Support Group failed IVF/ICSI IUI or any failed assisted conceptions 2014

[_Nell]

Hi all, well after 2 IVF fails I too am contemplating immunes testing. I bought Dr berrs 'is your body baby friendly' and the flat answer seems to be 'no'. The issues of poor fertilization, poor embryo quality, unresponsive lining, an ivf chemical pg, POF, endo and raynauds disease - all of which I have! - are linked to immunes problems. urgh!

Unfortunately my clinic don't support it (they don't even do blood monitoring which i think i need!) and i'm a bit lost on where to start/ go. I put a new thread up but got no response. I know the ARGC do but I here they're crazy expensive and I just don't like the sound of them as a clinic tbh. I'm torn because I really don't want to wait and hang around testing, especially as if we find anything i'm not too sure i'm keen to go ahead with IVig (or whatever it is!) treatment, I really just want to get on with IVF 3. Is it wreckless from what i've written I have to just give it a bash and hope for the best?

Lou32 - I'm pleased you had a better consult with a clearer plan and can really relate to your feelings on holiday - me too. Can I ask what exactly does your £2.5k of immunes test for? I'm bamboozled by it all tbh, I don't think we have a Care clinic down south.

Lolly - I have everything crossed that this will be your BFP cycle. Cycle 3 for us is also our last, unfortunately my DH won't consider adoption though.

 

[Lou32]

Hi Nell - Just posted a huge post on your immune thread. I'm confused by it all too TBH.

 

[babywishes83]

Hi ladies, I found this on another thread and thought it was lovely...
What do I think is meant by my infertility?

I think it is so my partner and I grow closer, become stronger, love deeper. I think we are meant to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up every time infertility knocks us down. I think it is meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, create procedures and protocols. I think it is meant for us to find a cure for infertility.

No, it is not that we are never meant for to not have children. That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I'm on. I've been placed on the road less travelled, and, like it or not, I'm a better person for it. Clearly, I am meant to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution, and I haven't let myself down.

Frankly, if the truth be known, I think I have been singled out for a special treatment. I think I am meant to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known.

While I would never choose infertility, I cannot deny that a fertile woman could never know the joy that awaits me. Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own. And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice I'll say, "Don't tell me why I have been handed infertility. I already know."

Lolly xxxxxxx

Hi Lolly i'm new to this forum and have just read your post I also think this is lovely, I'm 28 and my dh is the same age. We have been trying for two years with no success we have just yesterday finished our first round of IVF/ICSI which resulted in a BFN.I have been so devastated. I tested last Friday with an EPT which resulted in a BFN and I just new from there it hadn't happened. I also had severe OHSS.

I should have mentioned we transferred 1 5day AAA blastocyst. (I just don't know what went wrong

We were diagnosed with unexplained infertility.

bye for now

 

[pk2of8]

Babywishes83, I'm so sorry you're havingto go through this. It is devastating. There really aren't words that can make it better. But we're here and we understand what you're going through, and we're here for you. Sending you lots of

Well I was able to get my WTF appt moved up...going tomorrow!! Dh and I have been talking a lot and I think we've worked out a plan to try again financially. God-willing it will all work out!! If not, then I'm going to be devastated all over again. ugh. I hope everyone else has been doing well

 

[Lolly1985]

So sorry Babywishes. It's the worst feeling in the world. All I can do is offer my sympathies and to say that we know how you are feeling, you are not alone. I know it doesn't make it any easier right now but talking to others who share your feelings can help sometimes.

It must be extra hard having had such a perfect embie. I again share that, my last embie was perfect and it fills you with hope. especially when all the nurses are raving about how good it all is Why build up hopes to take them away. i almost wish I hadn't have known.

Unexplained must be hard. At least I knwo what i'm dealing with. I hope and pray that you find the strength to move forwards and try again. How are you feeling after the OHSS? I had it mildly last cyckle and felth pretty rubbish so you must really have suffered I hope you are being kind to yourself

Hi PK, Glad to hear you have a plan. When do you think you will be trying again?

Hi Lou, how are you feeling hun? I saw your post about metformin on another thread. Just wanted to share that at my clinic that prescription is standard for people with PCO/S, I have 500mg twice daily. Push for it. Take care of yourself.

I have EC Friday, nearly 50 follies Feeling pretty awful! I hope for some good eggs but from past experience many of my follies are empty I just don't know what to think, wish me luck. Triggering in 1hr 24mins... not that i'm counting

Love to everyone, Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Lou32]

Good luck Lolly. God, I hate doing the trigger! I sit there staring at the clock until the time comes round. And you really don't know what you're going to get. One thing I learned from our second go was that each cycle is completely different. On my first they hardly got any eggs from one of my ovaries, but the second cycle they got loads from both. It's a lottery!
But blimey, 50 follicles is a lot! You must be feeling pretty bloated.

And re Metformin - yup, will be pushing big time for it. It seems like all ladies with PCO are given it, so pretty confused as to why I haven't.

Good luck for Friday!!!!

Babywishes - I'm so sorry to hear about your BFN. Unfortunately, we all know how it feels on here. It's upsetting, painful and it takes time to move on. Certainly after the first BFN everyone says that was the practice run, so fingers crossed you'll get lucky your second go. Agree with Lolly though that unexplained must be hard. I don't buy it when doctors say that - it's just that they haven't found the cause yet and hopefully they will have learned things from your cycle to help with the next. After my first BFN I just focused on getting healthier and more prepared for my second. Take care x

 

[Lou32]

Well, we've been to Care this aft for our bloods taking for the immune tests and OH's sperm DNA test. They took 17 vials of blood from me!!! (and £2.5k unfortunately).I felt OK after, just a bit tired. Poor OH had to lay down for his four vials taking. Honestly....
Anyway, turns out Mr Patel, the immune doc, is on long term sick until after Christmas so we'll have to have the follow-up with a different consultant. Knocked me a bit as I wanted it with him. Fingers crossed they're all as good as each other.
Hope everyone doing well.
Lolly - not heard from you in a while but I'm thinking you must be on the 2WW now? Really hoping everything's going well for you.
Hi to everyone else and please God let us all graduate from this thread soon!!!!!!

 

[Lolly1985]

Hi Lou

17?!!! Crikey!! You must have been there a while! Poor DH God, don't they know how easy they really have it?!!

I'm sorry to hear that you won't get to see your preferred doc, but sure that you will get someone equally as I also hope that they actually find something. While I don't wish you ill health at all sometimes a reason (and a solution that will fix things) can be a very positive step forward.

Yep, 2ww has begun, again 2 embies transferred today on day 3. Sadly no frosties, we seem to have a tendency for fast growing embryos, which my clinic see as 'abnormal' so many discarded today I hear ya sister We need to start our success thread!! Please god, let my twinnies stick

Love Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[pk2of8]

Lou I can relate hun!! I had my followup appt with my RE last week. I can't remember if I told you girls we were able to get it moved up. I talked to the doc about the immunity testing and he agreed to it. I just went this afternoon to the lab...21 vials they took!!!!! And my dh is like yours...gets all faint over just a couple, so it's good he wasn't there! Lol. it is nice to feel like you're getting things moving in the right direction though (we hope) , isn't it?

Lolly, I'm praying your little embies stick like glue sweetie!!

I had a GREAT followup appt with my RE. Got tons of info and decided we will cycle again in Jan. I've just started a new journal and I'm going to post the info there, but I can copy it here too if you girls would prefer that. (it's not in my journal yet)

 

[KittyCat82]

Babywishes-we are also unexplained. First failed IVF in Sep. Still pretty gutted. Time does help though. I just panic that if they dont know what is wrong how can they fix it? I know its better that we havent found something seriously wrong and our chances are still pretty good.

We were told only to consider further testing after 2 failed as it is still quite cutting edge etc and the cost just doesnt justify it right now. We are told to take the attitude that it was just unlucky the first time.

I am fed up of being unlucky!! x

 

[Lou32]

Hi KittyCat - Sorry to hear about your BFN. I'm inclined to agree that the first go is difficult to predict, so you're proabably best seeing how your second cycle goes before you think about testing. I know some ladies wait until their third, but the uncertainty is driving me mad.
Rang today to try and switch our follow-up to a different consultant, one who specialises in PCO or MF, but they're both booked up til after Christmas. Not happy about that. Think I might have to keep trying for a cancellation. I really like Care, but I'm a bit annoyed by how difficult it is to get an appointment, esp considering how much we're paying out for these tests...

 

[angiemon]

Hi Girls,
I haven't been on here for a while but i have been browsing and just wanted to say hello
Lou - how are you? Sorry things haven't gone well, it sucks doesn't it. I'm sorry your holiday was affected by your mood, I know what you mean, its so difficult to not think about it when there are families everywhere. We went away too and there was a pregnant couple with her lovely bump in her bikini, i didnt even mention it to dp but it upset me everytime i saw her. I felt really bad, I didn't even know her..not to mention all the little toddlers around. I drunk to try and forget but then felt bad because i shouldn't be drinking so close to treatment!!! Anyway one day we will be on holidays with our babies and then this will all be forgotten!!!


Have you had any joy with immunes? I did ask in my follow up but my fs didn't seem to think there was any point but she also said that our pct doesn;t support it so they can't recommend anything our pct doesn't pay for, even if we want to pay the extra bits ourselves so its kind of made me think that we may have got second rate treatment according to what our pct pays for!!! Well we've got 2 frozen embies left and if that doesn't work, then we will be going private. Was going to wait for our next cycle but now im due on, I think we will try straightaway. Its been 3 months since our fresh so we're going to be on the train again soon!!!! At least the frozen cycle isn't as bad although the 2ww is awful no matter what way you look at it...

Lolly - how are you? I have been looking for you on some forums to see how your cycle is going? I so hope this is it for you and you won't be posting anything on this thread again. Im really praying for you xxxxx

Hi to all the other ladies, sorry that you have had to post on this thread but I hope you have had some support from it and it has helped you get through these s**t times, knowing that we are not alone because I know how lonely it feels. Big to all of you brave, brave ladies

love ange
xxxx

 

[Ann27]

Hello all! I've not been here for a few weeks. I had to withdraw myself from the world for a little while as I was so maddeningly angry and devastatingly sad all the time. Having to come to terms with involuntary childlessness is the hardest thing I've ever had to do... However, it's been "good" (although that's probably not the best word) to read through this thread again and just knowing that all of us are not alone in this awful situation.

I empathised particularly with some of Lolly's and Lou's posts. And I am curious to find out about all this testing that seems to be on offer at some clinics. We were never advised on any of this and I feel again - as I have done so often during this process - that I am having to find out a lot of this by myself rather than getting competent doctors' advice. Immune and DNA compatibility tests...?! I have come to the point that I would actually simply like to know WHY all of this is happening (or rather NOT happening as the case may be). For example, I know that I am rhesus negative and we think (!) that my partner is positive, so after my first miscarriage I was given a double D injection and I can't help wondering whether that has somehow had some adverse effect. I guess I'll never know...

In any case, we very much feel like we've come to the end of the line - in terms of age and finances (just can't afford the 4k+ for any more treatment as we only get one IVF cycle on NHS in our area). We started to research adoption 2 years ago and will now pursue this route. It is indeed very scary in a lot of ways but I do think it could turn out to be the most rewarding thing we'll ever have done - provided we get through all THOSE hoops first of course. The most awful thought to me would be never to have a family at all and I'm glad that my partner agrees with me. I don't know what I would do if we had completely opposing ideas about this. That must be so hard. Nevertheless, I do feel that partners sometimes agree to things in order to make us happy. Unfortunately - or maybe luckily - there is a big difference in how men and women feel about and handle these things.

Hm. Sorry, didn't intend to post another book on here.

All the best to all of you and good luck to Lolly in particular!
X

 

[Lolly1985]

Hi ladies

Ann and Angie, nice, but not nice to see you back if you know what I mean

Angie, i'm glad to hear that you have 2 lovely frosties waiting for you. Have you ever had FET before. I hope that as your body doesn't have to go through the same process that it will be stronger and you get a good result this time

I'm really sorry about the holiday, I would have felt just the same. I know its on hols but its almost like flaunting it in your face

Do you think you would ever look into immunes? People have asked me but I just don't know, there is so much out there I wouldn't know where to start. This journey is so hard, I want to get off!!

I hope that you are recovering well after your sadly failed cycle, and understand the need to press forward. Its so much better knowing you are being proactive.

Anne, your post choked me up. I'm so sorry that you have come to the end of your TTC journey. But you are starting a new one, and i'm sure that it is on this path that you will find your dream I may be following you soon if this cycle doesn't work so it will be nice to have a buddy As with you my clinic has never discussed other tests. It is only from here that I know what I do. They always just said that it was sadly one of those things. I often wonder if I was a private healthcare patient whether it would be different So happy to hear DH is on board, you are very lucky as I know some of the girls partners struggle, and to be honest for a long time my DP did with the whole 'adoption' chat. thank goodness he came round.

Well I am 8dp3dt and I have never got this far without bleeding before so I am thankful that my body is trying. I don't want false hope though so am trying to be realistic. Each trip to the bathroom I am expecting blood, to be honest I'm going slightly crazy with it I have had some af cramps on and off and again have heard that this can be both a good and bad sign I guess what will be will be. I still can't ever imagine this ending with a positive result. I think I have protected myself so much over the years that its just not an option in my head But at the same time I would love it to be.

Lou, how are you sweetie? Ok I hope. Hi to everyone and know that none of you are alone on this journey

Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Ann27]

I keep all my fingers crossed for you, Lolly! I know exactly what you mean with the bathroom runs - dreading to go, yet hoping every time... I'm sure it doesn't help that it's so hard to relax. So, do look after yourself and try to enjoy whatever else is going on in your life!
Hugs & kisses

 

[Lou32]

Lolly - So glad you're still hanging in there! I know how torturous it is, but I'm so hopeful for you that you've gone further than before.
Angie - We're waiting for our immune results now. They cost us £2.5K in total. We don't have that money, but I know I'd go out of my mind if we didn't do it as I need to know we've left every stone unturned. OH is facing possible redundancy at the moment, which is awful, as I've no idea how we would afford our next IVF. I'm just praying all goes OK.
Love to everyone and good luck with your treatments.
xxx

 

[Wallie]

Good luck Lolly!

Hi to everyone else

 

[Springflower]

Hi Ladies

I hope you dont mind me posting here. I used to post ages ago but got out the habit. I've had 3 failed cycles (and a half if you count one which I cancelled due to poor response). I just wanted to say that if you think there is something else wrong, go with your gut. I knew something wasnt right after my 2nd cycled but my clinic kept insisting that it was bad luck. I ended up having a 3rd cycle and then thought enough was enough. My clinic were pushing me to continue. In the back of my mind I'd always been worried about immunes so had started to look into that. I'd mentioned it to the clinic but they werent really interested. To keep me quiet they gave me lose dose immune meds, of course they didnt work. I went ahead found a different clinic and had pretty much every immune test out there. I had huge problems and was never going to get pregnant naturally or with ivf. My next cycle (not counting the one I cancelled with poor response) I feel pregnant with twins. Of course this could just be a fluke and I know many people dont believe in immunes.

Anyway I had got to the point where I wanted answers. I dont want to come across as pushing for immunes, it's not for most ppl, but I just wanted to say if you feel something isnt right etc look into it a bit more. You know your body much more than the dr's. Please dont be afraid to do that.

Good luck ladies, you are all so determined I know you will get there

 

[Lolly1985]

Hello ladies

I want to thank you all for your lovely wishes and for thinking of me. Still hanging in there but taking it one day at a time.

Lou, I hope that you are not kept waiting too much longer. Have you any idea of when they may come in? I think you have done the right thing for you, like you say, you would have gone mad thinking what if and not following you heart. I hope that something does actually show up, but nothing serious, something that may give you answers and can be sorted for your next cycle. All my love.

Ann and Wallie, I hope you are both soldering on,and we always do. Thank you again for your well wishes

Sopringflower, thank you for sharing your story. Its so lovely that you got your happy ending and I wish you all the best for you and your twinnies

 

[Azreal]

Hello to all
Haven't posted for awhile but have been keeping track of what has been going on and have kept my fingers crossed for Lolly.
We're having our 5th and probably final IVF in December so just waiting for the days to pass until that happens - which is why I haven't posted in some time.
Hope you are all taking care of yourselves xxx