Things I cannot say out loud....

[BrokenfoREVer]

Never felt so sick in my life!!! Bleh ):

This is clearly another Joshua situation, where I'm late for over a week before I get a that makes me feel slightly better, since that's the only pregnancy I carried to term.

But I still feel sick!

 

[CazM 2011]

So called friends...screw you!! Don't reply to my texts or messages, post how many lovely days out your having together with the kids when I confided in you about how much I struggle and my anxiety can take over, now I've been ditched I was upset now I'm just pissed!! And when you happen to be at the same baby groups you act like you havnt just left us out of everything, no you don't know my daughter so so well as you havnt bothered with us. I'm sorry I'm pregnant again and can't walk miles to whatever shop you wanna buy crap in then whinge about having to pay a whole £1 for a baby group. And yes I am going to socialise with other moms at groups not sit in the corner only talking to you. Writing this down has helped me see how little I actually need friends like this, just a shame my daughter misses out but I will make up for it with groups once baby is born. And I hope to hell one of you doesn't contact me to meet up when the other goes on holiday, if you don't have anyone to meet with its not my fault you have blanked everyone out.

One more as I need to write this down, I will not be left in the same position this time in labour, I will not be forced again to do something I don't want, that wasn't needed, I will not be left alone in a pool of my own waters, unable to see in the dark sobbing in pain, unable to get myself off the bed. I will not be degraded by anyone like this again!! This time I will be fighting for my rights and if they think that is the way to great a pregnant woman and it was normal I will not be giving birth in a hospital. I will not give PND the chance to come back in through something I can change and this birth will be different!! My baby was healthy, I was healthy (physically) this makes people think that everything is fine I have no right to complain, I thought this too but now I realise how much the birth affected me, panicked me!!
I feel underneath this calm exterior like I'm ready to explode, and I hate that constant feeling, no wonder I'm physically so drained.

 

[Emmy1987]

Ouch.

Well, no more.

Also, landlord, please answer your phone, I have no hot water!!

Having such a shit day.

 

[tommyg]

Are you Ok Caz? It's hard when people you thought were friends let you down or miss you out. Hope your birth goes ok. Have you got a home birth arranged?

Emmy are you sorted with hot water?

I just need a winge, DS I know I'm trying to potty train you but please don't ask for the potty 6 times at bed time and 2 hours after you should have been asleep.
SIL I really really can't be arsed coming to your Hen do, with a bunch of people I don't know. And no I really really don't want to share a room with your mother. A bit of choice in that one would have been nice. However DH has paid for me to go and I can't very well say NO! You know what I'm not looking forward to your wedding either. Why have just one single child there, no friends to play with, no where to play - I'm dreading it.
Does that make me a bad person? Certain things with this wedding are embarrising to the core - I never realised your family was quite so thoughless esp when we were blackmailed into inviting all sorts of random people to our wedding but because your Dads footing the bill, it seems to be acceptable to invite people 3 hours away to the evening only, and people to the service and the do but not the meal - how stingy can you get.

 

[CazM 2011]

Have been told i'm not allowed a home birth, big baby history, high BMI and lots of other things they like to tell me will go wrong, i just want to be treated like a person and have a choice in my birth!! Have midwife appointment next monday see what she says but tbh she was so condesending in the meeting i have little hope. Part of me is just so scared of geting PND again, i told my OH for the first time the other day some of the things i thought when emma was a few weeks old and think he was shocked, but life is so busy at the moment havnt had a chance to talk since.

TommyG weddings can bring out the worst in people, i'm dreading planning my own as everyone has an opinion and not wanting lots of people. And potty trainign is a scary thought, emma kept taking her nappy off today and telling me she was having a pee, i'm so not ready and shes so little lol, xx

 

[Fergie]

Have been told i'm not allowed a home birth, big baby history, high BMI and lots of other things they like to tell me will go wrong, i just want to be treated like a person and have a choice in my birth!! Have midwife appointment next monday see what she says but tbh she was so condesending in the meeting i have little hope. Part of me is just so scared of geting PND again, i told my OH for the first time the other day some of the things i thought when emma was a few weeks old and think he was shocked, but life is so busy at the moment havnt had a chance to talk since.

TommyG weddings can bring out the worst in people, i'm dreading planning my own as everyone has an opinion and not wanting lots of people. And potty trainign is a scary thought, emma kept taking her nappy off today and telling me she was having a pee, i'm so not ready and shes so little lol, xx

My friend has had 2 homebirths with both her girls. She has a high BMI and both girls were over 9lb 6oz !. As long as you have the right support there shouldn't be an issue in you having homebirths. They can't refuse you .

Please don't mention potty training in my house. Boo is 2 next month and my MIL is convinced she should be peeing on command now. I've told her she'll start when she is ready, to be told that the onus isn't just on Boo, I need to take her every hour. Fair enough, how does she fancy looking after a grumpy 3 month old in casts !.

 

[Natsku]

to all

I was going to start potty training this summer but Maria refuses to sit on the potty so no point trying now I think I'll just leave it til she tells me she wants to start using it, she seems to know when she's ready for things, she's just lately started refusing to use sippy cups and wants the lid off so she can drink from an open cup.

 

[tommyg]

Caz you got through the birth before and can do it again. My only bit of antenatal advice was "stay at home as long as possible" from a hospital midwife who couldn't remember what they tell you in antenatal classes and my friend was insistant that I allowed my body to relax and do it's job.
I was lucky and had a water birth, but I'd also spent a lot of time in the bath at home. But before I went in the birth pool I mentioned SPD and they were a bit awary of me going in the pool incase I couldn't get back out so imagine that with a big BMI it's the same thing they are wary incase they need to get you out and can't.
I was also warned by the MW that in her experience girls seem to rip worse in the pools but she's not sure is its the skin that's softer or if it's to do with them not being able to help as much.
So I'm not bothered if I get another water birth or not but I'd look forward to holding another baby in my arms, and having those few very presious hours when DS was in the world but nobody knew. He was born at 4am so we waited until 8 to make the calls no presure no stress DH, Me and our wee baby.

You are right everybody has an opion about weddings the same as they do about baby care hence I've not said anything out loud other than trying to talk her into having the Bridesmaid little girl as a flower girl - it would be so much easier if he had somebody to run about with rather than being on his own wanting me to chase him or constantly being told for being "naughty" when really he's bored at an adult only event. I fully intent to take him to the soft play in the middle of the day or the play park depending on the weather.
I also think inviting people from a distance you should invite them to the meal, to expect people to travel 3 hours, for a party, and pay for a hotel room is a bit of a cheek. If I got an invite like that I would consider it as they aren't really wanting me there or they are trying to fill a hall, I probaby wouldn't go but feel obliged to send a gift.

If you LO is wanting the potty then try it. I personally do not fall for the "wait until they are ready" most babies were out of nappies by the age of 2 in the 60s and 70s. With a little encouragement from mum not wanting to wash nappies and babies not being overly comfy with a big towel wrapped round their bum.

Nat I would be tempted to try a seat on the toilet if she won't use the potty. No presure just try taking her when you bum change, or while she's waiting on the bath running. Lots of praise for sitting, my mum even turns the bathroom into a reading room, and we've even had the potty in the living room watching CARs.
That said I did start DS on the potty when he was tiny I got p'd off changing his bum only for him to poo 5mins later, he wouldn't poo in a wet nappy.

 

[Natsku]

I don't think she'll sit on a seat on the toilet either, she's pretty terrified of the whole concept. She's only just started to get interested in me going to the toilet so maybe she'll change her mind soon but maybe it'll be a while.

 

[tommyg]

I would get a loo seat an periodally ask "do you want to try sitting on the toilet?" but I wouldn't force. I can see a logic in training kids straight onto the big toilet rather than a potty, makes it easier when out n about etc, and you don't then have to take the step from potty to toilet but never really though about than when I started out on this mission.

 

[Natsku]

Guess I'll give that a try.

 

[Fergie]

We've got a potty and a wee loo seat for her. She sits on both but won't do anything in them . Tonight was the longest she's managed to sit on it (was watching in the night garden !), but as soon as I took her off to get her ready for bed she pee'd in her nappy !. Can't win at the moment.

 

[tommyg]

You can only try just remember lots of praise for even sitting on it and loads more for a drop in it. I also have the ladybird potty book - Pirate Pete and I'm sure there is a girl version too - keep at it and she will get there.
I read something one day that was going on about newborns will naturally not pee on their clothes. Hence the number of wees mid nappy change and 80% of the worlds babies do not wear nappys mums watch for signs of a wee brewing (elimiation communication or EC) and hold baby away from them. We actually train them to wee/poo in a nappy so we kind of have to untrain them.

 

[Fergie]

Not aimed at you TommyG

I'm getting kind of sick of people telling me off on how I potty train MY CHILD. If only people were as interested in their own kids as they are in mine !.

 

[Fergie]

RAGING !.

Bloody NHS jobsworths. If they think i'm giving up on my complaint they can think again. I'll phone the bloody papers first !.

 

[tommyg]

What's happened?

 

[Fergie]

It's a very long story .

My son has complex bilateral talipes. When he started his treatment we were told it would take 6 weeks of casting and then he'd be in his boots and bars until he was 5. This we have no problem with and he was casted at 3 days old.
However he is now 18 weeks and still in casts, due to his casts slipping and causing quite a few problems with swelling etc. So his consultant told us if it slipped to call A&E and they would remove them (if out of hours) and they would have to be removed the same day. They slipped a month ago so I phoned A&E at our local hospital and was told there was no one there to remove them and they'd get a Dr from our local teaching hospital to call us. 3 hours later they did and told us to wait a week !. I said no and so they agreed to take them off. We arrived at Ninewells and were removed from A&E by a jumped up little shit of a consultant who refused to treat him. He was 13 weeks old and in pain and he refused to treat him.

So I made an official complaint and we were advised it would take 4 weeks to find for or against our complaint. It's now nearly 5 weeks and so I e-mailed them to find out what was happening to be told, they are still waiting on hearing from clinical services !. Considering we've had staff who we don't know talking to us about it and telling us we're in the wrong I don't see how clinical services don't know.

I'm fuming angry, absolutely blazing and my other half is going to blow his lid when he finds out. They have desperately tried to ignore it but I sure as hell won't let them.

Sorry for the rant

 

[tommyg]

I can see why you are angry. How is the baby now?

 

[Fergie]

He's grumpy and tired. He had his tenotomy done a couple of weeks ago and was recasted on Monday. He screamed the entire time they were plastering him and he's not sleeping very great now but at least the end is nearing now . The sooner he goes into his boots and bars the better .

 

[tommyg]

Aww poor wee man.