The Tucker's Adoption Journey

[missk1989]

We already have 5, she is no.6. They are only seeing 2 from DH side so don't see why they need to see 3 of mine. That will be 5 references in person and then an extra on paper not including employer and nursery reference. Why do they need so many?? I am really frustrated with it all at the moment as I feel a bit mislead and work are doing my head it talking about needing cover etc.

 

[dreamofabean]

That's a lot! Our Sw met both moms, then 2 friends for our first assessment and sent questionnaires to 2 others.
This time she's seen my mom and 1 other referee. 2 others have had a questionnaire.
My work have been asking too but I can't give them a timeframe. Panel is 30th June as far as we know but other than that... How long is a piece of string?!
It's strange as I really don't feel like we're being assessed this time. We've seen Sw 3 times! She may come out once more, that's it! I think it's helped as its the same Sw so just feels like a catch up rather than interrogation! Lol
The nursery is decorated so e can get used to it, but other than that, nothing has changed!
E told me today that "M (Sw) coming, she find baby for me! " so cute, he'll be such a lovely big brother x

 

[Srbjbex]

missk - wow that is such a lot of references!! I'm really hoping they come up with a practical solution. I understand they need to be thorough but like you say they have met 5/6! Would a Skype interview be possible as a compromise - I know my LA said they do that for referees that are far away. I know how much you don't want any more delays!

 

[missk1989]

HI ALL

Hope its going well. The social worker came back to me and said that the references will not delay us another month but they have now managed to get a date to see to them anyway and are speaking to one on the phone. Fingers crossed for a straight road from here!

 

[dreamofabean]

Ah that's good Hun! Yay!

 

[DaTucker]

That is good news! We are going to be delayed a but bc ds's babysitter had to cancel Saturday so we had to miss a class. That's so aggravating!!

We have to provide 6 references, 3 family and 3 non family.

We finally met our sw on Thursday!! We have a huge list of things to do (lock case for guns, fire extinguisher, FBI fingerprints...the list goes on and ON) I know May is going to pass quickly bc of every in we have to do!

 

[missk1989]

FBI fingerprints?? Sounds serious!

Gutted that you are delayed too. It is very frustrating.

 

[Srbjbex]

Maybe we should change the name of this thread to the adoption delay thread haha!!

Wow that sounds a serious list tucker...please do enlighten us on the fingerprints!

 

[tag74]

Following!

 

[DaTucker]

Lol at the delay thread! I actually do want to change the name of it since it's all of our journeys now but have no idea how to.

Hi tag, welcome! Good luck on your adoption journey!

Today we finished the CPR/First Aid class! We still have our make-up class in July, then we're finished with all classes! Tomorrow is our FBI finger printing, which btw really isn't serious unless you have something to hide lol. Those people know everything about everyone!

 

[DaTucker]

Also I'm kind of having difficulties deciding if we're going to outright adopt an older child or foster a baby and cross our fingers they go up for adoption... it's such a risk to do that... but I like the thought of ds being the oldest bc he is our first. I know I need to decide soon but I just don't know...

 

[tag74]

following!

 

[dreamofabean]

Ah it's tough isn't it da tucker?
We are going straight out adoption as I couldn't take that risk personally. However, they will only place a child younger than our son, so it's an easier decision. I don't think our boy would cope with an older child coming into the home, he needs to be the oldest!
These are all the things that people who don't adopt just don't understand. The constant agonising over whether you're making the right decisions for your family!
Our sw messaged me yesterday, all paperwork like medicals etc has been returned so she's just completing our report. We are on track to submit all paperwork for end of June panel. Whoop!

 

[missk1989]

HI all

Sounds like things are moving along for everyone. Very exciting.

I agree its a tough decision to make baby or older. We couldn't foster to adopt as our son builds attachments so easily that it would be heartbreaking if the child was taken back. Also though, our son needs to be the oldest. He is super bossy and very protective.

 

[Srbjbex]

Yes, we have made the same decision on foster to adopt. Whilst we might be able to have the risk, there is no way we could do it to our son, to introduce a baby brother or sister when it's not 100% sure they would remain with us.

Hi tag!

 

[DaTucker]

I think if we fostered older kids our son would have a hard time letting them go. We have a foreign exchange student who goes home in 2 weeks and he is going to be devastated! They have formed such a strong attachment. He just loves older kids in general. He really doesn't likeep babies much so I don't think it will be an issue with him if we couldn't adopt one we fostered. Me on the other hand...

We're heading off for a family reunion/vacation in 2 weeks! We're going to Branson, Missouri with pretty much all of dh's family...and that's a LOT of people...he has 6 siblings!! It will be fun though, and a great last trip for our exchange student.

Still waiting on that last class...it is literally the only thing standing between us and our first placement. Come on July!! We did meet a couple over the weekend who recently adopted a 7 year old girl, which is the age we were possibly considering. They told about the difficulties they've been through but also told us how rewarding it is. They did say in their opinion a younger child might be better for us because of our son's age. It was great getting the perspective of an actual adoptive family!

Dream, end of June is coming quick!!

 

[dreamofabean]

Ah that's great da tucker, it always helps hearing from people who have been through the process!
Yep the end of June is fast approaching! Our sw sent us our full report on Friday. We just have to sign it and return it! Eek!

 

[dreamofabean]

Hi all
Hope everyone is well we had panel today, got a unanimous yes

 

[Srbjbex]

Hoooray - congratulations dream!!

Still waiting to kick off here, but finally feels like we're getting close. SW will be submitting all our checks etc at the end of July...so I can finally say we start THIS MONTH!

 

[dreamofabean]

Ah that's fab Hun!
We were told yesterday that our la has lots of sibling groups but very few singletons at the moment, so I guess we could be in for quite a wait. Time will tell I guess.last time we were approved there were no children ready but within 5 weeks we had our son's profile, things can change quickly! Fingers crossed x