Support Group failed IVF/ICSI IUI or any failed assisted conceptions 2014

[MissMonty]

Good evening ladies

Tory - great news you have a cancellation - your questions are very similar to the questions I had. You might want to ask if and how they will alter your protocol, I'm not too sure how many cycles you have had and had many eggs/embies you gained from your last cycle. We have had ICSI and as I understand the fertilisation rate seems to be better with ICSI, so if there was an issue there ICSI could be an option. Maybe some of the other ladies will have more ideas - I really hope you have a positive appointment and get some answers

Silarose - so sorry to hear you are not feeling good Fears of redudancy are just pants and I can imagine just adds extra pressure to an already stressful situation. TBH I'm still feeling crap after failed ICSI and my OTD was 5th November - it's still very early days for you. I said to my DH tonight that I feel like a robot - get up in the morning and put on a brave face and go to work and then come home and feel like crap and try and prepare myself mentally for the next day. You need time to grieve, I sometimes wonder if trying to get things back to normal asap can be detrimental. Don't apologise - you're not alone (although I know it may feel that way) we are here to support each other - let us know how you get on with your GP tomorrow xx

 

[Helen76]

Silarose, big hugs coming to you.

I know there is the age thing to consider but giving yourself that extra few weeks might make the difference with your mental health. That's what I'm hoping for.

I think you're right to see your GP but just be mindful about taking time off work if there is a potential redundancy situation. It shouldn't but it might make you a bit vulnerable

 

[Helen76]

Sorry had to do this in two parts again.

I'm not trying to spook you Silarose on the work front, just offering a bit of advice. On the flipside could you take redundancy and maybe temp for a while?

Really hope things get better for you.

H xx

 

[silarose28]

Thanks Ladies

MissMonty - Thanks for the hugs. So wierd that you describe things like being a robot as that is exactly how I described it to someone today. I am just getting through the day but don't really feel like part of anything! I'm not sure what else to do but get on with it as staying at home would make me worse and like Helen says I'd be a bit vulnerable taking time off at the mo with redundance looming.

Helen- thanks for the kind words and advice. I'm a bit scared about temping as have bee doing this job for over 10 years now, Might be good to mix things up though - they say a change is as good as a rest!

Tory I can't really think of anything to add to your list but I took a pencil and paper along to my appointment and write the answers my fs gave me down (stopped me forgetting!). He really didn't mind at all. Oh and I also asked about natural things we could do to help ourselves - but he didn't really say much that we hadn't seen on the internet anyway.


Hello everyone else. Am really tired so am going to stop writing now but will catch up with you all properly tomorrow. Sorry my post has been all about me tonight - hope you are all ok xxxxxx

 

[Inky2006]

Hi everyone

Silarose - I am so sorry to hear you feel so down. I think as MissMonty said it is early days for you. You have been through abit of a trauma. As for the age thing. In my job I have come to realise 'age' is merely a number. Its really to do with how fit you are, and how well you look after yourself. Diet and exercise!

Sorry to hear about your job, will you get any redundancy pay. , I know 3 people that have been made redundant. Its a difficult time. It does add to your stress, but as Helen said maybe you could temp. It might work out to be more flexible for you.

When you feel down it is hard to look at lifes positives. Its when you can't get out of bed that it becomes a problem. You might actually benefit from a very mild anti- depressant, you could ask the doctor. It depends I think what you can take with your treatment. I think counselling would be better because it seems as if you are grieving at the moment. Anyway, just wanted to give you abit of support. I know a little about depression, as was struck by it in my early 20s. x

Tori - hope your appt goes well. I think Missmonty covers it with her advice.x

Lolly - I hope you get some well deserved pampering from your mum, There is after all no one to make it better like your mum (this is how I feel anyway)

My Sillygirls - hope you are okay. I hope you get your baby soon. x

helen - Hope you are enjoying your nights out - at least you got some good advice from the nurse ( Think I read in your journal)x

MissMonty - sorry you feel down too. I have posted a comment in your journalx

With lots of christmas fairy dust
Inksx



S

 

[MySillyGirls]

Hi, ladies! I hope you are all well! It is easy to overwhelmed right now, especially with the holidays upon us...

I have an appointment in the morning for initial bloods and ultrasounds, then will start the bcps again on Sat. Here we go again...! Back on the rollercoaster...

 

[MissMonty]

Hi ladies

Silarose - how are you feeling today and how did you get on with your GP? I hope you're ok

MySillyGirls - good luck with your appointment tomorrow xx

Inky and Helen - thank you for posting in my journal

How's everyone else doing?

I'm on count down now - only 4 working days left for me

 

[silarose28]

Hi everyone

Went to the GP today and had a good old cry. I am going to have counselling. Feel a bit better.

Mysillygirls - Ahh your little girl is sooo cute! Good luck with this cycle. I am waiting for af in next week or so and will start bcps then so hopefully we can be cycle buddies.

Inky - I'm rooting for you and your frosties! Hopefully we can all be buddies and support each other next cycle.

Missmonty - let us know when you get your results back - I'm sure they will help you get your bfp!

Helenttc - hope you are feeling a bit better. When will you be having your tests done?

Hello to everyone else too - it's difficult keeping up with posts ha ha!

 

[Greta]

Hello everyone, Yes this long-term tcc is very upsetting. I just found out my third IVF has failed. We have had a tough year. The first time we did IVF we had no fertilization and now we have done two ICSIS. The first one in the summer I felt lucky to have two blastcysts (not great quality) put back and on the most recent attempt I got seven eggs, six fertilized and I had two grade 1 and one grade 2 put back. But still no luck!
My DH has some antibodies and I am 41 which is obviously pretty old for this. But they said I do produce good embroys so have not been advised to stop. However, next time we will probably do assisted hatching. So doing the most technical of the most technical. I feel kind of OK, but my DH is really upset this time. I feel very sad for him. My plan is to spend a few months getting to the height of health and emotionall well being. I am going to try traditional Chinese medicine, acupunture, yoga, meditation and have very healthy diet. I know it may not help, but then I'll really know I have tried. A book that is really helping me is Conquering Infertility by Alice Domar. It suggests how feeling down and infertility can be a vicious circle and I know this has happened to me. I want to still enjoy my life and put this problem in a little box which is there but not taking over the whole time. Good luck to everyone next year and it would be good to follow everyone's stories and support each other. Greta. xx

 

[Helen76]

So sorry to hear your story Greta and welcome.

It sounds like you're being very positive about things, it's such a difficult journey and I think anything is worth a try so you do right to try what you're planning.

Thinking of you,
H xx

 

[Lolly1985]

Hello Everyone

Silarose I'm sorry to hear you're having such a difficult time. Talk about kicking you when you are down. Life can be cruel and i'm glad you've been to see your GP. I really hope you get some benefit out of the councelling. I know I did and will be going back and having it throughout my next cycle. Sending you lots of love.

Hi Greta. Sorry you've had to join this group. It sounds like you've had a hard time of it and its a credit to you that you seem to remain so positive. I think you do right to try some alternative treatments. If the conventional way hasn't worked then anything is worth a good go at. Then at least you can say you have tried everything within your power. I also hope your hubby is holding up ok.

Hi Tory, when is your appointment? I hope it goes/has gone as well as can be expected.

MySillyGirls, how'd your appointment go today? Hoping you got on ok and wishing you lots of luck.

Hi Helen, Miss Monty and Inky, I hope you are all well and looking forward to Christmas, can't believe it'll be xmas eve in a week! Yay!

Hello to anyone i've missed, sorry, i'm full of a cold at the moment and in true seasonal style am sporting a red nose to match! My brain is all over the place, have so much to do before christmas and can't afford to be ill so its soldier on and keep popping the pills for me! Lots of love and christmas cheer!! Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Tory123]

Hi Girls


I had my follow up appointment today. Big arguement with hubby first of all didn't help the appointment was at 1.30 and our foster son comes out of school at 3.30 my mum had already said she would have him if we were not back in time. My DH was saying cancel this appointment so your mum doesn't have to come down she lives about 1 hour away. I phoned the clinic and they said the next appointment is the 11th Jan well that seemed too far away for me. He was saying I need to chill out and he wants his old wife back. I broke down crying and said I am going with or without him (not really nutty, but if only I could produce sperm on my own lol). In the end he came but he started saying not going to start again until april which stared another row. Anyway went over what went wrong and they did mention OHSS and will change my protocol to short one and not so many drugs to try and get fresh transfer without OHSS. As it turns out the next appointment to start was not to April so DH was quite happy. He did say after that he would of started sooner if it was possible but he thinks we both need a break from IVF. Sorry Helen I know I have already moaned to you x

Does anyone else sometimes think there DH do not realise the urgency?

Toryx

 

[silarose28]

Hiya Tory

Sounds really familiar to me. When I started all of this with my DH I had to wait around as he had some time off between jobs and wanted to visit relatives/relax etc. I felt really resentful. I had fought and fought to get us to the point where we could have nhs ivf and then he was making me wait around. I think it was the age thing that was really worrying me (I am 37).

I know how you feel - really wanting to get going. I think it's our instincts kicking in - our natural drive to become mothers. I have chatted to loads of ivf ladies who say that their men just didn't 'get' this to the same degree. Since we have had a miscarriage my DH is beginning to see how I have been feeling for the last 2 years - he is now becoming as desperate as me whereas previously he had his head in the sand and didn't want to recognise that there was a real issue!

We had a holiday before our ivf kicked off and, though I didn't really want to go, it did do me the world of good. As your appointment is not until April maybe try to build some time in for a break or enjoyable activities togther. Sounds to me like your DH is feeling stressed and it would probably do you both good to have some 'you' time (as frustrating as it is to wait around until April - with ivf it's the waiting around that is truely the killer!)

 

[silarose28]

Oh and hi Lolly -hope your cold it not too bad - Loads of people seeming to be coming down with bugs at the mo. I had a terrible cold a few weeks back which lasted ages! x

 

[Lolly1985]

Hi Tory, Hi everyone!

Sounds like quite a stressful day but seems like a positive outcome for both of you in the end. I'm glad they are changing things to hopefully suit you better next cycle.

Yes I agree with that statement that the darling men in our lives don't always get it. But I guess how can they? I get angry with my OH sometimes for not understanding but then its my body so I can't really expect him to I guess. When I found out I needed 3 months worth of Zolodex injections I was really upset. I mean a bit OTT to be honest! And all he kept saying was it was good to wait a bit longer so we can enjoy christmas, save more money, I can finish at uni (i'm doing a degree that finshes in may) etc etc. But I'd already waited 3 months! Felt I needed that but then just as I was feeling ready to go again they land it on me that I need to wait another 3?!! Was too much. We also ended up rowing as I couldn't understand why he wanted to keep waiting and started asking if this is what he really wanted etc. Silly questions but by that point I was too upset to be rational!

Its really hard because we just want to plough through sometimes and I think they don't always realise the urgancy in having the much longed for baby. My partner is always trying to put his sesible head on, like I said, justifying why waiting is a good thing. But sometimes its not. End of!!

Love to you all, Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Lolly1985]

Eeeek!! Don't tell me that Silarose... i need this gone by crimbo!!

I hope you are doing ok and have a super lovely weekend! xxxxx

 

[MySillyGirls]

Hiya, girls! The appointment yesterday went well. I am on BCPs for two weeks, starting yesterday. I go back for an appointment on 12/30. then, I start a lupron overlay with my bcps for one week. Then, I will start on 300 Follistim and 75 Repronex on approximately 1/6. So, if I stim well this time (praying) then I will have EC around 1/18-1/20. I am sooo afraid I won't stim well. We have decided we will bail if it looks like I am stimming poorly like last time. But, since the protocal is different (didn't do lupron last time, follistim instead of gonal at higher dose) I am crossing my fingers this works. Yikes!!

Today, I am frazzled! LOL! I have just found out that my 6 year old had started placing the cat in her room at night (and shutting the door). Apparently, she has been doing this since my 8 yr old moved into her own room last week. WELL..the cat urinated all over a pile of clothes, etc. Holy cow. Good times.

 

[Helen76]

Hey everyone.

MySillyGirls - poor you with the cat! Hope you and your girls (and cat) have a lovely Xmas and then a hugely successful IVF cycle x

I think I'm quite lucky that my DH is quite supportive with appointments etc and stuff but men can't possibly understand what we go through, maybe they should have a cycle of drugs and then they'd see ha ha!

I totally understand about the appt though, last time our follow up appt was scheduled for the week we were away on hol so I rang up to reschedule and they said their first appointment was about a month after that. I cried buckets, I was so desolate. I'd asked them if they had a cancellation to let me know and a few days later I got a letter with an appointment the week before we went on holiday, I was so relieved.

This time I'm a bit more chilled out (for now) we've got our follow up appointment on 24 Jan so I think we could potentially get started in Feb but I really do feel that I need a break and I want to concentrate on seeing if there are any problems with me that they can fix before a third attempt. I'm waffling a bit now but basically Tory we may well end up being cycle buddies again.

Lolly - I'm full of cold too but determined to shift it by Xmas!!

Hi - to everyone else.

H xx

 

[flower18]

Hi ladies...it's sad to see so many ppl in this thread...It's not fair! I hope everyone though is finding strength to press on and keep on trying. We've decided we're going to do a FET this January...I'm excited, nervous, looking for other things I can do differently! Has anyone here tried acupuncture?

I can't wait to put an end to this awful year...Just yesterday at a party two of my husband's cousins announced they were preggo...I nearly choked on my drink and to top it off, one of them have the same due date I would have had if I got pregnant with IVF/ICSI in November I was telling my girlfriend I guess ppl like us have to hit rock bottom before things get better...if that makes any sense! Well I hope you guys are unwinding as the holiday approaches and taking a little time for something that matters...YOU!

 

[Tory123]

Hi Girls

I know how you feel flower seems like everyone around me is announcing that someone is pregnant. We always go out with a group of people and spend birthdays and new year etc together. This year one of the member of the group is pregnant and not going out and has asked everyone round there. Everyone is going and I have told my DH don't think I could sit there all night talking about babies. This has left us with not much to do NY Eve.

I did do accupunture and think it helped especially as they thought I would be a poor responder when in fact I got 32 eggs not good but don't think that was down to accupunture.

I have got to April and going to start accupunture in the New Year. I am also defintely losing a stone and doing more exercise, I say more I hardly do any. I have ordered Wheatgerm and DHEA as have heard this good regarding low overian reserve. Has anyone else got anything they are going to do before the next IVF?

Take care my friends and hope you have as much as possible a lovely christmas

Tory