Support Group failed IVF/ICSI IUI or any failed assisted conceptions 2014

[Lolly1985]

Here here Inky!!

A very merry Christmas to all my B'n'B friends! Here's to 2011!

Love to you all, Lolly xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Inky2006]

Thanks Lolly 'sweetie'xxx

Merry Christmas to all!!xx

 

[Lou32]

Hi everyone - Hope you don't mind me gatecrashing your thread either. What a time too. We just went through our first icsi which failed. AF arrived three days before test day, hence the BFN. Apart from pretty low fertilisation (only four out of nine fertilised), we ended up with perfect embies. They would only let us put one back in, which was perfect quality, and told us it was best to get the other three to blast before freezing, but unfortunately they didn 't make it, so no FET for us. It's difficult to get your head around when you're told the embryos are of such good quality they can't risk putting two in as there's a good chance of twins, then it doesn't work at all. Our main problem is MF (low motility), so not I can't stop wondering if it's something to do with me too...
I have a million questions, but we can't get an appointment until early Feb and we have to save up to pay for our next icsi now. So far the nurse just told us we were a victim of statistics, which is no comfort!
Do any of you know if the hospital offers any further tests etc after the first BFN? I never even got my tubes checked as they moved us straight to icsi when the SA came back and I know fluid-filled tubes can stop implantation. Don't know if I'm clutching at straws though...
I too haven't really left the couch since we found out and pretty much avoided family and friends. Two of my closest friends are pregnant, as well as my little sister, so it's pretty tough. Actually can't wait until Christmas is over...
Sorry to be such a misery guts, especially at Christmas! I suppose I knew this could happen, but I just didn't think it would happen to us as everyone told us we had such a good prognosis. So much for that!
Hope you all have nice Christmas and that our luck turns around in 2011.
x

 

[Inky2006]

Hi Lou

I am in a very similar situation to you Lou. In September they only put one embie back in me too because of the risk of twins. Was so annoyed at this. It seems its a national policy to prevent twins. I think it just prevents pregnancy. I was speaking to fertility nurse about this and she said that there is actually some evidence to suggest that one embroyos supports another so it is actually better to put two or more back. We also have male factor and unfortuantely I think its just one of those things that it didn't work. Some embroyos may look perfect under the mircoscope but may not be able to develope beyond day 3. I was and am like you, I wonder if there is something wrong with me also. We were also told we have a good prognosis. I am going to have next treatment and if that doesn't work I will have some tests.

I am really surprised they did not freeze your embroyos day three. This is what happened to my embroyos.

Anyway, sorry to hear you have to wait until Feb. I also had a long wait to followup. May be you could get a cancellation. Like you I felt I needed to be able to discuss what went wrong with treatment.

Like you I have avoided friends and family for months. I'll go if I really have to but can't put myself through it at the moment. Hope your christmas isn't too bad. I think we're all hoping for a happier 2011.

Anyway, happy christmasxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Helen76]

Hey Lou,

Just saw your message and wanted to send you big

Hopefully Inky will have been able to provide some practical comfort, I've only had IVF not ICSI but this time I had 2 perfect embryos and neither of them took. I still don't get it. A victim of statistics isn't much comfort.

During my latest attempt they found that one of my tubes was filled with fluid but they didn't say anything about it impacting on implantation. I'm going back for my follow up at the end of Jan, if I find out any more about that I'll let you know.

Anyway I hope you manage to enjoy Xmas in some way, we'll all be thinking of you.

H xx

 

[Inky2006]

I can't believe this but its christmas day and I'm on here. How sad am I? I'm going off to relatives soon. have an absolutely blinding hangover. It did me good actually to go abit mad. Anyway, hope everyone is okay.

I hope santa brought everyone some nice pressies. I hope those of you who have a rough time of it lately can try and have a nice day. Try and forget about it for abit. I send you all a

Good bye for now ' Merry Christmas' .xxxx

 

[silarose28]

Hiya everyone

Angiemon and Lou32 - welcome and sending you

Angiemon - Hope your feeling a bit better by now. I know what you mean about work - After my miscarriage I needed to go to stay sane but when I was there I felt like I was really struggling! Good luck with your FET.

Helen - my body will also be a temple after the new year!!!

Lou32 - I know what you mean about everyone being preggars. It's doing my head in! Try for a cancellation before Feb - I managed to get one which brought a consultation forward at my hospital so it may well be a possibility.

Happy Xmas Inky - glad you have let your hair down. I've also had a few drinks and had some fun!

And happy Xmas/ new year to everyone on here - let's hope next year will be our year.:

I am gearing myself up for my next cycle. Have started taking the pill as af showed last week - right on time! On a different point - I actually had a distant relative ask me how old I was (37) and whether I was going to have children over the Xmas dinner table. There was an awkward silence before my aunt (who knows I am having IVF) said 'Oh well there's plenty of time for that!' Who does he think he is asking very personal questions likethat?!!! I am obviously not pregnant so I either don't want kids or can't - STUPID QUESTION ARGH! Sorry - feels good to let off steam.

hugs to everyone xxxxxx

 

[Lolly1985]

Hi Everyone!


Hi to Angiemon and Lou, welcome but on the other hand i'm sorry that you have had to join this thread. I hope you holding up ok Angiemon, I wish you lots of luck with your FET. I hope you can take some comfort in the fact you have some frosties. And I do hope you maneged to enjoy your christmas.

Lou i'm sorry to hear the way that things turned out for you. Its a struggle to understand their reasoning sometimes. That must be hard to take and i send you lots of love. Only two of my embies made it to ET so they put both back in. With two and my age (25), people drilled it in to me that it basically couldn't fail, so when it did it hit me very hard. So with no frosties we are hoping to start our second cycle in march.

Hi to you all, Inky, Helen, Sila and everyone else!! I hope you had lovely christmas's. Mine was about the same as this whole year, a disaster!!! Sorry to feel sorry for myself but on christmas day we had to call an ambulance for my mum who ended up vomiting blood and on a drip with suspected pneumonia!! Luckily turned out to only be a bad virus but she was so ill she couldn't walk and scared the life out of us all!!

She is on the mend now but leaving thursday and I can already feel myself getting down, trying hard to stay positive! I keep thinking roll on 2011, I want to forget this year and start again! But its not all bad, I have found myself enjoying many drinkie-poohs over xmas and got lots of lovely pressies from my darling OH!!

Think i'd probably better get myself off to bed but send you all loads of love, Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[silarose28]

Hi Lolly

Your poor Mum! Glad she is on the mend.

I too am trying hard to be positive. This year will be our year I can just feel it!

 

[Lou32]

Thanks everyone for your kind words. I'm away at in laws for a few days so on my phone. It's really tough as even though everyone knows the ivf failed, everyone is acting like it never happened and that all's fine, whereas I just can't move on. It's really upsetting me how little importance MIL puts on it. She thinks it's no big deal and that it will happen eventually. It's not that easy to explain that with no swimmers it can't! I'd also heard there was evidence that two embryos supported each other, which is why I was so annoyed.Also upset we didn't freeze spares on day 3, but we followed their advice. I'm not sure an earlier appt would do much good anyway as we can't afford to go again until summer, unless we win the lottery! That's really getting me down too. Sorry to be such a misery still! Hope you all had a nice Christmas x

 

[Helen76]

Sorry to hear about your Mum Lolly hope she's much better now.

Silarose - some people can be insensitive. I've had plenty of people telling me I should get a move on - I would LOVE to!!!!

Louise - I think people generally don't understand IVF and don't know how to handle it. They might be thinking they are helping you by not talking about it. I'm also so sorry that funding is an issue, it makes me mad that not everyone gets 3 funded attempts. If I win the lottery I'll send some your way

H xx

 

[Lolly1985]

Hello Ladies

Thank you for your kind words about my mum, she is doing lots better, really sad she is going so soon though. My brother left today and I ended up a sniffling wreck!! (thanks zolodex!) Don't think he quite knew what to do so punched me on the arm!!

Hope you are all holding up ok and looking forward to your new year plans.

Lou i'm sorry you are having a tough time. I wonder if its that she doesn't quite know what to say so she is keeping quiet. I know that my MIL had too much to say during my 2ww, it can't fail, taking baby clothes and names etc, I kept telling her not to talk like that but she was so sure it would work. Anyway when it did fail I think she was so shocked that she's kept quiet ever since. I thought the same, that she didn't care etc. But turns out she kept speaking with my OH about how I was and what to do/say. He had told her to carry on as normal so I didn't get reminded (as if I could forget) and be upset. So basically what i'm saying is lots of people struggle to find the right words and so say nothing. Also maybe because the main factor with your infertility is to do with her son, maybe that may play a small part? Or maybe i'm reading too much into it. I do hope you are ok though and send you

Love to everyone, Lolly xxxxxxxx

 

[Lou32]

I probably am being a bit unfair, but I think it's a combination of things. Her age is one (she doesn't understand ivf and doesn't really want to) and she had kids in her mid 30s so doesn't see the rush.She doesn't know the cause of our infertility and I'm pretty sure she thinks it's me,so I think she sees it as my problem. I think she needs to know but OH doesn't want her to. I just think she might view it differently... Also,when the ivf failed I got so upset we wouldn't be able to afford to go again and my family offered to help where they can. She made it clear she won't be helping. I don't expect money from anyone and I'd rather we saved ourselves, but it hurt when she said that.

 

[fluffystar]

Hi Ladies,

I have been reading for a while since our IVF cycle failed mid dec and its so sad to see lots of familiar names that I have been talking to on various threads.

I just wanted to say hi and hope that you all got through the christmas period ok. It really sucks getting a BFP just at the time that you are meant to be all happy and emmersing yourself in visiting and visitors when all you want to do is retreat and resettle yourself.

love and babydust
fluffy xx

 

[Inky2006]

Hello everyone

Lolly - just to say I'm so sorry about your mum. There are so many virus's going around I know a few people that have been ill over christmas. Glad to hear shes on the mend and sorry to for the stress you had to go through, it must of been awful!!!! Good that that you got some nice pressies. Hope you have a better new yearxx

Lou - just to say as in a similar situation to you. I think the others are right people do not understand IVF. They don't know what to say and whatsmore don't understand it. MIL's can be a pain in the butt. I think maybe if she knew it was your hubby it might change her view point. But I guess if she is of a generation and not very understanding then she might not! It must be difficult! I'm sorry to hear that you have to pay for next round. My PCT have also gone into financial melt down and now we have to pay. Actually still awaiting a final decision. So I know how you feel. I know some people go into egg sharing schemes to decrease the cost, but know this is not for everyone. I have been in your situation and I have felt that I am in limbo until the next treatment. also waited 2 months for followup which I found very frustrating, so I hope you can get a cancellation. It might help you. Your situation almost mirrors my own - so can relate to alot of what you say, hope you have a much better new yearxx


Helen - Hope you had a nice christmas with your inlaws and your family. Really hope you get your BFP in the new year.xx

Silarose - pleased that you are now starting treatment. YAY. Am praying for you!xx

Fluffy- Sorry to hear your cycle failed mid Dec. I have seen you on other threads. Sorry you also have to been here. Lets hope get that BFP in the new year.xx

Miss Monty - not long now until your results. I hope you have managed to have a nice chrtistmas with your family. xx

Wishful - good luck in the new year.xx

Tori - you have not been on here for a while. Hope you are okayxx


As for me christmas was okay, but boxing day I felt very emotional. We went to my inlaws and my niece was there. She is 2.5 years old now and is chatty and giggly and very adorable. I love her to bits but just seeing her with my inlaws made me so so sad. I just felt that we should have our children there and felt left out again. Also, my MIL was taking about my husbands cousin who had just had a baby. This baby was born on my birthday in november so the day was very emotive. I got home and cried my eyes out.

My husband just doesn't know what to do when I'm like that, he doesn't show he is sad but goes into a sort of denial. I think with male factor its a real dent in the male ego. he did say somethng nice and that was that his parents are getting into practise for when we have our children. He also said the reason he doesn't get sad is because he is positive it will work. Anyway, I feel alot better now. New years eve celebrations is strictly a friends affair so will be better.

I really hope I havne't missed anyone out - but if I have good luck for the new yearxx

Anyway, lets all hope we all have a much much better new year.xxxxxx By the way this is how I feel after christmas (as bloated and fat as)

 

[angiemon]

Hi everyone,

Thanks for your kind words, sounds like its been a tough christmas for everyone!!

Lolly-im glad your mum is okay now, must have been very scary. good shes now on the mend....
wishful-yes your right, its hard to take at the beginning,really think its worked and then dont really want to see anyone and noone really understands...Feb will be here before you know it...
Inky and Lou-I hadnt heard that one embie can support another, I was strongly recommended to transfer 1 as it was they said an "unusually good quality" so risk of twins would be far too much, its so hard when that 1 great one doesnt work, you wonder if it is ever gonna work if the great one doesnt. Hopefully ill get some answers from fs on our follow -up on 17 jan so ill let you know if i find anything useful.
Silarose-i know what you mean about family, quite alot of my family were down the pub on monday with my cousins 4wk old who i was giving a cuddle to many comments of "it suits you", and lots of nudges and winks to my OH. little do they know!!
helen-i was thinking about the total fertility tabs that Blue mentioned. My clinic seems a bit flippant on things to do or not too do, think they're so busy! And my dh had to have a bit of encouragment with the vits but they really helped, he did also give up smoking and his sa has massively improved. but as were having FET, not sure if he needs to worry about vits at the moment, hes def gonna keep off the ciggies though..

We've started to think of naturally getting pregnant, havent really thought about that since ICSI was first mentioned. ITs funny how you get so wrapped up with IVF you forget that there is still a chance of natural preg. or is that just me??

Missmonty-when do you get your test results back? Could be something really simple finger crossed!!

Sure i havent mentioned everyone but thinking of you all. Heres to a happy new year and a great 2011!!!

xxx

 

[Inky2006]

Angiemon

I missed you in my spiel. So sorry . Just to say, myself and my husband do try naturally and always keep hoping. I think thats the best thing to do.

Hope you get some answers on the 17th Jan anyway. Hopefully you'll be having FET soon tooxx

 

[Helen76]

Hey everyone, how are we all doing?

Lolly - great that your mum is on the mend. Sounds like your brother is as good with emotions as most men lol.

Lou - MIL ouch! She sounds a charmer, I bet she would change her mind if she knew it was her son with the problem but understand you can't tell her that. Tough one. We're here if you need to let off steam.

Fluffy - we were the unlucky ones on what was a lucky November thread, so sorry you're joining me here.

Angie - keep going with the getting pregnant naturally, it only takes one sperm and one egg (if only it were that easy.....) I've been looking at the vits Blue talked about but £180 for a 3 month supply DH suggested we talk to the clinic first and that is before I tell him the cost!

Silarose - good luck with the treatment, lets hope you can be an early graduate from this thread

Inky - I'm loving the graphic, I'm like that too! Sorry you've had a rough time and your 2.5 yr old niece will no doubt be all smiley and nice with you but I'm sure it's a different story at home with the terrible twos! We all have that to come.....

Miss Monty - good luck with the tests

My Sillygirls if you're reading this hope your treatment is going well.

Wishful and Tory and anyone else :wave:

Back to work for me tomorrow - boo hoo!

H xx

 

[wishful think]

Hi everyone,



We've started to think of naturally getting pregnant, havent really thought about that since ICSI was first mentioned. ITs funny how you get so wrapped up with IVF you forget that there is still a chance of natural preg. or is that just me??



xxx

Hey angiemon, that's great that u still have a chance naturally. I would love that but it's not going to happen that way for me (blocked tubes and dh has low and slow count so even if one little bugger could swim my tubes decided they wanted to build internal walls). It's a good feeling when u still have natural hope!! Keep the chin up xxx

 

[Lolly1985]

Helloooooo lovely ladies!!

I'm sorry that I don't have time to post much, gotta rush to adsa to sort out some bits for the cat before heading off out tonight. Honestly he's eating me outta house and home! And i've decided not to tell you about the little present he left on my kitchen floor today....

Anyways I wanted to wish you all a very Happy New Year. I'm so happy that 2010 is nearly over! Hated it and can't wait to start again, hopefully happier and more positive no matter what 2011 brings.

Many of you may have already seen this, I found it on another girls signature on this site (while being my usual nosey self!) Anyway I love it and even if you have seen it, read it again and believe it..... 'It's ok to feel down, it doesn't mean you're weak, it means you've been strong for way too long! But when you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long!'

Happy New Year to you all!

Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxx