Things I cannot say out loud....

[BrokenfoREVer]

I hope you clocked out & are on your way home Luci.

I hate hate hate managers that think 1 person will just pick up everyone else's slack

 

[tanya]

My mum died. I just found out that she died on Friday, apparently she had pancreatic cancer.
We hadn't really spoken in years and she had never met Flynn or showed interest in meeting him but I would have thought she might tell me she was dying. Then it took them till now to tell my sister who called me.
I don't know how to feel, it seems wrong to just be say here discussing cleaning supplies for mils new house but it feels like it'd be wrong to be weeping and wailing for her even though she was my mother but hadn't acted like it in a long time.
I don't know what to do.

 

[Natsku]

I don't think any way of reacting is wrong really

 

[BrokenfoREVer]

There is no right or wrong way to deal with this. It must be such a shock to be only find today.

Big be kind to yourself

 

[tanya]

I think I need a very large stiff drink.
I don't even think I can go to the funeral, it'll probably be in Luton where she was living for 1/2 the year, but its 4 1/2 hours drive away too far to get there and back in a day, too far to take Flynn and I don't want to leave him overnight.
Also my older brother will more than likely be there and I can't face seeing him I company let dh near him as he's already threatened to kill him and I am frightened of all the bad memories that would be raked up from seeing him again.
My head is spinning

 

[tanya]

I think it might be time to add some of my family on Facebook. I don't want to lose anymore of them without finding out.

 

[Lettuce]

Tanya, what a shock. I'm sorry. Even if you didn't have much of a relationship, she was still your mother so I guess there's some sort of feelings of loss. Whether for the old times or the hope she might have deserved you and your sons attention some day. be kind to yourself, and maybe delay on adding people. There's obv a reason you didn't have them on fb in the first place so sleep on it.

Luci, I hope you went home! X

 

[luci and bump]

Tanya- hope you're feeling ok today!

I clocked out at 6.45. The manager i told I was leaving ignored me from about 5.30, so I had to search out the other manager, which was awkward, because she lived with me until a few weeks ago. Apparently I'm going to be sent to disciplinary now! Not impressed.
Theres a complete shit stirrer on work too. From about 5.45 she kept saying "you have to stay tonight, otherwise everyone is screwed" really not my problem! The manager made the rota, its her fault she was short. So now I'm looking for a new job!!

 

[BrokenfoREVer]

Good for you for sticking to your guns Luci!

 

[Natsku]

Well done Luci!!

 

[luci and bump]

The other issue I have is, I haven't been able to work before 6:30 on a Wednesday, because I nanny until 6. She is aware of this too, but has put me down to start at 5! I don't know what to do. If I don't go in for 5, I'm gonna be in even more trouble, but to get there for 5, I can't pick the little girl I nanny up, as her parents don't get home before I start work! I'm going to ask them if I can do an extra day, like I used to before LO, but I'll still be short of money

 

[tanya]

I don't understand condolence cards? Sil got me one despite me saying I don't like them abd I've had to put it up, I'm sure you're supposed to see them and think "aww that person is thinking of me" etc etc but what it actually does is mean that every time I catch sight of it it screams "HA HA DON'T FORGET YOUR MUMS DEAD!"

 

[Natsku]

I don't understand them either, seems a bit weird to me but I guess its meant with the best of intentions.

 

[BrokenfoREVer]

I don't like them either Tanya. They just don't make sense.

OH, I'm really not sure what made you think leaving in the middle of a row about your fucking mother was a good idea. Or not telling me what time your stupid wwe was finishing. Or what time you'd be home.

8 hrs to go see a 4 hr fucking tv show you can watch online is insanity!

But then, given everything else thats gone on this last week I'm not sure why I'm surprised. Wake the fuck up. Your mother has shafted us over a barrel so hard you should be able to taste it! But noooooo, you're still speaking to her after everything. Worse you're giving her information about MY son!

Grow a fucking pair, she's not god! You've no problems opening your mouth to me about it. Words are meaningless, actions speak

 

[Natsku]

Feeling pretty sad, just heard from my mum that my brother's friend is dying of cancer, has only a few days to live most likely. We used to play together when we were kids

 

[BrokenfoREVer]

Nats

 

[tanya]

nat sorry to hear it, the quicker they find a cure for that nasty disease the better.

 

[tommyg]

Tanya, cards seem lame to me I can't think of how else to describe them but I guess its nice of people to recognize you've just lost your mum. I can only imagine your feelings are all over the place.

Nat, rotten to hear of another young person dying of cancer, hope he hasn't stuffered too long but given enough time to say goodbye. My Bil was just 12 hours from diagnoses so no time to think about it.

Luci hope you find a new job soon.

 

[Fergie]

Hugs to all

Baby Harris arrived Tuesday . I nearly died but i'm still here and more importantly so is my son. Will fill you all in when i'm feeling more with it XX

 

[Natsku]

Oh wow Fergie! Glad you're still here!!!