The 'I'm feeling crap because...' thread

[prgirl_cesca]

So I thought we could all be a bit self indulgent and post things about our MCs that make us sad....not the obvious one [no baby] but little things.

So I feel crap because:

I can never seem to get through a whole pack of Pregnacare without miscarrying

The holiday I was meant to be 18 weeks, and then around 12 weeks pregnant during, now means I am left with nothing but a flabby bloated belly too fat for my bikini

I have a whole pile of pregnancy flyers from the midwife which I never got a chance to read

The 25 minute journey to the hospital fills me with dread, as does the parking fees

I am now going to have to work christmas at work, when I would have been on maternity leave (I work in the hospitality industry and believe me a xmas off is a god send)



Anyone got anything else to add?

 

[Hollybush75]

only thing I'm feeling crap about is........

being forced to wait before TTC again

 

[jen_0709]

Good thread!

I too now have to work at Christmas which means I will probably be using up all of my holiday entitlement to take time off to look after my DS when his nursery closes over Christmas for a whole week

I have to go to a dental appointment on Thurs 27th May when I should have been going for my scan (13wks) on that day - I didn't get round to cancelling the dental appointment when I got my scan date through!

We now have to decide who will drive to our friends wedding in July - I am gutted that I actually have the option of drinking! Would really rather have our baby.

I still have a wardrobe full of maternity clothes that I need to box up and put back in the loft

Hubby doesn't tell me to leave the cat litter tray alone any more and that really is a crap job


Boohoo I'm sure there are plenty more!!!!

 

[jen_0709]

Oh yes - Hollybush, I'm so sorry you are having to wait too..

How could I forget that one - That is the real reason I am so sad! Being made to wait til NEXT YEAR!!

Big hugs to you all xxxxxx

 

[Mummy2Angel.]

Good thread

Well.....

Not having my baby at xmas, my max should have been 12 weeks roughly at xmas, and now i'll have an xmas with no baby.

My birthday in july i should be 28 weeks pregnant and now....i'll have no bump

All the stuff that reminds me, my hospital letters, anytime i go to glasgow i need to drive past maternity hospital

The thought of going to work , i'm not at work yet 7 weeks after my mmc, i work with babies and alongside a girl due the same day i was and even thinking about it kills me inside, i miss not being at work and i hate having people moaning at me for not being back, but i just cant do it yet

The last time i was at dentist i was 11 weeks pregnant and had my expemtion card, and my pregnancy was put on record for free treatment, now i'm going to have to face them next time im there and tell them what happened to my angel

I still have my big fat tummy that i got in my 13 weeks of pregnancy, and i've got maternity jeans that i dont want to throw away but when i look at them i burst into tears.

x

 

[prgirl_cesca]

Being made to wait til NEXT YEAR!!

Oh gosh yes, that's horrible. We got married in 2009, I would have loved to say we had a baby in 2010 but nevermind. 2011 here we come!

 

[aviolet]

this is a great thread idea.

my reasons at the moment....

cuz i wanna celebrate milestones with the baby's father; but instead i have to mourn them alone.

cuz i hate my period, every time i have cramping i feel like i'm going thru the miscarriage all over again.

cuz my sis in law is due any day now and she and my bro have no idea i've had and lost a baby who would've been due 2-3 months after theirs.

 

[MissMaternal]

Great thread!

I'm sure i could fill a whole page with my list of reason to feel crap, but ones i can think of right now are:

Having to work Christmas, when really i should have been on maternity leave. And Christmas in my job is busy, and mental, and STRESSFUL.

The fact that my parents were so excited to be grandparents for the first time, and i feel my body has let them down.

I booked a holiday with all my girly friends, then cancelled because i was pregnant. Now, in 2 weeks time all my friends will be in Zante, and i will be stuck here, when really i should still be stuck here but at least i would still have had my baby in my tummy.

The fact that i have started smoking again since i lost Freya.

There are loads more, but i can't think right now, i'm watching American Idol and not really concentrating lol.

 

[aviolet]

The fact that i have started smoking again since i lost Freya.

There are loads more, but i can't think right now, i'm watching American Idol and not really concentrating lol.

Freya is a beautiful name!
And lol @ american idol

 

[Lucia]

I feel like crap because my I found baby stuff that DH bought for our angels before I had my miscarriage. It was going to be a surprise...

 

[4magpies]

Because I had a MC 2 years ago and it is still hurting right now.

I had a lap today and have found out that due to an infection I got after my MC which turned into PID (pelvic immflamatory disease) I had one blocked tube and an ovary full of scar tissue. Why is life so cruel?

My OH had also agree'd to start TTC next month when we move but has now decided he is not ready.

My heart is breaking a little bit more everyday.

So frustrated.

Never posted in here before but there isnt one day that I go without thinking about the LO I should have by now and now I am being denied even the chance.

xxx

 

[MrsWez]

I feel crap because:

my best friend is pregnant

because I've been through 4 miscarriages.

because I feel like I will never have a live baby.

 

[Allie84]

I feel like crap because....

I just found out my cousin is pregnant, and while I'm happy for her, I'm jealous as hell and feel like a bad person! I've also found out 2 friends are preggo in the few short weeks since my mc.

I'm going to a family wedding this weekend where I was planning on telling people I was pregnant. Most of them will never even know I was.

I'm thinking a lot of 'what if i was still pregnant?' thoughts and feeling sad when seeing babies, and baby sections at shops.

I will be a thousand miles from OH much of next month so won't get to TTC as planned.

(Good thread...nice to share)

 

[BabyQ]

I'm feeling crap because:

My baby should be 8/9 weeks but only measures 6 with no heartbeat
My baby only grew 5 days worth in 2 weeks
I still have to wait 5 days to return to the hospital for a final decision
I still haven't had a mc officially diagnosed - My partner still has hope, I'm waiting for the terrible bleeding to start

I have THREE pregnant friends

I was due New Years Day, when everybody else is celebrating I will be mourning.

 

[MinnieMone]

I'm feeling crap because:

My first due date this year is coming up in June and I know I'll cry all day
I know I only have another year to try for a baby with my own eggs as I'll be too old next year
The sales staff in Mamas and Papas must think I'm some crazy baby shop stalker, as each time I've gone in there I've been pregnant and asked about prams, yet I never buy one (I've had 3 mc's since last September, so I've been in there a lot!)
I don't think I will ever give my wonderful, gorgeous boyfriend a baby, and I'm thinking he should find someone younger who can give him a child
My boobs which were once pert and a DD, are now covered in blue veins, with aerola the size of flying saucers and hanging around by my lower ribcage, even though I have never breast fed my babies.
I have a secret stash of baby clothes, which I tell my boyfriend I'm buying for my pregnant friends, but I'm actually keeping for me although I know deep down I will never have a baby to put them on
All I see are beautiful, blossoming pregnant women everywhere, and I can't find any joy in it.
My 3rd due date was Xmas Eve.... i will now think of that date with sadness for the rest of my life.
All I think about is having a baby, and I no longer feel like me, it is consuming me.

Oh goodness those were really depressing sorry!

on a happy note it is a beautiful day, it's the weekend tomorrow, and things could be worse... (well not much worse, but I'm trying to be a be positive!)

 

[meow951]

I'm feeling crap because:

I have to work over xmas when i should be having my baby

Both my cousins are due to have their babies 2 weeks either side of my due date

I don't want to spend xmas with my extended family as there will 2 reminders that my baby wasn't allowed to live

I spend most of the day thinking about what stage i should be at and that i might have been feeling the baby move

I blame myself for painting our new house while i was pregnant and that the fumes might have killed my baby

 

[MissMaternal]

HUGE to everyone who has posted. I'm going to try not to feel crap today...the sun is shining, it's payday, and i'm going SHOPPING!

Because, if i can't spend money buying pink things for my baby girl , i should spent it on myself, right?!

Hope everyone isn't feeling too crappy today. xx

 

[jen_0709]

Yes MissMaternal! I am have a much better day today. Yesterday was a really crappy one, but the sun is shining, I am enjoying a good book lying in the garden getting some much needed relaxation while DS is at nursery.

I am back to work again on Monday, and am going to use it as a turning point to get a little normality back to life and get back into my fitness regime I was on before falling pregnant. (wasn't allowed to exercise through preg which I was gutted about) so I am actually looking forward to it. My bleeding has also stopped which is good. At least I won't be reminded of everything every time I go to the toilet.

I know not every day will be as positive as today but it makes me feel good when I'm not thinking about what we've lost every second of the day. I have to move on but our little one will never be forgotten

Enjoy the shopping - really treat yourself!

Love to you all xxxx

 

[cla]

i feel crap because......

i saw my baby moving on the scan moving around at 12 weeks and then to lose it at 17 weeks

everybody around be is pregnant or have just had a baby

i miss my bump

i have got to get the post mortom results next wednesday

 

[Mama Duck]

Every thursday makes me feel crappy as I would be x amount of weeks (yesterday I would've been 20 weeks) & every friday I feel crappy as that was the day I had to have my ERPC. 'Nuff said Another thing that makes me cry is the song 'Time To Say Goodbye' by Andrea Bocelli,such a beautiful song that sung both in English & Italian (I think Sarah Brightman is the female lead on the song). The thing that does'nt make me cry is the sound of a baby crying as I think it's the most joyous sound - for me it does'nt represent something I have lost but something to be celebrated as that baby who is crying is here alive & safe in this world iykwim xxx