Things I cannot say out loud....

[BrokenfoREVer]

FOB: Stop telling me that I can't play bump my fav music. If he doesn't like your crap is cos its just that...crap! And for the record, when its me putting this music on to relax him when he's born...I want to like it too. Otherwise he'll be stressed cos I'm stressed! Fool!

Bump: Thank you so much for giving me a great big good morning kick today, after I woke up on my belly & worried myself cos it wasn't uncomfortable like it usually is. I rolled over & you let me know you were okay

Also bump...thank you for enjoying this quiet time with mummy's music while your dad is at work. I like our time & I'm dreading have to bring you into the world & share you I want to keep you safe with me.

Okay...I'm having an emotional day ): damn hormones!

 

[Maman]

baby, get out of my ribs and turn round.

fil- call up and offer to take ds for the day

oh- can you please stop whinging about everything and just help me with these libido issues? i want to go to bed NOW.

people who post junk mail- fuck off!

 

[Natsku]

Guy who delivers the advert papers - can you please not put them loudly through the letterbox 30 seconds after I've got Maria to sleep?

(alright I admit he couldn't know, and its my fault for having the pram in front of the door but GAH!)

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Natsku I love your pic of Maria

 

[Natsku]

She's so vain she just has to kiss herself in the mirror

 

[Lettuce]

Natsku I love your pic of Maria

I second this! Hilarious! xx

 

[BrokenfoREVer]

Grandad: I am NOT fat! I am 6 1/2 months pregnant you insensitive jerk!

Mom: When people comment on my bump please do not turn round & tell them I was fat before I got pregnant. Its very hurtful. I might have been chubby but I will lose that weight once bump gets here. How would you like it if I told people you still had your baby weight from 20 years ago!!

 

[Ozzieshunni]

I hate when my mom comments on my weight. I think she's pissed off that I didn't gain much during pregnancy and was back to all my prepregnancy clothes within a week. Jealous cow.

 

[Lauki]

Also please stop asking him to "show you on the doll where nasty mummy touched you" and saying "naughty mummy touching baby's todger" I have to clean it you know! He has the amazing ability to collect poo under his todger, you would know this had you ever changed him. You know buts about my childhood too so I think even joking that I'd molest Flynn is hugely inappropriate and insensitive.

Oh my. He needs a slap. That's one of the rudest things I heard. I know men can ge a bit insensitive, but that honestly goes too far. Have you spoken to it about him? Your hubby sounds like he needs to shape up, and soon!

 

[Lauki]

My MIL always says I've lost weight, even though I blatantly haven't!

MIL - I secretly like the fact that Sophie goes instantly quiet when I take her over from someone else because she was crying and wouldn't stop. It means I'm doing a good job as a mummy and she loves me!

 

[Kalah]

To the woman at the pharmacy counter today: Thank you for not grilling me with questions when I asked for a box of co-codamol!! It is so embarrassing when I have to explain that it's for my extremely painful period cramps that paracetamol doesn't even touch. More embarrassing when there are other people waiting behind me that can hear!
Also, if it's only meant to be taken for 3 days max then why is there a 4 day supply in each box?! That always confuses me!

And to my mom: stop acting pathetic it's annoying! I told her I don't plan on having Kili spend the night at her house and she got all sad and started asking "well what will I be allowed to do with her then" while sounding like she was about to start crying. I'm not just saying you can't have her over night to be mean, if you knew her at all you would know that she will not sleep in a new place without tons of hugs and comfort nursing from me. It took her 4 days to start sleeping through the night again when we moved into this house. I can't just change up her routine every so often so that you two can be asleep in the same place, what's the point in putting her through that, you will be asleep!! Actually, you wouldn't be asleep, you'd be up all night holding a screaming baby who wants her mommy!
Oh and yes I know that you like to do things around noon, but she has always had an afternoon nap from 12-2, same time every single day, and when I try and keep her up later than that she gets very very angry, so it's not going to change for your convenience.

 

[cowboys angel]

In case you drop one day supply?

 

[divershona]

OH - thank you so much for having Kaya at yours for the last 2 days so that i can get some rest and attempt to get over this cold, its definately appreciated!!!!!

FOB - why can't you get your arse into gear and come and see your daughter?!!?!?!? you've made the effort to see her once since she was born and that was almost 10 months ago! Why can't you at least call/text/FB message once a week to find out how she is doing, you're mum emails me at least 2 times a week to see how we're getting on. And if you had bothered to call me or whatever you would have found out from me that Kaya had to have an operation on her feet not from your mum ... not that you give a shit anyway seeing as you can't be arsed trying to get the time off work to come and see her when she'll be in the hospital.

MIL - Thanks for being so amazing about OH and I having another baby, and I really appreciate your support

Mum - Get a grip on yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Me having another baby does not mean that i will be neglecting Kaya in any way, if anything she will get more 1 on 1 attention with me as i'll be finishing college as this LO is born and then doing open uni not going to glasgow uni so that i can spend more time with my two children!

FOB - you have no money to pay me in child support but you manage to book two weeks holiday off from work the same time as Kaya's first birthday to go to florida and not to see your daughter on her first birthday. I FU**ING HATE YOU FOR THAT!!!!!!!

ME - GET A LIFE!!!!!!! you have just spent the whole day reading 160 pages of thsi thread ... you really need to get out more!!!!!!!

 

[Ozzieshunni]

I'm literally on BnB all day when LO is having a growth spurt.

 

[lindseymw]

To LO, please please stop feeding! I'm suppose to be going out in 20mins & you've wanted feeding for the past 2 hours so I haven't had chance for a bath, don't know what I'm wearing & I have a curfew of 10.30pm so I would actually like to be able to go out for one drink!

 

[lisaf]

Dear LO... I'm sorry you woke up after only a 10 minute nap.... but its your fault, so don't be cranky with me for trying to put you back to sleep. And now that you refused to nap at all, please don't be fussy, its not fair damnit!

 

[Lettuce]

Jen, thank you for being so good tonight for gran and grandad, mummy and daddy had a lovely night at the party! . Now, go to sleep!

DH thanks for leaving the party with me, I know it was only 11 and you wanted to do more baileys shots with your friends (yes, not very manly!) but thanks for doing that, and for trying to distract me on the way to mum and dads, making me pop into the flat for a quickie before going to get Jen! that was excellent! I felt like a woman again, not just a mum.

Mum and dad thanks for watching Jennifer, we would have been there sooner, but the temptation of an empty flat was too strong! xxx

 

[MissFox]

 

[Daisygirl82]

To MIL - Leave me alone. And every Sunday does not need to be dedicated to you.

 

[Tiffa130]

To my friend's friend. If your hands are too dirty to touch photos my friend is trying to show you then they are definitly too dirty to touch my baby's hands! I warned you she chews her hands but you didn't really get the point. It's also very weird that you are fawning over & touching my baby saying things like "she's gotten so big" "she's so happy today" or "her hair is darkening" when it's the first time either of us have met you.

To my niece. We love you & we are really trying to offer you emotional support from a long distance. Twice now we have come into town for a week JUST TO SEE YOU & you've blown us off. I know you're probably sad & scared & feeling alone but it's still no excuse to blow us off. The baby will be born one way or another, you can't avoid your doctor appointments, especially because they don't want you to go into labour because of your heart.
Please text us & kerp us updated, we're very concerned.

To the cold that OH, LO & I have - fuck off, you suck & I'm sorry I spread it to my brother & his GF a week before their vacation (and possible engagment if she says yes) I feel awful.