The Young WTTers Club!

[mandaa1220]

by the way... didn't mean that to sound rude if it did! i just dont want the wrong ideas being thought about us... most of our tickers are about our relationships or have 5+ years countdown til ttc. i do however appreciate any advice and things like that remind me that it is best to wait

 

[nadupoi]

I cannot speak for everybody, but I can speak for myself. A baby is difficult. A baby will take away everything about my life now that is about me. A baby will change everything. BUT. I am aware of that. And you know what, so be it. That's what I want out of my life. I want a family. And I want children. And I want my father to be able to know that he is a grandfather. It wont be an easy road to travel. Sometimes it will be nice, but not all things about pregnancy and babies and family are bad. It's supposed to be a joyous thing and a celebrated thing.

There are girls out there who do not understand. But nobody here has said anything about having a child young.

And personally, I feel that no woman can ever be ready for what a child will bring. You can read all of the book and talk to all kinds of people... be around babies your whole life. But until you really experience it for yourself.. and it's your own child being brought into the world... you can never be 100% ready. No matter if you're 15 or 50.


I do appreciate your concern and I am greatful you shared it with us. It's always good to know that there are people out there looking out for us young ones.

 

[mandaa1220]

I'm not really the going out type either... I would much prefer to stay in with my OH and watch the TV. I'm not really a typical teenager, I drink at parties etc but have never gotten that drunk and I don't enjoy parties, I have only ever kissed two guys, and me and my OH are so much more serious about our relationship than our friends.

And re the virginity thing, I was (and am) 15, which I know is very young and I do feel bad about it. I was never jealous of my friends for having sex because I just wasn't interested, and just knew that when the time was right, I would know. Me and OH had been together for 7 months at that point and we both felt ready. I am glad I did it with him, even if it was young, because if we break up I can say that I lost it to someone I loved and cared about and felt comfortable with. One of my friends was hell bent on saving it for the perfect guy then got drunk and did it with a friend who she didn't know that well. So yes I was young but I don't have any regrets.

I'm sorry, I wasn't implying that just because you're young it's bad at all... I should've explained further... Both of my two best friends who did have sex at 14's relationships didn't turn out so well... they didn't get to know the person well enough before they had sex with them and I think sex adds so much to a relationship, which they were not personally ready to deal with.

I wasn't jealous that they did it necessarily, but more jealous that they would talk about it and I felt left out maybe? But it's just one of those things that is your own personal choice of when you do it or not... and I waited. I would have probably done it younger if I had found someone, but Chris was my first really serious relationship and we started dating when I was just turning 17.

I didn't mean that to be a jab at you, if you thought it was!

 

[mandaa1220]

And personally, I feel that no woman can ever be ready for what a child will bring. You can read all of the book and talk to all kinds of people... be around babies your whole life. But until you really experience it for yourself.. and it's your own child being brought into the world... you can never be 100% ready. No matter if you're 15 or 50.

agreed... i know people who are closer to 40 that are having difficulty raising their children and i don't think they were prepared for eveyrthing it brought

 

[nadupoi]

agreed... i know people who are closer to 40 that are having difficulty raising their children and i don't think they were prepared for eveyrthing it brought

My mom had five kids (3 different fathers). Her first was when she was 17. Her last was when she was 39. Each has been a very very different experience for her in and of itself. I'm the middle child and it's been very interesting watching my younger sister grow up (she just turned 10 in August).

 

[thompsonic]

No worries, I didn't think you were having a jab but I am very self concious of the fact that I did have sex young. In my friendship circle I am considered a 'good girl' but I just worry how I come across and I realise at 15 it isn't even legal and everyone here is so nice I didn't want them to think I'm a slag or anything, so I felt the need to overexplain myself...

And btw, thanks for explaining the whole we are not planning pregnancies thing, I read it but wasn't sure what to reply with so left it...

I agree with what you've said. I am prepared for a lot of hardship when the time comes, which is one of the reasons I'm waiting, so I can have support and help without being judged. I'm not going to pretend I'll be an amazing mummy, I'm sure I'll cock up but I'm going to try my best....

 

[mandaa1220]

agreed... i know people who are closer to 40 that are having difficulty raising their children and i don't think they were prepared for eveyrthing it brought

My mom had five kids (3 different fathers). Her first was when she was 17. Her last was when she was 39. Each has been a very very different experience for her in and of itself. I'm the middle child and it's been very interesting watching my younger sister grow up (she just turned 10 in August).

I think we're possibly twins.
I have a little brother and sister (both are my dad's children) and my sister is MUCH younger than me... she just turned 5 and its definately different from most people that i know

 

[nadupoi]

Thompsonic... I was 15 when I lost my virginity, also, don't be so self concious. You can never take back the past.. and I don't know why anybody would want to.

There's some great girls right here. YUP

 

[mandaa1220]

No worries, I didn't think you were having a jab but I am very self concious of the fact that I did have sex young. In my friendship circle I am considered a 'good girl' but I just worry how I come across and I realise at 15 it isn't even legal and everyone here is so nice I didn't want them to think I'm a slag or anything, so I felt the need to overexplain myself...

And btw, thanks for explaining the whole we are not planning pregnancies thing, I read it but wasn't sure what to reply with so left it...

I agree with what you've said. I am prepared for a lot of hardship when the time comes, which is one of the reasons I'm waiting, so I can have support and help without being judged. I'm not going to pretend I'll be an amazing mummy, I'm sure I'll cock up but I'm going to try my best....

you shouldnt feel self conscious hun... sure you were young, but you were in love. i hate the way some people put an expected age for people to have sex and if you aren't within the "age range" they are considered slutty or wierd.

plus you are very different from the friends i was referring too... like i said they're situations turned out both quite dramatically different and it seems like yours is lovely and full of love

 

[nadupoi]

I think we're possibly twins.
I have a little brother and sister (both are my dad's children) and my sister is MUCH younger than me... she just turned 5 and its definately different from most people that i know

Oh that's crazy!! I have a younger brother (same father as me)... and the younger sister. AND two older sister who are both significantly older than I. One is 29 the Other is 32. Both have 4 children and have had hysterectomies...

I guess there is a pressure, too. I'm NEXT!! AHH

 

[mandaa1220]

I think we're possibly twins.
I have a little brother and sister (both are my dad's children) and my sister is MUCH younger than me... she just turned 5 and its definately different from most people that i know

Oh that's crazy!! I have a younger brother (same father as me)... and the younger sister. AND two older sister who are both significantly older than I. One is 29 the Other is 32. Both have 4 children and have had hysterectomies...

I guess there is a pressure, too. I'm NEXT!! AHH

that's one of the things that makes me so impatient as well... many of my female family members (grandmother and aunt specifically) have had to have hysterectamies because of endrometriosis. i'm so scared if i wait too long, i won't have the chance to be pregnant and that is something i think i'll always regret.

 

[shocker]

Hey im 18 (turning 19 next month) not with anyone right now, never actually wanted to have kids before but things have changed since ive had the chance to know what its like. Just want that amazing joy back right now but yeah im facing a long wait but when the time comes i know i'll be worth the wait

 

[Strawberries]

Re the partying thing.. I'm not a party girl either. I'd much rather go out for dinner and have a couple of drinks than go to the dancing and get rat-arsed and put myself in danger. I prefer to just stay in with OH, snuggled up with a film and some munchies

Manda- thanks for replying to the unplanned pregnancies post.. I was about to retort quite angrily when I noticed your post, and you put it much much better than I could

Elly- Don't feel bad about having sex so young, you're obviously in a very committed relationship and it's no-one else's business. I was first out of my friends to have sex, and even though I was 16 they were all sniping at me because of it but at the end of the day me and OH thought the time was right and I'm glad we did do it soon in our relationship.

 

[broody_mama]

I didnt mean to seem harsh in what I was saying in my previous post, I know you are WAITING to try, thought I'd let you know it isnt as easy as some people make out I would know having done it on my own from day 1! I just don't want to see any of you go through what I have had to go through for the last 3 years as it has been one of the hardest things I have ever done. As much as I love my son and can't imagine life without him now, if I could have done things differently I would have done. I just wish I had been older and ahd more qualifications under my belt when I had had him.

 

[Strawberries]

Yeah I understand what you mean, and it was a considerate thing to post but the whole point of this thread is to speak about how we are not going to put ourselves through that. If it was a 'young TTCs Club' then I would understand. It just felt a bit patronising to me, sorry maybe that's just me though, I am very hormonal today!

 

[thompsonic]

Kinda (ok really) OT but does anyone else get an inflatey tummy? As in I wake up in the morning and it is moderately flat, not flat flat but goes straight down, but by bed time I have a definite 'bump'? I mean, without exagguration (sp?) I look 8 weeks pregnant. Then I go to bed and the next morning it is normal. I am going to take pics one day for comparison cos it's really strange. Anyone know why this happens?

 

[Eightiesbirdx]

I cant believe how well this topics doing we're on the 4th page already i never really realised how many young Wtters there we're out here Bless us all

Omg, why do ex's have to be a pain in the ass lol!!!

 

[Eightiesbirdx]

I cant believe how well this topics doing we're on the 4th page already i never really realised how many young Wtters there we're out here Bless us all

Omg, why do ex's have to be a pain in the ass lol!!!

 

[mandaa1220]

Kinda (ok really) OT but does anyone else get an inflatey tummy? As in I wake up in the morning and it is moderately flat, not flat flat but goes straight down, but by bed time I have a definite 'bump'? I mean, without exagguration (sp?) I look 8 weeks pregnant. Then I go to bed and the next morning it is normal. I am going to take pics one day for comparison cos it's really strange. Anyone know why this happens?

could be some sort of bloating

 

[MrsGaSp]

Hey i'm 17. Getting my GED and starting college in the spring if everything goes according to plan. Then be done with everything in like 2 1/2 years. So hopefully after that me and my OH will be ready and prepared but most likely going to be in like 3-4 years. Seems like forever for something I've always wanted especially when i was younger.

I'm not the typical teenager either. My life is just me and my OH then my family. I really don't have any friends and don't go out partying. And i lost it to my OH when we both felt ready for it.