Things I cannot say out loud....

[emyandpotato]

Yup, I hear you. Selfish men. They wouldn't last an hour in our shoes. I have cracked and done a chore chart. If he wants to behave like a child, I'll treat him like one. Rewards include food and xbox time.
I don't mind doing the bulk of housework as I am on mat leave, but not it all!
Do you feel desperate? Like you need to make him understand, but don't know how? I told him I was thinking of divorcing him. Scared him a bit. It's true tho! xx

That's the best idea ever. I've just told OH I'm doing the same and he's not speaking to me

 

[Lettuce]

Emy, I'd call that childish too- he def needs a chore chart. Tell him if he's going to be silly about it, he won't get food/xbox rewards, he can have stickers!

 

[Lauki]

it sucks when families are far apart. I spent the last 3 christmases with OH's family, miss my family this year we're compromising and not spending it with anyone!

It sucks, doesn't it!! This'll be the fourth year in a row that I'll be spending Christmas in the UK with hubbies family. I really hope next year we'll be going to see my family.

I suppose it doesn't help that I HATE roast dinners and that seems to be the only thing I get here for Christmas .

 

[BabyBoo36]

Yup, I hear you. Selfish men. They wouldn't last an hour in our shoes. I have cracked and done a chore chart. If he wants to behave like a child, I'll treat him like one. Rewards include food and xbox time.
I don't mind doing the bulk of housework as I am on mat leave, but not it all!
Do you feel desperate? Like you need to make him understand, but don't know how? I told him I was thinking of divorcing him. Scared him a bit. It's true tho! xx

Have told him this. Have threatened to go to my Mum's for a few days. Have even told him I'm not having anymore children - nothing works for longer than a few days. His parents would be horrified if they knew, and I've told him that to.He obviously realises I'm upset as this morning he's told me he'll feed her tonight, do the dreamfeed and tomorrow am's feed, but it won't last, and that's the problem. I even had to walk half way down the street in my pj's at midnight last night to get the pram out the car because he'd "forgotten" and couldn't (more like wouldn't) wake up when I told him I needed it today. He knows it's destroying our relationship but doesn't seem able to change it.

 

[Natsku]

it sucks when families are far apart. I spent the last 3 christmases with OH's family, miss my family this year we're compromising and not spending it with anyone!

It sucks, doesn't it!! This'll be the fourth year in a row that I'll be spending Christmas in the UK with hubbies family. I really hope next year we'll be going to see my family.

I suppose it doesn't help that I HATE roast dinners and that seems to be the only thing I get here for Christmas .

How can you hate roast dinners??!!

OH's family does the food all wrong too though, they use ham while my mum uses gammon, and they don't serve all the ice cream you can eat for dessert

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Could someone brilliant please invent a teleporter so I can have my baby's first Christmas with my family AND my in-laws?
I feel really down right now.
Two years ago we got married in Canada at Christmas and had both our families there. Last year, we had Christmas here with DH's family. This year... we're having Christmas here with DH's family and planning a trip north in the summer.
I want to be home with my parents and my siblings and my grandparents and my cousins.
I want my dad to play with my daughter (they haven't met yet ).
I want to bundle my daughter up and show her snow.
I miss my mom. I miss my dad. I miss my family. I just want to go home.
And I CAN'T - I have to get a new passport, I have to get a passport for my daughter, and I don't think we could swing a trip for all of us financially yet and I don't want to have Christmas without my DH, either.
And I'm just... sad.

I could have wrote this

 

[lindseymw]

To my BIL & GF, if you say one more time how I don't know what it likes to have a newborn, I'm going to hit you. I've got two children, they were newborns at one point! BIL, remember when you said to your Brother (my DH) "Dunno why you're so tired, you've only had a baby, it can't be that bad" Eating your words now?

(I offered to look after their LO for a couple of hours so they could get some sleep/rest but "I don't know what it's like to have a newborn")

 

[Lettuce]

To my BIL & GF, if you say one more time how I don't know what it likes to have a newborn, I'm going to hit you. I've got two children, they were newborns at one point! BIL, remember when you said to your Brother (my DH) "Dunno why you're so tired, you've only had a baby, it can't be that bad" Eating your words now?

(I offered to look after their LO for a couple of hours so they could get some sleep/rest but "I don't know what it's like to have a newborn")

It's a wonder your children survived this long eh? idiots.

 

[Lettuce]

Babyboo, that is terrible. i would probably go to my parents. I'm so sorry, I know what you mean about it only lasting a few days. xxx

 

[Lauki]

it sucks when families are far apart. I spent the last 3 christmases with OH's family, miss my family this year we're compromising and not spending it with anyone!

It sucks, doesn't it!! This'll be the fourth year in a row that I'll be spending Christmas in the UK with hubbies family. I really hope next year we'll be going to see my family.

I suppose it doesn't help that I HATE roast dinners and that seems to be the only thing I get here for Christmas .

How can you hate roast dinners??!!

OH's family does the food all wrong too though, they use ham while my mum uses gammon, and they don't serve all the ice cream you can eat for dessert

I always get meat that's tough, not nice and juicy, the vegetables are cooked for 5905820502589051 hours and completely disgusting and then they cover absolutely everything in 6 pints of gravy!

Ugh!!

I've really moved to the wrong country .

I suppose all the ice cream you can eat for pudding would make up for it all though!!

 

[Natsku]

it sucks when families are far apart. I spent the last 3 christmases with OH's family, miss my family this year we're compromising and not spending it with anyone!

It sucks, doesn't it!! This'll be the fourth year in a row that I'll be spending Christmas in the UK with hubbies family. I really hope next year we'll be going to see my family.

I suppose it doesn't help that I HATE roast dinners and that seems to be the only thing I get here for Christmas .

How can you hate roast dinners??!!

OH's family does the food all wrong too though, they use ham while my mum uses gammon, and they don't serve all the ice cream you can eat for dessert

I always get meat that's tough, not nice and juicy, the vegetables are cooked for 5905820502589051 hours and completely disgusting and then they cover absolutely everything in 6 pints of gravy!

Ugh!!

I've really moved to the wrong country .

I suppose all the ice cream you can eat for pudding would make up for it all though!!

Ah well if its a bad roast dinner then thats understandable. You should try one of my mum's roasts!

Now I want ice cream, shall have to buy some today!

 

[ablacketer]

Yup, I hear you. Selfish men. They wouldn't last an hour in our shoes. I have cracked and done a chore chart. If he wants to behave like a child, I'll treat him like one. Rewards include food and xbox time.
I don't mind doing the bulk of housework as I am on mat leave, but not it all!
Do you feel desperate? Like you need to make him understand, but don't know how? I told him I was thinking of divorcing him. Scared him a bit. It's true tho! xx

Have told him this. Have threatened to go to my Mum's for a few days. Have even told him I'm not having anymore children - nothing works for longer than a few days. His parents would be horrified if they knew, and I've told him that to.He obviously realises I'm upset as this morning he's told me he'll feed her tonight, do the dreamfeed and tomorrow am's feed, but it won't last, and that's the problem. I even had to walk half way down the street in my pj's at midnight last night to get the pram out the car because he'd "forgotten" and couldn't (more like wouldn't) wake up when I told him I needed it today. He knows it's destroying our relationship but doesn't seem able to change it.

you two ladies brought tears to my eyes.... I thought I was alone.

Ive taken off my wedding rings

 

[Lauki]

it sucks when families are far apart. I spent the last 3 christmases with OH's family, miss my family this year we're compromising and not spending it with anyone!

It sucks, doesn't it!! This'll be the fourth year in a row that I'll be spending Christmas in the UK with hubbies family. I really hope next year we'll be going to see my family.

I suppose it doesn't help that I HATE roast dinners and that seems to be the only thing I get here for Christmas .

How can you hate roast dinners??!!

OH's family does the food all wrong too though, they use ham while my mum uses gammon, and they don't serve all the ice cream you can eat for dessert

I always get meat that's tough, not nice and juicy, the vegetables are cooked for 5905820502589051 hours and completely disgusting and then they cover absolutely everything in 6 pints of gravy!

Ugh!!

I've really moved to the wrong country .

I suppose all the ice cream you can eat for pudding would make up for it all though!!

Ah well if its a bad roast dinner then thats understandable. You should try one of my mum's roasts!

Now I want ice cream, shall have to buy some today!

Ugh now I fancy icecream too. But we're having dinner at Nan in law. So we'll have homemade trifle!! I'm sure it'll do .

We always have roast dinners in a pub for X-mas as the family is so big, so yea that's probably why they're rubbish. I've never had a good homemade roast .

 

[BabyBoo36]

Babyboo, that is terrible. i would probably go to my parents. I'm so sorry, I know what you mean about it only lasting a few days. xxx

I'm just so worn down by it. I can't keep having the same argument with him when nothing changes. I don't even ask him for help anymore - what's the point? I am so, so worried about how I'm going to cope when I go back to work. I have a 30 minute drive into work, I'll have to get her and me up, get her to nursery (thank god she's at the on-site nursery where I work), work a full day, come home and sort out her tea and bath/bed. He's so bloody lazy he hasn't even saved for a car like he promised, which means he'll be getting the bus home and won't get in until 8pm - by which time she'll be in bed.

He doesn't even listen to me - I told him 3 times last night we were going to Tiddly Om Poms this am - he's still rung and left a message on the answer machine asking where I am - I FECKING TOLD YOU LAST NIGHT!!!!! I never, ever thought it'd be like this, and it hurts that he doesn't even care enough about either of us to change..........

 

[cerrie311]

Ladies, I have come to learn give 'em sex, you will get them to do a lot more around the house or with LO. It works for me lol. Even if you are too tired, just go with it. All joking aside guys are pretty easy to please and if you please them if they are a decent man they will please you, Happy man=happy wife=HAPPY LIFE

 

[BabyBoo36]

Ladies, I have come to learn give 'em sex, you will get them to do a lot more around the house or with LO. It works for me lol. Even if you are too tired, just go with it. All joking aside guys are pretty easy to please and if you please them if they are a decent man they will please you, Happy man=happy wife=HAPPY LIFE

Sorry but no. Why should I "please him" when he doesn't care enough about me to do one lousy feed on a weekend? And it doesn't work anyway - I've already tried it and it just left me feeling worse.

 

[cerrie311]

Ok, well if you please him and doesn't please you in return. You need to have a serious talk with him, ask him what he wants, tell him EXACTLY what you want. Men sometimes need detailed instructions and don't have ESP. But it has to be a 2 way street. Effort has to come on both ends.

 

[BabyBoo36]

Ok, well if you please him and doesn't please you in return. You need to have a serious talk with him, ask him what he wants, tell him EXACTLY what you want. Men sometimes need detailed instructions and don't have ESP. But it has to be a 2 way street. Effort has to come on both ends.

Done all that cerrie311 - we've had several "serious talks" over his seeming inability to do anything with his daughter.....nothing changes. So for me now, its put up and shut up and hope he gets better once she's a toddler.

 

[cerrie311]

Ok, well if you please him and doesn't please you in return. You need to have a serious talk with him, ask him what he wants, tell him EXACTLY what you want. Men sometimes need detailed instructions and don't have ESP. But it has to be a 2 way street. Effort has to come on both ends.

Done all that cerrie311 - we've had several "serious talks" over his seeming inability to do anything with his daughter.....nothing changes. So for me now, its put up and shut up and hope he gets better once she's a toddler.

Sorry You should not have to live like that. Hope he gets a clue.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

I'm sorry, I agree with babyboo. I'm not going to have sex with my husband just to get him to help out.