Support Group failed IVF/ICSI IUI or any failed assisted conceptions 2014

[Helen76]

No I don't think you're over reacting Silarose. I still get upset about mine.

H xx

 

[wishful think]

Hi everyone, thanks for all your kind words.

Silarose I had a natural early miss in July '09 and I dont think I grieved enough at the time cause I just got up, dusted myself off and got back to ttc. If I had of known then that that was my last shot of it happening naturally I might have grieved properly. Just over a year later i found out that both my tubes were blocked and i dont know how it even happened. So I think u need to take your time to grieve your loss for what might have been xxxx

To everyone else thank u for your support. My af started today so my little embryo is defo gone. Was hoping it was a little fighter and the hpt was wrong but no, my little bean is gone I'm just gonna have to pull myself together and look to the future. I will be speaking to my fertility specialist tomorrow so if u have any advice on the questions i can ask him i would grately appreciate it. I have written a few down already but i know my head isn't thinking as clearly as usual.

xxxx

 

[Inky2006]

Ahh Wishful. When you see FS you can ask him things like 'can you expect your cycle to return to normal'? Is there any different fertility drugs they can give you to produce a different response (apparently different drugs can actually affect the quality of the eggs- this is what I have read anyway) mmmm what else, be prepared to be emotional. Anyway, so sorry about what you have been through. It takes time to get over it. I am fine now, but back in September I cried for days. My mum was so worried about me. If you think it might help you ask to speak to the counsellor. I did. Emotionally this time is very raw, and unfortunately you will still be feeling the effects of the fertility drugs too.
Anyway, do take care, chin up and keep going. The same goes for everyone.

We will all get there and it will be worth it in the end.xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[MissMonty]

Hi ladies - I'm not very good with keeping up with all the posts and go through stages of posting so please forgive me if I keep poping in and out.

Wishful think - I'm sorry to hear your news I hope you had a positive meeting with your FS today, were they able to answer your questions and did they give you any advice about a way forward?

Silarose - you're defo not over reacting

Helen - I hope everything is ok

Well its been about 5 weeks now since my last failed cycle, I was starting to feel a better over the weekend but that soon ended today when 'another' girl at work announced she is pregnant, I seriously thought I was going to be sick, I also hate the fact my manager knows my situation and I just feel like I wanna hide away again! We've been advised to have immunology tests but our appointment was cancelled last week because of the snow its been re-arranged for later this week so I hoping the snow stays away.

Hope everyone else is ok xx

 

[wishful think]

Hi there. Well i had my phone consultation with my fs today. He has said that he wants to make a few changes to my meds for our 2nd try. First of all I wont be put on a birth control pill, I will take my nasal spray like i did last time, then I will be injecting 600 puregon to start with and no Luveris this time. The last time I was put on 450 puregon which was upped to 600 and i was on 75 Luveris a day. Am I right in thinking that the Luveris could have been the reason for my poor egg quality (like they were over ripe maybe??). He said my body should have enough LH hormone without taking any more!!! I will then take the pregnyl trigger shot like i did last time too.

Has anyone else done a cycle like this????

I am going to take a break for a few cycles just to allow my ovaries to recover a bit and to give us time to get enough money together again.

 

[silarose28]

Hi everyone

Thanks for the reassurance. If I'm honest I'm still really struggling but feel like everyone expects me to be over it by now -the truth is I'm defo not. I'm doing everything I can to be normal - work and going out with friends etc. Feels a bit like going through the motions at times and I cry loads when I'm on my own.

Wishful - I haven't heard of the drugs that you are on. I only know that when my drugs were modified I did so much better so fx'd for you.

Missmonty - I've just gone through 2 announcements at work and my manager warned me about them and asked if I was ok. It's awful so I completely know how you are feeling.

Helen - how are you getting on?

Any news anyone else?

xxxxxxxxx

 

[Tory123]

Hi

I have had a BFN on my first cycle, I can't believe how hard it has hit me just keep crying. Have not been back to work for a week and just feel miserable. Along with this realise I have been taking the medication wrong, really don't know how i did this. Since ET was taken 2 suppository both together at night instead am and pm. Could this of made much difference? What a stupid mistake.

Thinking of all of you as I know how painful this all can be. Lots of people go on and have a baby, baby dust to all of you xx

 

[MissMonty]

Hi Tory - so sorry you need to take time to look after yourself. I'm not sure about how much of a difference taking the suppositories at once would have made, try not to focus on it too much, have you arranged a follow up appointment? Sending you lots of hugs

Wishful think - I haven't heard of those drugs either but it's good to see they will be trying something different next time x

 

[Inky2006]

Hi all

Hi Wishful - pleased that the FS is going to try you on different meds. I haven't any experience of this but have read that different protocols can definately make a difference to the egg quality.

Hi Miss Monty - hope your test goes okay. Snow is getting me down now, hope it stays away for you. Can relate to hearing others are pregnant. Just yesterday, had some news about someone I know and it made me feel sad also. I really hope you wont have to wait too long before you get your BFP. I hope they get to the bottom of why its not working.

Silarose - I don't think people really understand what its like to have a failed cycle (especially if they haven't been through it ) I have often felt like people don't understand and have expected me to be over it. This includes my husband. In your case you were pregnant for a short while and I guess thats worse. Also I think you said you work with children, so you don't get to escape from it. All the things you feel are completely normal. I feel the same most of the time. I am a nurse in real life and for me my whole life is spent bottling emotions and trying to please others. Also taking on others emotions. I spend alot of time bottling things up, so I think its good you cry and let it all out. Its probably worse to be the way I am.

Hi Tory - I think I followed your story abit when I was nosing around the threads. I am so sorry to hear your cycle failed. Am I right in thinking you have more frozen embroyos. I'm very sure what you did with the suppositories didn't make a huge ammount of difference. Thinking of you!!xx

Helen _ I hope you are okay and you can come on here today and give us a success story.

As for me I have my appt with nurse for next cycle (FET) on tues next week. Like Miss Monty I hope it doesn't snow again. The clinic is in the middle of the countryside. Is lovely but not when having to drive in it (not with a 1.1 engine) Anyway, am hopeful about FET because I have to be. I keep trying to suppress the thoughts of it not working out of my head, because I have a tendency to be negative (postive about others) so am really trying hard.

Anyway, hope you are all okay. I am so pleased I started this thread because really makes me happy to think people are getting support from itxxxxx

 

[Helen76]

Hi Inky and everyone.

I'm really sorry but I'm not going to be a success story. It was BFN.

I had 2 top quality embies put back in and it still didn't work. Don't know what else I can do.

Anyway I'm glad (in a way) we are all here to support each other and I hope we all graduate to the pregnancy forums very soon.

Thinking of you all,
H xx

 

[Inky2006]

Hi Helen

Sorry to hear about that. I really truly am. I so wanted it to work for you. Anyway, I agree I really do hope we all graduate to pregnancy forums soon, and can start a new 'success thread'. I hope you are okay anyway. Take care. With lots of

 

[wishful think]

so sorry helen xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[MissMonty]

Hi Helen - sending you lots of hugs on my last cycle I started spotting 5 days before OTD, I didn't have any spotting on previous cycles so started to get mixed feelings thinking it could be implantation or AF arriving sadly it was the latter I hope with time you start to feel a little better

Well we had our immunology blood tests today - I had to fill 10 vitals and DH only 1 - why is it the men get away with things so lightly I thought we would have to wait about 6 weeks to get the results back but been told today to contact them in 3. Although we're planning a holiday for March and won't start any treatment again till after then, not sure if I can wait that long but DH wants us to have a nice holiday before we start again.

Sending all you lovely ladies lots of hugs stay strong and remember there are people out there who understand

 

[silarose28]

Hi Helen

So sorry you got BFN. Sending you lots of

 

[Lolly1985]

Helen, really sorry to hear your sad news. I hope you have good support from all your family and friends, and of course you always have us girlies on this thread xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Tory123]

Hi Everyone

So sorry helen here for you x

Inky I had 4 forzen embroys and they thawed all of them 2 of them didn't expand for me but had the other two put back. I also have done alot of research and they are a lot of babies born from FET so you are right to be positive. My doctor even said they are really strong ones as they survive freezing and thawing although it wasnt for me. The reason could be due to I have really low AMH and I was OHSS and it just wasnt meant to be. Good luck with your next cycle keep us posted x

I have been so upset over IVF not working and its especially hard it being Christmas. I have given myself a four year plan. I am 36 in Feb so bet to stop at 40 and 10 years of trying well anyway my plan is 2 more IVF NHS funded. Then I will change hospitals and try two paid attemps. If this still doesn't work then will try two egg donor and then will adopt a baby. I know this is followed with loads of heart ache probably impossible but I feel a tiny bit better now I have a plan. Has anyone else got a plan? or you just going with the flow x

Tory xxx

 

[silarose28]

Hiya everyone

Missmonty - 10 vials wow! I know what you mean about waiting - it's awful. Though it can be really nice to have a holiday before you get going again - we did that last year in Morocco and I had such a nice time - it's good to de- stress in preparation for ivf.

Tory - my plan is pretty much the same as yours. I am having private ivf cycles in between my nhs ones. The nhs make you wait 6 months between each go here which is too long for me (I am 37 and am a poor responder which means time is running out for me!) Anyway musn't complain as at least I am able to have nhs treatment - though I am petrified that will be cut soon! I too am planning to do donor eggs if Im not successful. I think we will go to Spain as it is anonymous there and the donors are well paid so they are young and very fertile! My friend just got pregnant with donor eggs in a clinic just outside Alicante. After having my miscarriage though I really want to conceive with my own eggs - please please let that happen!!!!

Helen - how are you feeling honey?

Hi to everyone else too

xxxxxx

 

[Inky2006]

Hi Everyone

So sorry helen here for you x

Inky I had 4 forzen embroys and they thawed all of them 2 of them didn't expand for me but had the other two put back. I also have done alot of research and they are a lot of babies born from FET so you are right to be positive. My doctor even said they are really strong ones as they survive freezing and thawing although it wasnt for me. The reason could be due to I have really low AMH and I was OHSS and it just wasnt meant to be. Good luck with your next cycle keep us posted x

I have been so upset over IVF not working and its especially hard it being Christmas. I have given myself a four year plan. I am 36 in Feb so bet to stop at 40 and 10 years of trying well anyway my plan is 2 more IVF NHS funded. Then I will change hospitals and try two paid attemps. If this still doesn't work then will try two egg donor and then will adopt a baby. I know this is followed with loads of heart ache probably impossible but I feel a tiny bit better now I have a plan. Has anyone else got a plan? or you just going with the flow x

Tory xxx

Thank you for your comments. Makes me feel abit more optimistic. My plan almost mirrors yours. I am of a similar age so know how you feel. I think its good to have a plan. My thoughts are that I will be a mum whatever, even if not in the conventional sense and I think this really helps me cope. Hopefully it will happen for us soon without going down the donor or adoption route. I know how you feel about christmas as well. Its hard, and last christmas I thought I would have a baby now. We went to my husbands cousins wedding this time last year. She has just had a baby. (this feels like a bitter blow -but have to pretend to be happy for her and coo over the baby ) So I can relate to your story. I am determined to stay positive ( despite having many moments of self doubt)xxxx

 

[Helen76]

Hey Silarose I am feeling surprisingly okay (although a bit worried that it maybe just hasn't hit me yet!).

I think like others on here I'm just concentrating on my plans for the future. I have started Agnus Castus to see if that helps with the spotting and possibly to bring forward ovulation (I tend to ovulate day 21 or after).

I still don't understand why it didn't work but I know people who got lucky on the third attempt so I don't think it means it won't work for me at some point.

I'm going to just enjoy Xmas and then look forward to my follow up appointment next year. Definitely still feeling like I need a break from it all so wouldn't expect to start until April or later (I think!! I may change my mind - a woman's prerogative!!).

Hello to everyone else.

H xx

 

[Lolly1985]

Hello everyone!

I hope you all as good as can be expected. I just want to say i'm sorry for everyone's heartache and am continuing to pray for all of us and fingers crossed for our happy ending.

My plan is to continue with my further two nhs cycles. Sadly if they don't work I really don't think we will be in a position to pay for another privately. Its a bit of a catch 22 as if we paid for another and it worked it would be worth every penny 100 times over. But if it didn't we would have no money left to get married which would really hinder our chances of adopting. Although I want my own child so so much I ultimately want to be a mum through any means possible and would be happy to adopt. I think as I work with children and have fostered, i've been able to build up really close relationships with children which arn't my own and know that any child adopted would feel like my baby. I also think that if we adopted I would feel like the failed IVFs were for a reason as it lead me to my adopted child which by that point would feel like the best thing that ever happened to me. Its hard to explain properly what I mean as its all bottled up but makes sense to me! Hope people understand what i'm trying to say.

The drugs and failed attempt are really hitting me badly at the moment. I had my first zolodex injection on friday and have cried most of weekend since. Its hard as my family live away, think thats making it worse. Even though I always always said I would do no matter what to have a baby I wonder how long I can keep putting myself physically and mentally through this without cracking. I have known I had fertility problems for 5 1/2 years and am suprised how we all keep going sometimes.

Sorry for the really long post, think I needed to pour some of it out! I know there are people here who have gone through much harder times than these and hope I don't sound too selfish.

I'm glad I found this group, it helps so much. Much love to all of you amazing ladies, Lolly xxxxxxxx