Sticking together until we all get prego!

[JWC13]

Welcome to the group Babybum! What cd are you?

 

[LuLu_TTC]

Hey ladies! Can I join in? I am 28 and husband and I have been TTC for 13 months now for our first. The first few months, we weren't really "strict" but since about March of 2017 we have been very actively trying. I've been using OPK's for 6 months now. Last month we took a complete BREAK from TTC and it was much needed. We were stressing ourselves out

But, this month we are back at it with a new and happier perspective on things! O-day should fall around October 19-21st. My husband's 30th birthday is the 17th, so we will be doing as much BD-ing as possible!

In November I am having my annual OBGYN check-up and will be doing blood-work (hormone-testing) then to assess my egg quality....but I am hoping I will have some even better news before then!

Fingers crossed for all of you ladies and I look forward to hearing your stories

 

[Babybum35]

Jcw I don't really know my app claims I ovulated around the 7th so I guess 3 dpo....I think I am having lp issues as I'm still breastfeeding my two year old and those hormones can affect fertility some. It sucks so bad though cause if you speak to others they got preggers while breastfeeding or without trying and then there's people like me and many more on this thread who have to try.....
Welcome lulu. Hopefully you get some good information. Good luck and don't loose hope.

Afm I am not optimistic. We only dtd once in my fertile period so that's rough combined with just normal stress of toddlerhood and whatever. It's so distressing to watch people announce bfps the month they start trying and then it takes others so long and people always comment to. So rather than the when are you having kids type questions it changes to oh you should get on another so you have a good age gap or don't you want a sibling for lo. It's like dude but out...

 

[JWC13]

Welcome Lulu! I totally understand feeling that need to take a month off, TTC is quite the stressful process and there is so much more to it than most people realize. Hopefully with O happening around your husbands birthday, that should make the BDing process a lot more fun and stress free this cycle. Also, fingers crossed that everything goes well at your appt in November. It will be good to at least know what is going on with your body and to confirm that everything looks good.

Babybum- one day of BD in the fertile window still gives you a fighting chance. You know I've often wondered if the odds are increased by BDing more frequently during the fertile window or if one time is enough. I mean thousands of sperm are released each time, so I really wonder how much of a difference it makes. I feel like we BD more to make ourselves feel like we have a better chance but also to just ensure that we are actually BDing during a fertile day since there are only a few of those.

 

[LuLu_TTC]

Babybum - Fingers crossed for you. Hope the one time was the right time!!

JWC - thank you. Some months have definitely been tougher than others, but helps to know we are not all alone in this.

It sure it tough to watch some many of these accidental or 1 month after marriage pregnancies though. As happy as I am, It sure does sting. The hardest part, at least for me, is that so many people just don't know/don't understand and it's incredibly hard to remain optimistic/cheerful with my responses to the "why haven't you guys had kids yet" question. I am sure I am not alone in these feelings, but it sure does feel like it sometimes! Especially when I am in a group chat with some girlfriends and EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM except for me is with-child or expecting.....

 

[Alligator]

Lulu - I understand. I know people mean well, but unless you know the person well...just don't ask. We miscarried in August and I've had to answer the question probably 10 times since then of 'when are you having kids?' (we got married in May, so I get it). But everytime I have to bite my tongue, force myself not to cry and say 'oh maybe one day soon'...when inside I'm dying and wishing I could be announcing a pregnancy instead. It sucks.

 

[LuLu_TTC]

Alligator - VERY sorry to hear. It can be a very tough stage to be in alone. Thankful to have some of you ladies to vent to, although I hate to do so!

 

[Alligator]

Not at all - that's what were here for. Vent away!

 

[Babybum35]

Alli I can't imagine what it must be like to have someone ask you that question and be forced to think of what could have been. I agree for the most part unless you are family or bffs those questions should be off limit especially since you don't know the story.
Lu lu I agree that those quick pgs suck when you have to try but you don't know if they've had other issues to deal with. Its really hard to not be jealous though.

As for DTD and TTC I don't know. I think once is enough if you time it right. The biggest chance of success is the day of ovulation which is 20%. Think of it this way 1 in 5 of us will become pregnant any given month if we only have sex the day of ovulation. Its true sperm can live 3-5 days in you but unless you are within a few days of ovulation the chances are really slim.... Sorry I'm being a downer. Its really hard TTC when every time I turn around someone else is pg.... It sucks... Bad

 

[mdscpa]

:wave: Lulu and Babybum....

Lulu - FX everything works out for you. I'm expecting to O around those dates +- 2 days so we will see.

to all of us...

 

[Alligator]

Literally just today, right after making an appointment for my doctor to look into why I am still, 10 weeks after my d&c, getting VVVFL on tests (despite ovulating twice and getting two periods), I see a pregnancy announcement on FB...April 2018...ugh. Knife to the heart.

 

[Babybum35]

Stupid announcements. My bosses wife is due in November I think. He's almost 50 not sure how old she is. They already have 2 and he tells people all the time not to have kids. It's so distressing when that stuff happens. All I can say is its okay to feel jealous and angry. The fact one minute everything was fine one day and not the next must be one of the worst things to go through.
Afm I am in the waiting game and have now been reintroduced to all things cartoon. I know the official advice is limit screen time before 2 but there are some good educational shows I put on in the background while dd plays in cabinets or run laps... poor girl is getting her molars so she's been extra clingy lately

 

[Alligator]

Aw..sometimes you've got to do what you can to survive the day!!

 

[JWC13]

It's been a few days so I'm curious how everyone is doing.

Alli- let us know when you get your results back from the Dr.

Artsy- How far along are you now? Are you going to find out the sex of the baby?

Any other updates?

AFM I'm cd9 and usually ovulate on cd20...so another 11 days to go. The wait is so annoying.

 

[Alligator]

I don’t go for blood work til Wednesday! With the weekend, and no appointments available and a couple full work days I couldn’t get in til then. I probably won’t get results til Friday if I can get in to my doctor. I’ll probably ovulate by then so I hope nothing is wrong! I am cd10 and starting OPKs. I o’d d15 last time, and got a positive opk cd13. DH and I bd this am and will likely skip a day and then do Tuesday through to whenever I get a temp rise, I wanted to be more relaxed about it and also not make DH feel used and exhausted ha. It was a Marathon last month.. trying to make it more natural this month while still covering our bases!

 

[JWC13]

DH and I bd this am and will likely skip a day and then do Tuesday through to whenever I get a temp rise, I wanted to be more relaxed about it and also not make DH feel used and exhausted ha. It was a Marathon last month.. trying to make it more natural this month while still covering our bases!

Yeah I'm trying to figure out how to do that too. DH says that bding has felt like a job with me telling him when we need to do it and how often. I totally get that but I'm not really sure how else to do it. We both wake up and go to bed at different times so we do have to kind of plan it. He is totally on board to do whatever in order to conceive and is happy to do it, but it still is a lot. I think this time we will just stick to every other day as opposed to every day during fertile window. I think that will help some but at the same time will ensure we hit the right days.

 

[Alligator]

Your DH sounds similar to mine. Keen to do what’s needed but can’t help but feeling like a little bit of the intimacy is lost in all the planning and timing. It’s a bit easier for us as most days we are asleep/awake at similar times (I wake up before DH, but only by about 30 mins, and he’s happy to oblige a morning session!) I think your plan sounds good!! There should be plenty of swimmers in there if you go every other day.

 

[thencomesbebe]

I think DH and I are going to try and BD every day this week. Alli, I was doing some research on frequency of intercourse to increase chances of conception and came across this article, you might be interested in reading it.

Link to article: https://priyaring.com/blog/scientif...to-conceive/sperm-count/frequency-intercourse

It is true that sperm concentrations will drop with increasing frequency of intercourse but daily intercourse in the majority of men does not drop the count enough to reduce the added conception benefit of each act of daily intercourse (source). In fact, studies show that while it's true that sperm count may go up with abstinence, sperm vitality overall goes down. Researchers found that by ejaculating within 1 to 4 hours and 24 hours again, total motile sperm count increased over and above that of the first ejaculate (source).

 

[JWC13]

This is an awesome article, thanks for posting! I swear everything I read contradicts itself so it's nice to see something with scientific evidence and research.

In past cycles we've mainly BD every day during fertile window with us skipping a day every now and then. This makes me feel better about that knowing that every other day is still ok for those days when we are just too tired.

 

[Alligator]

That is so interesting thank you so much! There is so much conflicting info out there but I think I agree...overall, most doctors say an active sex life all month long provides the best chance, and if you do it everyday for 3-5 days in a row during the fertile window, all the better! And it keeps DH happy, win win!