Team Rainbow Mummies - Gay Surrogates, Lesbian, Transgender and BiSexual TTC Group

[rainbowbaby12]

adroplet- fingers crossed for you and hoping your 2ww goes by fast!

 

[READY4OURBABY]

adroplet~ woohoo! FX that this is it!!

myalways~ i would definitely get the kit if you can. it helps a lot. i hope school is going well for you.

pinkorblue~ it isnt easy but im getting as much rest as i can. how are you feeling these days?

rainbowbaby~ check out At-home Artificial Insemination - HOW TO and success stories & Considering at-home insemination with donor sperm? both give good advice and many of the ladies here have put the experiences on there in detail. but as always there is help in here as well.

mommy2be~ how exciting 2 down 2 more to go.

pondhopper~ if you do the paperwork yourself make sure to have it notarized otherwise it's easier for them to fight it.

mm~ im praying everything stays on track with your little bean.

GL & FX to all you ladies entering the TWW and those getting started on donations!!

afm...DW and I took a quick mini-vaca over the weekend.(it was great i had a chance to not worry about anybody or anything) i have been so stressed out lately she decided to get me away. not great news on thursday. the dr measured me and i was good but she couldn't find a heartbeat. she told me its still early and sometimes the baby wont cooperate. im really hoping thats all it was and there is nothing wrong. im scheduled to have my 10-13 week testing done and go for another scan in the coming weeks. im praying everything goes well. but im worried because ive been burning/cramping in my abdomen all day. DW thinks the baby is just being difficult as always.

 

[adroplet]

M&M - I have faith that this baby will stick for you girls. I am just so relaxed and positive this cycle, don't stress. I think that you have made it further than a lot of us here.....you can get pregnant. Many of us have never seen a BFP of our own. I'm one of them. So chin up and think positive thoughts. I have lit a candle for all of us here.

afm, i'm feeling crampy. I go in for my second in about an hour. My partner called in yesterday to be there with me but couldn't today. So i will be going alone. it will be ok.

 

[AN and RL]

Hey ladies! Quick question for you! I've been testing ovulation everyday since CD 13 with OPKs. I test twice a day. FMU and evening. Until today I was getting faint lines. This morning it was darker than its ever been but not darker than the control line. I have smiley digi tests too so I used one of those too (same urine in a cup) and it was a + big smiley face. I'm just confused bc I was told on the line OPk the test line is darker than control line. Do you ladies think I'm ovulating? This is cycle day 17. My cycles are usually 32 days. Thanksfor any advice/answers!

 

[adroplet]

Hey ladies! Quick question for you! I've been testing ovulation everyday since CD 13 with OPKs. I test twice a day. FMU and evening. Until today I was getting faint lines. This morning it was darker than its ever been but not darker than the control line. I have smiley digi tests too so I used one of those too (same urine in a cup) and it was a + big smiley face. I'm just confused bc I was told on the line OPk the test line is darker than control line. Do you ladies think I'm ovulating? This is cycle day 17. My cycles are usually 32 days. Thanksfor any advice/answers!

I use the digital ones (with smiley face) and when you get a + you will be ovulating between 24-48 hours after. 36hrs is the average.

 

[adroplet]

Ready - Congratulations, your first trimester is done with!

 

[mommy2be7772]

Hello all, just checking in. Hope everyone is having a great Monday. Fairy dust to TTCers, H&H to preggers.

 

[RosiePo]

My wife and I have recently started TTC. We have a known donor. a signed contract and have taken all precautions as far as health is concerned He has gotta all of the relative blood work and exams done...all is clear are well!

We did our first round of insemination last month and unfortunately it didnt take. I am positive its because it was a bit of a stressful process with it being the first time. (Now we feel like pros!)-Its really hard to be relaxed and stress free and I know that EVERYONE says over and over again...stress free mind will welcome a stress free successful pregnancy...easier said than done.

We inseminated everyday for 6 days. We started 2 days before expected ovulation and continued on until 2 days after ovulation.-all of my ovulation tests came back negative but I paid close attention to my CM and I am pretty regular so also calculated that way. (14 days after period)

We used 'instead soft cups' and pre seed....I would insert the pre seed into my vagina 10-15 mins before the sample-almost like a primer. We would drive to the donors home he would grab the cup from us and literally bring it back to the car...I would then just slide the cup right up there against my cervix and drive home. I would try to achieve an orgasm after getting home so that my cervix would contract and leave the cup in overnight (remove in morning).

I was late for my period this month so i thought for sure it worked...I was having all signs and symptoms of pregnancy but all negative tests. I AM NEVER EVER late for my period, im extremely regular. I finally went to the doctor and after a million tests...am definitely not prego. My period did start but only lasted 1 day and was really strange. -very light-blood looked really really dark brown and spotty.

I talked to another friend that had done 'artificial insemination' at a doctors office (and was successful after a year and a hell of a alot of money) and she said that her body went all wonky after the process as well....HAS this happened to anyone else????

Anyways. Now Im just waiting to ovulate again so that we can go for try #2. I am confused now because of all the complications with my period and i now dont know when ill ovulate. Im trying to pay close attention to my body.

I need so much support right now, it is hard to stay calm and focused. So ready for baby.....

 

[Myalways829]

RosiePo - baby to u

 

[RosiePo]

thank you babes!!!! xoxoo

 

[Pinkorblue11]

Hi everyone, sending tons of baby dust for those in TWW and TTC!!!

Ready~ I'm feeling much better these days, I think it's safe to say MS has left me alone for good! I wasn't expecting that until the end of this month.. Awww, sorry the heartbeat couldn't be heard yet the baby's probably just playing hard to get. If it helps, it took my midwife forever to find this one's hb, and I'm 15 weeks! I hope the next appointment will bring you the sweet sound of your baby doing just fine in there.

 

[RosiePo]

Im really confused. my cycle is generally 28 days. but because the first round of insemination messed my body up...my cycle this time was 35 days. I now dont know when to expect ovulation. Today would be day cd11 from my last period.....I have been taking opk's everyday and just 1 line. I AM SO FRUSTRATED.

 

[MrsMM24]

ROSIEPRO so nice to meet you.... I have been away for a while, but have been Lurking and checking in on my dear BnB friends. I think it is time I give you a proper post... Try not to be frustrated, when you start TTC, you start to learn alot of new and interesting details, some you never thought or thought wrong about over the years.... I think that for those that are TTC with donors or donor sperm, Charting is one of the greatest tools! If you get the chance, click my siggy chart and subscribe to fertilityfriend for free. Even if you don't temp (which outside of an U/S, is the best way to detect OV) it is still helpful for charting other things. Join up. OPKs are great, but not as accurate, FF can help you realize your LP which is not exact, it is 90% of the time a range of days within 2-3. We have to rely so heavily on timing, that charting is the best. As well, the CBFM is the greatest tool for a Lesbian or donor using couple! I would also recommend preseed.... There is sooo much more I could say, but those are the basics Hun, I hope they are helpful. The most helpful thing, is to relax, as stress, is one of the largest factors to delay, interfere, or disturb OV! GL FXD!


:wave: to all the Team Rainbow Mummies! I have stopped in briefly. I have updated my journal however, as I ease back into things.... I hope you are all well!

 

[RosiePo]

Wow!!! thankyou.....for all of the effort put into that response I find it hard to keep up on here....im too addicted to the facebook ha. i am so happy a forum like this exists. Doctors look at you like you have 3 heads i find, when you talk about insemination. SO for the very first time i got a positive OPK today....I have been planning on starting to use the temps chart...but hopefully with this positive opk...ill be right on point to start tonight!!!!!!! yay!!! any recommendations? We are using preseed AND soft cups! and i find it easier to just slide the whole cup in, as there usually isnt a big enough sample for a syringe. AND I DONT WANT TO WASTE ANY. xxoxox

 

[AN and RL]

Hi everyone. I just wanted to stop in and give some encouragement not to give up hope. My partner and I had lost all hope for this month (spotting and cramping) had a numerous amount of negative tests and I was several days late. Tested Friday morn and night late, still negative. Saturday morning there was the lightest line imaginable. We thought for sure it was in our heads. So we tested with a digital and Bam BFP. 4 weeks. Even tho we are having some possible complications (think the baby could be stuck in the tube bc of pain on left side, but also.have a UTI and a huge syst on my left side. So not at all sure yet as the baby is too small to find still) we are excited and praying that little bean is okay and will be where it should be. Don't give up hope ladies. Praying for all of you and sending baby dust!

 

[morriang]

Hey everyone, I enjoyed reading all your posts and hoping well wishes for all. I am new to the site and looking forward to this thread. My partner and I are doing in home insemination starting this month. I actually tried two months about a year ago which never took and then decided I wanted to do one more program in school so put having a child off for a year. I graduated last week and I'm ready to start trying again but nervous because it didn't take last time when I tried twice. I'm hoping I learn a lot on this site and may learn something new to increase my chances.

There is a lot of lingo on here so hopefully I figure out what everything means haha. What I found interesting so far and was curious about is the cups that a few of you were talking about...those work well? I never thought about using something like that but sounds like a great idea to keep the sperm where it needs to be. Also, I am nervous about after insemination. They recommend you try to orgasm afterwards to increase the chances of the sperm getting to where is needs to be but unfortunately I am one of those unlucky people who do not reach orgasm ever (I know shocking and sucky) anyway, I am worried this may effect my chances of pregnancy...anyone know anything about this?

Can someone else tell me about preseed? I read its a lubricant that doesn't destroy sperm, but is it really needed?

Thanks for all your help everyone!

 

[wipednwired]

I'm new too!

Hey morriang - I just came across this site and saw your question about Pre Seed. I think it's great - we used it for the first time last month, and I did get a BFP (big fat pregnant on a pee stick), but unfortunately I had a very early miscarriage, and am waiting for the signs to appear again before we call our donor to come on over...

Basically, your body produces CM (cervical mucus) in different forms throughout your cycle. When you are ready to ovulate, it produces a kind that resembles eggwhites - slippery, stretchy, but not gummy like rubber cement. It is one of the best signs that you are about to Ovulate. However, not everyone produces the same amount, for for the same number of days. As you get older (I'm 38), your body generally produces less.

The point is - sperm need the EWCM (egg white CM) in order to survive. So if you get the sperm in there, but you don't ovulate for a couple of days, the sperm can live if you have some EWCM, but will die off from the natural acidity of the vagina if you don't have EWCM. This is where Pre-seed comes in. It mimics the composition of EWCM, thus providing a good environment for sperm to live while they are hanging out, waiting to attack (!) the egg.

All of this is only relevant if you are injecting sperm yourself - if you are having IUI at the doctor's, I'm not sure this is so relevant. But either way, a gush of natural EWCM tells you you're about to ovulate.

I hightly recommend buying the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Weschler. It will tell you most things you need to know!

 

[wipednwired]

PS Orgasm is not a requirement for conception - just an added bonus I have read that it can help 'suck' the sperm in, but if you think about straight couples having sex, I am kinda doubting that the woman's orgasm happens at exactly the same moment that he ejaculates sperm perfectly aimed at her cervical opening!!!

 

[wipednwired]

One thought re OPKs - I never got a positive result (I tried Clearblue and some cheapy internet ones), but I still got pregnant. I tested twice a day for 4 days leading up to the insemination, and a couple of days after. Only once did I see a SUPER faint line, but the test considers that a negative.

So don't despair if you don't get a positive OPK - everyone has different responses to the available prediction methods. I am finding that REALLY rigorous charting (cut out all alcohol because it raises temps, wake yourself with an alarm to take temp at exact same time every day) combined with attention to CM is the best for me. But others have luck with OPKs.

 

[wipednwired]

Hi all!

Ok, so I got really excited when I found this post, and just blurted out a bunch of advice above, but really, I should introduce myself!

So, the short of it is:
I'm 38 and my partner (whoops, fiancee!) is 35. We are TTC with a local male friend who comes over to make a donation, and then we do the insemination ourselves with a drugstore syringe (needle-less, of course). He is doing a favour, and will not be involved in the parenting.

I've been charting since December. The first month was a bit loosey-goosey - I didn't treat the chart like the bible it has now become. We tried the first insemination in January, but I ended up getting much more obvious EWCM two days later, so I think our timing was a bit off.

We tried again in February, this time using Pre-seed because I wasn't seeing much EWCM, and BOOM, I got a BFP! We were both so shocked, because I have polycystic ovaries (but not PCOS) and I'm 38 and it's always SOMEwhat of a guess when you are going to O, and and and... we just didn't expect it to work so quickly, but were delighted.

We did the pee stick (well, I did the peeing - she did the waiting) on Feb 20, at it was positive. At that point, judging by my chart, I was 20 DPO. I know I know, I waited a long time to do the test, but sometimes my cycles are long, and we wanted to keep thinking it was POSSIBLE that I was pregnant before finding out the truth (a little fantasy, a little hope). Anyway, it was positive.

Three days later, the morning I was to go in for the first blood test, I got some dark brown spotting. Not much - just enough to show up on toilet paper. We did the blood test. Then three days after that, we went in for the second hCG test (to do a comparison), and by that point it seemed like I was having a full AF. When the results of the tests came back, the hCG had gone down from one test to the next, so it was clearly a miscarriage. The numbers were already low - lower than they should be for a pregnancy at 23DPO (by that point), so it seems the zygote had died even earlier - maybe a week before the bleeding started.

So that brings us to now... I counted the first full day of bleeding (Mar 4) as DPO, and have been charting. I bled fully for 7 days, then spotted for two. Then nothing for 5 days, and my body felt normal. The last two days I have been having little bits of brown spotting, and today I just got a huge amount of EWCM, so that's why I have popped back on the internet. Apparently it's possible to be ovulating so soon after the m/c, but I am not sure...

Which brings me to why this forum is such a great find: so many sites and books will say "well, if you think you MIGHT be ovulating, go for it! Have lots of sex, and you never know" But as you gals understand, it's not that easy. I have to get the timing pretty much spot on, because there is only one chance per month (or maybe two, if the donor is not too busy). It's hard - he says to call him anytime and he's fine with donating more than once in a couple of days, but I don't want to push the boundaries too much, you know?

Anyway - if anyone has advice about TTC after an early natural m/c, or the brown spotting and EWCM stuff, let me know! I don;t know if I shoudl call him to come over today, or wait a day or two to see what's going on. My temps are still clearly pre-ovulatory, but who knows, my hormones are probably all still off...

(Sorry if any of this was tooo much information - I figure we're all in the thick of it, so...)