She's probably the front runner on my side of the family to be Godmother now despite the fact she's in her mid-50s, just because she's been so amazing Think I'll have to give her a little gift when I do get my BFP Anyway, yes I don't test before I'm late for the same reason, it's just stressful. Maybe make yourself wait until you're around 14 dpo? That should be a good date to test. I'm going to totally give up on symptom spotting as I was a bit fooled last time. That might be good to, if you can

 

[patienceiav]

ignoring symptoms is quite easy for me, I don't get many really problem for me is I've developed a bit of a 6th sense when it comes to getting pregnant! Often my chemical cycles I just "know" i am then that feeling vanishes and the lines go away i can ignore all symptoms except: being ravenous all the time and the metallic taste in my mouth, those are exclusive bfp signs for me though that's if we get any bd in this month, I think I'm getting a bad virus of sorts!

 

[jjbubbles28]

Im doing both this month. We decided on one month (mostly out of pocket) and if nothing happens maybe just clomid. I just hate this insurance thing. I pay 127 a week, 70 copays for these special tests and then still half this stuff is not covered. They refused to let me pay out of pocket for u/s saying it has to go through insurance, which will make me pay more each time. It is definitely not helping with stress free baby making. Anywho, 5 days to sexing Khigg!! are you super psyched. Give me your thoughts? hubby? Reveal ideas? Names, still the same? How has everything been with your brother? and hows your sister doing? I too dont get symptoms, so that day my boobs hurt I will die
Kat , good luck trying to be stress free. Maybe you can give me some lessons.......

 

[KatO79]

Actually since it's IUI that already helps with the stress as I'm sure that lots of are up there ready for the egg(s) That used to be something that'd worry me each month.

Plus now that my MIL is beginning to understand things plus I won't be responding to my brother or sister on FB, that'll help as well. I'm almost tempted to tell them that if they're not going to be supportive and stop putting themselves at the center of attention and saying stupid stuff then don't contact me but that'd be suicide so I'll just ignore everything and not write back I'll update my cousin and let her tell them if they're interested. I'm sure they'll see that as me being a self-centered witch but I don't care at this point If needing to take care of myself right now mentally and emotionally as I go through assisted conception is selfish, then I guess I'm selfish I've also told DH to not do anything to hurt his back again and to try and not irritate me

I've stopped expecting to be pregnant every month so that helps. Then there's the total lack of care when we BD as I'm coming to the conclusion it doesn't matter that much, as long as there are at least 1-2 sessions during the fertile period, preferably as close to O as possible. I don't use OPKs, temp or anything else for that matter and haven't for months so that helps as well.

The only thing now is I need to avoid my mother as much as possible and anyone else who will say something stupid, like all of DH's friends with kids. But they pretty much avoid us now that they have kids and we don't so should be easy