Things I cannot say out loud....

[luci and bump]

FIL- HOW FUCKING DARE YOU call my 4 month old daughter a "gaylord" for crying?!?! She's had a weekend of meeting new people, and she just wanted to be with her mummy. Now I really don't want her coming here! Maybe if you'd seen her more than 3 times since she was born, you'd know she is more grizzly in the evenings.
And as for sitting and pausing the fricking tv every time she made a sound, you are ridiculous! And then to make out I'm being a drama queen by taking her upstairs! You hardly see her, yet your tv is more important. I actually felt uncomfortable that she was crying! Now I remember why I don't come and see you!

OH- I know you weren't keen, but I bought a new pram on eBay. I wanted one that faces both ways, and considering it's mainly me who takes her out in the pram, I made the decision. We've been offered 70 for our pram, so our new one cost 17. Tough tits if you don't like it!

FIL AGAIN- referring to evies stay with you as , boot camp" does not fill me with confidence. If I had my way, she wouldn't be staying with you, but its mpre than my relationship is worth if I put my foot down! We have told you how we parent, and how we want you to parent OUR child.
She is a baby, if she cries, she wants/needs something, she is not being a "gaylord".

I wish I wasn't going on holiday my oh can't wait to go, but I don't want to leave my baby OH is sound asleep, and I'm awake downstairs having a cry over leaving her 6 days is far too long and I'm worried I'll come home and she won't want my boobies anymore I didn't realise how much I love bf until now! Please can we stay here

 

[Emmy1987]

I'm sick to death of us working our arses off for nothing. After bills we break even at the end of the month. Next April we'll get no help with childcare which means we will be losing money every month. Why does a person I know get to play the benefits system and cheat it so much that they are rolling in money. HOW is that fair? They are both able to work but don't.

OH- we have to face facts, things have to change and that might mean you selling your car and using the bus. Not ideal but we can't afford it!

 

[BrokenfoREVer]

Well today I have

Walked into town & had a good long look round the shop I wanted to go to. Then walked home.
Been calm with Josh all day.
Cuddled & napped with him this afternoon, for the first time in ages (he's a very hot baby, it's hard to co-sleep cos he gets so warm)
No dwelled on thursday, even when having to talk about it with people.
Tried to spend the day laughing with Josh
Got the wonderful news my OH might have a job interview lined up

And I feel positive. So I'm keeping this up as long as possible

 

[tanya]

Great broken! Stay positive.

I got upset with Flynn who was being naughty emptying the shoe cupboard and pissing about with the washing, throwing toys all over and then he bit me hard. I smacked his bum, not hard and he had nappy and clothes on I don't think he even noticed, we smack his bum all the time when we are playing but I swore I would never hit my child as discipline then I did. I cried for ages but he wasn't bothered and went back to what he was doing.
It wasn't a conscious "if you don't stop that I'll hit you" thing it was more of a reflex, he bit down hard on my arm and the other hand patted his bum.
I feel awful.
I feel like calling social services on myself.

 

[BrokenfoREVer]

That is just reflex Tanya. Please don't beat yourself up over it. It's not like you went with pre planning to him & hit him.

I understand totally how angry you can get over tiny little things. Josh has just started smacking if he doesn't get his own way & its so hard to explain time & time that he mustn't.

 

[Emmy1987]

Don't feel guilty, I've done it before, it's just a reaction, I've tapped Doo's hand before... lightly but still

 

[Natsku]

Yeah I've done the same, tapped Maria's hand as a reflex reaction. Don't feel bad about it.
Maria bit me today too, really hard on my belly - its left a bitemark! Actually having trouble with Maria's violence lately. She has started smacking me and sometimes biting me but she doesn't seem to do it out of anger (although occasionally does do it when angry), she seems to think its a game? Hmm methinks I might ask the toddler forum if this is common

 

[tanya]

I think it is nats, I asked the hv about it because he's been really bad for biting lately, daren't cuddle him somedays. He only bites me tho, no one else (except mils cat when he cornered her, she took it like a trooper tho lol)
Hv says he's doing it as a sign of affection.
I'm having a bit of a down day today, I'm feeling really guilty about Christmas, I love everything Christmas and want to make it perfect for Flynn but everyone else is dreading it being the first without fil, any mention of Christmas and everyone bursts into tears. It's hard I know but fil was determined that this Christmas would be amazing, last year we all got food poisioning from Santa and Christmas Day was ruined fil was just like me in that If there was a space without tinsel it'd better have fairy lights lol
He wouldn't want us say in a pub miserable (apparently were going to a pub for Xmas lunch too)
I'm getting really upset about it coz I want Christmas to be nice I don't want his second Christmas to be spoilt like his first and I don't think fil would want that either.

 

[Natsku]

don't feel guilty about christmas, your fil would have wanted it to be really good.

Maria has just started hitting Timo too and also started hugging him more so maybe its a sign of affection from her too.

 

[Fergie]

@Broken

Goodluck for tomorrow. I hope everything goes okay for you xx

 

[BrokenfoREVer]

Scan this morning. I feel sick. Been up most of the night with nightmares. Which sounds ridiculous for a grown woman. But hey.

Please keep me & my OH in your thoughts ladies. We need some good news

 

[Lettuce]

Thinking of you broken... Xx

 

[x Michelle x]

Hope it all goes well broken x

 

[BrokenfoREVer]

Complete miscarriage.

I can't even speak. Thanks for the support ladies. I'm going to go pick Josh up & hold him tight.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Broken. You WILL have another LO Chin up

 

[Natsku]

I'm so sorry Broken

 

[tanya]

I'm so sorry broken. Nothing I can say will make you feel better so just know you are in my thoughts. Xx

 

[Fergie]

HUGE Broken. I'm so sorry. I know nothing can help ease your pain, but you are in my thoughts XX

 

[Lettuce]

I'm so sorry broken, I'm thinking of you. Xxx

 

[CazM 2011]

I'm so sorry broken, thinking of you and your OH xxxx