tempted to talk to FOB....I'm gonna cry!

[trashit]

i haven't readded him, just unblocked him so he can now see me if he searches for me, but cant see any of my profile other than my profile picture and name cos ive privatised it all. He could have already seen Jude for all i know. But i dont want him in Jude's life and i made that perfectly clear, he has no right But i cant help but be dying to let him know Jude's here lol. I'm just petrified of the outcome... x

 

[shelx]

i dont know of all the things hes done but if youre comfortable with it i dont see why you shouldnt get in touch with him? just do what you think is best for baby jude
xx

 

[Mummy2Asher]

i understand how u feel, i actually fought for a year for ash to see FOB becuase i also felt bad and didnt want ash to blame me for not having a dad, it was a year of hell! i got so much abuse! he wanted nothing to do with him and now i look back and thought i was an idiot! he does not want a son and does not DESERVE a son.
ive not connected myself in anyway to him now, no maintenance money or anything. but everyones situation is different, at the end of the day he should want to be in his sons life and by not contacting you i think thats saying alot.
dont feel sorry for your son, my son and me are even more close and have such a great bond, i dont feel like hes missed out....he now has my OH who he loves to play footy with etc but at the end of the day he always wants to come and cuddle me and talk.
xxx

 

[QuintinsMommy]

I alway so understand how you feel, FOB doesn't have fb but I msged his sister and mom, his sister answered saying Quintin doesn't look like FOB and that He probs isn't his!
but Quintin looks alot like FOB so whatever, his mom never answered
sometimes I email FOB updated pictures, I know he never goes on his email, but maybe one day he will ...

 

[trashit]

thanks girlies
i just look at him and think "what a dick" i cant help it, hes such a tithead. I'll give Jude all the love i can, it just seems to me that he'll always think theres something missing not having a father figure...
I dont think ill tell him.. cos ill probably wake up tomorrow and think OH NO! lol

 

[futuremommy91]

i dont want it to lead to anything else heh. It definitely is just curiousity! but you know what they say about that...
Thanks everyone
my mum would KILL me if she knew i'd just unblocked him lol.
He still has the baby photo album with the scan photo.....
my little brothers (eleven years old) commented on it-
"you got my sister pregnant then ran off and left her you dick"
LMAO.

LOL!
Your brother sounds like a fine little man

I'd just email him saying that his son is here, along with a pic. And if he doesn't answer when he sees his son, then you can know for sure. I agree with the others- be prepared for the worst hun.

And Jude has a WONDERFUL mother. The fact that you carried him and brought him into this world despite how difficult it may be speaks truckloads of how much you love him. And that is more than enough. And it does sound like Jude has a lovely grandma and uncle

One day you'll meet a guy who will love you and Jude like he is the FOB, but for now Jude has many people in his life who love him no matter what and will do anything for him. And that's pretty great.

 

[trashit]

aww thats really lovely thankyou!
well i sent him a pic and just put 7.3.10

 

[Mellie1988]

Awww hun, sounds like similar situation to my sister....my nephew was born and my sister felt like you, sorry for my nephew for not having a daddy, so she messaged him and he just ignored it....she even invited him to his 1st birthday party (he still hadn't seen him or anything or even asked about him) over facebook on an event invitation thing and straight away he came up in the "not attending" box...hes a complete knob and my nephew is better off without him!!

Anyway, just thought i'd share that story, my nephew is 2 now and my sister is doin a fab job, shes a mummy and daddy in one and thats all the lil man wants...all that love for mummy!!
I know that you are gonna be a fab mummy, you can tell already from your piccies, Jude looks adorable, and just think, u will get all the cuddles and kisses and you wont have to share him with anyone!!

I hope you get the outcome you want from the message hun
x

 

[trashit]

im sorry your sister had to go through it its horrible, i dont wish it on anyone, i just wish men had to be as responsible as us women! its so unjustified. well he did me the BIGGEST favour in leaving, hes such a gimp he's one of them exes you look at and think "why didnt someone punch me?!" (soo glad Jude takes after me, i'd DIE if he looked anything like FOB thats mean isnt it?! lol)
i've let him know now anyway, so we'll see if i get ignored or i get some kind of respsonse. wouldn't surprise me if i either get blanked or i get "fuck off" again.. im not really sure what sort of response i want, or if i even want a response. I just wanted him to know, im curious as to whether he ever thinks of him.. he must do, surely?! x

 

[princess_vix]

I think you should just let him know,see what happens hun x

 

[Jadelm]

Oooo I'm curious now too (or just plain nosey ) let us know how it goes honey xxx

 

[trashit]

i'll be sure to, i'd laugh if i get a nasty response, that'll make my day!x

 

[xMissxZoiex]

I Hope everything turns out ok, i would be nice for Jude if his Father/Sperm Donar would show him the attention he deserves but you are doing great on your own! And all Jude Needs is you! I think you have done the right thing sending him a picture of him.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[samface182]

i really don't know what advice to give you ellie.. cos i dunno the whole situation.
but if he isn't bothering to contact you, then he cant be that fussed
only YOU can make this decision, for both you and jude.
your doing an amazing job, being a mummy to gorgeous jude
i know you have prob bein thinking about this constantly, but all you can do is think about it both ways.
will he be a good father to jude?
everything will work out hun

 

[cabaretmum2b]

I think you've done the right thing by sending him a picture and the date...now the ball's in his court and it's up to him what to do. If he doesn't reply or he's nasty, then it's clear that that's that. If not...well, you might be able to get child maintenence out of him or something Seriously, though, at least you'll know he cares, and you'll be able to tell Jude that, too. You're obviously perfectly capable of looking after him, though, and you're doing such a fantastic job, you shouldn't feel bad about FOB not being there, because it's his own fault!

 

[debsxhim]

Normally I would say that every father deserves the right to know about their children, but from what I've read I really don't think he deserves anything! If he knows your number, or knows where you live, or knows someone who knows you, then he has no excuse not to speak to you. I guess a picture and the name and date of birth wouldn't hurt. You could just say your son, send it, then block him again. If that gets him in a better state of mind maybe he will try talking to you just to see how Judes doing.

Good luck, dear!

 

[nightkd]

Haha! Your brother's comment is hilarious!! Go him!!

I think sending him the pic with the DOB is fair enough, then if anything happens later on, he can't say you didn't even tell him he was born - it's given him the chance to see his child and comment. Hope he's not a dick.

xx

 

[trashit]

i'm not "shutting him out" he left and chose not to be a part of Jude's life, and i told him he can't suddenly jump on back in now, he's made his decision and he'll have to live with it. He's not responsible enough to look after a rat, let alone my son.

Anyway. So he replied with-

Thank you SO much. You didn't want me to be in touch but I just needed to know that everything was ok with baby. Thanks for that. Is he called Dexter? I haven't forgotten your picture, will send as soon as I have the money. This afternoons works just gone out the window. Head up my arse moment. Congratulations. I really do wish you both the very best from the bottom of my heart.
Things between us didn't work out how I had hoped. I want you to know I'm extremely proud of you. It's just so amazing.


So i'm not completely furious. Angry that he didn't comment on how beautiful Jude is though although saying that, i wouldn't expect him to he's never been the most enthusiastic of people... So there we are lol.

 

[cabaretmum2b]

Oh, thank goodness for that. That response could have been a LOT worse, and now you know where he stands with it all. He obviously cares to an extent about you and Jude, even if he didn't before. At least now you don't have to worry about him any more. Well done

 

[aiimee12345]

ellie u no its not stupid.. if u want to then do it! at least then u can say when jude's older u tried even if FOB doesnt want to no least u tried to do something bout it!!
& u havent changed ur number so its his fault... but hun if u want to then do it ... x