Twinkie210
Mom of 2 and an ^Angel^
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- Jul 13, 2011
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I just lit my candle...
Jess I know what you mean about not being able to let yourself go - most of the time when I get upset and start crying I tell myself to stop being silly and suck it up. I know its probably not the best thing to do but in the past I have always been the strong one so it just feels so wrong to feel so weak if you understand? There have been a couple of times though when I have completly lost it and shrieked the house down
Mrskg - that is without a doubt a great BFT for 10-12dpo! I am so pleased for you Hope a lot more of us get those fabolus 2 lines very very soon!
Wow Jennajul what a sign Looks like your little angel wanted to remind you it was time hun.
Sara I do understand about the first time BDing - infact the first time we did I started quietly crying when we finished because although it was nice it still felt wrong - it made me ache for our angel but like you said it also made me think about another child that we may have and the mixed emotions that will come with that
Well I lit my candles for all of our angels... it was strangely comforting to see everyones pictures here and on facebook - candles being lit in memory all over the world. I'm glad I got to take part. We also went to the cemetery yesterday and planted some snowdrops for my angel
I am now CD8 and we started the SMEP yesterday. I really hope this cycle is our time for our rainbow because those BFNs are heartbreaking
p.s We BD'd last night for the first time since it all happened - felt lovely of course but a bit weird and felt a bit upset after because made me think about baby we lost and another baby we might have - does that make any sense!?!?
Think that we are going to NTNP this cycle and then if/when AF arrives I'll go back to OPKs and charting again as seemed to work well last time.
So sorry you are feeling down Jess I'm so glad you have support from here I don't know where I would have been without bnb these last 3 months x you know we are all here for you 110% xxxx
I would also like to join. My would have been due date of my beautiful sweet twins was May 6, 2012. I would love to have my BFP and ideally in my 2nd trimester so I can worry a little less because I know it's going to be impossible next time.
I know how you feel about having family that isn't too helpful. I mentioned the walk on the phone to my mom and I just got silence, you would think I would get a "Glad it went well" at least, but I get nothing. My sister is so involved in her own life, that she didn't even remember about my walk. I am so glad I have BnB and my support group girls, I don't know what I would do without them.
I am sorry that you are feeling down, but I know I would rather feel down at times than feel nothing at all. I don't mind feeling sad and missing my Angel sometimes, because if I don't no one else will. I just hope that the happy days out number the sad ones.
HI everyone sorry I havent posted since I join this thread, been a busy few days!
Congrats on the BFP Mrskg! That is wonderful!
I lit my candles at 7pm in meemory of my lo . I would have forgotten about it unfortunately as I was busy going through Halloween decorationsn with my daughter when the power went out at around 6:40pm. As soon as the lights went out I rembmered right away about the candles and my lo. It felt like a sign to me. The power didnt come back on til almost 8pm. I would have been very sad if I would have forgotten about it.
Hope everyone is doing good, I will try to be more active in this thread!
Congrats on the BFP Mrskg, how exciting!
Sorry to hear that you're having a hard time Jess, it can be difficult and I think that many people don't understand. I don't think you can understand unless you have been through it yourself and even OHs don't quite get it. My OH is brilliant but I'd been a bit snappy here and there since the ERPC - either hormones or just being a bit down I guess. As I have been coping withy the loss really well I think he just thought I was over it and was asking why I was so snappy etc and I just pointed out that I was still having a hard time even though most of the time I am ok.
You need to talk to people who will listen and just do that I think - not try to offer advice or come up with some kind of solution or reason why you suffered a loss. The best responses I had I know were when people just said that they were sorry, offered me a cuddle and a shoulder to cry on. Rather than 'it must have happened for a reason' or 'you'll get pregnant again' which personally I never found particularly helpful.
BnB peeps are always here to listen
Hopefully this will be a positive thread that turns full of joy when the BFPs come rolling in!!
x
p.s We BD'd last night for the first time since it all happened - felt lovely of course but a bit weird and felt a bit upset after because made me think about baby we lost and another baby we might have - does that make any sense!?!?
Think that we are going to NTNP this cycle and then if/when AF arrives I'll go back to OPKs and charting again as seemed to work well last time.
Jess I know what you mean about not being able to let yourself go - most of the time when I get upset and start crying I tell myself to stop being silly and suck it up. I know its probably not the best thing to do but in the past I have always been the strong one so it just feels so wrong to feel so weak if you understand? There have been a couple of times though when I have completly lost it and shrieked the house down
Mrskg - that is without a doubt a great BFT for 10-12dpo! I am so pleased for you Hope a lot more of us get those fabolus 2 lines very very soon!
Wow Jennajul what a sign Looks like your little angel wanted to remind you it was time hun.
Sara I do understand about the first time BDing - infact the first time we did I started quietly crying when we finished because although it was nice it still felt wrong - it made me ache for our angel but like you said it also made me think about another child that we may have and the mixed emotions that will come with that
Well I lit my candles for all of our angels... it was strangely comforting to see everyones pictures here and on facebook - candles being lit in memory all over the world. I'm glad I got to take part. We also went to the cemetery yesterday and planted some snowdrops for my angel
I am now CD8 and we started the SMEP yesterday. I really hope this cycle is our time for our rainbow because those BFNs are heartbreaking
I know how you feel about having family that isn't too helpful. I mentioned the walk on the phone to my mom and I just got silence, you would think I would get a "Glad it went well" at least, but I get nothing. My sister is so involved in her own life, that she didn't even remember about my walk. I am so glad I have BnB and my support group girls, I don't know what I would do without them.
I am sorry that you are feeling down, but I know I would rather feel down at times than feel nothing at all. I don't mind feeling sad and missing my Angel sometimes, because if I don't no one else will. I just hope that the happy days out number the sad ones.
Oh my god? SO what does your mum think about it all then? Even if she doesn't agree she should still be supportive
It's horrible when people don't remember isn't it?
OH didn't even remember about the candles
Ahh that's a good point hun thank you It is hard, but me and OH had an alright weekend so it wasn't too bad. I just feel I can't be down infront of him though otherwise he gets fed up x