Starting egg share buddy wanted.

[pcct]

Thanks bumski and hope just a little shoe message from me just now as I have had a killer headache all day got my hair done today too got some brown thru it so it's manageable

 

[g3mz]

Loving the pic pcct!! Hope you have lots of lovely follies growing cant wait to hear how many Friday!!

What started as a nice day has turned out pretty rubbish for me!! il cut the story as short as I can!!
I have a step daughter that is 14 she didn't see dh from age 5-9 but that another story! Anyway when me and dh got together I supported him going through court to see his children! From day 1 Kim was horrid to me and my children!! She would totally blank me we thought things would get better but they got worse as she got older best example she tried her best to stop our wedding day cried all morning when I was getting ready, phoned dh begging him not to marry me!, cried loudly through the ceremony,refused to have pics, threw coke on my dress, ripped hers on purpose, the list could go on and that's just one day!! Last year when I first joined babyandbump she went through the history on my laptop and found my posts and flipped!! She told dh if we had a baby she would never see him again!! Told me I wasn't fit to be a mother and said awful things about my children and their disabilities!! Begged him to leave me again!!! Said I was an awful wife and he deserved better and it was only a matter of time before I slept with someone my own age!! (13 yrs between me an dh) she refused to apologise and didn't see dh from April last year until 1 week before Xmas!! She still refused to apologise so I refused to have her in the house so dh takes her out for the day every Saturday which she thinks is amazing coz its less time with my 2 and me!
He told me last week he thought she had changed and would soon be ready to come back over the house!
He went out with her yesterday and showed her his new tattoo my name on his arm with flowers around it she sarcastically replied, nice flowers!
It really upsets me coz dh's other daughter has always been close to me and I'm no different to her. Anyway after seeing the tatt she's now decided she needs him to pic her up from drama thurs and Friday night (shes got practise for her show miles away)and still pick her up sat and then go watch her show Saturday night as well this is what she's like she's loving that she gets him to herself and try's to be as awkward as poss so now we can't go out like originally planned for valentines and I will hardly see him this week when I might need him for support if i get a bfn!!
Iv got the feeling I get usually just a few hours before af shows feeling really tearfull now!

Sorry for the long negative post!! xx

 

[g3mz]

Today I got weak and tested 13dpo and got a bfn!! I used a frer and I know they are really sensitive so that's me out iv still got to test on Saturday as that's my official test date not sure why 18dpo seems a bit much?
Can't ring the clinic until then to arrange a follow up to find out how long we have to wait until we can transfer our frostie! x

 

[pcct]

Aw g3 hang in there Hun otd not sat!
So sorry to hear about ur day yesterday she does sounds so nasty and jell completely horrible what she did in your wedding day! I hope things can get better soon for u hunni we are all here for u as much as we can!!
Xxx

 

[bumski]

Oh no g3mz!!! I can't believe it. I'm so so sorry, I really hope it's just a little too early yet and there is still time. I'm absolutely gutted for you, I'm praying it's just to early Hun. Will you test again before sat or are you going to hold out until then?
My clinic wanted me to test at 19dpo so maybe there is good reason for it with ivf. Still keeping everything crossed for you, thinking of you xxx

 

[g3mz]

I will test on Saturday before I ring the clinic, next step will be our frostie then if that fails we will try egg share once more and of course if we get any frosties from that try that but after that if we still don't get our bfp we will give up its all so emotionally draining!! I didn't tell anyone that I'd gone ahead with egg share this time so that makes it a little easier only my parents and mother in law knew I know I just need to look forward and not back!! x

 

[nimbec]

Oh g3 I so hope it's just early - sending u massive hugs tho in any case as I imagine you re feeling pretty down (((hugs))) wait till sat and fx you may have a different result! And positive thinking at least you have a frostie !! Also I can't believe what a cow oh daughter is being grrr can oh see what she is doing? Maybe have a word with him and say you need his support as this is such an emotionally draining experience - I still think men really have very little understanding of the emotions we go through!!!

I had mum down for weekend and was lovely but I was disappointed in oh I felt like he jut didn't want to spend any time with my familly! His live 2 mins down road so he sees them all te time. I'm lucky if I see my parents once in 2-3 months so I like to make it special! Firstly he was ment to be rallying his car all sat day & eve (which I accepted as they where arriving fri eve and leaving sun lunch) but then it was cancelled due to a part not turning up (cue happy me!) but then e organised to go watch the football grrrr I was really hurt!! It ment that my step dad had to tag along baby shopping with mum and me he was very good but I felt guilty! Then oh was really stroppy with me yesterday and he had cheek to say I was irritating him!!!!! Grrr I just bit my tongue anyway rant over sorry!!

He's now away again with work so feeling very pregnant & lonley

Hope everyone is ok!!

 

[g3mz]

Men ay!!
His daughter made my life hell for a long time and mark always tiptoed around her coz he was scared she would stop seeing him and that his sons would then do the same! Until she had her tantrum after checking my history and I told him he either stood up for me or I was cancelling the ivf and moving out, so he did what I asked and then she refused to see him for 9months now it feels like we are back to square 1!! He thinks it ok coz he's not bringing her to the house but she still manages to make things awkward without even being here!!
I tested this morning coz I knew it would be negative and I'd rather get over the worst of it now while he's around than Saturday when he's out with her all day then going to watch her play so I'm on my own from 12-10pm having to put a brave face on for the kids on my own!!!! Grrrr I just want to scream!!!!!
Guess its one way to get my mind off it I'm soooo angry with mark iv got no time to be upset!! x

 

[Hope41more]

Oh gmz3- i am soooo sorry. I think 13dpo is too early to test though as that would be before your period would be due on a 'normal' cycle. 14dpo would be earliest i would test, don't lose hope it may just be too early but i do agree 18dpo is way off but clinic will be covering there backs for the small percentage of people who implant late or hsg levels increase slowly. When would your period be due???
I posted a long post on sun night about having similar probs with my baby's dad's daughter- took me an hour and it has not posted I have not gone into it in the past coz it's a LONG story but she is 15yrs old an only child, her mother is an alcoholic (2liver transplants and is 12yrs my senior) after 2yrs of his ex refusing a routine for contact and for me to see her (thus for us to spend time as a family) i put my foot down and I arranged to sort things through court (basically she would use the child as a bargining tool ie demand more money in exchange for contact, would change contact at last min ALL the time so we could never have time together/make arrangements on a weekend etc) Coz of me he now has parental responsibility, contact every weekend from fri 6pm- sat 6pm, but contact never worked between us as his daughter had been brain washed into not liking me, she did not like sharing, having different rules to home and her dad would treat her differently to my girls (letting her have her own way, different rules for her etc) then he would tell me off for trying to 'get her round' by being nice and 'me' towards her and tell me to leave her to come round herself if i did that i was then neglecting her- i could not win!!! Then she would get interogated when she got home and things got soooo bad he decided he wanted to have contact with her on his own again. We agreed and he then went back to having contact at his mams every weekend. Which is great for her coz as you say she gets spoilt rotton for time, money and affection (they do things EVERY weekend that we could not afford to do regulary as a family of 6)
Forward 8/9years and as i am pregant he is now USING his daughter as an excuse to abandon me, the girls and the baby saying he won't give up his daughter!!! I have never asked him too and have told him i don't mind even seeing her again. Which if i'm honest will be a nightmare as her hatred towards me is crazy and her upbringing the opposite to my girls!!! She is a major problem teen complete opposite to my girls, she wears tarty clothes, tons of make up, skips school, swears, sleeps around, drinks and i'm sure she even takes drugs!!! My girls have their heads in school work, my eldest 2 have stable boyfriends ( both been with them over 2yrs) one wants to be a doctor, dress classy etc etc. They are polar opposites to her.
Things came to a head last night as my eldest found her twitter account and she was slagging me off!!! (comments like- sly, twisted little cow. People like you should not be allowed to have babies- psycho!!!) then in the next breath saying she was excited to see her baby brother!!! I rang her dad and told him to sort her out and that as he knows i have brought my kids to know better (they would not dare talk about anything private on social networking sites) also that if he did not make her delete the comments i could not guarantee my girls would not reply and retaliate (mind i would not have let them)Well she took them down but twitted saying the only person she listens to is her dad even when his is WRONG.
Things could not be any worse but as you say the anger makes you stronger. I'm feeling very protective of my son at moment and the way she is going she will never see him and neither will her dad.
Are you trying for your first baby together? how many children does your OH have sounds like 2girls and 2boys??? Try and stay positive and talk to OH and let him know how you are feeling. He sounds very supportive but seems so scared of his daughter she is using it to get her own way.

 

[Hope41more]

nimbec- I hope your feeling less lonely and you and baby and doing well. How long is your oh away for?

 

[bettybee1]

Am so sorry gmz !! You not out till AF shows tho

But your right think positive don't look back ! When would they put your frostie back can they do that this cycle xxxx

 

[g3mz]

Hope your situation with dh and step daughter sounds very similar to mine!! It's a nightmare isn't it!! Mark has a dd that's now nearly 19 she's lived with us on/off her mother is horrid but no matter how much we do she never appreciates it yet her mother can do no wrong!! But never done anything nasty she just loves her mother and can't let go that she didn't see him for a few years when she was little, she's never had a problem with me or my children! Then he has 2 boys and the girl from his ex wife 1 of the boys not biologically his but he brought him up when he was little. The boys are fine with me and the kids and think their sister is being very childish! Especially for a girl who is very intelligent!!! Their mother left dh for his best mate then stopped him seeing the kids! Even changed their surnames behind his back!! She's a very evil woman who thinks the only thing that matters in the world is money!!!! And unfortunately it's rubbed off on Kim!! My mother in law thinks the same of her as I do as she's got residency of her granddaughter and Kim's horrible to her too!!
Your right it is like he's scared of her but I know when we have a baby she will stick to her word and won't see him again! (She has no idea we are doing ivf she thinks we have changed our minds dh was hoping she would have grown up a bit in the last year but evidently not!!

I'm not sure how long il have to wait Betty but I think it will be 2-3 cycles as I had to wait 3 cycles before I started this time?

From what iv read on google (coming from me that tells everyone google is not your friend it's evil lol) cyclogest holds af back for some people, but yesterday I would have put money on af turning up but still no sign today and af pains have gone (shouldn't speak to soon really) but I keep checking as TMI ALERT LOL I feel wet as iv got loads of watery cm? Af would have been due today on a normal cycle. Still not holding out much hope but I will test again on Saturday x

 

[bettybee1]

How come you have too wait so long cxxx

 

[g3mz]

I thinks it's to let your body recover from everything all the drugs, egg collection things like that xx

 

[bettybee1]

Ahhhh okay that's Crap int it I hope you can do fet more quickly than that if you have too of course ! Xx

 

[Hope41more]

gmz3- I really do feel your pain.Your situation is so similar but at least your oh has stood by you. when she is horrid my babys dad makes excuses for her and sides with her. Oh and to make things worse i have no dealings with my babys grandmother (his mother) she never wanted to meet me as i had children to someone else and she did not want to upset his ex (daughters mam). After 2 1/2 yrs we got engaged and i had still not met her. I had met his dad had to sit outside in car while he got him and we would take him to watch the football. He was lush and love me- argued with his wife about me a lot. When he got so sick and broke windows in his house (alzheimers) he told his mam i was the best person to help (hospital, care home, sort house hold bills etc etc). I did EVERYTHING for her and her husband for 6mths before he died. Never got a thank you or nothing and as soon as he died and i organised everything i was no longer welcome again. She rang and invited him and his daughter round for boxing day (no invite for me and my girls) i told him that was it i had washed my hands with her. Well she had the cheek to come to mine at boxing day tea time when he brought his daughter to mine- what a flaming cheek!!!!!!! well i have not seen her since 9years and now i'm pregnant he is demanding i apologise to her and let her see the baby- YOU WHAT!!!!!!!!!! OVER MY DEAD BODY!!!!!!!!
Put it this way listen to this story- when he was living with me and i was not allowed to see his daughter i rang him during contact (fri night) and asked if he could take me and daughter to hospital other daughter had jammed her foot in the door!! (she lost her toe nail and toe was in a state) i could not drive and was nightmare to get to hospital. He went to get ready and left his phone ON, his mother then started to tell his daughter (age 3 at the time) repeatedly that he did not love her anymore and only cared about that 'other womans' kids!!!!! Could not believe my ears. She is seriously sick in the head and def did not help the situation with his daughter- brainwashed into hating me by her mother and grandmother before i had even met her!!! sorry rant over.
I have loads of watery cm now i am pregnant so you never know it might be a good sign for you. Keep your chin up and let me know how your talk goes with OH. xxx

 

[g3mz]

The good thing about mark is he knows when he's done wrong, he won't admit it but he will do something to say sorry without actually saying it!! Today after him knocking the kitchen tiles off in November!!!! He's actually pushed his work off until 2moro and spent the day doing the new tiles!! About time!! He has annoyed me slightly tho as I want to let it sink in that its failed and he refuses to believe it has he's still so positive about it working that I think it's going to hit him harder than me!!

Gosh hope you mil sounds a right witch!! I totally understand why you wouldn't want her around your baby!!

Iv got 4 tests here dh wants me to test 2moro up until Saturday if that's what it takes to help him accept it that's what il do!! I'm just wishing the days away until Saturday so I can phone the clinic to book a follow up appointment to find out when we can do out frozen transfer! X

 

[Hope41more]

Ah bless you both. I think testing everyday till sat might be a bit tough going, i know i could not do it. Would it not be best to do one tomorrow then one fri and then go to clinic sat for OTD? just my opinion and everyone does things differently. I think hpts can kill us LTTTC and crush us if we don't get the result we want. I'm soooo hoping this is your time- you deserve this hun. xxx

 

[g3mz]

Right ladies I am very confused and I feel like life is playing a cruel joke on me!!!!

This morning I woke up felt a bit queezy took a frer bfn......what I expected then I took an Internet cheapy and got a line.....very faint but enough to see and within the 3mins?? Could it still be an evap??
I had used the cheapies to test the trigger out and tested on Monday and they had gone stark white.
I think I'm going crazy maybe I'm looking for something that's not even there?? I don't know what to think no pains at all anymore!! x

 

[Hope41more]

I have been stalking for an update!!! Ah bless it's just awful and i feel your pain. If i was you i would either do another Frer or go get a digi- so it will be there in writing instead of trying to see lines, how dark they are, if they are evap etc. Fingers crossed for you hun. Keep me updated. xxx