Halen was 6lb 13.5oz, so small he was in preemie clothes at first, which we had bought none of, but luckily had been given a few pieces by OH's cousin who had twins so clearly preemies.
Kirsten I'm not sure I've read your birth story (if you posted it that is) but I'm sorry your birth was so traumatic
If anyone wants to read my complaint, I've pasted it here (sorry it's long!!)
Dear Ms Porter
I apologise if this letter is angry, but the care by Leicesters NHS Trust during my pregnancy needs to be spoken about as 7months after the birth of my son, I am still not at peace with my pregnancy or birth care.
My midwife throughout was a Mrs Jenny Walsh. At first she seemed like a very nice lady, very understanding and very supportive of my decision for a homebirth. I was elated as I had set myself up for a very long and difficult battle to have my homebirth. As my pregnancy progressed however, I feel the initial support was false. I believe this as every time I mentioned my birth plan and plans for home birthing, she would fan her hands in the air and tell me not to worry about such things yet as I had a long time left to think about this.
I was not always seen by Jenny, on the times I was, I always mentioned my homebirth plans but she would tell me to talk to her about it again next time I saw her and every time this next appointment was scheduled, she just so happened to be on holiday. I am not saying she purposely did so, but it seems a very large coincidence.
By the time I got to 35weeks and 5 days pregnant, I finally took my own birth plan in, made up from hours at home searching the internet for templates as quite frankly, I had no idea what a birth plan should look like as a first time mum. She browsed over it, telling me it was fine, measured my fundal height and gasped in shock, telling me I was measuring 38inches, so just over 2 weeks larger than I should of done. Despite the fact that she had previously told me that woman are given 2 inches either side of their gestation, she told me she would need to send me to a consultant to see if I would be allowed my homebirth. I politely told her that no-one has the authority to allow me to birth at home; I can make an informed decision to birth where I wish. She told me I was choosing to possibly kill my child as my child would be 8 or 9lbs and as I had an untrained pelvis, they didnt know if I would be able to deliver my child and could possibly have complications, such as Shoulder Dystocia.
None the less I went to this consultant appointment, only to be palpated excruciatingly hard by the consultant, told that I was a high case for Shoulder Dystocia and that inevitably I would give my unborn son brain damage by having a home birth or worse, kill him. I explained to the consultant I was aware of the risks of homebirth, which for a first time mother of a normal low risk pregnancy, as I was, are the same as a hospital delivery.
I went back to my midwife at 38 week and 5 days and told her I expected to be birthing at home, having bought a very expensive homebirth pool and kit and mentally preparing myself for a natural non medicated birth. She proceeded to tell me she would be visiting my house within the next week with her supervisor to give a risk assessment of my home as to whether I would be allowed a homebirth. Yet again I told her that I would be birthing at home and no one has the authority to allow me to birth where I choose.
She rang me later that day to tell me that she would be coming to my house at 39weeks and 4 days with her supervisor to give this risk assessment and in the mean time if I went into labour I would have to go to hospital as I wouldnt be allowed to homebirth. I repeated to her that I would be birthing at home whether or not she allowed me to do so. At this point I was very heavily pregnant, very stressed as I had moved house only several weeks before. I was a complete emotional wreck and felt bullied into choosing a hospital birth which I did not want to do. I wanted my child at home as I felt this was the safest and most comfortable place for me to labour and eventually birth.
On the morning of June 19th 2009 at 7am, exactly 39 weeks pregnant my waters broke. I had no contact numbers for my midwife, not that I wanted her to deliver my baby as I was still very upset with her bullying and scare tactics. I rang the labour ward at the Leicester Royal Infirmary, where I spoke to a midwife who told me to come in and be checked out as I wasnt at that point having contractions, but I would then be sent home to have my homebirth as it wasnt fair that I be denied one due to an unsupportive midwife.
Needless to say, when I arrived at the hospital only one hour after my phone call, I was told that I wouldnt be sent home as they felt the best place for me to deliver was in hospital. I cried and screamed at my partner in fear and frustration. I wanted my baby to born at home, in my birthing pool surrounded by the love and care of me and my partner, not in a hospital.
I was told I was 6cm, nearly 7cm, dilated and that they feared my baby would arrive any moment. In actual fact my son didnt arrive for another 2 hours. In that time I confined myself to a chair, crying with emotion, not pain. In my fear, I worked myself into such a state I fainted. I was then picked from the floor where I landed by my mother and my partner, not midwives, onto a gurney, where I was wheeled from the midwife led birthing unit onto the consultant led delivery suite. I cried and screamed with fear of my baby being born where I did not feel comfortable and didnt want to be. I was strapped to a bed with a contraction band around my stomach and a heart rate monitor clip on my finger. My sons head was clipped with a heart rate monitor as he was becoming distressed and his heart rate was dropping.
He was born 23minutes after I fainted, after a total of 5 minutes pushing. I had a 1st and 2nd degree perennial tear, a healthy 6lb 13.5oz son (not the suspected 8-9lb whooper I feared after being scare mongered) and a battered and bruised confidence.
My poor midwives where upset for me that my planned homebirth didnt happen. They told me to complain if I felt I was mistreated and that they hoped my next birth would go to plan. As upset as I was at being in hospital, my midwives on that fateful day made it easier, they where both lovely woman and I am genuinely grateful for their help and support and feel their presence eased my discomfort.
I was stitched up, showered and home by 4pm that same afternoon, back in the safety and comfort of my own home. I sat and stared at my birth pool, the full weight of my realisation that my birth was over and I did not have the chance to birth in my pool hitting my shoulders.
The next day a midwife came to visit me at my home; she was called Winny and had a student with her. At first I was glad and relieved to see her as I was having trouble with latching my son onto my breast to feed. My relief soon turned to horror as she proceeded to grab my breast without asking and try to shove my nipple down my poor sons tiny throat. As he screamed and I cried, she tugged and pulled on my breast, rubbing my nipple over his mouth in the struggle to get him latch on. I told her to stop and she didnt, telling me my breasts where possibly too large to feed my son?? I have never heard of such nonsense! I asked them to leave and instead phoned my mother to come help me, who showed me how to latch him on and after 3 days of trying we both eventually got the hang of it, never again asking for help from a midwife, nor telling them of our struggle for fear of being abused again by a midwife with no sense of personal space nor manners.
I was seen by my assigned midwife at 10 days postpartum, the first time since having my son. She made no mention to my homebirth plans, didnt offer any kind of apology, nor did she even seem awkward at the fact that she had messed me around and left me so uninformed I had no choice but to give birth where I didnt want to.
It is now 7months since going birth and my life is still plagued by my experience, I found it incredibly hard to bond with my son, as I felt irrationally angry towards him, blaming him for coming earlier than due and for coming too soon for me to get home from hospital. I sank so low into depression I considered suicide, finding myself mentally replaying my birth in my head every waking second, it cursed my dreams at night, I would wake fearful and upset thinking I was still in that hospital bed. I often sit and look at my birth pool, now boxed and in a cupboard awaiting the next child. I cant help but feel cheated from my dream birth through no fault of my own. I still harbour bad feelings towards my assigned midwife, so much so that if I was to get pregnant again and couldnt afford an independent midwife, as is my plan, I would certainly not be having that same midwife again.
I feel my care from Leicester NHS Trust was not care at all, merely a begrudged treatment of a young pregnant mother who wanted to go against the normal birth plan and have a birth at home. I would never recommend a pregnant mother to be seen by a Leicester NHS midwife or consultant as in my experience I have found them to be lying, scare mongering bullies.
Yours
Jayleigh Stretton
I still get all 
I never left, they kept me in and I had him in hospital. I demanded I be sent straight home and kept pressing the emergency buzzer until they gave in and sent me home 4 n a half hour later. the midwife the next day decided that as I was having problems latching Halen on, she would grab my boob and shove it down his throat repeatedly for a good 10mins, the poor little mite was screaming his head off and I was bawling my eyes out.
