The BFP Before The 'Would Of Been' Due Date Thread - Any Joiners?

[Twinkie210]

I just lit my candle...

 

[micsor]

Congratulations Mrskg! So happy for you! Good luck and best wishes for a healthy and happy 9 months!

 

[jennajul2001]

HI everyone sorry I havent posted since I join this thread, been a busy few days!

Congrats on the BFP Mrskg! That is wonderful!

I lit my candles at 7pm in meemory of my lo . I would have forgotten about it unfortunately as I was busy going through Halloween decorationsn with my daughter when the power went out at around 6:40pm. As soon as the lights went out I rembmered right away about the candles and my lo. It felt like a sign to me. The power didnt come back on til almost 8pm. I would have been very sad if I would have forgotten about it.

Hope everyone is doing good, I will try to be more active in this thread!

 

[sarasparra]

Congrats on the BFP Mrskg, how exciting!

Sorry to hear that you're having a hard time Jess, it can be difficult and I think that many people don't understand. I don't think you can understand unless you have been through it yourself and even OHs don't quite get it. My OH is brilliant but I'd been a bit snappy here and there since the ERPC - either hormones or just being a bit down I guess. As I have been coping withy the loss really well I think he just thought I was over it and was asking why I was so snappy etc and I just pointed out that I was still having a hard time even though most of the time I am ok.

You need to talk to people who will listen and just do that I think - not try to offer advice or come up with some kind of solution or reason why you suffered a loss. The best responses I had I know were when people just said that they were sorry, offered me a cuddle and a shoulder to cry on. Rather than 'it must have happened for a reason' or 'you'll get pregnant again' which personally I never found particularly helpful.

BnB peeps are always here to listen

Hopefully this will be a positive thread that turns full of joy when the BFPs come rolling in!!
x

 

[sarasparra]

p.s We BD'd last night for the first time since it all happened - felt lovely of course but a bit weird and felt a bit upset after because made me think about baby we lost and another baby we might have - does that make any sense!?!?

Think that we are going to NTNP this cycle and then if/when AF arrives I'll go back to OPKs and charting again as seemed to work well last time.

 

[collie_crazy]

Jess I know what you mean about not being able to let yourself go - most of the time when I get upset and start crying I tell myself to stop being silly and suck it up. I know its probably not the best thing to do but in the past I have always been the strong one so it just feels so wrong to feel so weak if you understand? There have been a couple of times though when I have completly lost it and shrieked the house down

Mrskg - that is without a doubt a great BFT for 10-12dpo! I am so pleased for you Hope a lot more of us get those fabolus 2 lines very very soon!

Wow Jennajul what a sign Looks like your little angel wanted to remind you it was time hun.

Sara I do understand about the first time BDing - infact the first time we did I started quietly crying when we finished because although it was nice it still felt wrong - it made me ache for our angel but like you said it also made me think about another child that we may have and the mixed emotions that will come with that

Well I lit my candles for all of our angels... it was strangely comforting to see everyones pictures here and on facebook - candles being lit in memory all over the world. I'm glad I got to take part. We also went to the cemetery yesterday and planted some snowdrops for my angel

I am now CD8 and we started the SMEP yesterday. I really hope this cycle is our time for our rainbow because those BFNs are heartbreaking

 

[keepthefaithx]

to all!!!!!!!!

 

[sarasparra]

Jess I know what you mean about not being able to let yourself go - most of the time when I get upset and start crying I tell myself to stop being silly and suck it up. I know its probably not the best thing to do but in the past I have always been the strong one so it just feels so wrong to feel so weak if you understand? There have been a couple of times though when I have completly lost it and shrieked the house down

Mrskg - that is without a doubt a great BFT for 10-12dpo! I am so pleased for you Hope a lot more of us get those fabolus 2 lines very very soon!

Wow Jennajul what a sign Looks like your little angel wanted to remind you it was time hun.

Sara I do understand about the first time BDing - infact the first time we did I started quietly crying when we finished because although it was nice it still felt wrong - it made me ache for our angel but like you said it also made me think about another child that we may have and the mixed emotions that will come with that

Well I lit my candles for all of our angels... it was strangely comforting to see everyones pictures here and on facebook - candles being lit in memory all over the world. I'm glad I got to take part. We also went to the cemetery yesterday and planted some snowdrops for my angel

I am now CD8 and we started the SMEP yesterday. I really hope this cycle is our time for our rainbow because those BFNs are heartbreaking

Thanks collie - makes me feel better and that I'm not just being weird!! Is all very much about mixed emotions I guess.

We did SMEP last time and conceived on our first cycle so I think it's really good. Fingers crossed for you We're taking it as it comes until AF arrives and then will be doing SMEP again.

Here's to a great week for us all

 

[heavyheart]

hi ladies thought id post a quite one to see how your all doing, sorry i dont have time to do individual posts just now

Hope everyone is having a good a day

 

[Srbjbex]

p.s We BD'd last night for the first time since it all happened - felt lovely of course but a bit weird and felt a bit upset after because made me think about baby we lost and another baby we might have - does that make any sense!?!?

Think that we are going to NTNP this cycle and then if/when AF arrives I'll go back to OPKs and charting again as seemed to work well last time.

Snap!

We BD'd for the first time on Saturday - it did feel odd, and for me it was more about learning I was ok again, then enjoyment, but I think thats a step we all need to go through.

We have agreed to NTNP until AF arrives and then get back to charting etc. The idea of preventing just never seemed right.

 

[xxxjessxxx]

So sorry you are feeling down Jess I'm so glad you have support from here I don't know where I would have been without bnb these last 3 months x you know we are all here for you 110% xxxx

Ahh it's ok I guess I've got to get on with it hey!
Awww thanks hunny
So how's it feel being pregnant? x

 

[xxxjessxxx]

I would also like to join. My would have been due date of my beautiful sweet twins was May 6, 2012. I would love to have my BFP and ideally in my 2nd trimester so I can worry a little less because I know it's going to be impossible next time.

Welcome lovely
Sorry for the loss of your twins
So are you coping well? x

 

[xxxjessxxx]

I know how you feel about having family that isn't too helpful. I mentioned the walk on the phone to my mom and I just got silence, you would think I would get a "Glad it went well" at least, but I get nothing. My sister is so involved in her own life, that she didn't even remember about my walk. I am so glad I have BnB and my support group girls, I don't know what I would do without them.

I am sorry that you are feeling down, but I know I would rather feel down at times than feel nothing at all. I don't mind feeling sad and missing my Angel sometimes, because if I don't no one else will. I just hope that the happy days out number the sad ones.

Oh my god? SO what does your mum think about it all then? Even if she doesn't agree she should still be supportive
It's horrible when people don't remember isn't it?
OH didn't even remember about the candles
Ahh that's a good point hun thank you It is hard, but me and OH had an alright weekend so it wasn't too bad. I just feel I can't be down infront of him though otherwise he gets fed up x

 

[xxxjessxxx]

HI everyone sorry I havent posted since I join this thread, been a busy few days!

Congrats on the BFP Mrskg! That is wonderful!

I lit my candles at 7pm in meemory of my lo . I would have forgotten about it unfortunately as I was busy going through Halloween decorationsn with my daughter when the power went out at around 6:40pm. As soon as the lights went out I rembmered right away about the candles and my lo. It felt like a sign to me. The power didnt come back on til almost 8pm. I would have been very sad if I would have forgotten about it.

Hope everyone is doing good, I will try to be more active in this thread!

hope your ok hun?
Oh my that is odd - I would feel like that is a sign too
Excited for halloween then? Doing anything special? x

 

[xxxjessxxx]

Congrats on the BFP Mrskg, how exciting!

Sorry to hear that you're having a hard time Jess, it can be difficult and I think that many people don't understand. I don't think you can understand unless you have been through it yourself and even OHs don't quite get it. My OH is brilliant but I'd been a bit snappy here and there since the ERPC - either hormones or just being a bit down I guess. As I have been coping withy the loss really well I think he just thought I was over it and was asking why I was so snappy etc and I just pointed out that I was still having a hard time even though most of the time I am ok.

You need to talk to people who will listen and just do that I think - not try to offer advice or come up with some kind of solution or reason why you suffered a loss. The best responses I had I know were when people just said that they were sorry, offered me a cuddle and a shoulder to cry on. Rather than 'it must have happened for a reason' or 'you'll get pregnant again' which personally I never found particularly helpful.

BnB peeps are always here to listen

Hopefully this will be a positive thread that turns full of joy when the BFPs come rolling in!!
x

Thanks hunny
Yes, I do try to keep reminding myself that not many people understand it Just makes you feel alone when your not on BnB though
Yeah I know what you mean, I've heard all the 'you've got the rest of your life to' 'your still young' 'it obviously wasn't meant to be' blah blah blah lol.
They don't understand you don't care what could've/should've been, you want the baby you just lost
Fx'd hey! Baby dust to us all x

 

[xxxjessxxx]

p.s We BD'd last night for the first time since it all happened - felt lovely of course but a bit weird and felt a bit upset after because made me think about baby we lost and another baby we might have - does that make any sense!?!?

Think that we are going to NTNP this cycle and then if/when AF arrives I'll go back to OPKs and charting again as seemed to work well last time.

Ahh hun I'm glad it felt good, but yes it does make sense how you feel
I've had that feeling, but I kept telling myself they are all new sperm which could lead to a new life and a new outcome. It's hard but it does get easier
We did NTNP as well, fx'd you get a x

 

[xxxjessxxx]

Jess I know what you mean about not being able to let yourself go - most of the time when I get upset and start crying I tell myself to stop being silly and suck it up. I know its probably not the best thing to do but in the past I have always been the strong one so it just feels so wrong to feel so weak if you understand? There have been a couple of times though when I have completly lost it and shrieked the house down

Mrskg - that is without a doubt a great BFT for 10-12dpo! I am so pleased for you Hope a lot more of us get those fabolus 2 lines very very soon!

Wow Jennajul what a sign Looks like your little angel wanted to remind you it was time hun.

Sara I do understand about the first time BDing - infact the first time we did I started quietly crying when we finished because although it was nice it still felt wrong - it made me ache for our angel but like you said it also made me think about another child that we may have and the mixed emotions that will come with that

Well I lit my candles for all of our angels... it was strangely comforting to see everyones pictures here and on facebook - candles being lit in memory all over the world. I'm glad I got to take part. We also went to the cemetery yesterday and planted some snowdrops for my angel

I am now CD8 and we started the SMEP yesterday. I really hope this cycle is our time for our rainbow because those BFNs are heartbreaking

Yes it's hard isn't it?
Maybe when I properly let myself go I'll feel better about sort of 'moving on' from it - I dont know
I'm usually the strong one too, and like you, I feel weak when I cry
I hope we get stronger hey x

 

[xxxjessxxx]

Hey ladies,
Sorry for a late reply to you all - I've been sooo busy!

At 3:30pm I'm going to a place so I can officially finish my NVQ in Health and Social Care Woohoo! I'm relly excited!

Tomorrow, and Wednesday I'm busy too - but I'll definitely find some time to get on here

How are all you ladies?
Busy? xx

 

[Twinkie210]

I know how you feel about having family that isn't too helpful. I mentioned the walk on the phone to my mom and I just got silence, you would think I would get a "Glad it went well" at least, but I get nothing. My sister is so involved in her own life, that she didn't even remember about my walk. I am so glad I have BnB and my support group girls, I don't know what I would do without them.

I am sorry that you are feeling down, but I know I would rather feel down at times than feel nothing at all. I don't mind feeling sad and missing my Angel sometimes, because if I don't no one else will. I just hope that the happy days out number the sad ones.

Oh my god? SO what does your mum think about it all then? Even if she doesn't agree she should still be supportive
It's horrible when people don't remember isn't it?
OH didn't even remember about the candles
Ahh that's a good point hun thank you It is hard, but me and OH had an alright weekend so it wasn't too bad. I just feel I can't be down infront of him though otherwise he gets fed up x

I don't really know what she thinks about it because she never talks to me about it. I am guessing she thinks I should just be over it already. DH is pretty good, but I don't think he understands why I still cry sometimes.

 

[Twinkie210]

My day should be busy too! I am at work now (I should be doing more actual work instead of posting on here LOL) My MIL is coming in town tonight! Then I have a Dr. appointment tomorrow (FX'd he will listen to my TTC concerns!). So I have a stressful couple of days coming up!