Things I cannot say out loud....

[Ozzieshunni]

Wowwie! DH won't buy anything without at least asking what I think first and he'll take into consideration what I say

 

[MizzDeeDee]

Ok, so men. They are fab right?

Oh wanted to make up for being a lazy ass this last week (house is still a disaster, cleaning today YAY), so yesterday he went out and bought a new TV...now explain to me how this new TV benefits me and makes up for him beling lazy?

Yeah, that's for you.

He might as well have bought a bowling ball or golf bag.

 

[keeks1987]

Ok, so men. They are fab right?

Oh wanted to make up for being a lazy ass this last week (house is still a disaster, cleaning today YAY), so yesterday he went out and bought a new TV...now explain to me how this new TV benefits me and makes up for him beling lazy?

Yeah, that's for you.

He might as well have bought a bowling ball or golf bag.

HA HA HA HA


Mike: You can't be upset when Ethan won't settle for you. You work full time and he knows me more than you. HOWEVER, on the days you are off work and when you finish early (Sundays) why don't you put him to bed? Or go to him when he cries? Ethan settles for me because I go whenever he cries. He knows i'll make things better for him. If you want him to settle for you, you have to put in the effort.

You're normally so brilliant, why are you being an idiot?

 

[BrokenfoREVer]

.... stop...effing....touching...my...body!! No you are not 'touching baby' you are touching me. I don't really know you & I don't want your hands all over me. Shall I start rubbing your face when I see you? No? Why? Oh cos its inappropriate...YOU THINK!!

 

[MizzDeeDee]

^^Never had anyone do that to me.. I must look meaner then you..


When you gonna have that baby?

 

[BrokenfoREVer]

You must look scary while heavily pregnant

I'm trying I'm trying!! He's comfy

 

[MizzDeeDee]

I've been told I look like bitch actually...


You better let us know when he makes an entrance!

 

[BrokenfoREVer]

Oh charming! Just what you wanna hear. I must have a kind face or something. Or a great big sign saying 'Please...come feel my tummy, I don't mind at all(!)'

Do not worry, I'll be shouting from the rooftops when I go into labour

 

[Lettuce]

I said to someone once - stop rubbing my belly, I'm not a fucking buddha, it will not bring you good luck, just a smack in the face. Oppps. I blame being 2 weeks overdue.

 

[BrokenfoREVer]

That is an excellent come back. I'm stealing that.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Only DH ever felt my belly with permission. I had like the one odd person feel, but I kinda stepped away

 

[BabyBoo36]

I said to someone once - stop rubbing my belly, I'm not a fucking buddha, it will not bring you good luck, just a smack in the face. Oppps. I blame being 2 weeks overdue.

I told the Spanish nurse at work that if she poked me one more time, I would poke her in the eye! She didn't rub, just jabbed her pointed finger in my belly before announcing my baby would be "too fat". This was 3 days after our fetal medicine consultant had told us baby would be lucky to get over 5lbs full term. Stupid woman.....

 

[marina294]

well lets start shall we lol family xmas meal out yesterday with the in laws...

First we woke up late then summer decided to do the bigest explosive poo ever before we left so the change of clothes etc means we are running late. OH then neglects to tell me he is going to pick up MIL FIL whilst his brother takes SIl. we get there his brother has already left because he didnt want to wait for MIL to get ready and didnt take SIL with him because he wants to go straight home after ermmm HELLOOOO we only have 2 spare seats in our car because of the carseat how are we suppossed to fit you all in we just drove all the way to get you and now you have to drive too!!!

Get to the hall and OH friend who arranged this big xmas meal goes are you going to put summer in the room during the meal? excuse me she is 3 months old im not leaving her in a room onher own whilst i eat and she wouldnt let me either she would scream the place down!

lets start with FIL..
we get shown to our table with space at the end for me to put LO carseat should she fall asleep and he strides over to sit where im about to go till OH moves him opposite then without asking FIL takes his jacket off and drapes it in the car seat! WTF!?! yes i just lugged her carseat in here for you to use it as f***ing coat stand!!
Then the lady across the table asks for a cuddle with lo and before i answer FIL takes her out my arms and gives her to her how dare you take my child out of my arms!!!

At the meal it is a roast with a tray of roasties and veg round to serve yourself etc. he proceeds to pile up his plate with hardly any left for everyone else-cuts the biggest biggest bit of the cheddar of the cheese board and loads of crackers then uses the majority of the sugar out the bowl for his coffee i have never met somenone so selfish!!

lets move on to SIL..

you took LO out the car seat when she came in as per usual when i calm her down to sleep at the dinner table you then eat a couple of mouthfuls of dinner then offer to hold her whilst i eat mine i politely decline say i have mastered eating one hand and LO is asleep i dont want to disturb her. Why do you keep insisting actually getting up to take her out of my arms whilst i am still saying no till OH steps in to say leave her alone she is comfy.
She finishes dinner and
lo wakes up so i say im going to change her nappy before the next course SIL then jumps up takes her and says ill do it i reluctantly hand her over-nearly 20 minutes pass she still isnt back with her. by this point MIL has disappeared too-they all come back in with summer screaming hysterically saying oh she started to scream so we took her outside to calm her down WTF you bring her back to me to soothe her not walk off with her then bring her back in this state!!!
Then ..(yes there is more for SIL bear in mind she is nearly 30) half way through the carol singing summer is sitting on OH lap and quite content she then asks for LO again and he said no she is pretty happy right now she then went quiet and on the break for the next song says really loudly in a stroppy voice 'are you two ever going to let me hold MY niece' at this point i snapped and said a little to snappy back no she is happy at the moment i do not want her screaming through the rest of the meal!! then to keep the peace gave her to her after the meal and she was jigged around and started crying looked at me with daggers then said 'bloody typical they finally give you to me but only when your grumpy' ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh its not like you dont see her you often see her 2-3 times a week your comments are beginning to piss me off

than to top it off my OH nephew then preceeded to puke on the floor admittedly in between courses he had eaten 2 after dinner mints but he has had a cold and wasnt 100% as though my OH brothers GF wasnt embarrassed enough and tying to clean it up but MIL sits there saying to them in accusatory tones its your fault for giving him chocolate ! for the record you ever speak to me like this expect a mouthful back.

oh and BIL thank you for leaving again without paying for your familes part of the meal this is becoming a bit of a trend with you.

If you read all this you deserve a medal but omg had to let off some steam after all that!!

 

[BabyBoo36]

Marina xx

DH - do not sit there and tell me I can make the photo calendar for your Mum, and then go "Didn't think you'd use that picture......" Feck off and let me do it.

Stupid woman in the toilet - no she isn't crying because she "just needs someone to talk to her". She's crying because you keep talking to her and she clearly doesn't know or like you! Plus she doesn't like the hand dryer.

SIL - stop sending me "ideas" for your OH for Xmas. How much money do you think I have?? Oh, and you are only getting the "Best Auntie" socks for Xmas to shut you up, and make me look good. You are a crap auntie, and that is a fact. In fact, Amazon said they had 1 new pair and 1 used pair - I really hope they send me the used pair.......

Amazon - seriously? Who sells "used socks" on Amazon???

 

[Shell N Bump]

I LOVE this thread so much!

Here's my couple while they are fresh in my head

To my sister - Stop texting me all the time asking me to send you a recent picture of my LO, you live 4/5 miles away and youve seen her once, if you made the effort then you wouldnt need ANOTHER picture!!!

To my friend - No I wont stop BF'ing her and put her on a bottle just so I can come out with you all on your girly night, I do not need "time off" from her, I choose to BF and will stop when we are both ready, not just so I can go out!

To my mother - You havent seen my 2 boys for almost 2 years for no reason, so why are you asking if you can come and meet my daughter? If I hadnt of had her would you be asking to come over still to see your grandsons??

To everyone who asks - "Is she feeding again??" Yes she is, she's BF on demand, just like I told you last time you asked /

 

[Emmy1987]

'dear' auntie...

Oh gosh HOW do you cope!!!! You're without a kitchen for a couple of days while your new one is fitted, must be soooooo hard!

And if you moan money is tight to me again I will lose it. Since October you have spent £3500 on a new bed, gone to Corfu, and ordered a brand new kitchen... Yeah must be tough!

And will you please realise the world does not revolve around YOU! When you were suicidal we all rallied around and supported you, I at the age of 17 ran the house, the second time in my life, while you had nurses round every day.

What happened when I was suicidal? Oh yeah. You kicked me out. For being 'too depressed'. While I had a cancer scare.

So yeah, let's concentrate on you! Not on my daughters first Christmas, you.

 

[Fergie]

OH, this is Boo's christening. SS is going to kick up a stink when he realises the day isn't about him and no he is not getting to piss about in a church full of people .. if you don't tell him off then i will. You know how bad he is, his behaviour in Tescos the other day will go down in history .. im surprised they didn't ban us, and yet you pick the sunday to have the baptism, of the weekend he's with us. WHY ?? Do you like making me feel miserable and like a total bitch for having to parent your son and teach him good behaviour & some manners. And you chose the godfather and i haven't said a word about your choice so please stop bitching about my choice of godmother. Granted she isnt your cup of tea but she's family and a good friend so just sod off !.
And Finally .. see that big basket that sits in the corner of the bathroom ??, well thats called the laundry basket and thats where your dirty clothes go, not on the bedroom floor or worse still, left to stink out under the bed. I've picked them up today, yesterday and the entire time we moved here, but not anymore. If you don't put your clothes in it one of these days you're gonna find that they've magically walked to the bin on their own .. and i mean the rubbish bin.
.. now that feels so much better

 

[BabyBoo36]

If you don't put your clothes in it one of these days you're gonna find that they've magically walked to the bin on their own .. and i mean the rubbish bin.
.. now that feels so much better

I once told my ex any clothes NOT in the laundry bin, wouldn't be washed. He didn't believe me. 2 weeks later when he's run out of underpants he said "Have you done any washing?" "Yes dear." "Then where's all my stuff?" "I don't know. Was it in the washing basket?" He found all his stuff in the bottom of his wardrobe where I'd stuffed everything that was on the floor. He never did it again! Granted the house looked like a chinese laundry for a few days, but it was soooo worth it! x

 

[Fergie]

If you don't put your clothes in it one of these days you're gonna find that they've magically walked to the bin on their own .. and i mean the rubbish bin.
.. now that feels so much better

I once told my ex any clothes NOT in the laundry bin, wouldn't be washed. He didn't believe me. 2 weeks later when he's run out of underpants he said "Have you done any washing?" "Yes dear." "Then where's all my stuff?" "I don't know. Was it in the washing basket?" He found all his stuff in the bottom of his wardrobe where I'd stuffed everything that was on the floor. He never did it again! Granted the house looked like a chinese laundry for a few days, but it was soooo worth it! x

HA !!!! I'm so gonna do that

 

[Bartness]

OH~

Do to the fact you have decided you need my share of the house payment this month, we will not be able to buy milk or any other much needed grocries. I will be returning all of Jaxon's christmas presents to the store this afternoon so he will have milk for the next few weeks. Thanks for being greedy and insisting you need it for your beer and cigarettes. Thank you so much, for runining Jaxon's Christmas, and mine too. Yout wlil be the only one getting a present this year, and this is b/c that concert ticket is non-refundable. And yes i am stressed and worrying about paying bills.

MOm, thanks for paying for Jaxon's birthday party. I appreciate it.