Things I cannot say out loud....

[sjminimac]

I've got a few more, I love love love this thread, it's amazing how many problems we've all got in common!

To OH: Yes she does love me more, but that doesn't mean she hates you.
Yes shouting at her when she screams does make her stop, because it scares her!! Stop doing it!!

To my mom: Stop calling her your baby. I know you live thousands of miles away and miss her but still, she's mine. When I was pregnant and you would introduce me to people by saying "this is my baby, and (putting her hand on my belly) she's having my other baby" it makes it sound like I'm your surrogate.
No, I can't always talk to you about anything because your advice is ALWAYS "just move back home with me".

To my MIL:
No it is definitely not unhealthy that I never have a night out. I don't need or want a night out. I had my fun years ago before I was married and had my baby, it wasn't all that fun then and it won't be now either. I have time alone with OH every single night when Kili is in bed.
I don't need a break!
It is NOT bad for Kili to see me and OH everyday. I WANT her to be clingy with me and know I will ALWAYS be there for her and I am her mother!
If you want to play with her don't word it as "just give her here you need to have a break" because I do not need a break. If you would just ask to have her because YOU want to spend time with her I would happily let you! (I've even told her that, the response was "I shouldn't have to ask" ... WELL APPARENTLY YOU DO!!

i'm so with you on the night out/needing a break thing. I don't need either, and if/when i do i'll ask!

 

[Sarah&Ady]

.

 

[Kalah]

Oh and the worst one..
If one more strange old lady comes up behind us and grabs LO I might just turn and hit you our of maternal instinct thinking you're trying to take her. It scared the life out of me every time! And what's worse is they don't even acknowledge the fact that I'm there!

 

[Kalah]

I've got a few more, I love love love this thread, it's amazing how many problems we've all got in common!

To OH: Yes she does love me more, but that doesn't mean she hates you.
Yes shouting at her when she screams does make her stop, because it scares her!! Stop doing it!!

To my mom: Stop calling her your baby. I know you live thousands of miles away and miss her but still, she's mine. When I was pregnant and you would introduce me to people by saying "this is my baby, and (putting her hand on my belly) she's having my other baby" it makes it sound like I'm your surrogate.
No, I can't always talk to you about anything because your advice is ALWAYS "just move back home with me".

To my MIL:
No it is definitely not unhealthy that I never have a night out. I don't need or want a night out. I had my fun years ago before I was married and had my baby, it wasn't all that fun then and it won't be now either. I have time alone with OH every single night when Kili is in bed.
I don't need a break!
It is NOT bad for Kili to see me and OH everyday. I WANT her to be clingy with me and know I will ALWAYS be there for her and I am her mother!
If you want to play with her don't word it as "just give her here you need to have a break" because I do not need a break. If you would just ask to have her because YOU want to spend time with her I would happily let you! (I've even told her that, the response was "I shouldn't have to ask" ... WELL APPARENTLY YOU DO!!

i'm so with you on the night out/needing a break thing. I don't need either, and if/when i do i'll ask!

I don't know why people always think moms need so many breaks! I mean yeah it's hard, but we expect it to be hard and just have to get used to it as they grow up because it only gets harder. One of my biggest fears is accepting help then having MIL go behind my back saying that I couldn't cope or couldn't do it myself so I have to pass baby off to her to have a break. My MIL is always, always, always talking about people behind their backs, judging them, saying how horrible they are and how everyone needs her help (like she's some angel) so there is no doubt in my mind she would say things like that about me.

 

[Mizze]

I love this thread - esp the TopGear comment

TO my DH - YES we missed the boat on LO taking a bottle it is NOT my fault - its is BOTH of our faults
Yes it would be nice if you could feed her at night occasionally - see above but you cant
Yes it would be nice if you could take her out for more than a couple of hours and feed her - see above - but you cant
SO STOP TALKING ABOUT IT!

To my SIL
No DH and I are quite happy staying in with LO - we DO NOT need a break - I dont care that you did.

To my MIL
Yes im still pissed you fed my 15 wk old weetabix and cows milk 2 DAYS after I told you I wouldnt be weaning her till nearly 6 months and Yes im pissed that you did it when I wasnt there to stop you
Putting a peppermint in your mouth seconds after you have finished a fag DOESNT get rid of the smell - thats why she doesnt like your face in hers - it SMELLS!
Yes I do change my child the moment we come home from your house because she smells of smoke!
No - she is only having fruit/veg purees (just) till 6 months - how many more times must I tell you
No she doesnt want water -she is bf she doesnt need it
And NOOOOOO - I dont spend all frickin day decided whether to give you more grandchildren - you have 5 - deal already.

To my sister - Yes I love you but just cos you did something doesnt make me the big bad witch if I dont do it too and yes I know that sposies are bad for the environment.

Ah - god this is such good therapy.

 

[Kalah]

I love this thread - esp the TopGear comment

TO my DH - YES we missed the boat on LO taking a bottle it is NOT my fault - its is BOTH of our faults
Yes it would be nice if you could feed her at night occasionally - see above but you cant
Yes it would be nice if you could take her out for more than a couple of hours and feed her - see above - but you cant
SO STOP TALKING ABOUT IT!

To my SIL
No DH and I are quite happy staying in with LO - we DO NOT need a break - I dont care that you did.

To my MIL
Yes im still pissed you fed my 15 wk old weetabix and cows milk 2 DAYS after I told you I wouldnt be weaning her till nearly 6 months and Yes im pissed that you did it when I wasnt there to stop you
Putting a peppermint in your mouth seconds after you have finished a fag DOESNT get rid of the smell - thats why she doesnt like your face in hers - it SMELLS!
Yes I do change my child the moment we come home from your house because she smells of smoke!
No - she is only having fruit/veg purees (just) till 6 months - how many more times must I tell you
No she doesnt want water -she is bf she doesnt need it
And NOOOOOO - I dont spend all frickin day decided whether to give you more grandchildren - you have 5 - deal already.

To my sister - Yes I love you but just cos you did something doesnt make me the big bad witch if I dont do it too and yes I know that sposies are bad for the environment.

Ah - god this is such good therapy.

Isn't it funny how no one actually tells new moms that if you don't start giving bottles at all the first few months, they probably won't ever take one later!

I made a joke a while ago in the breastfeeding thread that the reason they recommend exclusively breastfeeding for the first 6 months is because after that you can't stop!

 

[babyloulou]

I started trying a bottle at 2 weeks though and Ben has never taken one either- so sometimes introducing them early doesn't help!!

 

[Mizze]

Isn't it funny how no one actually tells new moms that if you don't start giving bottles at all the first few months, they probably won't ever take one later!

I made a joke a while ago in the breastfeeding thread that the reason they recommend exclusively breastfeeding for the first 6 months is because after that you can't stop!

You get told not to start too early - but no one says dont start too late and keep it up daily - until you dont and then (yes HV I mean you) they say -"oh yes we see that happen all the time" Well of course you freakin do!!

Mizze x

 

[tay]

to my mil..

I really don't care that you gave daddy baby rice at 9 week, nore does leo... Stop telling him he is hungry and need's baby rice he,s 13 weeks with alot of tummy trouble as it is.

No, you can't "have him to stay" he is breast fed and no he wont "take the bottle for you if he's hungry enough!"

Don't moan that he's asleep when you come in at 7.30pm to see him!

STOP CALLING HIM "MY BABY BOY" i'm pretty sure he came out of my foof not yours!

Stop stocking up on baby foods for 2 reasons, 1 he,s not having ucking baby rice when you want to give it to him. He is under peadeatric care for his tummy, if he needed it, they'd tell me to give it to him, don't then say "i don't blame you" when i say i'm not doing it with his tummy problems, do we REALLY need to have this conversation EVERY time we see you??

You are the only person in the world that thinks MY son is ginger, just because his daddy was does not mean he is!

STOP ASKING ME WHEN HIS FLIPPING EYES ARE GOING TO CHANGE COLOUR!! WHY IS IT "SUCH A SHAME IF THEY GO BLUE LIKE MUMMYS" YES, DADDY HAS LUSH EYES, BUT MINE ARE ALSO NICE!!

To everyone in tesco, if he's asleep, don't flipping touch his feet then say sorry once you wake him up!

Don't ask me when / if i'm going back to work then proceed to tell me "how horrible" it will be for him to "grow up with out a mummy" oh, ok, i'll be a good mummy thats homeless instead shall i cos my mortgage wont pay its bloody self!!

 

[Kalah]

Isn't it funny how no one actually tells new moms that if you don't start giving bottles at all the first few months, they probably won't ever take one later!

I made a joke a while ago in the breastfeeding thread that the reason they recommend exclusively breastfeeding for the first 6 months is because after that you can't stop!

You get told not to start too early - but no one says dont start too late and keep it up daily - until you dont and then (yes HV I mean you) they say -"oh yes we see that happen all the time" Well of course you freakin do!!

Mizze x

I swear I think they keep it a secret until it's too late! I mean I know they're just trying to keep the breastfeeding rates up but god forbid what if a woman has a serious accident and ends up in hospital unable to breastfeed and the poor dad is stuck trying to feed a baby who doesn't have a clue how to eat from a bottle! I think at least a few minutes a day giving a baby a bit of milk in a bottle (expressed or formula) should be standard advice just for the sake of keeping the freedom to choose to continue breastfeeding or switching to bottles.

I actually tried to stop breastfeeding at around 6/7 months when Kili was getting her first teeth and she actually bit a tiny hole in both nipples and it hurt SO much! I tried 3 types of bottles but she wouldn't take any, not even when I left the room and let OH try she just screamed her head off poor baby. It would have been a godsend to have been able to use a bottle for at least a few of her feeds and give my poor nipples a chance to heal!

On the bright side once your LO is ready to drink from a sippy cup you can put formula milk in there I started doing that a couple months ago and it was actually really nice being able to go out and not worrying about where were going if there's somewhere to feed her privately or if the top I'm wearing could be easily pulled down etc... I could just bring a sippy cup with warm water and a little container with some milk powder in it!

 

[Kalah]

to my mil..

I really don't care that you gave daddy baby rice at 9 week, nore does leo... Stop telling him he is hungry and need's baby rice he,s 13 weeks with alot of tummy trouble as it is.

No, you can't "have him to stay" he is breast fed and no he wont "take the bottle for you if he's hungry enough!"

Don't moan that he's asleep when you come in at 7.30pm to see him!

STOP CALLING HIM "MY BABY BOY" i'm pretty sure he came out of my foof not yours!

Stop stocking up on baby foods for 2 reasons, 1 he,s not having ucking baby rice when you want to give it to him. He is under peadeatric care for his tummy, if he needed it, they'd tell me to give it to him, don't then say "i don't blame you" when i say i'm not doing it with his tummy problems, do we REALLY need to have this conversation EVERY time we see you??

You are the only person in the world that thinks MY son is ginger, just because his daddy was does not mean he is!

STOP ASKING ME WHEN HIS FLIPPING EYES ARE GOING TO CHANGE COLOUR!! WHY IS IT "SUCH A SHAME IF THEY GO BLUE LIKE MUMMYS" YES, DADDY HAS LUSH EYES, BUT MINE ARE ALSO NICE!!

To everyone in tesco, if he's asleep, don't flipping touch his feet then say sorry once you wake him up!

Don't ask me when / if i'm going back to work then proceed to tell me "how horrible" it will be for him to "grow up with out a mummy" oh, ok, i'll be a good mummy thats homeless instead shall i cos my mortgage wont pay its bloody self!!

Oh that's just ridiculous! As if you're not going to be home every night/weekend/holiday
I bet most kids actually really like being in daycare/nursery getting to play with other kids and lots of fun toys!

 

[Mizze]

Isn't it funny how no one actually tells new moms that if you don't start giving bottles at all the first few months, they probably won't ever take one later!

I made a joke a while ago in the breastfeeding thread that the reason they recommend exclusively breastfeeding for the first 6 months is because after that you can't stop!

You get told not to start too early - but no one says dont start too late and keep it up daily - until you dont and then (yes HV I mean you) they say -"oh yes we see that happen all the time" Well of course you freakin do!!

Mizze x

I swear I think they keep it a secret until it's too late! I mean I know they're just trying to keep the breastfeeding rates up but god forbid what if a woman has a serious accident and ends up in hospital unable to breastfeed and the poor dad is stuck trying to feed a baby who doesn't have a clue how to eat from a bottle! I think at least a few minutes a day giving a baby a bit of milk in a bottle (expressed or formula) should be standard advice just for the sake of keeping the freedom to choose to continue breastfeeding or switching to bottles.

I actually tried to stop breastfeeding at around 6/7 months when Kili was getting her first teeth and she actually bit a tiny hole in both nipples and it hurt SO much! I tried 3 types of bottles but she wouldn't take any, not even when I left the room and let OH try she just screamed her head off poor baby. It would have been a godsend to have been able to use a bottle for at least a few of her feeds and give my poor nipples a chance to heal!

On the bright side once your LO is ready to drink from a sippy cup you can put formula milk in there I started doing that a couple months ago and it was actually really nice being able to go out and not worrying about where were going if there's somewhere to feed her privately or if the top I'm wearing could be easily pulled down etc... I could just bring a sippy cup with warm water and a little container with some milk powder in it!

I think its likely i will do this - the unfair part is she took the bottle beautifully twice at around 3-4 wks then we didnt follow up and she refused at around 6 wks and ever after i have tried SO many bottles - but nada - shes quite happy chewing on the teat but will not suck and i wasted so much ebm - totally agree on the HV/MW bit - i think it would actually increase bf rates!

Anyway - To DH - No there is nothing wrong - just cos she cries/poos/doesnt poo/smiles/doesnt smile/has a sniffle/ doesnt splash in the the bath, does not mean we need to see the Dr! Chill out for gawds sake!

Mizze

 

[Lyndz]

@ this thread!!

To my MIL:

No, i will not leave Bella with you for a few hours/over night because you don't bother to see her, so why am i going to leave my baby with someone who only sees her ever 5/6 weeks?
No, she doesnt like you, for reasons stated above. Yes she is going to cry if you try and grab her for a hug, you're practically a f*cking stranger!
Try treating all of your grandkids the same instead of blatantly favouring your grandson?Why have you not bothered to ring and ask about her heart condition bitch? Nice how you've gone round telling all of your friends the small amount you know just to get sympathy!
Finally, F*CK OFF!

Oooh that felt good! i may be back with more!

 

[patch2006uk]

To all ladies with bottle taking issues - LOs can have sippy cups from 4 months. We were advised that if you want to introduce formula or expressed milk and the baby is older than 4 months, it's actually best to do it in a cup, cos then you don't have to wean them off bottles onto cups a couple of months down the line

 

[cowboys angel]

Excellent rants!

 

[babyloulou]

To all ladies with bottle taking issues - LOs can have sippy cups from 4 months. We were advised that if you want to introduce formula or expressed milk and the baby is older than 4 months, it's actually best to do it in a cup, cos then you don't have to wean them off bottles onto cups a couple of months down the line

I've been trying for the last few weeks- he doesn't seem willing to have a cup yet either

 

[Zedfaca]

We had the bottle problem here too but he started taking a doidy cup from five month. I really recommend them!

 

[Mizze]

To all ladies with bottle taking issues - LOs can have sippy cups from 4 months. We were advised that if you want to introduce formula or expressed milk and the baby is older than 4 months, it's actually best to do it in a cup, cos then you don't have to wean them off bottles onto cups a couple of months down the line

We had the bottle problem here too but he started taking a doidy cup from five month. I really recommend them!

Cheers! MUST get a doidy cup - so far cups have been a no go either! We perservere!

Mizze x

 

[Mizze]

I have another

To DH -No your Mum cant have LO for one of the days when im back in work. By then LO will be walking (more or less) and your Mum is 74, smokes like a chimney and is deaf! So when she pops to the kitchen for one of her many fag breaks exactly how will she know LO is okay and where she is and what she is doing!!
My Mum is younger, fitter and has perfect hearing but would also find it too exhausting!

Mizze xx

 

[cowboys angel]

To my neighbor:

LEAVE MY CHILDREN THE FUCK ALONE

I don't need you to parent for me. I don't need you to tell me how to parent. And I don't care if you're mad because I told them they didn't have to watch your garage sale. You had no fucking business asking a 7 year old and a 6 year old to watch your garage sale while you ran across town! Especially without discussing it with me. Not like I left it unattended anyway! I watched it.

And no, my stepdaughter was NOT disrespectful when she told you not to touch the baby. I asked her to watch the baby while I ran inside real quick. She was following my directions.

For your information I am the mommy, NOT you and if you EVER try to parent my child again, or touch my child again no matter how it was meant, I WILL call the police.