The 1st Time Mummy Club

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by Tsia, Apr 24, 2009.

  1. Tsia

    Tsia My MyloMan - he turned 1!

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    Are you gonna be a 1st Time Mummy?
    :crib:

    What is the pregnancy experience like for you? Anything like you expected? better? worse?


    For me, its much better than what I thought it would be like. I usually see a pregnant lady hobbling along holding her back and thought pregnancy would be a nitemare but I am actually quite enjoying it! (so far)


    Are people giving you all sorts of advice just because your gonna be a mum for the first time?

    Well.. :huh: I am getting a bit pi$$ed off with people telling me this and that. I am sure I will cope.. I am not stoooopid! ..nor the only 1st time mummy in the world that has to learn and I wont be the last so stop pushing your ideas onto me about what you did with yours!! Especially the M.I.L!!!!


    Have you bought all new stuff or gone for secondhand/bargain hunting?


    I wanted to go get everything new originally.. but my head ruled my heart.. so have been ebaying, freecycling and carbooting and have managed to get everything.. for a combined £350-400!!:happydance: I am proud of myself really. A lot of mums say to me.. oh my 2nd/3rd I had a lot anyways still left over.. but we havent! this stuff can cost an arm and a leg if you let it!

    Did you find out the sex or want the first to be a suprise for your first?


    seeing as I have none of either yet and OH wants the suspense.. I said I would sacrifice not knowing til the day.. but deep down I wanna go to my next scan without him and find out on the sly! lol


    And is there anything else you didnt realise what would happen to your body before you became pregnant?

    Oh yes.. :saywhat: I had no clue that we bled for so long afterwards or that our nipples would spring into leaky action before the baby is even here!! GROSS!!!! :sick:


    And are you scared of how your Labour will turn out?

    yep.. secretly I am terrified! Birth plan? WTF?? I left school for a reason! And anything I worry about I am on the phone to MW straight away! :telephone: she hates me I reckon! lol



    :shy:

    The joy of the experience first time round.... NICE!
    What we women go through to keep this world turning eh? Geez. :rofl:
     
  2. djgirl1976

    djgirl1976 Expecting our 1st

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    Yay! I am a first timer! I want to answer, too!

    What is the pregnancy experience like for you? Anything like you expected? better? worse?
    Not so bad, but the first few weeks of lifestyle change were rough. Never got as sick as I expected but have had more "pains" than expected. Probably pretty similar to what I was thinking it would be, so far, anyway.

    Are people giving you all sorts of advice just because your gonna be a mum for the first time?
    OMG, MIL from Hell. Keeps telling me baby must wear a hat at all times? WTF? I know you need to keep them covered, but I hate hats myself, and will not be putting one on baby 24/7 despite what she says.

    Have you bought all new stuff or gone for secondhand/bargain hunting?
    Haven't bought a thing. Have lots of friends with kids that have offered to give me this and that. We'll see more when I know what the baby will "be" and I start buying.

    Did you find out the sex or want the first to be a suprise for your first?
    Just answered that question. Finding out I was preggers was surprise enough for me!

    And is there anything else you didnt realise would happen to your body before you became pregnant?
    I also didn't know about the bleeding. And the sharp pains I have in the groin and boobies. WTF? I had no idea.

    And are you scared of how your Labour will turn out?
    Not so much, but then again, I know that things usually don't go as planned and to expect the unexpected!
     
  3. Cazza89

    Cazza89 Mummy of 1,expecting no.2

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    1. better than i expected, i'm enjoying it mostly. Didn't know it would be so worrying though! Every little pain, cramp etc i get worried about!

    2. No one's given me advice. Well, the only thing i had was to be told to keep baby in it's cot and not my bed which i'd not do anyway!! Mum just asks what i'm going to do about this and that but doesn't force anything on me at all. If i ask her advice, she just says 'it's up to you'. Yeah, thanks mum! Great advice when you need it. Haha.

    3. All new apart from moses baskets.

    4. Will be finding out the sex Tuesday.

    5. The bleeding for so long afterwards. The slight ache in your you get after walking lots. The sharp pain in the boobies (although this stopped a long time ago)

    6. I'm a bit worried. I don't do pain well but i think i'll surprise myself! I'm more worried about people seeing me 'down there' and tearing or being cut. X
     
  4. chrisi

    chrisi 1st Trimester

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    Hey.. I too am a first time mummy!

    I now cant remember the questions! :rofl: anyway i'll try and answer them...

    Yes i found out the sex, i couldnt help myself but im so glad i know, i was convinced it was a girl and guess what its a BOY! It was a nice surprize and i love him already, i cant stop looking at his scan pics! :cloud9:

    Yeah everyone has been getting ther "i would do this or you should do that" but i dont really pay much attention as im quite determined and do my own thing anyway, and anyone who knows me will know this! :rofl:

    I didnt have anyone around to get 2nd hand things and my mum, MIL, sister and sister in law all offered to buy us something which was really nice so I have went for all new things! I have already put deposits on my red quinny pram package, white sleigh cot, white crib, changing station and highchair and ive bought my steriiser and johnstone baby box! I know im a bit of an organiser, and just cant help myself!

    I think its been good so far, never had any sickness atall so im blessed! Just get tired but hey who doesnt! I honesltly have had a good time of it so far and I hope it continues! Its just really strange getting fatter and getting up to find no clothes fit you any more but thats to be expected i suppose! Well see if im still saying this when i get nearer the time though! haha! Ive heard that its in 3rd tri were it gets really tough! :cry:.

    Oh yea..labour... Im not so worried trying not to think about it i suppose and all ill be thinking about at that time is that i wanna see my lil boy! that will keep me going! xx

    Sorry thats all i can remember to answer! good thread! xx
     
  5. sweetcheeks85

    sweetcheeks85 Well-Known Member

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    First time Mummy Here too :cloud9:

    What is the pregnancy experience like for you? Anything like you expected? better? worse?

    On the whole I am enjoying the pregnancy experience, loving the bump and the kicks from peanut. The only downside is the worrying which has accompained me all the way through so far.

    Are people giving you all sorts of advice just because your gonna be a mum for the first time?

    Not so much advice more snide comments like 'do you realise what u have let urself in for' or 'thats ure life over kinda thing lol. This really annoys me as it usually comes from ppl that have kids and its almost like they cant be happy for you.

    Have you bought all new stuff or gone for secondhand/bargain hunting?

    Everything Ive bought so far has been new, however I have accepted a few hand me downs.

    Did you find out the sex or want the first to be a suprise for your first?

    We havent found out yet but plan to at our 24 week scan. To be honest meeting my baby for the first time will be enough of an experience for me, knowing whether its a she or a he will not ruin the experience in my eyes.

    And is there anything else you didnt realise what would happen to your body before you became pregnant?

    Yeah I was pretty suprised to hear bout the bleeding for ages after birth too!!

    And are you scared of how your Labour will turn out?

    At the moment Im not scared of the labour at all, maybe even quite looking forward to it.....Ask me again when im huge :rofl:
     
  6. djgirl1976

    djgirl1976 Expecting our 1st

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    I have had a few of these comments, too. For God's sake, I am in my thirties. Do they not think I have watched enough people raise children and had plenty of time to do "my own thing"? I think it is pretty annoying when people tell me they have a hard time seeing me with a kid. Grrrr...rude!
     
  7. aimee-lou

    aimee-lou Totally Outnumbered!!

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    First time mummy's club is a fab idea!!

    What is the pregnancy experience like for you? Anything like you expected? better? worse?
    The experience so far has been very 'normal' actually. I don't know what I expected but I have just been very chilled. Yes I get pains and cramps and I worry about stuff but even hubby has commented that I'm just taking things in my stride. I haven't done it intentionally, I'm just really enjoying being pregnant and I feel fine.

    Are people giving you all sorts of advice just because your gonna be a mum for the first time?
    No-one is giving us advice because we are first time parents. I just think they like to stick their noses in. A few people have given us some words of wisdom which have helped but I generally try to ignore people saying 'you should do this' because what's right for one may be wrong for another.

    Have you bought all new stuff or gone for secondhand/bargain hunting?
    We haven't started shopping yet but I think the vast majority will be new but not brand names. A few bits and bobs will come off ebay and 2nd hand but we have no hand-me-downs from family. People are offering to buy things though which is a great help!

    Did you find out the sex or want the first to be a suprise for your first?
    We are firmly in team Yellow. We want it to be a surprise well and truly. Although bubs may have different ideas! :rofl:

    And is there anything else you didnt realise would happen to your body before you became pregnant?
    I think I was quite niave to the whole thing when I became pregnant. We fell very quickly and now I look at it, I know it's going to be hard work, especially later on and after birth. But, it's all natural, every woman has a body that is capable....I've just got to learn to see it all as a good thing.

    And are you scared of how your Labour will turn out?
    My word yes! I guess I have an idea of what I would like and another of what I expect. They are so vastly different -I feel a little out of control about the whole thing tbh....but I'm sure it will be fine. (keep smiling! :) )
     
  8. cinnamongirl

    cinnamongirl Guest

    1. So far, pregnancy has been very exciting for me. I have been the most insane worrier though! Everytime I turn around it's like I hear another thing that we shouldn't eat, do, etc...and it's really getting too much!

    2. No one has given me any advice and that's the way I like it! Some of my girlfriends have been trying to scare me about labour and such, but...they can cuz they've been thru it! But, I think that most people who know me know better than to tell me anything I haven't asked them for!

    3. Well, since I lost my job last November, things have been really tight in our world, so I would love to have everything sparkly and new...especially since I believe this will be my only child, but it's just not possible. I am not opposed to second hand for most stuff, but for safety related items, I refuse used.

    4. I am absolutely convinced that she will be a she! I have been dreaming of having a daughter since I was much younger, and I am hoping that will be a reality! I will find out at my next scan if my 'mother's intuition' was right or not!

    5. I think it's a pretty clear consensus that no one told us about all the bleeding!

    6. I am really looking forward to labour (I'm sick!)...I'm hoping to have a waterbirth, and that's a religious/spiritual choice as much as it's a medical choice, so I can't wait to share that experience with my LO! But, u know...as I get bigger, the fear might set in! I just hope Peanut doesn't have a huge head! :rofl:
     
  9. 10thSept

    10thSept Mummy to one

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    What is the pregnancy experience like for you? Anything like you expected? better? worse?

    I have to admit, I'm actually not loving being pregnant as much as I thought I would - I'm loving that I'm going to be having baby, but hated the nausea, which was all day for me and I haven't gotten to grips with my hormones at all, so I feel really low a lot of the time. I am also a MAJOR worrier, so I'm stressing all the time about whether or not the baby is ok.

    The worst is how much it has made me dislike other people, their judgments and comments about what I should and shouldn't be doing whilst pregnant and when I have a baby - I'm already sooo protective!!

    Hate wanting to cry ALL the time!!!!!

    not a fan of the fact that I've put on a lot of weight, am so bad at controlling what I eat and am just looking fat rather than pregnant.

    Oh and the fact that my fitness has gone down the tube - I'm always out of breath!!

    Are people giving you all sorts of advice just because your gonna be a mum for the first time?

    ugh, soooo much advice.
    On pregnancy - don't eat yoghurt, don't eat nuts??!!!, don't take any medication (even paracetamol and gaviscon!!!!) - MIL.
    don't tell anyone until 4th month because baby might die??!!!
    don't go to ante natal classes, they're dumb
    don't have private scans, what a waste of money (without even knowing what they're for - like a nuchal not provided by my hospital!)
    don't use a doppler
    don't find out the sex/do find out the sex
    the list gos on....

    as for being a mum, lot's of you have all this to come, just wait until your child does this to you (from my mum!)
    keep the baby in your bed/ keep the baby in a cot
    you must breastfeed/ don't breast feed you'll lose your boobs
    you have to keep your baby on it's tummy, not it's back
    don't bother listening to all the advice on how much you should pick up the baby/ how to sleep the baby - it's all nonsense

    Have you bought all new stuff or gone for secondhand/bargain hunting?

    not bought anything yet, not going to until 24 weeks. No one has offered us anything second hand and so likely to be mostly new.

    Did you find out the sex or want the first to be a suprise for your first?

    we went for a scan to find out (again, our hospital doesn't tell us the sex at the 20 week scan) - we both always thought it was a girl, I had a girl in my dreams and I realllly wanted a little princess to dress up!!

    And is there anything else you didnt realise what would happen to your body before you became pregnant?

    ooh, i didn't realise morning sickness is all day, that you get stabbing pains in your nipples, the SERIOUS heartburn, how much you go off certain foods (knew about cravings, but not about going off stuff), how much your sense of smell sharpens, the MUCH more than usual discharge (sorry, tmi), how much you worry!, the bleeding of course!, the blue veins on my boobs, the fact that there is tearing or cutting involved!!! and how long it takes some people to recover from a Csection.

    And are you scared of how your Labour will turn out?

    PETRIFIED!!!
     
  10. tillymum

    tillymum New mom

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    First time mummy here too!

    What is the pregnancy experience like for you? Anything like you expected? better? worse?

    First 16wks were horrible with spotting/bleeding on and off and worrying myself sick! We didn't make it public until 18wks! Since then i've calmed down and decided to enjoy the pregnancy and i'm loving my bump and little kicks, though I still worry too much.!

    Are people giving you all sorts of advice just because your gonna be a mum for the first time?

    Not so much advise just unwanted comments, like MIL KEEPS telling me how i'm going to have a huge baby cos DH was big!
    I had to tell a friend to shut up as she insisted on telling me all the things that can go wrong at the end - I don't want to know!! and I'll deal with whatever happens if and when it happens thanks!
    Other than that it's been ok.


    Have you bought all new stuff or gone for secondhand/bargain hunting?

    Got a crib and baby chair off my sister, Will be buying everything else new, though will gladly accept anything anyone offers so long as it looks decent and works.


    Did you find out the sex or want the first to be a suprise for your first?

    Want the first to be a surprise, though we are both convinced it's a boy! We'll get a shock if it turns out to be a girl! A nice shock though!


    And is there anything else you didnt realise what would happen to your body before you became pregnant?

    I never realised my nipples would be so sore! Bloomin heck they drive me nuts! I knew about the bleeding thing and am not too worried about that. I didn't realise that the milk takes a few days to come through and hurts for a while! The stretching pains - wasn't expecting them though it makes sense! Ask me again in 3 months and i'll probably have another list:dohh:


    And are you scared of how your Labour will turn out?

    YES - terrified!!! trying not to think about it too much TBH! I'm not one for pain so i'll be accepting any drugs thank you very much! I'm worried about how long it will be and if it will get stuck! Ahhh!
     
  11. nattshants

    nattshants 1st time Mum to be!

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    What is the pregnancy experience like for you? Anything like you expected? better? worse?

    AS SOON AS I TURNED 6 WEEKS I WAS HIT WITH THE MOST AWFAL SICKNESS 15 TIMES A DAY, ADMITTED TO HOSP FOR A DRIP & I NEVER IMAGINED ANYTHING WORSE.

    FROM 20 WEEKS I AM NOW LOVING IT AND WOULD DO IT AGAIN AND NOT CHANGE A THING.



    Are people giving you all sorts of advice just because your gonna be a mum for the first time?

    HEAPS!! IM AVOIDING MY SISTER IN LAW-WHO'S EXPECTING HER 3RD!!!


    Have you bought all new stuff or gone for secondhand/bargain hunting?

    LOTS OF BARGAINS, GOT A STOKKE BRAND NEW FOR £50!!
    RESTORED MY PARENTS HUGE SILVERCROSS THEY HAD FOR MY BROTHER AND I. -IM MADLY IN LOVE WITH MY VINTAGE SILVER CROSS!!

    ALSO BOUGHT NEW...IE. COTBED, QUINNY....CLOTHES AND BLANKETS ETC.


    Did you find out the sex or want the first to be a suprise for your first?

    WE THINK WE SAW A WILLY ON OUR 21 WEEK SCAN LAST WEEK!

    WE DIDN'T ASK FOR IT TO BE CONFIRMED THOUGH.



    And is there anything else you didnt realise what would happen to your body before you became pregnant?

    I THOUGHT I'D BE HUGE, I'M 22 WEEKS AND STILL IN MY SIZE 8 JEANS! MAD!!!


    And are you scared of how your Labour will turn out?

    I'M SCARED OF THE LACK OF CONTROL. I'M SCARED ILL CALL MY HUSBAND SUCH HORRID THINGS!! I JUST WANT THE BABY SAFE & IN MY ARMS.
     
  12. rivanprincess

    rivanprincess Happy family of four!

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    First Time Mom here too!

    What is the pregnancy experience like for you? Anything like you expected? better? worse?

    I expected more, which is weird I know, but I didn't really have any morning sickness and haven't had any crazy hormonal moments or anything. I feel kind of let down lol!:rofl: Things have been great and I'm just so excited about it and that my DH is excited about it too! Another great thing is one of my best friends is pregnant too and due on the same day (crazy and unexpected!) so its been fantastic going thru this with her at the same time!

    Are people giving you all sorts of advice just because your gonna be a mum for the first time?

    OMG yes!! I work at a childrens hospital as a nurse so all the parents and my co workers are telling my all sorts of things that I should and shouldn't do or to watch out for this and that to happen. I spend a lot of time around children so I think I can handle one little one on my own thanks!

    Have you bought all new stuff or gone for secondhand/bargain hunting?

    Well, a good mix actually. My DH's co worker has given us a whole bunch of stuff from her second that was born last year, stroller, car seat, bouncy chair, bath, nursing pillow, extra crib sheets... and a bunch more. But we have bought some new stuff too, crib, dresser, rocking chair etc.

    Did you find out the sex or want the first to be a suprise for your first?

    We found out we are having a girl! Which is fantastic and DH is sooo exited! I am surprised at how many people give their opinion on whether you find out or not.

    And is there anything else you didnt realise what would happen to your body before you became pregnant?

    I have seen a bunch of labour and deliveries with my nurses training and having to learn all about it to teach to others so I'm pretty framiliar with the whole process. It's been interesting seeing it happen to my own body though.


    And are you scared of how your Labour will turn out?

    Not really, like I said I've seen it a bunch of times and I know every labour is different so I'm just going to go with the flow and see what happens. Plus I'm not afraid to speak up to my medical staff and say I want this or that now and not let them make all the decisions about the labour for me.
     
  13. Tsia

    Tsia My MyloMan - he turned 1!

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    some of these are so great! Keep 'em coming girlies!
     
  14. bird24

    bird24 Mummy to Sophie

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    Yep i'm a first time mummy too

    What is the pregnancy experience like for you? Anything like you expected? better? worse?

    i'm loving it.....loving my bump growing and cant wait to start feeling the baby moving and kicking so that daddy can feel it too

    Are people giving you all sorts of advice just because your gonna be a mum for the first time?

    yep they are.....some good and some bad....i like to hear about other peoples labour experiences

    Have you bought all new stuff or gone for secondhand/bargain hunting?

    i have a second-hand moses basket and i'm going to the birmingham babyshow in may but i will be looking for some bargains on ebay too

    Did you find out the sex or want the first to be a suprise for your first?


    we arent gonna find out the sex as i'd like a surprise

    And is there anything else you didnt realise what would happen to your body before you became pregnant?

    i didnt know my boobs would leak before the birth....didnt know i had to deliver the placenta after the baby....probably didnt know other things too but i cant think right now


    And are you scared of how your Labour will turn out?

    Yep !!!! i have no idea what i'm gonna write down for my birth plan as cant decide at all and its all so scary!!!

    :hug:
     
  15. AP

    AP Well-Known Member
    Moderator

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    What is the pregnancy experience like for you? Anything like you expected? better? worse?

    Its worse in most aspects. I don't actually know what I was expecting, but my sickness keeps returning and I am coping with awful headaches. Other people make it look so easy! thats not to say i don't enjoy any of it, i love feeling LO moving around! I cry a lot, sometimes it is an awful lot to be dealing with in my head at the moment and I do sometimes have awful thoughts that I hate myself for.

    Are people giving you all sorts of advice just because your gonna be a mum for the first time?

    Good advice, but I've only heard good advice about dealing with my pregnancy. Havent had any advice when it comes to baby, and its daunting!

    Have you bought all new stuff or gone for secondhand/bargain hunting?

    I havent really bought anything as I wanted to wait until my 20 week scan. I will take a bit of both to be honest!

    Did you find out the sex or want the first to be a suprise for your first?

    I'm going to find out on Monday. i just want to know, and so does OH.

    And is there anything else you didnt realise what would happen to your body before you became pregnant?

    Hmmm, just the part that I heard nipples can leak when we hear a baby cry. Which means i'm screwed as I work near babies.


    And are you scared of how your Labour will turn out?

    YES. But I'm more annoyed about the length of time I will be in hospital, i like my home comforts.
     
  16. steph1505

    steph1505 Well-Known Member

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    What is the pregnancy experience like for you? Anything like you expected? better? worse?

    Ive actually found being pregnant quite enjoyable! I didnt expect it to feel so amazing when Peanut kicks! So...so far...Im loving being pregnant!

    Are people giving you all sorts of advice just because your gonna be a mum for the first time?

    I dont know what it is about people that when they see a pregnant woman they feel they have to share all their opinions! I dont care about whether or not you think I should breastfeed or bottlefeed...I'll do what I want!!

    Have you bought all new stuff or gone for secondhand/bargain hunting?

    So far...all weve got it a pram and a bath...and as there are no babies in the family weve had to buy them new!

    Did you find out the sex or want the first to be a suprise for your first?

    We weren't sure about finding out the sex...but at the scan, little Peanut just couldnt hide his little 'thing' and we found out that its a boy! It would never had made a difference to me...all I wanted was a happy and healthy baby!!


    And is there anything else you didnt realise what would happen to your body before you became pregnant?

    I didnt realise the effect it would have on my hair! Its so greasy!


    And are you scared of how your Labour will turn out?

    Im not scared...just more interested in what its like!! Heard mixed reviews from people!! I just wonder what it feels like...although, I do imagine it to be bloody painful!!
     
  17. HeidiLSparks

    HeidiLSparks Mom of 2 & 1 on the way!

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    First time momma here!!! :cloud9: Can not wait for my baby girl :cloud9:


    What is the pregnancy experience like for you? Anything like you expected? better? worse?

    This pregnancy so far has been one issue after another. I had morning sickness from about 9 weeks to 19 weeks and then it just came back today, HORRIBLE. I had to stop the car to throw up on the side of the road haha.
    I got acne sooo bad and dry skin. My hair fell out in chunks and I gained a lot of weight so far. My back and my feet hurt beyond a pain that anyone could imagine, and I can no longer see my vagina when I take a bath, so Im sure its quite the amazon jungle down there. I cry at everything and its very hard. Everyone I knew just had that amazing glow and I dont. haha It's all worth it though.

    Are people giving you all sorts of advice just because your gonna be a mum for the first time?

    It bugs me so much, everyone thinks that I ask for their crappy advice and I don't. I am not brain dead some things are common sense. I know they want to help, but they can be sooo pushy.

    Have you bought all new stuff or gone for secondhand/bargain hunting?

    Her crib, carseat, stroller, bouncer, bottles, etc all new. Some clothes I got at a garage sale or little kids used stores for 50 cents to a dollar. Couldnt turn it down haha.

    Did you find out the sex or want the first to be a suprise for your first?

    I found out, baby girl :D :cloud9: I couldnt help it, I just wanted to know sooo bad.


    And is there anything else you didnt realise what would happen to your body before you became pregnant?
    I agree with the leaky boobies haha. AND discharge, sooo nasty.


    And are you scared of how your Labour will turn out?

    Oh lord yes haha. I hope it goes by sooo quick and I know it wont haha. I try not to think about it or I almost pass out in fear :/
     
  18. K477uk

    K477uk Mum of One!

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    What is the pregnancy experience like for you? Anything like you expected? better? worse?

    I'm quite enjoying the fact that I am pregnant, it is most certainly better than what I thought it was going to be - mainly because I managed to aviod the sickness! I think I imagined it to be worse than it is, although there is still time!

    Are people giving you all sorts of advice just because your gonna be a mum for the first time?

    Not really... I wondering if that will come later!

    Have you bought all new stuff or gone for secondhand/bargain hunting?

    We are being given a load of stuff by people, which is really generous! I am buying a new pram (only because I have fallen in love with a silver cross one! although may go ebay hunting for it!)

    Did you find out the sex or want the first to be a suprise for your first?

    We had the scan on friday and are firmly on team yellow (or purple as I prefer!!)

    And is there anything else you didnt realise what would happen to your body before you became pregnant?

    I always imagined that I would have a bump fairly early on, and I am still waiting - I'm not looking forward to the joys of leaking nipples!:rofl:


    And are you scared of how your Labour will turn out?

    Not really - at the moment I am fairly calm, I think in my mind it will be a beautiful experience with any pain being washed away with joy - How wrong am I?!! I think I may start to panic a little more a bit further on!
     
  19. Mary Jo

    Mary Jo Mummy to Adam and Joel

    Joined:
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    What is the pregnancy experience like for you? Anything like you expected? better? worse?

    I don't think I thought too much about what being pregnant would actually be like... I was so concerned I'd never GET pregnant that I didn't look too far ahead. Then when I did (and after only 4 months ttc) I was so shocked and convinced baby wouldn't make it. Before I was pregnant, if I'd been asked I'd have said I'd be so happy to be pregnant, so grateful it was even possible... I did not anticipate the crushing anxiety and terror that I had when I felt any sort of twinge, or when I didn't feel physically awful (I had very mild ms for only a few weeks) - I see now I skipped through 1st tri fine but at the time I was terrified it all meant bad things would happen. Same with 2nd... I feel movement but do I feel enough? I hear the hb but is it fast enough, why did it slow right down and speed right up? you know... it's pretty constant! But I love looking pregnant, I love that people can tell. Oh, and I love that though I've gained weight (of course, and I don't know how much) I am not appreciably fatter anywhere other than my belly. My face and arms, for example, are the same. I thought I'd blow up like a balloon.

    Are people giving you all sorts of advice just because your gonna be a mum for the first time?

    Not REALLY - but some, of course. My own mum is great, though not perfect... she dos say some stuff but she's careful HOW she says it. My mother in law on the other hand is not so careful and she can really get my back up with her opinions. It irks me when she wades in with her view on some item or other I have chosen and she's basically telling me I won't need it (the bath seat thing for the big bath - we have no room for a baby bath proper), or "red will fade" (this was the pushchair), or insisting we'll need to move out of our flat because it's not big enough - while none of this is advice, her opinions, which were not requested, were not welcome. Some people forget that sometimes the best thing they can do is listen - it's made me wary about what I say to her because I don't feel comfortable being assertive (which is my issue, I know). the other thing that bugs me is when friends who do not HAVE children (and have no plans to have them) offer unsolicited views on my plans - for example, to use cloth nappies. Two people I thought would have better manners than they showed basically laughed at me and said I'd never do it... all that did was make me 100% certain in myself that I WOULD.

    Have you bought all new stuff or gone for secondhand/bargain hunting?

    So far it's all new, but we have been given money by family for some of the bigger stuff (pushchair, cot). There will be some hand me down clothes because my OH has family with young babies.

    Did you find out the sex or want the first to be a suprise for your first?

    We did find out. My OH wanted to know. I would have quite liked a surprise but OH was adamant about knowing if we could and he seemed to feel more strongly about it than I did, so I agreed, if baby is co-operative then we will be told. Baby turned out to be completely immodest and flashed his bits at us. I'm glad now that we know because I had unconsciously been thinking of my baby as a girl and it felt weird to know he was a boy, and I needed a day or two to fully digest that. I wouldn't have wanted to have that slight shock after the baby was born.

    And is there anything else you didnt realise would happen to your body before you became pregnant?

    I didn't appreciate how much less food I'd feel comfortable eating at one time. That still gets to me... I think I have the same appetite but then I cannot bear how stuffed I feel after. Also, I didn't know that a blocked nose, etc, was really common - it's horrible and I've had it since day 1, just about. And that my skin would go to shit. It's just a patch of rosacea but it came out of nowhere!

    And are you scared of how your Labour will turn out?
    I asked Santa to send the stork.

    *la la la la la la la la*
     
  20. dom85

    dom85 Mum of 2, 3rd on the way

    Joined:
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    What is the pregnancy experience like for you? Anything like you expected? better? worse?

    A bit of both really. My MS keeps coming and going which surprised me, I think I has some notion that all pregnancies go like they say in the books, MS until 12 weeks and then it's all rosy until 3rd tri. Getting pregnant was a massive surprise for me, it was unexpected and I've had PCOS symptoms for quite a few years so always thought of adoption or fostering when I was older, so finding out I was pregnant was a shock but definately not unwelcome. I didn't expect the headaches and was completely freaked out by spotting and now find myself worrying about a lot of other things that could happen to the baby. I also had thrush early in my pregnancy which I've never had before and I'm told now that I've had it once I'm more likely to get it again which I'm not looking forward to.

    Part of pregnancy that I'm absolutely loving is the affect it has had on my skin. I've had psoriasis all over my body since I was 7 and only light treatment made any difference to it and only for 6 months, but at this stage it has almost completely gone on my body and the patches that I had on my face have completely gone. I don't know if it will be permanent or not, but it's lovely to have some respite from it.


    Are people giving you all sorts of advice just because your gonna be a mum for the first time?

    Not really, and not unwelcome advice. I've been pleasantly surprised by people's reactions. Everyone at work found out last week and they bought me a huge card and flowers (and seeing as the majority of the team are guys I wasn't expecting it at all). My Director actually gave me some brilliant advice about dealing with the baby's father and keeping calm and relaxed. My mum has been good as well and been hunting out bargains for me and giving me tips on how to make things easier for me when the baby arrives. I've has clear ideas on how I wanted to bring any children I have up for a long time as I used to work a lot with children, and I know that some of family dont agree with them, but so far they've kept their noses out.


    Have you bought all new stuff or gone for secondhand/bargain hunting?

    Definately bargain hunting! I'm having to move out and buy furniture etc for a whole house so everything is being done with value for money in mind. A family friend has kindly offered me a cot which has only been used twice, high chair and some other bits and pieces, and I bought my steriliser recently at a bargain price. I also knows someone who can get me 20% off at Mothercare so my pram will be new, but cheaper. My friends have offered to buy things as well which is lovely of them.


    Did you find out the sex or want the first to be a suprise for your first?


    I'm still not sure, I'm so convinced that I'm having a boy, but I've been having dreams about a baby girl so I think by the time my next scan rolls around then I'll be desparate to know.


    And is there anything else you didnt realise would happen to your body before you became pregnant?

    I didn't expect the cramps/growing pains but I didn't think that I would get pregnant so I had never given it much thought. I was a little freaked out the first time I went to the antenatal clinic and saw so many pregnant women in one place!

    And are you scared of how your Labour will turn out?


    I'm not scared of how it will turn out, as hopefully it will be with a healthy baby in my arms. I'm trying not to think about it too much though, I'm more scared of being 2 weeks overdue like my mum was with every one of her pregnancies.
     

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