The Tucker's Adoption Journey

[missk1989]

Oh great news! We should be going to panel around the same time. Our social workers say they often have an idea of who you will be matched with before you even reach panel. Fingers crossed it doesnt take long!

 

[Srbjbex]

Great news that's not far at all!!

Unfortunately we've been deferred. We had our initial visit and it did go well, but my brother in law died a couple of weeks ago and the social worker has decided to move us off the April prep groups (room deal with our loss) and move us to the July groups. But we can't make the July course as were in Greece then, so it's now September for us. All positive feedback from the meet and they definitelywantus but can't help feel gutted with the delay.

 

[missk1989]

Sorry to hear about your BIL and being deferred as a result. Can't you continue with some of the assessment in the meantime? Get references and medicals etc done?

 

[DaTucker]

So sorry about your BIL, srb. I know I would be super frustrated about being pushed back as well. We're really hoping to have a little one before Christmas. On the to her hand...GREECE. I'm so jealous!!

I hope the rest of you have been doing well with all your panels and home studies!

We start our first PRIDE classes (training classes)April 7th and I couldn't be more excited! They end mid May then all we have left is a home study and we should be good to go! They say the entire process should take about 4 months so we're looking around August to be able to start looking for a little one

 

[dreamofabean]

Ooh how exciting Hun!
Our sw visited my mom today to update her reference. My mom Made a comment about 'hopeful we'll have anew baby in family by xmas' and she apparently said she thinks it'll be a good while before Xmas! Eek!

 

[Srbjbex]

Oh wow that's all great news Tucker and dream!!! New little ones coming along to this thread soon!

We cant do the prep groups until September but the social worker has put a note on file to start our medical / DBVS checks from the end of July. They very much work in quarterly cycles, so wont do anything before then, BUT it should mean that the prep groups form the end of stage 1 and we can proceed straight into the homestudy. Obvioulsy we know now we wont have a new child by Christmas, but I am over this now, and looking forward to everything else inbetween - planning lots of fun things for the summer

We are at Bluestone in Wales next week, we have our week in Greece with all my family in a bigvilla, we are going to Geronimofest in May (a children's festival with some of the Cbeebies characters there), we will go to Thomasland at some point (its only 20 mins from us) and I'm planning on booking lots more fun stuff in to make it go quickly until September!!!

 

[dreamofabean]

We have Thomas land season passes: love it there!

 

[missk1989]

HI everyone,
We are nearly finished with the home study and are hurtling towards panel (beginning of June). They want to meet our son next week. They said they want to ask him if he would be happy with a baby sister (keeps saying he wants a baby brother) - wondering if that was a hint about the child they have in mind for us.

 

[dreamofabean]

Ooh exciting! Our boy keeps saying a baby boy too! Lol
I know they do try to match with what child wants too. Our la always have far more boys available, so I am fully expecting to be a mommy to 2 boys! E will get his wish

 

[DaTucker]

I love how they match yall in the UK! I wish it was more like that here. We pretty much have to go through a private agency to get a kid younger than 3. At our orientation the lady said straight up to not even ask for a baby bc it's very unlikely it would happen. I'm still going to ask them to keep us in mind if any babies get put into the system, though.

Srb, that's great they are still working to get things moving! One less thing to do after your classes.

 

[DaTucker]

Oh, and tomorrow starts our classes!! The last class is May 7th. This month is going to pass by so quickly!

 

[dreamofabean]

Ooh that's exciting Hun! Time will fly!
Yeah it's Amazing how well the matching works. You'd never realize our little boy wasn't our biological child unless you were told! He looks a lot like us both!

 

[missk1989]

Hi all,
We have had our SW round meeting our Birth son today. Went really well but we have had to move our panel date back to July as they haven't had chance to meet our references yet. Quite disappointed but hoping time passes well.
Hope your all doing well.

 

[dreamofabean]

Ah glad it went well! Time will fly hun, a month is nothing. Just think... Maybe your baby isn't ready yet x

 

[missk1989]

I guess so...last time they were here they hinted that they had a child in mind but today said there were much fewer babies so may take longer after approval than previously thought. Its great for those children i suppose

 

[dreamofabean]

I find it really frustrating as unfortunately it's usually not 'great' for those children. They're generally not being returned to birth parents, just waiting on foster care longer whilst a judge tries to decide what to do :/
The picture nationally is fewer children with placement orders so people are generally waiting longer for a match. I guess time will tell for us all...

 

[Srbjbex]

Grrr I hate delays, I'm sorry that you guys are all experiencing delays too - I wonder when our first little one on this thread will arrive! I'm following all your journey's with such enthusiasm!

Obviously no news from us (there wont be now until August at the earliest) but actually, getting deferred until the Sept prep groups I think was good as I was soooo happy that we didn't end up driving back from our hol for a day - we had such a lovely time there with Elliot it would have seemed a real shame to leave him there and miss out on a day with him! And I'm looking forward to a lovely summer with him - next up is Geronimofest! https://www.geronimofest.com/

Last weekend we had some friends round who were in a similar situation to us - well, it was someone I used to work with years ago who I know had adopted after having a biological child. I got back in touch with him recently after years! he was more than happy to share his experience so him and his wife and 2 kiddos came round on Saturday afternoon - it was so lovely to see their adopted son so integrated into the family,and so happy! They got on brilliantly with Elliot and we had such a lovely afternoon they didn't leave until after bedtime! It's absolutely reassured my vision that this is the right path for us.

 

[DaTucker]

I don't think over here they actually meet the references, they just give them a call. Thank goodness bc most of our references are about 5 hours away.

Srb, it's always great to have that affirmation! I have had days where I question if I'm doing the right thing and other days where I absolutely can't wait!

We were supposed to have our first home study yesterday and meet our social worker but the rain has been ridiculous so she had to reschedule. Apparently during the first meeting they inspect your home top to bottom, inside and out. I'm actually glad she rescheduled bc there's a particular closet in my house that's a little....inaccessible ...from being used as storage. And that's saying it nicely. It will probably take all week to sort through everything in there!!

Our 4th class is on Saturday. After that we have 5 left, including a CPR class. There's so much to get in order!!

 

[missk1989]

I wish they just rang ours, it is really hard to ask a friend (who will not benefit one bit) to take time off work to meet with our social workers. I know my dad was a reference for my aunt to foster her grandchild so it is done with some LA's here.
We are having a bit of a problem organising the references on my side as they want to meet all 3 and my cousin is struggling with dates (one SW just gone part time so not many to choose from). The most recent one they gave was mid june but I think if they wait that long then we will be deferred to August as they won't be able to get paper work done. I have emailed our SW asking if this would be the case hoping they will decide to just see the two references I can get to agree to dates.

 

[dreamofabean]

It can be so frustrating can't it? Is there nobody you could ask to be a referee? Our sw has only visited 2 of our 3 this time, unsure whether she plans to visit the 3rd or not.
I think the hardest part of the process is just handing over control completely. I know I found it so difficult the first time, I agonised about every aspect. This time I've far more relaxed.,.. But still have my moments