The Bad Mothers (Guilt Free) Confessional Thread

[CharmingBeake]

My "Bad Mom" moment is sort of a consistent thing...
I find that I HATE breastfeeding. I want my LO to have breastmilk, and I want to breastfeed more than anything, but as soon as I sit down with her I get fidgity and annoyed and I just can't stand it. Every once in a while I can tolerate feeding her while I lay next to her, but for the most part I feel like breastfeeding is eating my life and I can't do anything else if I breastfeed her!
I have to use both hands when I feed her to keep her in place, so I can't read or eat when I feed her. All I can do is watch TV which gets so old after a day or two of constant feeding! I've almost completely switched to feeding her expressed breastmilk from a bottle that way Daddy can do it too and I can get a break.
I just feel so bad though, like I'm giving up or something...but I just really don't like it!

I can relate... I stared to feel the same way about it. It didn't help that she was starting to refuse the breast, scream bloody murder instead of latching on, etc etc etc. But just know you're not alone in those feelings.

I had a rough start because I had emergency surgery in the hospital and they fed her formula for the first two days. When we got her home she wouldn't latch, wouldn't take the breast at all...I had to start using a breast shield. Then we had issues with bleeding, raw, sore nipples thanks to the breast shield, LO losing weight because she wasn't getting enough, and then having to stick it out to get her back up to weight... Its been terrible from the start for me, and even though I stuck it out for a month and a half I just really don't like it at all anymore.

 

[KendraNoell]

I am so there on breastfeeding as well, I actually just posted a "bad mom" thing on facebook about it. From day 1 we've used a shield, I tried to get him to latch on today without it and he would latch but break away after a few sucks. He gets soooo frustrated breast feeding too because he eats so much and I don't produce enough. Today I skipped two breast feedings and fed him formula to see what I could pump and I couldn't even get 2 ounces. It's becoming tiresome and stressful for us both and I feel horrible that I probably won't be able to go more than a few more days like this because it isn't healthy for either of us to be constantly stressed out.

 

[wavescrash]

I am so there on breastfeeding as well, I actually just posted a "bad mom" thing on facebook about it. From day 1 we've used a shield, I tried to get him to latch on today without it and he would latch but break away after a few sucks. He gets soooo frustrated breast feeding too because he eats so much and I don't produce enough. Today I skipped two breast feedings and fed him formula to see what I could pump and I couldn't even get 2 ounces. It's becoming tiresome and stressful for us both and I feel horrible that I probably won't be able to go more than a few more days like this because it isn't healthy for either of us to be constantly stressed out.

Kendra, I was going to reply on fb when I get back on my laptop but I completely understand. That's how it was for us and now were all formula. I will suggest pumping after a hot shower if you can. I always got the most then or around 1am. I'll still message you once I'm on my computer though, because II completely understand.

 

[Natsku]

breastfeeding can be so so hard at the beginning, it hurts, they want to feed constantly, you start doubting yourself. But it does get easier, they get bigger and you don't have to hold them with both hands anymore, the cluster feeding gets less and so does the pain.

 

[La Mere]

I agree with Natsku. In the beginning I had a horrible time with breastfeeding, wanted to give up. It hurt so bad at first I couldn't even use a pump. When my DD turned 3 months, it started getting easier... but it really helps when you can start giving them baby foods at 6 months, because it takes some of the strain off of you. I hope it gets better for you ladies, and know that you are definitely not alone in the way you feel right now.

 

[Mb2012]

This morning I must have fell asleep with her beside me opposite of the wall because I woke up to a thud and her screaming. She was in the floor face first I'm so scared something is wrong but she cried for a few seconds and then was laughing and smiling like her normal self. Nothing seems to hurt her and she's acting fine but I can't believe I did something so stupid I feel like the worst parent ever she could have been seriously hurt because of my carelessness. I'm going to have to tell OH today and I'm dreading it he's going to be mad and will probably tell his mom/sister which will make me feel even worse and judged. My sister and mom came in after I got her off the floor so no one knows I was too scared to tell them.

 

[alaskagrown]

My confession? I'll be going back to work kinda part-time starting Tuesday. My baby will be 1 1/2 week old by then. I can bring her in for now as long as she stays in the office and not in the storefront or workshop area. I'm taking advantage of this because when I go back to work full-time at 6 weeks my boss won't let me bring her in!! Keeping my fingers crossed she behaves....maybe there's hope my boss will change her mind about letting me bring her to work every day later on!!

 

[KendraNoell]

holy crap i'm in awe! i couldnt imagine going back to work right now!

 

[Kasia]

My confession? I'll be going back to work kinda part-time starting Tuesday. My baby will be 1 1/2 week old by then. I can bring her in for now as long as she stays in the office and not in the storefront or workshop area. I'm taking advantage of this because when I go back to work full-time at 6 weeks my boss won't let me bring her in!! Keeping my fingers crossed she behaves....maybe there's hope my boss will change her mind about letting me bring her to work every day later on!!

I hope it works out for you! I own my business & tried taking lo since she was a week old but she was such a needy newborn I could never get anything done. Dh refused to stay with her (cause all she did was cry was his excuse) so I put her in daycare. She loooooves it still & I get my work done. Yes, some mornings I drop her off & go home & go back to bed

 

[wavescrash]

Another confession... sometimes I wish she'd nap sooner or for longer periods of time during the day just to give me a little bit more "me time." Don't get me wrong, I love cuddling and playing with her through the day but I absolutely enjoy my quiet, alone time too.

 

[tanya]

Waves, I think that's normal, people seem to forget that we are people as well as mummies, my dh tries to do housework so I can spend more time with the baby but if I'm totally honest some days I'd rather he played with him so I can be on my own for a while and clean.

 

[wavescrash]

I agree. Some days I'd rather just clean while OH fed her or something. He's pretty good about "taking over" the first and second feed once he's home from work and then we alternate through the night... but sometimes it doesn't feel like enough time away haha. At least he understands that even though he's gone at work all day and work is a bit of a drag, it's still a break from the monotonous routine we've got going on here at home haha.

 

[snowfia]

The past week or LO screams for hours and nothing will calm her except dingle dangle scarecrow. I am so sick of this song and her screaming.

 

[KendraNoell]

I totally agree. My husband really isn't good at taking over anything unless I specifically ask him to. He won't just go out of his way to do anything for me and then he gets confused when I tell him he's not doing enough, cause he's waiting for me to tell him what he needs to do. For example today my husband slept from about midnight-1230 am to just now (12 hours). I slept from 8-1130, then from 1230-230, then from 3-630 and have been up since then. Must be nice.

 

[wavescrash]

I agree! My OH had to go into work today but had yesterday off so I let him sleep in just a little but then he kept whining about how he was tired and had a headache. He gets more sleep than I do each night yet still finds a way to complain about how tired he is. I could kick him for it.

 

[mrs.amillian]

Ok my first confession at 14 weeks and 4 days old:

I was making my daughter laugh today by repeatedly saying "what the fuck!" in a sing songy voice to her, she was laughing so hard and looked so cute.

So I leaned in to kiss her and she was sick in my mouth!!!

Damn karma

 

[hubblybubbly]

Willow loves LMFAO.

Turn it up with bass in the car, crying stops....

Turn it down, or to something more appropriate, crying starts again....

Sure her first words are going to be "I'm sexy and I know it...."

 

[tanya]

Flynn loves lmfao too, but then again most of the songs he likes are the ones with explicit lyric warnings... I was so glad when he said mama coz there were bets on which swear word would be his first word! (I got fuck in the sweepstake pmsl)
Now he's taking more interest in vocabulary and his surroundings I'm trying to monitor what he hears and sees, I've stopped him watching so many crime programmes (he likes the screaming) were watching the waltons and little house on the prairie instead, I'm even trying I persuade him to like babyTv lol
I'd rather not have the child who wanders into nursery and greets the staff with a "what's up fuckers?" (a friends kid did that and was excluded for a week!) I'm already struggling with him biting idrather not have to deal with swearing too even if dh and I constantly use swear words all the time and are really struggling not to.

 

[heyyady]

We're in the same boat with the swearing and inappropriate language- plus I have 2 teenagers (that each come with a +1, so 4 of them constantly underfoot ) And my hubby is, erm, crude to say the least I told him the other day he needed to watch it and curb what he says or our girls are going to get kicked out of kindergarten for telling the teacher they're going to sodomize them to death with a pitchfork

 

[sherylb]

We made it to 6 months and my daughter was still having her baths on the kitchen counter. Wednesdayish I noticed that her kicking her legs in the bath water had started moving her bathtub. Friday I was cleaning up her high chair right after putting her in and she must have really been excitedly kicking because she kicked her bathtub right off the counter. I heard a strange noise and turned just in time to see my baby bounce off our tile kitchen floor. She was screaming and I screamed for Dh who had gone to bed minutes before to be at work at 4:30am. I am lucky he was there to tell me to just take her to her room and rock her b/c I was freaking out. After she calmed down I got her dressed, he went to bed and I took her to the neighbor to hold rather than put her down because I just couldn't make myself put her down. She's perfectly fine but now bathes in her tub in the big tub.