Tell Me What You Hate or Find Annoying!

[caerdydd]

I hate that my best friend accidentally got pregnant just after moving in with her boyfriend, that she has spent hours telling me I should wait and not have children. I hate that that I'm too scared to see her incase I get upset and she has no idea why.

I hate people asking if I have children and why don't I have children and "Isn't it about time you thought of having children" - like oh yeah, that's a great idea, why have I not thought about it before!!

 

[onmymind17]

I hate the TWW, i wish you knew it worked right away, then if it did not work you could relax and have fun in the TWW, instead of thinking you might be pg and wasting all that time.

 

[Armywife84]

and one more thing....ppl who are in gender disappointment...why they never feel grateful that they can even get pregnant at all and once they got pregnant the 2nd time, they want to be choosy. And they feel sad when they did not get their choosen gender. When we here at Long Term TTC forum are only praying and hoping to get pregnant for once...

Good one, I couldn't agree with you more. They have no idea how lucky they are to get pregnant!

 

[Armywife84]

last year a friend of mine got pregnant on bc and condoms a week after her bf broke up with her she found out she was pregnant and a week later she found out it was twins, she was going through a hard time and i was there for her but i HATED that she even considered abortion and talked to me about it when she knew that I was ttc.

it ended in m/c which is sad and that made me feel guilty about being mad at her.



another thing, I noticed that alot of people on here say they hate peoples bfp anouncements on facebook and hates people showing off scan pics and i definatly hate these things too, but when i get pregnant I want to tell everybody and show off my bump and my pics but i know people that are ttc will they be mad at me?
I think i earned the right to show off but I don't want to upset others and I don't want to feel guilty. how could I get passed that?

Tough one. For the record, I do believe that any couple who gets pregnant with their first they deserve bragging rights. Especially those struggling to conceive.(Those who brag about every pregnancy are just annoying, you're fertile. We got that.) And why shouldn't they boast about their pregnancy? The rest of us just HATE seeing that because it's a constant reminder of the struggles we're facing. As the months pass by, and more ultrasound pics crop up I feel like a failure.

You can't please everyone..if you want to brag about it then go ahead. Maybe put on your status that you struggled to get your bundle of joy so that those on your friend's list silently struggling can still congratulate you and have hope that it will happen for them one day too. Kind of like a role model. I like that.

 

[Armywife84]

This is a mean one...if you've seen other comments on posts about my SIL, you know that she already has 1yr old twins from her first round of Clomid, still within the average year, (no PCOS, she just didn't produce enough estrogen) and is unexpectedly pregnant with her third..

I HATE (ok, maybe dislike) my SIL for downplaying my struggle to conceive and that she struggled at it more than I have. Too bad her journey ended at 12 months with no infertility issues and mine is still going.

 

[wantanerd]

I also hate that my SIL compares my struggle to hers yet she has three kids now and I am still going on two years of TTC.

 

[Eva R]

Too bad her journey ended at 12 months with no infertility issues and mine is still going.

Not to be bad hearted but I agree that if she suffers infertility issues a bit longer, she would not have said anything at all!

 

[TiggerToo]

last year a friend of mine got pregnant on bc and condoms a week after her bf broke up with her she found out she was pregnant and a week later she found out it was twins, she was going through a hard time and i was there for her but i HATED that she even considered abortion and talked to me about it when she knew that I was ttc.

it ended in m/c which is sad and that made me feel guilty about being mad at her.



another thing, I noticed that alot of people on here say they hate peoples bfp anouncements on facebook and hates people showing off scan pics and i definatly hate these things too, but when i get pregnant I want to tell everybody and show off my bump and my pics but i know people that are ttc will they be mad at me?
I think i earned the right to show off but I don't want to upset others and I don't want to feel guilty. how could I get passed that?

I know its hard seeing peoples bump pics, them going on about their baby etc but i know its a lovely thing for them and we should try to be happy for them
I know when i have my baby i will be so excited and want to show off pics and talk about them all the time, you just need to remember that they might have been in your situation and even if they haven't its a wonderful experience for them i know its hard but we need to realise that we yearn to feel that way and its nice to know that the baby is obviously loved

xxxxxx

People don't think. It's not a CALLOUS "not thinking", they just don't. It's "their time", so to speak, and they're happy, and they're not intentionally trying to piss us off (well, MOST of them, anyway - we all know there's a few winners out there who really ARE rubbing it in).

And our problem is we take it personal, even though RATIONALLY we KNOW it (usually!) has nothing to do with us. They can't help being excited any more than we can help wanting to barf over it (or wanting to slap them silly over it).

It's being human, it's all NORMAL, and it sucks. That's what makes this message board so great. There's going to be SOMEONE going through the exact same thing WE are at any given moment.

Hang in there, ladies.

 

[TiggerToo]

I hear you when people drag God into the conversation. He'll bless you with a baby when it's time. (I've got my own beliefs) If that were true then how come crackheads, young teens, and mothers who neglect their children are all "blessed"? God has nothing to do with it.

The whole God thing. I agree with you. All that does is sound like, "well, gee, I'd love to tell you I think you're completely inadequate, and I'm pretty sure your uterus is broken or your husband's worthless, but I'm going to soften the blow by throwing in the God element".

I'm sort of flattered that people tell me they'll pray for me, because I sincerely believe that people who say that really want to do SOMETHING and this is the best they can do. I really think these people mean well. I tell them, "I appreciate you thinking of me," and I do. Sincerely.

But the whole "He'll bless you when it's time"? No thanks. That goes a bit too far. Because that implies I'm not worthy of being blessed. My grandma used to tell me God will give me strength to help me with my struggles and that God will always listen when I need to talk, and that fits more in with the God I perceive.

No divine being of any sort that loves their creations would deem them "unworthy" of anything. Not to me, anyway. (Especially when so many religions consider the relationship as parental - "God the Father" and all that - I mean, what parent would willingly deny their kid ANYTHING that was within their power to provide, you know?) Telling me He's got my back and He hears me when I'm sad makes me feel better than telling me I'll be blessed when it's time.

I have Southern roots on my Mom's side and my grandma telling me to take my troubles to the Lord (even if I thought it made her a little kooky sometimes) made me feel better than a lot of stuff I hear now. It doesn't mean I agree or share the belief. I agree with the sentiment and appreciate what the speaker is trying to do. They want to help.

I didn't mean to get so darned philosophical. I apologize if anyone's offended as I know religion is a touchy subject. But I think that whole "bless you when it's time" is like saying a corpse at a funeral "looks so good" or "they look so natural" or other meaningless fluff. People want something to say, so they just say whatever pops into their heads. Sometimes Just Saying Nothing (capitals intentional, like A. A. Milne) is so helpful and appreciated.

 

[Starflyy]

I hate the dissapointment each month, and those days where everyone is pregnant or telling you that they are even when they weren't trying to conceive.

 

[wantanerd]

Even though I am not very religious (agnostic) I still called all my family who is religious (christain, catholic, pagan, etc) and asked them for positive energy and prayers for me. I figure it couldn't hurt.

But I do get annoyed with the God will give you a child when it's your time. I am decent person and I try to be good but just because I don't prescribe to christianity, I won't get a child unless I ask God and Jesus for help to me sounds hypocritical.

 

[Armywife84]

I hear you when people drag God into the conversation. He'll bless you with a baby when it's time. (I've got my own beliefs) If that were true then how come crackheads, young teens, and mothers who neglect their children are all "blessed"? God has nothing to do with it.

The whole God thing. I agree with you. All that does is sound like, "well, gee, I'd love to tell you I think you're completely inadequate, and I'm pretty sure your uterus is broken or your husband's worthless, but I'm going to soften the blow by throwing in the God element".

I'm sort of flattered that people tell me they'll pray for me, because I sincerely believe that people who say that really want to do SOMETHING and this is the best they can do. I really think these people mean well. I tell them, "I appreciate you thinking of me," and I do. Sincerely.

But the whole "He'll bless you when it's time"? No thanks. That goes a bit too far. Because that implies I'm not worthy of being blessed. My grandma used to tell me God will give me strength to help me with my struggles and that God will always listen when I need to talk, and that fits more in with the God I perceive.

No divine being of any sort that loves their creations would deem them "unworthy" of anything. Not to me, anyway. (Especially when so many religions consider the relationship as parental - "God the Father" and all that - I mean, what parent would willingly deny their kid ANYTHING that was within their power to provide, you know?) Telling me He's got my back and He hears me when I'm sad makes me feel better than telling me I'll be blessed when it's time.

I have Southern roots on my Mom's side and my grandma telling me to take my troubles to the Lord (even if I thought it made her a little kooky sometimes) made me feel better than a lot of stuff I hear now. It doesn't mean I agree or share the belief. I agree with the sentiment and appreciate what the speaker is trying to do. They want to help.

I didn't mean to get so darned philosophical. I apologize if anyone's offended as I know religion is a touchy subject. But I think that whole "bless you when it's time" is like saying a corpse at a funeral "looks so good" or "they look so natural" or other meaningless fluff. People want something to say, so they just say whatever pops into their heads. Sometimes Just Saying Nothing (capitals intentional, like A. A. Milne) is so helpful and appreciated.

Oh absolutely. We're definitely not trying to go against anyone's beliefs, or to defy God in any way. We just believe he has nothing to do with ttc. Our men can't even begin to understand what we're going through emotionally in this journal (some try, others avoid the topic, and they can only do so much)..so I expect God to avoid the subject all together too.

I do feel thankful when people pray for me about it..Myself, I have prayed about this journey from the beginning and I just recently gave up. I decided that God isn't ignoring me, he just can't help me because it's not his department.

Again, sorry if we offended anyone about religion. That's not our intent at all.

 

[TiggerToo]

I hear you when people drag God into the conversation. He'll bless you with a baby when it's time. (I've got my own beliefs) If that were true then how come crackheads, young teens, and mothers who neglect their children are all "blessed"? God has nothing to do with it.

The whole God thing. I agree with you. All that does is sound like, "well, gee, I'd love to tell you I think you're completely inadequate, and I'm pretty sure your uterus is broken or your husband's worthless, but I'm going to soften the blow by throwing in the God element".

I'm sort of flattered that people tell me they'll pray for me, because I sincerely believe that people who say that really want to do SOMETHING and this is the best they can do. I really think these people mean well. I tell them, "I appreciate you thinking of me," and I do. Sincerely.

But the whole "He'll bless you when it's time"? No thanks. That goes a bit too far. Because that implies I'm not worthy of being blessed. My grandma used to tell me God will give me strength to help me with my struggles and that God will always listen when I need to talk, and that fits more in with the God I perceive.

No divine being of any sort that loves their creations would deem them "unworthy" of anything. Not to me, anyway. (Especially when so many religions consider the relationship as parental - "God the Father" and all that - I mean, what parent would willingly deny their kid ANYTHING that was within their power to provide, you know?) Telling me He's got my back and He hears me when I'm sad makes me feel better than telling me I'll be blessed when it's time.

I have Southern roots on my Mom's side and my grandma telling me to take my troubles to the Lord (even if I thought it made her a little kooky sometimes) made me feel better than a lot of stuff I hear now. It doesn't mean I agree or share the belief. I agree with the sentiment and appreciate what the speaker is trying to do. They want to help.

I didn't mean to get so darned philosophical. I apologize if anyone's offended as I know religion is a touchy subject. But I think that whole "bless you when it's time" is like saying a corpse at a funeral "looks so good" or "they look so natural" or other meaningless fluff. People want something to say, so they just say whatever pops into their heads. Sometimes Just Saying Nothing (capitals intentional, like A. A. Milne) is so helpful and appreciated.

Oh absolutely. We're definitely not trying to go against anyone's beliefs, or to defy God in any way. We just believe he has nothing to do with ttc. Our men can't even begin to understand what we're going through emotionally in this journal (some try, others avoid the topic, and they can only do so much)..so I expect God to avoid the subject all together too.

I do feel thankful when people pray for me about it..Myself, I have prayed about this journey from the beginning and I just recently gave up. I decided that God isn't ignoring me, he just can't help me because it's not his department.

Again, sorry if we offended anyone about religion. That's not our intent at all.

Oh, I for one agree with you. Completely.

 

[Armywife84]

-Top Ten Sayings We TTC Don't Want to Hear-

1. "It will happen when it happens." (I'm sure we all agree that's number one)
2. "When are you two going to start having children?"
3. "I'm pregnant!" (from your friends, family members, co workers)
4. "You (or your husband's name here) are by textbook definition infertile." (I think the gyno was trying to soften the blow)
5. "You're not pregnant." (from the lab nurse who called you back with the blood test)
6. "Good things come to those who wait."
7. "Relax and it will happen."
8. "Happy Mother's Day, if you're a mother!" (I'm not, thanks for reminding me.)
9. "Your son/daughter is so adorable." (when you're holding your niece/nephew who looks nothing like you)
10. "Want to go to Babies 'r' Us with me?"

 

[Rurin]

I hear you when people drag God into the conversation. He'll bless you with a baby when it's time. (I've got my own beliefs) If that were true then how come crackheads, young teens, and mothers who neglect their children are all "blessed"? God has nothing to do with it.

The whole God thing. I agree with you. All that does is sound like, "well, gee, I'd love to tell you I think you're completely inadequate, and I'm pretty sure your uterus is broken or your husband's worthless, but I'm going to soften the blow by throwing in the God element".

I'm sort of flattered that people tell me they'll pray for me, because I sincerely believe that people who say that really want to do SOMETHING and this is the best they can do. I really think these people mean well. I tell them, "I appreciate you thinking of me," and I do. Sincerely.

But the whole "He'll bless you when it's time"? No thanks. That goes a bit too far. Because that implies I'm not worthy of being blessed. My grandma used to tell me God will give me strength to help me with my struggles and that God will always listen when I need to talk, and that fits more in with the God I perceive.

No divine being of any sort that loves their creations would deem them "unworthy" of anything. Not to me, anyway. (Especially when so many religions consider the relationship as parental - "God the Father" and all that - I mean, what parent would willingly deny their kid ANYTHING that was within their power to provide, you know?) Telling me He's got my back and He hears me when I'm sad makes me feel better than telling me I'll be blessed when it's time.

I have Southern roots on my Mom's side and my grandma telling me to take my troubles to the Lord (even if I thought it made her a little kooky sometimes) made me feel better than a lot of stuff I hear now. It doesn't mean I agree or share the belief. I agree with the sentiment and appreciate what the speaker is trying to do. They want to help.

I didn't mean to get so darned philosophical. I apologize if anyone's offended as I know religion is a touchy subject. But I think that whole "bless you when it's time" is like saying a corpse at a funeral "looks so good" or "they look so natural" or other meaningless fluff. People want something to say, so they just say whatever pops into their heads. Sometimes Just Saying Nothing (capitals intentional, like A. A. Milne) is so helpful and appreciated.

Oh absolutely. We're definitely not trying to go against anyone's beliefs, or to defy God in any way. We just believe he has nothing to do with ttc. Our men can't even begin to understand what we're going through emotionally in this journal (some try, others avoid the topic, and they can only do so much)..so I expect God to avoid the subject all together too.

I do feel thankful when people pray for me about it..Myself, I have prayed about this journey from the beginning and I just recently gave up. I decided that God isn't ignoring me, he just can't help me because it's not his department.

Again, sorry if we offended anyone about religion. That's not our intent at all.

Oh, I for one agree with you. Completely.

I am someone who follows Jesus... but I agree that platitudes about God's will re infertility and timings of things are really unhelpful. I think the bible makes it clear that it's always God's will that couples should be able to have children if they want them. If women aren't able to conceive, it's because the world is broken and things don't always happen the way God wants them to.

I disagree that he doesn't care about our infertility though. There are quite a few stories of women in the bible who struggled to have kids and it really encourages me that they took their pain to God and shared it with him. One woman called Hannah prayed 'in great anguish and grief'. I love that I don't have to hide those deep painful times from him and can be honest and raw with how I feel.

I don't know for sure if I will get the desire of my heart - in the same way that I don't know for sure if friends of mine who want to be healed of other physical stuff will be. But I believe that God's strength will see me through, whatever happens and hope that his will will be done on earth as in heaven.

 

[Rivetkitten]

-Top Ten Sayings We TTC Don't Want to Hear-

1. "It will happen when it happens." (I'm sure we all agree that's number one)
2. "When are you two going to start having children?"
3. "I'm pregnant!" (from your friends, family members, co workers)
4. "You (or your husband's name here) are by textbook definition infertile." (I think the gyno was trying to soften the blow)
5. "You're not pregnant." (from the lab nurse who called you back with the blood test)
6. "Good things come to those who wait."
7. "Relax and it will happen."
8. "Happy Mother's Day, if you're a mother!" (I'm not, thanks for reminding me.)
9. "Your son/daughter is so adorable." (when you're holding your niece/nephew who looks nothing like you)
10. "Want to go to Babies 'r' Us with me?"

You forgot one...

11. What you need to do, is have sex during your fertile times of your month. /head desk/

 

[readyformore]

-Top Ten Sayings We TTC Don't Want to Hear-

1. "It will happen when it happens." (I'm sure we all agree that's number one)
2. "When are you two going to start having children?"
3. "I'm pregnant!" (from your friends, family members, co workers)
4. "You (or your husband's name here) are by textbook definition infertile." (I think the gyno was trying to soften the blow)
5. "You're not pregnant." (from the lab nurse who called you back with the blood test)
6. "Good things come to those who wait."
7. "Relax and it will happen."
8. "Happy Mother's Day, if you're a mother!" (I'm not, thanks for reminding me.)
9. "Your son/daughter is so adorable." (when you're holding your niece/nephew who looks nothing like you)
10. "Want to go to Babies 'r' Us with me?"

You forgot one...

11. What you need to do, is have sex during your fertile times of your month. /head desk/

That one literally made me giggle. Thanks. I've gotten that one a lot too.

 

[Armywife84]

I hear you when people drag God into the conversation. He'll bless you with a baby when it's time. (I've got my own beliefs) If that were true then how come crackheads, young teens, and mothers who neglect their children are all "blessed"? God has nothing to do with it.

The whole God thing. I agree with you. All that does is sound like, "well, gee, I'd love to tell you I think you're completely inadequate, and I'm pretty sure your uterus is broken or your husband's worthless, but I'm going to soften the blow by throwing in the God element".

I'm sort of flattered that people tell me they'll pray for me, because I sincerely believe that people who say that really want to do SOMETHING and this is the best they can do. I really think these people mean well. I tell them, "I appreciate you thinking of me," and I do. Sincerely.

But the whole "He'll bless you when it's time"? No thanks. That goes a bit too far. Because that implies I'm not worthy of being blessed. My grandma used to tell me God will give me strength to help me with my struggles and that God will always listen when I need to talk, and that fits more in with the God I perceive.

No divine being of any sort that loves their creations would deem them "unworthy" of anything. Not to me, anyway. (Especially when so many religions consider the relationship as parental - "God the Father" and all that - I mean, what parent would willingly deny their kid ANYTHING that was within their power to provide, you know?) Telling me He's got my back and He hears me when I'm sad makes me feel better than telling me I'll be blessed when it's time.

I have Southern roots on my Mom's side and my grandma telling me to take my troubles to the Lord (even if I thought it made her a little kooky sometimes) made me feel better than a lot of stuff I hear now. It doesn't mean I agree or share the belief. I agree with the sentiment and appreciate what the speaker is trying to do. They want to help.

I didn't mean to get so darned philosophical. I apologize if anyone's offended as I know religion is a touchy subject. But I think that whole "bless you when it's time" is like saying a corpse at a funeral "looks so good" or "they look so natural" or other meaningless fluff. People want something to say, so they just say whatever pops into their heads. Sometimes Just Saying Nothing (capitals intentional, like A. A. Milne) is so helpful and appreciated.

Oh absolutely. We're definitely not trying to go against anyone's beliefs, or to defy God in any way. We just believe he has nothing to do with ttc. Our men can't even begin to understand what we're going through emotionally in this journal (some try, others avoid the topic, and they can only do so much)..so I expect God to avoid the subject all together too.

I do feel thankful when people pray for me about it..Myself, I have prayed about this journey from the beginning and I just recently gave up. I decided that God isn't ignoring me, he just can't help me because it's not his department.

Again, sorry if we offended anyone about religion. That's not our intent at all.

Oh, I for one agree with you. Completely.

I am someone who follows Jesus... but I agree that platitudes about God's will re infertility and timings of things are really unhelpful. I think the bible makes it clear that it's always God's will that couples should be able to have children if they want them. If women aren't able to conceive, it's because the world is broken and things don't always happen the way God wants them to.

I disagree that he doesn't care about our infertility though. There are quite a few stories of women in the bible who struggled to have kids and it really encourages me that they took their pain to God and shared it with him. One woman called Hannah prayed 'in great anguish and grief'. I love that I don't have to hide those deep painful times from him and can be honest and raw with how I feel.

I don't know for sure if I will get the desire of my heart - in the same way that I don't know for sure if friends of mine who want to be healed of other physical stuff will be. But I believe that God's strength will see me through, whatever happens and hope that his will will be done on earth as in heaven.

Hey, we're all entitled to our own beliefs. If we were all the same, what an incredibly boring world this would be.

Good luck in your journey!

 

[Armywife84]

-Top Ten Sayings We TTC Don't Want to Hear-

1. "It will happen when it happens." (I'm sure we all agree that's number one)
2. "When are you two going to start having children?"
3. "I'm pregnant!" (from your friends, family members, co workers)
4. "You (or your husband's name here) are by textbook definition infertile." (I think the gyno was trying to soften the blow)
5. "You're not pregnant." (from the lab nurse who called you back with the blood test)
6. "Good things come to those who wait."
7. "Relax and it will happen."
8. "Happy Mother's Day, if you're a mother!" (I'm not, thanks for reminding me.)
9. "Your son/daughter is so adorable." (when you're holding your niece/nephew who looks nothing like you)
10. "Want to go to Babies 'r' Us with me?"

You forgot one...

11. What you need to do, is have sex during your fertile times of your month. /head desk/

How could I forget that one??? Lmao. I just give them a tight smile, and say "Really? I'll have to start doing that".

 

[Armywife84]

I HATE...

"Thought we would make it Facebook official, Baby(insert last name here) due (whatever date next year)."

I thought a simple phone call, or mass text would do. Stupid Mark Zuckerberg for creating FB.