The Really Useful TCM Thread

[Coley1974]

Well, my niece is in the air and on her way back to the UK. My mom and I took her to IHOP this morning. I haven't been there in forever since I can't eat their pancakes anymore. I have to say... they give you a TON of food! I got the 2 egg, 2 bacon, 2 sausage & hash brown deal and OMG!! I couldn't even eat half of it. Usually when you order 2 scrambled eggs, the pan seems to keep an egg for itself... but it looked like 3 eggs on my plate!

My mom got the funnel cake with strawberries & whipped cream and my niece got the kids pancake meal. Silly waitress asked if I wanted toast instead of the pancakes when I told her I was allergic to wheat. Took her a second to realize what she'd said!

After breakfast, we went next door to Chuck E. Cheese. My mom had a coupon for 160 tokens for $25 bucks, so Dani got to play just about everything she could think of! She wound up with 640 tickets which equaled a ton of plastic crap from their "prize counter"!!

I was expecting to be on my way home from the airport now, because the last time, they made me stay there until her flight took off in the event of a "problem". But today, DH dropped me off, I got her checked in, the dude told her to say her Goodbyes and he'd take her upstairs. I asked if I needed to stay and he said "Nope, we've got it from here." So I had to call DH and tell him to turn around and come back.

Now I'm home, in my comfy jammies and chillin' out! Tomorrow is the first day this week that I don't have anywhere to go!!! Praise Jebus!! (see Simpsons Movie) So I'll get to have a bit of a lie in tomorrow, then Thursday I've gotta keep the truck for my acupuncture appt.

In Cycle Related News... there's not much to report. My temp ticked down some today, but not enough for me to think it means anything. I don't really have any symptoms to speak of. But I suppose, even if this does turn out to be our month, it'd be too soon for any symptoms anyway.

I did have some weird cramps this morning that made DH say "Maybe the one time we did it this month, we actually caught it." I said "Hey! Hey!! We did it TWO times!!"

My thoughts of my craptacular BD timing and all the jacked up things that happened this cycle were reignited & amplified by my friend "S" sending me 3 texts containing ultrasound pics of their baby today. Sigh.

I texted her a "Congrats" and she asked how I was, etc, etc. I told her I was "doing alright, no use complaining" (one of my grandmother's famous sayings). She asked what was wrong and I pretty much blew it off with "just stuff". After her reaction the last time I didn't text her straight away... there's no way I can confide in her that, while I'm happy for her, her updates cause my heart to break into a million little pieces.

Blah!! I'm just happy to be home and able to relax.

 

[Jen1802]

Whitbit congratulations! Here's hoping its a sticky bean! The Infertility Cure was a total life saver for me and really explained how everything worked! Hope everyone else is getting on ok! xo

 

[Jen1802]

Coley I just read your last post there, I know how hard it is to hear everyone else's good news. If you go back through the thread you'll see some of my rants along the same line. I don't think anyone who has never had to struggle to conceive can ever fully understand what its like for us who have problems. I still feel really, really resentful of those people who just frigging sneeze and it happens for them....grrrrrr! Hope you're ok! xox

 

[TurboTurtle80]

Hey Coley! Hope you're ok. It's hard, and believe me, we all understand. I notice myself being a lot more aggravated as time goes on. It'll happen for you hun, hang in there. Oh man the food at IHOP!! Girl I had a hard time coping this morning thinking of their pancakes! lol!

So not sure if anyone has been on my journal in the past few days. I have a few pics up and tons of drama. Basically my temp is up and I have had almost positive opks. My pcos has me bitter about it tho, since I don't think its really about me ovulating. Just a body spasm. Grr. I've also started running. I'm doing the Couch to 5K program. Loving every minute of it. Too sore to walk, but I walk anyways to work my blood. Dr. Nguyen says running will help my cycles get on track also, so I'm all for it! I'm training for the Turkey Trot here; hopefully I can do it. I have acu this Friday before my Gyne visit, which works out good, cuz I'm pretty tired of having new ppl put their paws all over me and need the calming of acu before I have another pap. uugh, annoying.

 

[Coley1974]

Thanks Girls...

It wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't helped her get pg! She had no freakin' clue what she was doing or what was going on with her cycle. I told her how to temp, set her up on Fertility Friend, took her to buy Red Raspberry Leaf Tea because her cycles were funky, took her to buy Preseed, answered her endless questions and lent her my copy of Taking Charge of Your Fertility.

She tried texting me a few months back before I got my new cell phone and I never got the messages until days later. I get inundated by all these nasty messages saying "I understand if it's hard to be around me right now, but at least tell me and don't ignore me" "I thought you would be happy for me instead of resenting me for something that is out of my control"... just really self centered inconsiderate comments that were really hurtful. I mean, maybe I'd had a family emergency or something. After all I'd done to help her get pg in the first damn place, ya know?

I set her straight, but after that... I'll never confide my thoughts or feelings in her. I would've thought she'd be more understanding because a friend of hers had to go IVF, but apparently not. I've just been burned by "friends" turning into completely different people the moment they get pg.

Had some weird crampy things today, I'm gassy as all hell and my bbs have just started getting tender today. They got sore at 8 dpo last cycle, so it may not mean a damn thing.

 

[Coley1974]

Congrats Whitbit... Looks like you can donate that book to a needy infertile!

 

[Chiclady]

Hi Everyone - CD2 over here. I wasn't feeling pregnant, but I was hopeful nonetheless. It sucks to be facing another cycle. On the bright side, my flow has been significantly heavier and with some small clots, which I haven't had before. Since I'm being treated for blood stagnation and cold uterus, this is apparently promising to my acupuncturist. Apparently, I need to get rid of some of the old blood that is slow moving in there (i.e. clots) in order to really balance myself out. She's encouraged me to use a heating pad on my abdomen every other day up to ovulation.

I've just picked up "Infertility Cure" at the library and am looking forward to reading it while on vacation next week.

Coley - I hear you on the news from friends. Of course we're happy for them, but it only serves to remind you of what you haven't been able to achieve! I am specifically avoiding facebook and all other places because I hate to hear anyone complain about being pregnant and uncomfortable. Don't they know I'd trade shoes with them in a heartbeat?

 

[Coley1974]

Chic - I know, right? And the fact that she got her BFP, like, the 2nd month after I got her all set up was like salt in the wound. Obviously I know what needs to be done to get pg, I just can't do it my damn self!! GRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!

So sorry about the witch showin' up and ruinin' your good time... but that's such fantastic news about the changes in flow!! Sounds like good signs that your body is getting rid of the old stuff and workin' on making the perfect place for your beautiful bean!

We'll get there... We have to believe that!!

 

[Coley1974]

I have soooooo much gas!!! And it's comin' out of both ends!!

Praying it's for a darn good reason!

 

[Coley1974]

DH and I tried a new restaurant last night! We went to Don Pablo's and it was really good! Our server was really great! I had checked their website before we went, and saw they had a G-free menu online. I asked him for one and he said they didn't have them in store, but he knew the entire menu and could tell us what was safe and what wasn't.

We got a half bean dip half cheese dip appetizer, DH got Carnitas (roasted pork w/ tortillas) and I got chicken enchiladas. Everything was really excellent! It tasted fresh, came out quick and the portions were so big we had plenty to bring home!

Football sucked last night. Stupid Eagles playin' like a bunch of num-nuts! GRR!! I didn't even see the whole game because I started yawning like a fool around 9:15 or so. Next thing I knew DH was waking me up at 10:17 to send me to bed. I was in bed and out before I knew it.

OMG! I had this dream about my BBT... I was so annoyed until I woke up and realized it wasn't real! I dreamed that I woke up today, grabbed my BBT, turned it on and stuck it in my mouth. When it didn't beep, I pulled it out to make sure it was on and the numbers were all fading like the battery was dying!

I started panicking and shaking the thermometer, then I stressed that all the shaking would throw my temp off. I tried taking it again, but they were still fading, so I opened it to take the battery out and put it back in... still fading. I had to resign myself to having no temp on my chart for 9 dpo and I was soooo jacked!! I can't tell you how happy I was when I woke up and realized that I could actually temp today! What a dork, huh?

Speaking of temps... today's is a hair higher than yesterday's. Like literally a hair! Yesterday's temp was 98.47 and today's is 98.48! Bbs are still tender, cervix is still low and CM is still like lotion.

So that's the sitch with me this mornin'... I'm hoping because that's about all I can do right now!

 

[fitzy79]

Chiclady..sorry to hear witch got you but the heavier flow and clearout of clots sounds good. My acu said similar to yours..it's a sign that the uterus is having a good clearout so that has to be good

Coley, your Mexican meal sounds fab! Hope this cycle is it for you..how many dpo are you??

 

[Coley1974]

Thanks Fitzy! It really was!

I'm 9 DPO today...

 

[Coley1974]

Just puked up my dinner...

That is all.

 

[Coley1974]

Don't think anyone is even reading this anymore, as it seems I'm the only one posting... so maybe I'm just sitting here talking to myself, but whatever...

I'm 11dpo today. Temp ticked down, but it's probably not enough to be bad. 98.42 yesterday and 98.40 today...

Cervix is still low and really soft, cm is still lotiony & there's a good bit of it, bit of gas, dull low abdomen cramps and bbs are still really sore.

I just want this so BAD and am so tired of waiting!!

 

[Coley1974]

Not sure if I'm going to keep posting here or not. I was so excited to find this thread initially because there was so much activity from people going thru the same thing. Maybe the folks who were posting here before have all gotten pg, so they aren't bothered any longer. That being said, this may be my last update... I just feel kind of stupid being here.

I cried last night whilst emptying the dishwasher. Felt so horribly sad. DH came in to help and asked if I was ok. I asked if I could have a hug and he said "Of course" I started bawling and told him I was just so sad. I told him that I knew AF was going to come soon and it made me sad even though I knew this cycle was a super long shot, how nothing ever means anything for me, how hard it was watching my friend rub her belly and go on and on about her pg symptoms/problems...

He held me tight as I apologized and said I knew I was being stupid. He reassured me that I wasn't and that I had nothing to apologize for. I took a deep breath and he kissed me on the tip of my nose.

We finished watching the 2nd half of Return of The King and then went to bed. I had a bunch of really bizarre dreams. I have had the most restless sleep the past week with odd dreams that usually involve me crying because of someone else's BFP or some example of how barren I am.

Temp is 98.41 today. If I'm being honest, I actually expected it to be lower even though I felt like I was sweltering when I woke up and the sheet on my side of the bed was damp with sweat. Cervix is still low and soft, bbs still sore, bit of cramping, no bleeding yet... although it's surely just a matter of time. The tissue is clean when I wipe, but the faintest bit of pink shows when I wipe my finger on the tissue after checking my cervix.

Last month's LP was 13 days, so she may not come until Tuesday or Wednesday. Feeling pretty damn blue right now.

If anyone actually reads this, I wish you all the best and hope TCM brings you your BFP's.

 

[fitzy79]

Coley, am sorry you're feeling so low..don't you worry, I understand all too well what that's like. It's not over til the witch shows so keep the chin up for another few days! As for the thread being quiet, there were a lot of new girls posting a few weeks ago alright - don't know what's happened them all! I havnt posted regularly in a long time but always check in when I see new postings. Regarding TCM - I had to be very patient, Ireally believe in it but it can take some time .. Keep the faith Hun!

 

[Jen1802]

Coley I'm sooo sorry you're having such a shit time right now! Believe me we have all been there and some of our journeys ttc have been longer and tougher than others! I have to say though that all the signs you are having are still incredibly positive. When I got pregnant with dd and with this one too the week before I found out, my husband knew I was pregnant because I was having exactly the same emotional symptoms as you. I was soooo depressed and desolate and couldn't stop crying and being snappy and just completely miserable. This could be a positive sign! I'll keep checking in on this to make sure you ok! xox

 

[Coley1974]

Well... my temp has done the unthinkable today. It has gone... UP!

I'm terrified and feel like I could burst into tears. I'm so afraid to think that it could be a good sign. I'm entirely too freaked out and scared to test. Hell I was afraid to go pee for the first time because I swore there would be red when I wiped.

I'm just so afraid that my body is playing yet another cruel joke on me... It likes to do that every now and again, don'tcha know. Lure me into a false sense of security and then BAM! I call myself trying to outsmart her... A "You won't fool me this time!" kinda thing.

Another restless night's sleep full of dreams. Although this time I was spared dreams about ME ! I dreamed I was a guest at a Gordon Ramsay restaurant... like I knew him and we were chatting and all. I'm totally sure that's because we watched Hell's Kitchen last night. I do remember tasting these scalloped potatoes in the dream and they were like HEAVEN! The creamiest things you'll ever want to put in your mouth!

Then I woke to temp, did a , and rolled back over. When DH got out of the shower, he told me he thinks I have a parasite because I was on fire and sweaty all night in my sleep. I tried reminding him that I should be hot right now...

Me: I am kinda in a progesterone surge.
DH: But does it last for a week?
Me: Uh... yeah. Like, two! (You'd think we hadn't been doing this for 30 months!)
DH: Well, I've lived with you for 12 years and you've never been like this before. I swear if you were to get out of the bed, there'd be a yellow outline of your body on the sheet.
Me: Well, if it makes you feel better... if I poo today, I'll be sure to take a look at it before I flush.

The funny thing is... if this is our cycle, he might've just given me the greatest idea for how to give him the news!

Me: Remember how you said you thought I had a parasite?
DH: Yeah...
Me: Well, I went to the bathroom today and discovered you were right. (hand him the pee stick)

That would be hysterical! Not the most mushy way to do it like the "bun" in the oven or a big brother/sister t-shirt on your dog or anything, but it would be funny!

After he left for work, I wound up passing back out and dreamed that Cinder (our 12 year old Border Collie) shat ALL OVER the apt! It was literally like a mine field that I had to tip toe through just to get something to clean it up. And in perfect dream fashion, I'm using the tiniest cup in the world to hold the soapy water. Too bizarre!

So my bbs are still sore, cervix is still low and I'm pretty sure I'm still gassy. I haven't had any Target level gas today, but then again, I've been awake for less than an hour so far.

I'm still afraid the will come... But I'm with all my heart that she doesn't.

 

[TurboTurtle80]

Hi girls.

Coley, sorry you've had such a hard time. Sometimes these threads get quiet. That's when I turn to my journal. It is a life saver when I need to vent and not even worry if someone is listening. Your symptoms sound great though. Fx for you hun.

Afm, I've been off bnb for a few days, randomly popping in for a sec here n there. Had a cervical biopsy on Friday that sent me off in my own little world because of the pain. Nothing super new to report.

 

[Coley1974]

Zoinks!! A cervical biopsy doesn't sound like a good time by any stretch of the imagination!

How soon will you get your results?