Things I cannot say out loud....

[Fergie]

Oh starlit. I'm so so sorry huni. I know it's not much but you are in my thoughts and sending you lots of hugs .

 

[StarlitHome]

Thanks Fergie. Thanks everyone.

Right now I'm just hurting. And looking into going to see my mom because I really feel like I need her right now. I need to not be the mommy, I need a mommy.

TM's mom has been so lovely, she brought us breakfast this morning and is currently playing with Molly. But she goes back to work next week and won't have time.

 

[BrokenfoREVer]

If you need to talk you know where I am Starlit. I'm so very sorry. Fly high little one.

 

[BrokenfoREVer]

Also OH... How could you forget our due date! How could you!! I'm gutted!

Nice to know you've moved on so completely you don't even remember anymore. Oh & just a hint for next year... I'm a mother to 2 children! Just because one of then isn't here doesn't make her any less real!

And stop saying we'll have another one! That won't replace the one we lost & you know it.

How can you be so blasé about this! I can only guess this is mummy talking, since she moved on pretty damn quick too.

Next time I'm telling no one til after the first scan, not even your besties! No one! I'm going thru telling everyone we lost the baby again!

Funny, I asked you to do that this time & you ignored me totally.

 

[Bartness]

Im so sorry to hear the news Starlit.

OH is sick and I am sick, Jaxon is not sick, we have three dogs this week (2 of which are annoying as can be, and shed like its no ones business and Im allergic to them...wonderful huh?), and I cant rest or sleep I've hardly slept all week, b/c OH is sick. And since he's sick it doesnt matter that I am sick also. URGH Im tired and would just like to take some nyquil and go to bed. But that wont happen.

 

[Lauki]

Weather - Kindly fuck off, it is about time winter was over... It is making me depressed which is very unfair on Sophie!

 

[tanya]

Urgh! Snow! We were supposed to be going to Manchester today but wouldn't have got over the Pennines without skidding into a tree so ended up at a shopping Center instead, this did have good points, it was warm and dry, I got new glasses as Flynn had snapped the arm off mine and destroyed them (I've been squinting for days) bad parts were that we had already made a packed lunch up do had to sit on a bench in a busy shopping Center and eat sandwiches we ended up buying Flynn three new pairs of shoes that he didn't need and about 100 new crayons :-/
He also got a bit bored and drank so much juice that I changed his nappy then an hour later had to change his whole outfit coz he had peed that much he was soaked through!
Also on the journey home mil asked if he could have a bit of kitkat, I said yeah but wasn't paying much attention as they were in the back and I was settling down for a little snooze, next thing I know mil says "he's got a bit of chocolate on him" I turned round and OMG! He was covered in it, all over him and his clothes all over his brand new very expensive pale grey carseat, all over the car door and his blanket. It was on his eyelids!
I thought she was giving him a little piece of kitkat but she actually just gave him a whole two finger kitkat and left him to it! I was napping, dh was driving and neither of us noticed.
Then we get home for tea and dh produces a bottle of flavoured water and fills flynns cup up, Flynn didn't seem to like it but had a bit, then proceeds to puke all over himself, it was fizzy water. FFS!
I've come to the conclusion that I can't trust anyone to look after Flynn even family!
I'm quite down at the mo and not quite as on the ball as I could be so little things like large quantities of chocolate and fizzy pop at 20 months old have slipped past until it was too late.

 

[Fergie]

D-Day is 7th April .

Come on Jnr

 

[luci and bump]

OH- as soon as I can afford to move out, I am leaving your ass! I am sick to death of how you treat me. I'm a 25 year old woman, not a little girl! And yes I appreciated you moving our bedroom round, and putting LO into her own room, but it would have been nice to have been asked about it! I didn't even get time to prepare for it

 

[BrokenfoREVer]

I'm so angry I'm shaking!

Took Josh to my grandparents today & he was pitching a fit over something & chucking his water bottle around. Both me & my mum told him to stop it, he did it again & my nan hit him on the backside!!

I'm fuming, I yelled at her not to hit him & my mom told her quickly, not to hit him, that I don't want him hit.

She then went on to tap his hand going "well *tap* don't *tap* throw *tap* things *tap*" in the manner of telling him off.

How DARE she raise a hand to my child! How DARE she think she can disipline him! It wans't mentioned afterwards, by anyone. Infact it was treated as normal. THat might have been my moms way but its not mine.

And... he's 15 fucking months old!! Far too young for smacking, even if thats what I wanted to do!!

Literally I'm shaking with anger

 

[Dragonfly]

Thanks very much dad for tearing apart my first photo shot I done myself in my house. I was really pleased with them pics for all of half an hour and 5 mins in to uploading you are picking them apart over poses and lighting. This is not helpful at all , never was, and I didnt expect it off you I did off mum however. Maybe you could manage some nice words of encouragement in future, I know its dam well hard for either of you to praise me but seriously I rather you stfu in future. Now I am going to bed suitably torn apart over your shit comments.

 

[Fergie]

I seriously could scream.

It took me 2hrs to vaccuum the house today (i've got spd and on crutches) for my SS wee family birthday party. On top of that i washed the floors and the outside of the cupboards as my OH kicked over the bucket with dirty water that i'd just cleaned the floors with. My MIL comes in and decided she wants to take the kids up the farm to see the newborn calves, which is fine. She comes back with the kids, lets them wander all over my clean carpets with muddy wellies (which she thought was funny) and then she takes the dog out. I decided to go and pack Boos bag for going to stay at my sisters and when i come through she'd let the dog run riot all over the kitchen, living room, my bloody sofa and finally my CLEAN and folded bedding for Jnr. I swear the steam was coming out of my ears.
It was so bad i walked out.
I can't believe she allowed it. She was supposed to be in control for all of 10 bloody minutes while OH and me were sorting out all the baby things. OH was raging although i have to say it still didn't penetrate to her why we were so angry. I can't do much just now, it's too bloody painful and she comes in and trashes my clean house in 20 mins flat . I could cry.

 

[Lettuce]

oh god, I just would scream. bloody hell, stupid woman!
On another note, I can't believe you're nearly there!

 

[Fergie]

I'm going into hospital a week today for an induction . I'm feeling a bit nervous but we'll be happier when jnr is out. On the plus side though my blood sugars have all stayed at 4 - 5 for that past few days, so jnr is definitely getting ready to make an appearance and i managed to scoff a wee bit of chocolate today . It feels so weird that it's only going to be 7/8 days until we get to hold our wee boy . It can't come quick enough.

 

[Lettuce]

I'm so excited for you. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts. enjoy your last week of pregnancy, watch that belly move... xx

 

[Fergie]

Thank you

 

[Natsku]

Oh wow so soon! Excitement!!

 

[BrokenfoREVer]

Oh my god I'd be so angry Fergie!!
But, excitement for next week!! Can't wait to see some pics! Thinking of you

 

[StarlitHome]

Wow SIL, thanks for commenting in ALL FUCKING CAPS on a photo of my mom's side of the family sitting down for Easter dinner.
You met my aunt, grandma, grandpa, uncle, and cousins ONCE.
You spent 5 days with my parents and siblings.
4 years ago.
Since then you've seen my mom once. And one of my sisters once.

It fucking TICKS ME OFF when you do shit like this because you know what? If you actually missed me (and your niece and your brother) while you are away at school, you'd make time to see us when you're home.
But you don't.

So don't pretend to be my "actual sister" and like you know my family members and be all gushy mushy about it.

Just.
Stop.

 

[Natsku]

Found my new home! Moving at the end of the month