Support Group failed IVF/ICSI IUI or any failed assisted conceptions 2014

[fluffystar]

Thanks Helen, I guess I cant complain that the east of england PCTs set a gap of 6 months between fresh cycles when they still fund 3 full cycles!

I just find it funny that in my head I was thinking that I needed to wait 6 months as I needed a break and then when the nurse mentioned that I had to wait 6 months anyway I kind of felt that the decision was being made for me and was a bit annoyed at having to wait rather than choosingto wait. My mind is strange!

 

[silarose28]

hi everyone

Fluffy - I was devastated when I found out I had to wait 6 months! My first cycle didn't go ahead due to poor response so I was going to have to wait 6 months to find out if ICSI was even a viable option for me!!! There seems to be no sense behind this rule - particularly ay my age (37) when my fertility is nosediving at a rapid rate!!!

Lou - how is your cycle going. It is so annoying that the NHS don't even investigate things. I have endo but diagnosed this myself before arguing my way to a lap and dye to prove it! I heard a story about a woman who went through 3 rounds of ivf without being properly investigated. After this she had some investigations which found her to be suffering from severe endo which needed treatment. After this she got pregnant (might have been naturally - not sure as my friend saw this on the TV not me.) Oh and I saw that fertilaid are now doing a supplement that targets motility as well as count. There is now a UK seller which sells this as well (used to cost a fortune from America). Fertilaid seem like a reputable company with research behing their products so it may be worth a look. I have my DH on their general supplements.

https://medicaltestcentre.co.uk/Trying_To_Conceive/Fertility_Supplements/MotilityBoost_for_Men.html



Helen - good luck with everything and I hope you get all of the tests that you want/need and that they bring you closer to that BFP - it will happen! I know how you feel about getting upset when others get pregnant so easily. I have to go out for a friend's birthday in March and I know 2 other girls in that group have been trying and will likely to be making announcements that night. To be honest I just don't think I can go - it's heartbreaking!

Mysillygirls - How are you getting on with your cycle? I'll be joining you soo. have a scan on Friday after which I need to wait for af and will then start stimming (prob end of next week).

Lolly - glad you are feeling more positive. I feel a little bit like that but am finding it really hard to break the cycle of expecting the worst!

Hello everyone else and happy new year xxxxx

 

[MySillyGirls]

hi everyone

Fluffy - I was devastated when I found out I had to wait 6 months! My first cycle didn't go ahead due to poor response so I was going to have to wait 6 months to find out if ICSI was even a viable option for me!!! There seems to be no sense behind this rule - particularly ay my age (37) when my fertility is nosediving at a rapid rate!!!

Lou - how is your cycle going. It is so annoying that the NHS don't even investigate things. I have endo but diagnosed this myself before arguing my way to a lap and dye to prove it! I heard a story about a woman who went through 3 rounds of ivf without being properly investigated. After this she had some investigations which found her to be suffering from severe endo which needed treatment. After this she got pregnant (might have been naturally - not sure as my friend saw this on the TV not me.) Oh and I saw that fertilaid are now doing a supplement that targets motility as well as count. There is now a UK seller which sells this as well (used to cost a fortune from America). Fertilaid seem like a reputable company with research behing their products so it may be worth a look. I have my DH on their general supplements.

https://medicaltestcentre.co.uk/Trying_To_Conceive/Fertility_Supplements/MotilityBoost_for_Men.html



Helen - good luck with everything and I hope you get all of the tests that you want/need and that they bring you closer to that BFP - it will happen! I know how you feel about getting upset when others get pregnant so easily. I have to go out for a friend's birthday in March and I know 2 other girls in that group have been trying and will likely to be making announcements that night. To be honest I just don't think I can go - it's heartbreaking!

Mysillygirls - How are you getting on with your cycle? I'll be joining you soo. have a scan on Friday after which I need to wait for af and will then start stimming (prob end of next week).

Lolly - glad you are feeling more positive. I feel a little bit like that but am finding it really hard to break the cycle of expecting the worst!

Hello everyone else and happy new year xxxxx

Hi, Sila! Right now I am just on the lupron but will start the actual stims on Monday. So, you and I will have similar timing

 

[Inky2006]

Hello everyone, new year, new start an all that. I have had alot of catching up to do on here.

Fluffy - just want to add my 2 pennies worth. My clinic will only carry out another IVF cycle after 3 months. This is mainly because some people's cycles are not back to normal. Mine was 45 days after failed cycle. Is usually every 30 days. After, my failed cycle I had to wait 2 months for a followup appt. I thought this was atrocious, and wrote a lengthy complaint. I even spoke to the PCT comissioners (that organise funding). It transpires that a 6 month wait in between cycles is often due to finances.In my case I am funding FET because would have waited until April (new financial year) luckily have just heard will now get funded for next full cycle and will still stay on the list. Under our PCT are entitled to two cycles and two FETs. This is very good according to what I have heard, but my PCT have been in huge financial difficulties.

As for me am trying to stay off bnb for abit because get too obsessed. My new years resolution is to go with the flow abit more and not over analyse everything. I am going into FET blind, because have banned myself from researching and looking at stats. The only thing I am going to try and do is obsess about getting fit.

Anyway, sending all of you some positivity and hope for 2011. I haven't got time to write to all of you but will be back soon to catch upxxxxx

 

[Lou32]

Thanks Silarose. Had a quick look but phew, it's still so expensive. DH used to be on Fertilaid (used to buy off ebay and it cost a fortune). i don't really know if they made a difference. His motility went up slightly, but I wasn't sure if it was the fact the second SA was done on site rather than taking it in in the car. He then went onto Wellman Conception for a few months and I've now got him on the Zita West tabs in the run up to our second icsi. Do you know what the shipping's like for this website? i couldn't find it anywhere.
ZW tabs are already £20 a month, so this would take it up to nearly £40 a month. It's so tempting, but so much to pay with all the ivf to pay for. Whey can't these supplements be a reasonable price?!!
Just been looking at clinics too (thinking either Care Sheffield or Manchester, although I'm swaying towards Manchester) and I can't get over how much they charge for everything. It's looking like nearly £5k rather than the £4k we origi nally planned for. We need to win the lottery!!

 

[silarose28]

Hiya everyone

MSG - I've got a scan on Fri. I'll stop taking my pills a few days later and start stimming when af comes. We will be very close. Lots of luck to you - oh pllllleeeeaaaaase let us get our BFPs!!!!!!!

Inky - you will be doing FET around the same time too! Lots of luck to you too. This is a lucky thread I can feel it!

Lou - I know it's so ridiculous how much some of these supplements cost! I'm not sure whether I got DH's fertilaid from this site or another one - I have lost the invoice. I think it was that one though but I can't remember the shipping - soz! I reckon if you are talking Zita West then that should be plenty. Don't want to overdose on anything as it might do more harm than good. Zita West is quite reputable. I sometimes suspect half these supplement things are a bit of a con anyway. I know what you mean about the price of ivf. I had ICSI last time and am a poor repsonder so need loads of drugs. That really pushed the price up and we ended up paying around 6 and a half thousand!!! It's sooooo expensive and broke the bank for us. Our next go is nhs funded but I'm really scared they'll pull the funding any day now. Good luck as you research clinics - I'm sure you'll find the right one for you and get that BFP soon.

Hiya to everyone else too xxxxx

 

[rachelle1975]

Hey ladies :wave:

Hope you are all keeping well.

God yes... the expense of all the vits etc. are ridiculous! The best bit is, it's made no blooming difference in the last few years he has been taking them so i feel bad when i keep harassing him to take them every evening!

Fluffy - my NHS clinic was a 3-6 month wait inbetween NHS cycle and they offer 2 free (although i was only in the 1 catchment zone). That compared to my private clinic who will let you cycle again if you've had no adverse issues and your mentally strong enough. I guess with the NHS it's all down to the waiting list to make sure everyone gets a go? We've waited 4 months from the start of our 1st cycle to the start of the 2nd -at the time it felt like a decent wait to get my head space but after a month i wished we were doing it sooner - then the start date came and i wanted to push it back!

Ladies.... for those of you who have started cycle 2 or who are just about to, how did you feel? My stress levels as far as the drugs (needle phobic) and the GA etc. are fine, i'm not worried at all but i took the early m/c so badly last time i'm freaking out about the end result and my reaction more than anything? Feel so dumb as i can't control the outcome and 'you've got to be in it to win it' and all that.....?? xx

 

[Inky2006]

Hey ladies :wave:

Hope you are all keeping well.

God yes... the expense of all the vits etc. are ridiculous! The best bit is, it's made no blooming difference in the last few years he has been taking them so i feel bad when i keep harassing him to take them every evening!

Fluffy - my NHS clinic was a 3-6 month wait inbetween NHS cycle and they offer 2 free (although i was only in the 1 catchment zone). That compared to my private clinic who will let you cycle again if you've had no adverse issues and your mentally strong enough. I guess with the NHS it's all down to the waiting list to make sure everyone gets a go? We've waited 4 months from the start of our 1st cycle to the start of the 2nd -at the time it felt like a decent wait to get my head space but after a month i wished we were doing it sooner - then the start date came and i wanted to push it back!

Ladies.... for those of you who have started cycle 2 or who are just about to, how did you feel? My stress levels as far as the drugs (needle phobic) and the GA etc. are fine, i'm not worried at all but i took the early m/c so badly last time i'm freaking out about the end result and my reaction more than anything? Feel so dumb as i can't control the outcome and 'you've got to be in it to win it' and all that.....?? xx

I feel like you Rachelle in terms of the end result. I'm abit 'what if' at the moment. I took my BFN badly too (hence starting this thread) To a certain extent am still worried that there is something wrong with me that may affect implantation. Like you I also wish I had had the next cycle sooner, but now (also like you) want to push it back abit, as abit scared. Once bitten twice shy (so the saying goes) and am nervous. But as you have so rightly said 'You've got to be in it to win it'.

I do remain hopeful but doubtful at the same time.

Silarose - good luck - will keep my fingers crossed for youxx

Hope everyone else okayxx

 

[rachelle1975]

Sometimes having a break from here is good, I think you need it to clear your headspace on occasion. I got fed up of the 'at least you know you can get pregnant' comments after the early m/c which wasn't exactly how I was feeling at all. I'm not mentioning the IVF in my diary so people don't ask too many questions.

Inky why do you think you might have implantation problems?x

 

[wishful think]

My best friend just told me that she is pregnant. They have been trying for 3 months!!!!! I'm happy but sad and jealous all rolled into one. My dh was very quiet when I told him the news. She said she was going to text me and tell me on New Year's Eve!! Thank God she didnt. I doubt I would have been able to hold it together. I think I have had enough of heartache and crying!!! When can it be our turn?????

 

[silarose28]

My best friend just told me that she is pregnant. They have been trying for 3 months!!!!! I'm happy but sad and jealous all rolled into one. My dh was very quiet when I told him the news. She said she was going to text me and tell me on New Year's Eve!! Thank God she didnt. I doubt I would have been able to hold it together. I think I have had enough of heartache and crying!!! When can it be our turn?????

Oh Wishful I know just how painful that is! It just seems so unfair that we have to wait for so long - but we will get there in the end! .

I find infertility socially isolating. I have to avoid pregnant people as I get so upset! I am dreading a friends bday in March. I will have to go out with a group of 4 friends - 2 of whom have been trying recently and I just know they will be making their announcements around then. I went out with them in March last year and all they talked about was babies so I cried for 2 days afterwards! I told my 2 closest friends from the group that I couldn't do that again so I think they will be supportive - but I still won't be able to stop newly pregnant people from celebrating and I can't bear it! I've stopped feeling guilty though. The way I see it is they are estatically happy and have lots of people to be happy with. I feel shit so they should understand if I am sensitive. I will of course smile and celebrate with them as I won't spoil their moment - but I will cry for ages afterwards. There are 2 pregnant girls in work and I just can't bring myself to talk to them about their bumps! They must think I am rude but do you know what I'm past caring! I need to go into self preservation mode. The fertile world doesn't 'get' how isolating this all is and it's horrible!!!!

Hope you feel better soon hone. Sending you lots of

 

[MissMonty]

Hey ladies - wishing you all a happy new year

I've been AWOL for a while so got some catching up to do - not been feeling great about our situation but tried to have a nice Christmas with family.

Gonna read through the posts now - thinking of you all

 

[MissMonty]

My best friend just told me that she is pregnant. They have been trying for 3 months!!!!! I'm happy but sad and jealous all rolled into one. My dh was very quiet when I told him the news. She said she was going to text me and tell me on New Year's Eve!! Thank God she didnt. I doubt I would have been able to hold it together. I think I have had enough of heartache and crying!!! When can it be our turn?????

Oh Wishful I know just how painful that is! It just seems so unfair that we have to wait for so long - but we will get there in the end! .

I find infertility socially isolating. I have to avoid pregnant people as I get so upset! I am dreading a friends bday in March. I will have to go out with a group of 4 friends - 2 of whom have been trying recently and I just know they will be making their announcements around then. I went out with them in March last year and all they talked about was babies so I cried for 2 days afterwards! I told my 2 closest friends from the group that I couldn't do that again so I think they will be supportive - but I still won't be able to stop newly pregnant people from celebrating and I can't bear it! I've stopped feeling guilty though. The way I see it is they are estatically happy and have lots of people to be happy with. I feel shit so they should understand if I am sensitive. I will of course smile and celebrate with them as I won't spoil their moment - but I will cry for ages afterwards. There are 2 pregnant girls in work and I just can't bring myself to talk to them about their bumps! They must think I am rude but do you know what I'm past caring! I need to go into self preservation mode. The fertile world doesn't 'get' how isolating this all is and it's horrible!!!!

Hope you feel better soon hone. Sending you lots of

Ladies I so now how you are feeling I know how sad and upset these situtations make me feel and I'm sorry that anyone has to feel this way

Friends of ours had their baby on boxing day, luckily we were away but we got the text messages, I felt sick when we got the message, their baby was early but very healthy which is great. This couple got preggers after they split up, they argue all the time and are so wrong for each other, yet they manage to get up the duff by accident it really does my head in thinking about it. I haven't seen them yet, I just can't deal with it at the moment, but have sent them a gift and card via DH - no thanks have come back as yet - wish I hadn't bothered now.

Also got 3 pregnant girls at work - it's all they talk about all day, they keep getting out their scan photos, they go out for lunch together and come back from town with baby stuff, showing it off to the office and then today I felt under pressure to put money into a collection for one of them who is going on maternity leave, I've spent thousands trying to get pregnant and now all I seem to do at the moment is buy gifts for friends who have just had babies or giving money to maternity leave collections As you said Silarose - they probably think I'm being rude as I just keep my head down and only talk to them if I have to but it's the only way I can get through the day - luckily I'm out on the road again from next week so I won't have to see them for a while.

Sorry for the rant but just wanted you all to know that no matter how isolated you feel there are people out there who understand

 

[silarose28]

Hiya Missmonty - I have actually been sent out to buy the bloody baby clothes for 1 lady having her second baby. I hardly even know her. A male colleague came over to me saying he wouldn't have a clue and just assumed I woudl do it! I felt llike screaming - but I was too paranoid to protest in case anyone noticed and guessed I was inferitle and not coping!!!! Arggh! I also went out ahopping with some friends last week and was dragged into a baby clothes shop where I spent ages as they picked out cute baby clothes. They had no idea that it just made feel like crying my eyes out. I was so looking forward to Xams after my BFP and being in that shop made it really hit hoome that all my hopes had been dashed and actually nobody gets it - I feel like to them it's just like a late period I should be over by now!!!! I'm probably being oversensitive but I can't help it!

I am having a right old moan on different threads tonight. Need to get it out of my system though. My friend and I were laughing about how infertility has not only made us mad - but also really wrinkly with all the frowning lol!

 

[wishful think]

Having a really terrible day. Cant stop crying. Am just fed up with everything. After my friend told me yesterday that she is pregnant, my sister told me this morning that she just had a miscarriage on New Year's Eve. I feel bad for her and i do know what it feels like as i went through it in july '09. I feel bad for thinking this and even typing this but I just cant believe she was pregnant again, she has a 7 month old little baby boy. And all i could think about was myself. How selfish am I??? I just kept thinking well that means she has been trying and no doubt she will be pregnant again soon and i just cant deal with another pregnant person right now. I feel so bad for even typing this and i'm actually in floods of tears here but the pain and heartache of this infertility just seems never ending.

To add to it all my clinic told me today that my 2nd round of icsi is up in the air until i get my af (this month and then next month). It's late and now the nurse put the thought into my head that i might be pregnant. But i know i'm not but u know how the story goes -u get a glimmer of hope and u want so much for it to be true that u start to have thoughts that maybe it is going to be true. But i know when i do a test in the morning my heart will break again even though there is no way i could get pregnant naturally.

I feel so ashamed for feeling this jealousy towards my sister but i just cant help it. I wouldnt wish the pain of a miscarriage on anyone and i feel so selfish. Infertility has drove me to be this person. I was never this way before. I hate being like this. I just want to be happy again and to have just even one day to not even think about getting pregnant!!! I cant talk to my dh about this as i dont want to upset him. All i seem to do is talk about vitamins, tests, clinics, appointments, ivf. If i was him i would hate to be married to me. I'm sorry girls, i'm just not dealing with all of this very well today.

 

[wishful think]

After the worst night last night i got up this morning and did a pregnancy test cause my af is a week late after my failed ICSI. I got a BFP. I'm in total shock!!! I just cant believe this. Like i have 2 blocked tubes. Maybe the failed ivf cleared one. I really dont know what to think. I did a ditigal test and it said i'm 3-4 weeks pregnant. Could it be wrong??? What the hell???? Oh my god, i'm actually afraid to get excited!!!!!
After my last post to this post my head is spinning!!!! Please let this be real!!!!

 

[Helen76]

Wishful that is amazing, congratulations!!!!!

It really gives us all hope, you lucky b*gg*r lol!!!

Wishing you an incredibly happy and healthy 9 months.

Hopefuly see you in the Pregnancy forums before too long!

H xx

 

[wishful think]

Wishful that is amazing, congratulations!!!!!

It really gives us all hope, you lucky b*gg*r lol!!!

Wishing you an incredibly happy and healthy 9 months.

Hopefuly see you in the Pregnancy forums before too long!

H xx

Oh Helenttc I hope so!!! If it is really in there, it's a miracle baby for sure

 

[angiemon]

Wishful that is amazing. I'm nearly crying in happiness for you. I think I told you ages ok, you have a lucky name!!
I'm so happy for you, hope you have a happy and healthy 9 months.

Ps I an crying now xxxx

 

[fluffystar]

OMG That is amazing wishful, im in tears too! A real little miracle, there is hope for us all. So pleased for you x