Started Fertility Testing..Need buddies...

[Khigg19]

We are super psyched, but also nervous! I just want it over with so that I know everything is ok.. I've been saying boy since the beginning and my hubby has thought girl. So one of us is right! Lol. I'm 19 wks today, and my bump is still tiny, I just feel chubby most days, but have felt the baby move 3-4 times in the last week and a half. It doesn't really feel like anything other than a twitch/flutter or pressure/pop. It's so weird. We've talked names and we still like Tristan for a boy, but not 100% sure and we've changed our mind on girl names a million times, but think we like Sadie. We really won't know until we know the sex of the babe, then I think it will be easier to pick.

My brother and his wife are well and adjusting great to parenthood. My brother took a different position at work to better his family, so I'm really proud of him. He's had oportunitities before and passed them up.

My sister and her boyfriend have been TTC for the last 3 months. Which is a huge step because after the stillbirth she said she never wNted to be pregnant again. She just got her period and is feeling defeated, but we talked about it and I let her know that I knew exactly what she was feeling.

Thanks for asking how is your brother doing? And his wife? And your pups?

 

[jjbubbles28]

19 weeks, time is flyingLove , love Sadie. Just doesnt go with our last name Nappi, so never considered it. I can only imagine what that flutter feels like. I hope I feel it soon. How are you revealing? Im glad your brother took this opportunity. Its so hard to change what we're comfortable with. What did they name the baby? I love names
I want to give your sister a hug. I cant imagine how hard it was and seeing a new baby probably doesnt help.
My brother and wife are well. He is dying for a kid, but she felt now she just wasnt ready. But they are happy and young and thats what counts. Pups are OLD. 14 1/2 and almost 17. Good sports with this weather and besides arthritis doing well. Hubby is going for a new job next week at Amtrak. Union, better benefits, and possibly better pay, but a huge commute. Not putting too much thought into it just in case its a bust. On second day of clomid. Warned people of possible mood swings First US yesterday, waiting on results and starting opks on Wednesday to see when IUI can be done. Praying for Friday/Saturday. Have a good feeling this month since we started on my late Dads bday yesterday. Hoping he brings me luck. How is everyone else doing? Patience did you get that virus?

 

[Khigg19]

We have a photo shoot lined up to reveal to friends and family that we aren't that close too. We told everyone that the appt is the following week, so no one knows we are going early except my twin sister and the photographer. Dh and I are going to stop by my parents house on Friday the 13th (my siblings will all be there) and we are going to bring cupcakes with white frosting on top. We'll hollow out the inside and fill with pink or blue frosting! Can't wait to surprise them. DH family lives about 18 hours away so they will find out via text/phone/facebook.

My brother named their baby Zoey Grace and she is the cutest little thing ever! It's not fun when you aren't on the same page about being ready for a babe. I was ready for a long time before my hubby was, but if they have youth on their side then so be it!

Did you husband get the job?! Or is he applying? Unions are great, especially their insurance you'll have to let me know how that goes! Our pup and kitten love each other and have adjusted well. The dog's hip and knee cap grind in the sockets and bother him, but I think the cold contributes, because it just came out of nowhere. Unless he's faking it bc he's a druggy- we've talked about that possibility too, hahaha.

Do you take clomid your whole cycle? I'm so anxious for you and will be sticking around for every little detail even if I'm quiet! Plus I realized, I stopped birth control last year on feb 8th! That means we've been posting together for a year! How crazy is that!

 

[jjbubbles28]

A year and still no coffee
I have a friend that just did a cake reveal with colored icing in the center. It was great! Hubby is interviewing for the position. Im a little nervous bc it didnt state hours, days, nights, salary when applying. It would give him a huge commute again, but if everything else is positive he will do it. We can always move closer. My dogs live on pain killers, I say if it makes quality of life better, its a go. Anybody have good plans this weekend? I am working and then pizza and a movie One of my favorite things to do. Sunday just visiting my grandmother and food shopping. They're saying we're getting a huge snowstorm again here. We still have the 20 inches from 2 weeks ago

 

[patienceiav]

JJ my weekend will be spent mostly sulking and watching TV

I've been off work sick since weds right in my lead up to Ov, i really need to start on the opks to see what's happening this month! Maybe it'll be an on time ov for me

 

[jjbubbles28]

Oh no! Flu? Everyone is sick lately.

 

[KatO79]

Other than seeing my narcissistic mother on Saturday, nothing planned Which isn't good because she gives me stress I'm sure she'll be happy to hear that IUI #1 failed, she tried for months to get us to not have children and I'm sure she's hoping I'm infertile although she's putting up an act and acting like she's suddenly supportive I'm sure most of the day will go with her talking to my DH about stocks and the world situation (plus some racist stuff about muslims I'm sure) and ignoring me 3/4 of the time like she usually does Hopefully it won't be a very long visit.

So sorry you're sick patience, hope it isn't the flu Last time I had it, I was practically bed/sofa ridden for 2 weeks I only got up to eat dinner and use the toilet plus quickie showers.

 

[patienceiav]

Wow your mum sounds mad as a bag of badgers bleh don't bother telling her anything imo, don't let yourself get surrounded by such negativity!

Yeah some kinda flu cold stinks! I think it is stress induced illness though, work is really getting me down

On the plus side I took my first opk this morning at cd13 and it was a blaring positive! I only hope I might ov tomorrow so I can get some bd in!

 

[KatO79]

Wow your mum sounds mad as a bag of badgers bleh don't bother telling her anything imo, don't let yourself get surrounded by such negativity!

Yeah some kinda flu cold stinks! I think it is stress induced illness though, work is really getting me down

On the plus side I took my first opk this morning at cd13 and it was a blaring positive! I only hope I might ov tomorrow so I can get some bd in!

Yes she's mentally ill although she hasn't officially been diagnosed as she refuses to see a psychiatrist I'm 100% sure she has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). She's alienated all her kids except me (and the one that died back in the 90s of AIDS) although next time she gets nasty, I'm done with her She's very good at saying hurtful things and calling it her "just being honest." I remember one time she gave me a fright and I told her "You gave me a heart attack!" and she said in a serious voice with a smile on her lips "That's impossible, you don't have a heart" I have many stories like this. The most recent one (besides the whole "don't have kids" thing) she also went bonkers when I got unjustly fired from a job 1½ years ago and wanted me to tell the whole department what had happened. When I refused to create drama during my last few weeks, despite her telling me numerous times I'm an idiot if I don't do as she says, she lost it and starting screaming nasty things at me so I ended up hanging up. It's useless to discuss these episodes with her as she always says she's done nothing wrong, typical NPD I'm afraid I lucked out in having a toxic parent I avoid talking to her as much as possible now to avoid as much drama as possible. She's not above involving my in-laws and has called them a couple of times to involve them in the drama and make it out to be my fault If you've ever seen the series "The Sopranos", she's a lot like Tony Soprano's mother.

Awww that sucks you're so sick Hope you soon feel better

Sounds good with the positive OPK, better get BDing

UPDATE: Ughhhh my mom is really impossible today She's been after Muslims and Jews today. Now that I mentioned I wanted to see the Danish Song Contest tonight she said in a nasty tone that it's for babies When I told her it's the one for adults and not the kids version she said in an equally nasty tone "It's still for babies! " Geez she used to love watching it Not only that in the news they mentioned that young people that have had a job during grade and high school have an easier time getting a job later on she said in a nasty tone "See that's why you have trouble getting a job now, why didn't youdo that??!!" Maybe because of your constant put downs I've had self-esteem issues plus I couldn't work in Denmark the first few years as I couldn't speak the language. She's in her evil mood today

 

[patienceiav]

Man that sounds really tough i'm sorry you have to go through that all the time ! Sounds like your family is quite toxic, and it's not worth the hurt they cause just to have them in your life. I can't imagine how that feels but your happiness is more important, you need to focus on you and let their craziness come in second

 

[KatO79]

Man that sounds really tough i'm sorry you have to go through that all the time ! Sounds like your family is quite toxic, and it's not worth the hurt they cause just to have them in your life. I can't imagine how that feels but your happiness is more important, you need to focus on you and let their craziness come in second

Unfortunately I'm used to hearing her say stuff like this I try and remind myself she has huge self-esteem issues and needs to be cruel to make herself feel better but sometimes it's hard. Her and her equally toxic sister have really created havoc in this family and why we're not close. I was about to drop her back when she criticized me about not making a stink about my firing but my DH practically begged me to give her another chance. So I did

I've cut way down on how much I talk to her but she always finds a way to hurt me. My brother is a product of how she raised him. He's a bit narcissistic himself while I became the insecure mess that got the criticisme. I only started to recover back in 2013 when I figured out what the problem was and that it wasn't me, it's them!

I'm going to keep my child away from my side of the family as much as possible and raise him /her to be a confident and happy person that knows his/her mother loves him /her and will always put them first. I refuse to repeat the horrible family dynamic my mother has created! My child will deserve to only feel the unconditional love I only felt from my father.

 

[jjbubbles28]

I cannot imagine this type of person in my life. I would never talk to them. Easier said then done but if people dont ever make you happy why give them the time of day. Stop calling, stop going by and maybe theyll get the point. Just saying, especially now you dont need stress.

 

[KatO79]

I cannot imagine this type of person in my life. I would never talk to them. Easier said then done but if people dont ever make you happy why give them the time of day. Stop calling, stop going by and maybe theyll get the point. Just saying, especially now you dont need stress.

It's a bit harder when it's your own mother behaving this way No one in DH's family understands what's going on. It doesn't help that society glorifies mothers, that they're all wonderful women that sacrifice themselves for their children. To suggest one's own mother isn't like that? Most condemn you or don't understand and think you're exaggerating. I know at another forum I was a member of one woman (funnily enough a Danish woman living in the UK) got tired of me talking my mother (to be fair I only had 1 thread about it and mentioned her to people who had toxic mothers themselves to show them I knew their pain) and she told me that that's why I have so few friends here in Denmark because the Danes love their Mommys and don't like people who badmouth their mothers, her words. She was pretty awful and went on to really insult me. Have never logged on since so many of the other members supported her views. Anyway my point is pretty clear, many people don't want to understand a mother can behave that way. As I said though, next time she really goes nuts, she's out of my life for good.

The problem with NPD, they never get it. In their minds, they're ALWAYS right. No amount of silent treatment or discussion will make them see it. No therapy helps either since they refuse to admit fault in anything. I actually did cut off contact with her after that incident with my firing. I wrote her a letter saying I couldn't continue seeing her if our relationship was going to be so toxic. Didn't hear from her until 6 months later and she talked me and DH to come by. When we finally talked about it, she denied everything, that she doesn't remember any of the horrible things she's done and said to me, NONE of it. We're talking even the very memorable ones like the time she got mad about something I said and used the silent treatment me (her way of punishing me every time I show some independence). One week later it was her birthday and DH (who was my boyfriend at the time) talked me into biking by her house so I did. I knocked on the door, she opened it and saw it was me, grimaced and slammed the door in my face. When I tried to tell her it all was true and try to figure out where to go from there, she turned the whole conversation to be about her. She started crying (she totally can turn it on and off, I've seen her start and stop within a few seconds) and talked about her painful childhood. No empathy for what she put me through, none. So she's a hopeless case

My brother lives in the US so I only see him every 2-3 years and don't communicate much with him anyway. My sister avoided my toxic mother but I think she's fallen for my brother's act because she hasn't been able to see anything wrong in the way he's handled my infertility. She lives in New York and my brother lives in Maryland so they see each other often so he has the advantage. My cousin has been through almost the same as me with her mother (my mother's sister) so we've bonded over that and she's a sweetheart.

Here's a link about having a NPD mother: https://www.lightshouse.org/characteristics-of-narcissistic-mothers.html#axzz3INSsJyE4

 

[patienceiav]

That's some crazy stuff noone knows your life like you do, don't let people on the Internet get you down, life isn't always happy families you'd think they understood that! It must hurt like hell for you but it sounds like you're better off keeping her out of your life, noone should have to put up with that

How's the IUI going? When is your u/s, this week sometime?

 

[KatO79]

That's some crazy stuff noone knows your life like you do, don't let people on the Internet get you down, life isn't always happy families you'd think they understood that! It must hurt like hell for you but it sounds like you're better off keeping her out of your life, noone should have to put up with that

How's the IUI going? When is your u/s, this week sometime?

It's hard though because I felt like it was a group of people I could talk to about things and many of the ones who turned against me where ones I've supported during their issues or offered good advice. But everyone sided with her because they had a good impression of her and felt she was right to say those things. I think many have issues when you challenge the idea that not all mothers are loving people She went ballistic and really was horrible towards me. Unfortunately none of the members I knew that supported me and knew what it was like happened to comment the thread. I don't know if it was because they were afraid of being bullied themselves or they didn't notice the thread Never found out since I immediately left the forum and refuse to log in ever again. It's a pity because there were a couple of very nice girls on that forum that I had good relationships with. I don't know if I should've sent them my email adresse before leaving

I'm trying to avoid talking to my mother as much as possible but that can be difficult. Every time DH and I go over to her place she tries to guilt trip me by complaining that I don't pick up the phone often when she calls me It's to keep the drama down as much as possible, especially now when she can't really be supportive during our struggle to have a baby. But if she ever goes nuts again like she did back in September 2013 after I got fired where she screamed nasty things at me, she'll be out of my life for good.

Anyway my U/S is tomorrow at 1:00 PM so it'll be exciting to see how many follies there are and if I can trigger or not Haven't had as much ovary pain this time so don't know if that bodes bad for the amount of follies or if my body is just more used to the Puregon now and it's normal to feel less the 2nd time around I'll know for sure tomorrow.

 

[patienceiav]

Man, I'd not be going to visit if you're going to get bad attitude every time tough with family though!

But yay for u/s! I find that I normally notice ov on one side more than the other so maybe it's just your quiet side that's preparing can't wait to see how that goes!

I'm in the "what's going on" phase, I got the +opk on Saturday so I figured ov yesterday, but tordays temp was low as I keep getting around ov i guess worst case I ov today and start the progesterone tomorrow! It's all a bit of a surprise, ov a week earlier than expected and I'm still feeling ill, struggling to stay awake at work here at lunch my boobs have also hurt since Saturday??

 

[KatO79]

It's just that last time I felt pains on both sides (although it was mostly the left ovary that was giving occasional pain twinges) for a few days before my 2nd U/S even though my right ovary apparently wasn't producing any eggs while my left had 2 of them. This time not much pain on either side so that makes me a bit nervous if there are any eggs at all I'll be triggering one os these days so no O pains until then although I didn't have any O pains last time but got the back ache I normally get right before O. I think the ovary twinges were/are production pains if you get my meaning.

By the way, DH and I have stopped thinking about which positions to be in when we BD as we've done that for so long without it helping so now we're just enjoying ourselves I think the IUI helps as we know for sure it places lots of right up in the uterus just before O

If I remember correctly, you should O between 12-48 hours after a positive OPK. So if you got a positive Saturday you could potentially first be due to O today. But only you know what's normal for you. I know with a positive OPK I normally O within 12 hours but that's probably because I would always catch the tailend of my surge. Is it normal for you to have pain in your breasts before O? I know some women do get that before O. As for being tired I'd get that before O as well, usually 2-3 days before it'd start and continue until O day or sometimes until 1 DPO. Good luck

 

[jjbubbles28]

Todays the scan right Khigg? Best of luck

 

[Khigg19]

Yup! So I went and they hadn't scheduled my appt!! I had to wait an hour and a half (bc DH took work off), but they squeezed me in. Everything is healthy and measuring right on track. My dr office even does 3d images so I got to see a few 3d images too! We had our photoshoot and called a family meeting.. We passed out cup cakes and at that point everyone knew! But it was well worth it to surprise them, and everyone was glad that they got to find out together

Oh and it's a boy!! A nameless boy

 

[KatO79]

So just got back from the clinic and I have 3 large follies in my right ovary and 2 small ones on my left They weren't big enough to trigger so I need to continue with Puregon for a few more days and come in again on Friday morning so they can see if I'm ready to trigger them.

Had a feeling my right ovary was extra active as I've had more pain twinges from that one