The dad

[lfc_sarah]

Well, my dad is a complete waste of space. He knows I exist he just didn't bother with me. That hurts more. I've seen him 4 times. He just bothers when he wants to because he's an alcoholic now. That's not good for a kid.

No its not

Sorry about that hun

But its the mother who will end up being resented if the father isnt given a chance

 

[nikky0907]

a mother will end up being resented if the father turns out to be someone who will disrupt their lives...

It is a very hard role...

 

[Serene123]

Great, we all have wonderful things to look forward to. I doubt anyone would punish a mother for keeping their kid away from such things.

 

[nikky0907]

There are alwys people who don't know anything about her position who will judge her because she didn't tell the father,and if she did tell him and he tuned out to be a total idiot,people would judge her because she told him...

You just be a good mom and don't worry about what other people say.

If your baby asks about it's dad,you tell him....

 

[lfc_sarah]

Great, we all have wonderful things to look forward to. I doubt anyone would punish a mother for keeping their kid away from such things.

a mother can keep her child away from "such things"

But without the father being given an initial chance.... theres no proof for the child that her father is like this..

And that will come back on the mother

Sad fact but true!

 

[Serene123]

I would never not let my OH see my bump unless he didn't stop the drugs. I don't want that around my baby. No one will ever blame me for that.

Your decision, make sure you don't do something you'll regret.

 

[Serene123]

a mother can keep her child away from "such things"

But without the father being given an initial chance.... theres no proof for the child that her father is like this..

And that will come back on the mother

Sad fact but true!

You sound like Jeremy Kyle.
You're right though!

 

[lfc_sarah]

You sound like Jeremy Kyle.
You're right though!

Oh dear

 

[nikky0907]

Yes,a very sad fact...

Being a mother is a very ungrateful role...

Look at us,3 young moms-to-be discussing her situation without her!

Like we're very experienced...

 

[Serene123]

Right, this is the conclusion I've come to. The child has a right to know who their father is. So, don't tell the father yet, wait untill your child is older and ask them if they wish to have contact with their dad. Explain to them why you havn't told them previously when they're old enough to handle it. That's what I'd do. If they make a concious decision to want to see their dad, that's up to them. If it all falls to pieces you'll just have to be there to catch it. Joys of being a mum.

That's just my opinion though.

 

[nikky0907]

A concusion has been made...

 

[Serene123]

Right, I cold do with some lunch now.

 

[Ragirl]

I have two thoughts. One, my aunt wanted a baby and wasn't with anyone, so purposely got pg by some guy she only kind of knew. She did tell the guy she was pg but told him to have nothing to do with her. It has worked out okay for them. My cousin has never met or had contact with her father. Also, if you aren't sure about all this, I wouldn't put his name on the birth certificate. That would give him automatic rights. He could still fight to get a DNA test, but it would make him show he is committed vs. automatically having rights. Just my opinion.

 

[nikky0907]

Uuuuu,lunch sounds good....maybe I'll even be able to keep ot down...

 

[Serene123]

Uuuuu,lunch sounds good....maybe I'll even be able to keep ot down...

I couldn't keep hardly anything down untill 25 weeks. I'm definately making up for it now!!

 

[Kayles1/8/08]

Lol iv'e missed out on a whole conversation here!!

for the "dad to be" post...the father wouldn't find out through someone else cause there isn't one other person that knows his name apart from me. I would never not tell the child if they ask which i do know they will! It just so happens ur one of the better guys who is decent and will go on to be a good dad.
But i jus feel as if my babys dad is to immature to understand what its all about - which is the baby...not me or him.
If the baby resents me for this for the rest of my life then thats shit yeah but i'm doing what i personally thinks best.
It's a hard one unless ur in the situation urself lol
And his name wont be on the birth certificate..only me and it will be my surname to

sooo..the conclusion is .. carry on the way i am now?? yeh? no?

lol

x

 

[Serene123]

I think you should carry on with how you're going and when your baby is ready to know, let them know and give them the chance to see him if they want. Warn them first. Like I said if it all falls to pieces then, you're not at fault, you'll just have to pick up the pieces.

 

[nikky0907]

Yep,I'm pretty sure that this whole discussion brought us to one thing:leave the things as they are..

 

[lfc_sarah]

Lol iv'e missed out on a whole conversation here!!

for the "dad to be" post...the father wouldn't find out through someone else cause there isn't one other person that knows his name apart from me. I would never not tell the child if they ask which i do know they will! It just so happens ur one of the better guys who is decent and will go on to be a good dad.
But i jus feel as if my babys dad is to immature to understand what its all about - which is the baby...not me or him.
If the baby resents me for this for the rest of my life then thats shit yeah but i'm doing what i personally thinks best.
It's a hard one unless ur in the situation urself lol
And his name wont be on the birth certificate..only me and it will be my surname to

sooo..the conclusion is .. carry on the way i am now?? yeh? no?

lol

x

Its your situation hun

Good luck xx

 

[Kayles1/8/08]

Thanks xxx