The Choice to Formula Feed

[lozzy21]

I did not choose to FF, it was that or have Niamh starve. My hand was forced so to me thats not a choice.

FF in my town in normal, every one does it. So much so that if i see a mum BF i want to go give her a high five.

It's interesting, I think most formula feeding moms feel they need to say they had no choice even if they did. Most wouldn't judge if you just couldn't breastfeed, which does happen as it did in your case. But there's a lot of judgement if a mom admits to being tired, not enjoying breastfeeding or simply not wanting to do it for personal reasons.

I think my perspective is largely regional however, since breastfeeding is so common. I don't know anyone who used formula from birth. Not one person.

I am pro BF, i feel that unless your on medications that are unsafe with BF that every one should try, even for a few days. You hav brought this life into the world then you should give it the best start you can. What makes me sad is the amount of people that have gave up because they have been gave the wrong info, told things like they dont have a low supply and need to supplment which leads to a downward spiral simply because baby wants feeding every two hours. The majority of the population, health care profesionals included have forgot what normal newborn feeding patterns are and its leading to mums stopping before they want to which leads to BF guilt.

 

[Noelle610]

I did not choose to FF, it was that or have Niamh starve. My hand was forced so to me thats not a choice.

FF in my town in normal, every one does it. So much so that if i see a mum BF i want to go give her a high five.

It's interesting, I think most formula feeding moms feel they need to say they had no choice even if they did. Most wouldn't judge if you just couldn't breastfeed, which does happen as it did in your case. But there's a lot of judgement if a mom admits to being tired, not enjoying breastfeeding or simply not wanting to do it for personal reasons.

I think my perspective is largely regional however, since breastfeeding is so common. I don't know anyone who used formula from birth. Not one person.

I am pro BF, i feel that unless your on medications that are unsafe with BF that every one should try, even for a few days. You hav brought this life into the world then you should give it the best start you can. What makes me sad is the amount of people that have gave up because they have been gave the wrong info, told things like they dont have a low supply and need to supplment which leads to a downward spiral simply because baby wants feeding every two hours. The majority of the population, health care profesionals included have forgot what normal newborn feeding patterns are and its leading to mums stopping before they want to which leads to BF guilt.

I am pro breastfeeding as well and agree that there's an abudance of poor information circulating, even in professional circles.

That said, I don't agree that everyone should "try" to breastfed. In my opinion, a statement like that is a slippery slope, because then who is to say what consititutes a "reason" for not breastfeeding? Does the reason have to be physical? What about a woman who was sexually abused as a child and has a strong aversion to anything touching her breasts? An extreme example for sure, but I don't feel it's my place to say what reason is acceptable for not breastfeeding.

 

[lozzy21]

I think the woman herself knows if she has a reason not to BF or if its just an excuse. Big differance between some one not wanting to BF because of past sexual abuse and some one not wanting to BF because she wants to send the baby to her mums 4 nights a week. That was the reason a random woman gave to me when she saw me BF Niamh, (i managed to combi feed for 4 months before switching to FF full tim)

 

[Noelle610]

What if she had to send her baby to her mom's because she needed to work and didn't have time or resources to pump? There are just so many variations that I think it's hard to judge. What constitutes an "excuse" for you might be a valid reason for another person.

I exclusively pumped for 6 months. Honestly, it sucked. I could have kept going. Mywork provided me with a nice, private place to pump that I could have used whenever I liked. But I was exhausted, I hated pumping and I felt it took time away from my daughter when I did it at home. These probably "excuses" to some people, but for me they were perfectly valid reasons to stop breastfeeding and I do not feel guilty.

 

[Ktothema]

I don't think any mum should be judged for choosing to bf or ff, nor for co-sleeping or cot sleeping, for blw or tw, or any of the other choices that present us. No one is in anyone elses shoes so no one knows whats for the best. It's very sad that we live in a world of tremendous choice and freedoms yet as soon as you become a mum you *must* conform.

 

[lozzy21]

What if she had to send her baby to her mom's because she needed to work and didn't have time or resources to pump? There are just so many variations that I think it's hard to judge. What constitutes an "excuse" for you might be a valid reason for another person.

I exclusively pumped for 6 months. Honestly, it sucked. I could have kept going. Mywork provided me with a nice, private place to pump that I could have used whenever I liked. But I was exhausted, I hated pumping and I felt it took time away from my daughter when I did it at home. These probably "excuses" to some people, but for me they were perfectly valid reasons to stop breastfeeding and I do not feel guilty.

No it was because she wanted to get pissed and do drugs, its a good job she did not BF really. In the UK we get 9 months paid maternity leave so thats usualy not a problem. I feel for the girls in the US having to go back when baby is 6 weeks old.

 

[Monalissa]

Pretty much everyone I know FF, except my one Aunt who nursed her daughter until she was almost 4. A couple of friends tried BF for a week or two and then stopped. Others had zero interest for their own reasons. I got a lot of negative comments about how hard it is and how "romantic" it sounds when I said that I wanted to try. If anything, I had a harder time justifying wanting to BF!

But I am a pretty determined person and knew from the first time I latched my daughter on, and loved it, that I would have extended BF for sure even with all of our issues. That is until my DD started refusing to nurse once I returned to work. Now I don't talk about the loss of my nursing relationship to anyone but my husband (who supported me through every LC visit, tongue tie revision etc.) because they just don't understand why it is so important to me and why I am still "grieving". While I loved that she got the benefits of BM, it was so much more than that to me.

 

[Noelle610]

Yes, the limited maternity leave that US ladies have certainly complicates things further!

 

[Bonnie11]

I think that there is no such thing as an 'excuse' to be honest. I understand your point about there being a lack of communication in the medical world about breast feeding, but I don't think that you can say something is an excuse if you don't agree with it. I am unlikely to be breastfeeding due to previous surgery, but It could just as easily be that I am choosing not to, or for any other reason I decide.
I think it is totally down to the individual person and I think the thought of anyone judging another mother on the way they care for their child is unfair if they are trying to do the best by their baby and themselves. I know that breastmilk is best for babies, but I know plenty of babies that are formula fed from birth that are perfectly healthy and happy, and no one should beat themselves up about their decision if they can't or choose not to breastfeed, and I don't think that anyone should ever be judged for it.

 

[melfy77]

I think that there is no such thing as an 'excuse' to be honest. I understand your point about there being a lack of communication in the medical world about breast feeding, but I don't think that you can say something is an excuse if you don't agree with it. I am unlikely to be breastfeeding due to previous surgery, but It could just as easily be that I am choosing not to, or for any other reason I decide.
I think it is totally down to the individual person and I think the thought of anyone judging another mother on the way they care for their child is unfair if they are trying to do the best by their baby and themselves. I know that breastmilk is best for babies, but I know plenty of babies that are formula fed from birth that are perfectly healthy and happy, and no one should beat themselves up about their decision if they can't or choose not to breastfeed, and I don't think that anyone should ever be judged for it.

I was formla-fed and am PERFECTLY HEALTHY!!! No allergies, no diabetes, no immune issues, I'm not fat, and definetly not obese (BMI of 18), and managed to get a degree in agriculture in a good university!! My husband was breastfed and is allergic to penicillin and is lactose intolerant so go figure

And honnestly when yo look at all tose pro-breastfeeding studies, a lot of their ''facts'' are biased. For example, as far as obesity goes, it's been proven that since formula feeding rate is higher in lower income families (lack of ressources and access to funding for formula), their poor diet as kids is the cause and not the formula itself.

 

[Gamina]

I think that there is no such thing as an 'excuse' to be honest. I understand your point about there being a lack of communication in the medical world about breast feeding, but I don't think that you can say something is an excuse if you don't agree with it. I am unlikely to be breastfeeding due to previous surgery, but It could just as easily be that I am choosing not to, or for any other reason I decide.
I think it is totally down to the individual person and I think the thought of anyone judging another mother on the way they care for their child is unfair if they are trying to do the best by their baby and themselves. I know that breastmilk is best for babies, but I know plenty of babies that are formula fed from birth that are perfectly healthy and happy, and no one should beat themselves up about their decision if they can't or choose not to breastfeed, and I don't think that anyone should ever be judged for it.

I was formla-fed and am PERFECTLY HEALTHY!!! No allergies, no diabetes, no immune issues, I'm not fat, and definetly not obese (BMI of 18), and managed to get a degree in agriculture in a good university!! My husband was breastfed and is allergic to penicillin and is lactose intolerant so go figure

And honnestly when yo look at all tose pro-breastfeeding studies, a lot of their ''facts'' are biased. For example, as far as obesity goes, it's been proven that since formula feeding rate is higher in lower income families (lack of ressources and access to funding for formula), their poor diet as kids is the cause and not the formula itself.

After my experience I was also angry that the problems that can arise from breast feeding were not at least given to me so I could look out for things before they happened, none of the things were life threatening but have given me lots of stress and trouble and I felt after they had happened it was reveled how many BFing women suffer from them but nothing bad is said before, while you are being told all the bad things about FFing.

Things like the jaundice danger if milk doesn't come in quickly, dehydration from the same thing and the thrush has been giving both me and my LO hell for two weeks now! Not major things but all very very common but never mentioned to anyone I have spoken to before they happened unlike the issues with FF that you are bombarded with.

 

[melfy77]

I found this online, and thought I would share this with you.

https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2012...ats.org/stories/breast_feed_nyt_jun_20_06.htm

It made me feel better, mostly because it's a little more impartial than what you usually find online, and reflects our reality! That explains why and how pro-breastfeeding groups get their information and only keep the ''good'' part of the facts while leaving the rest...wand of course the ''rest'' makes all the difference!

 

[Bonnie11]

Wow thanks for that article melfy! I have been racked with guilt that I can't breastfeed and have been looking up solid scientific evidence that it is better and actually it's not as easy to find as you might think! I saw my mw in Friday and voiced my concerns, half expecting her to start breathing fire at me, and she was really nice and just said that they like to encourage people to breastfeed but if they can't/choose not to that they shouldn't be treated any differently and their decision should be respected. I wasn't expecting that response! Hope she isn't the only midwife I meet who thinks like that... Makes me feel a little bit less guilty!

 

[SLCMommy]

In Utah, a lot of women here BF. I think within the country, Utah has the highest % for BFers....

However, I must say I think that is also contributed too the culture here. Lots of people here are very religious, married, etc... thus, there are more stay at home mothers.

It's a lot easier to exclusively breastfeed if your a SAHM.

 

[Elljo3]

With my first it was hurting so much I was in tears and was told by a midwife to just switch to a bottle,I was 18 and didn't no any better so went with it.

With my second I just did it because I did with my first.

With this baby I was going to breasts eyed with her being our last but was told I couldn't because if the medicine I am on.

I'm not being rude or anything now but I don't care what. Anyone thinks about other people's baby's are fed as its up to the parents. I wouldn't justify myself at all really as its no one else's business.

Hope I don't upset anyone but at the end of the day this is what I think xx

 

[SLCMommy]

I love the idea that people should try to BF, personally. It's better than formula for babies. HOWEVER.......... I feel like the BF community seriously makes FF moms feel like "failures" as mothers if they switch to FF or if they decide to FF straight from the start. I feel like that just isn't fair. Yes, every FF mom will and can admit that technically breast milk is the "best" between the two but to try and guilt trip them is wrong. I don't feel like there is anything wrong with the BF community showing scientifically why BM is better than FM but at the same time - the respect for it to be the MOTHERS CHOICE is not there. I feel like lots of people in the BF community act has if a FF mom is putting her baby at "risk" if she FF.

I remember with my first baby, I tried to BF. I had a horrible experience. My daughter and I seriously struggled with it - even in the hospital. She wouldn't latch on right. By the time I was home, my nipples were bleeding...they were so sore every time i latched her I seriously would dig my heels in the floor and hold back tears. She would be screaming since she was such a fussy baby...the whole experience was a total, total nightmare. I remember making her, her first bottle of formula. I sat down in a rocker, relieved that she was finally eating good and my breasts could just heal. A commercial comes on TV...

It's of mothers, flawlessly nursing their infant babies. Than, the screen goes black...and a lady talks about how BF is sooooooooo much better than formula feeding and talks about how FF babies get ear infections, overweight, etc. Than, in white lettering it says " GOOD MOTHERS BREASTFEED".


Seriously....I watched this as I'm holding my baby, giving her F for the first time...I'm already feeling like crap about it.

Needless to say, I immediately just start crying so hard i'm sobbing. Made me feel so bad...

 

[Tweak0605]

I follow Fearless Formula Feeders on Facebook, and the woman posted a news site that one of their articles was "Is breastfeeding controversial?" .. or something like that. You should've read some of the comments that some women wrote! Judgmental b!tches!

One that hit me the hardest was the woman that said that "my daughter wouldn't latch" was just an excuse, and that if someone wanted to BF, they would've stuck with it. Really? So, my daughter wouldn't latch and I was stressed, emotional, not bonding with her, and on the verge of PPD .. but I should've stuck with it. Every time I would feed her, I'd bawl my eyes out because she just wouldn't latch. I had to step away from the computer because I was about to comment on that article and say what I REALLY thought, and it wouldn't have been nice!

 

[Bonnie11]

That's what I hate, the judgement! I would never dream of telling someone else how to raise their child regarding discipline, what they eat, who they play with etc, but when it comes to breastfeeding it seems to be fair game to tell someone you don't know exactly what you think!
I'm going to take the advice of a PP on here and have some good retorts ready for when people start poking their nose in! Some parents smack, some don't. Some use naughty step etc, but at the end of the day doing the best that you can is all anyone can ask. I cannot imagine that I'm not going to be able to bond with my baby just because I can't breastfeed x

 

[Noelle610]

I LOVE Fearless Formula Feeder. I like her because she's all about what's best for mom and child and is also very pro-breastfeeding.

I just don't think women should be shamed into breastfeeding.

 

[Ktothema]

I LOVE Fearless Formula Feeder. I like her because she's all about what's best for mom and child and is also very pro-breastfeeding.

I just don't think women should be shamed into breastfeeding.

Me too, I especially like how she campaigns for money to be put into breastfeeding support rather than 'encouragement'