This morning

[LegoHouse]

That's your decision I was only saying how it makes me feel... I don't like it, I don't think it's the right thing to do, but like you say, I haven't had to live it so I will keep my opinion to myself until I do have to live it, and then I can tell you I still haven't had to lock my child in their bedroom for 3 hours screaming.

 

[chell5544]

I'm sure there are things some parents do that do make you think they're monsters though, right? Or maybe not. But sometimes I read/see things and I do think parents are monsters and I don't understand everything I hear/read/witness. I'm sure even with the man sat next to me he couldn't make me understand it.

For me the parents I see as monsters are those who illegally abuse, neglect, rape and kill their kids.

I see/hear/read a lot of things that I would not do but I strongly believe we are all different, we parent differently, our children have different personalities etc. doesn't make one way right and one way wrong, doesn't mean one mother loves their child more then another and it doesn't give me the right to pass judgement on another person just because I wouldn't do it

 

[Natsku]

Some toddlers won't settle any other way. I tried everything with Maria for 20 months (co-sleeping, PU/PD, mild CC, back to co-sleeping, using a bottle to get her to sleep, responding immediately every time she woke to stop her waking fully to maximise sleep and then when she started to come out of the room at night I tried the back to bed technique before resorting to the stair gate and finally CC) and she was exhausted and miserable from not sleeping enough so leaving her to cry in the end was actually the best thing for her.

3 hours seems really excessive to me but maybe going back in to check on him just upset him more. When I did CC with Maria I had to adjust it as when Maria got more tired she would get upset if I went back in so when I could tell by her whinging that she was nearly asleep I wouldn't go back in to comfort her. Some children are just different and need different methods.

 

[LoraLoo]

That's your decision I was only saying how it makes me feel... I don't like it, I don't think it's the right thing to do, but like you say, I haven't had to live it so I will keep my opinion to myself until I do have to live it, and then I can tell you I still haven't had to lock my child in their bedroom for 3 hours screaming.

Yes my decision. You make yours, they make theirs

ETA- Your signature, totally hypocitical.

 

[LegoHouse]

No it isn't. But I won't start on what I think good mothers and fathers are. No point commenting on here anymore nothing I say will be accepted unless I agree lol

 

[OmarsMum]

Can you not get them to sleep nicely and then lock the door though?

Crying for 3 hours would give me a major headache.

Some kids don't sleep nicely

My nephew has to cry before he sleeps, it can go for 30-45 mins but if he's so tired it takes a 2 mins cry. SIL has to literally pin him in bed to get him to fall asleep. He screams so loud, then he falls asleep. He's 2 yrs. he will not take cuddles, or soothing. He will end up hitting his mum. She holds him in place, ignores him until he's done crying himself to sleep. She bed shares, she's with him but she leaves him to cry, it's the only way that works.

For us the only way that works those days is to take him for a car ride. I tried everything, & I still bed share, but nothing was working. So now if we're out, I change him in the car & I even carry a tooth brush with me, if he doesn't sleep by the time we reach home, we go round & round until he finally falls asleep. When we're at home, when it's bedtime, we go for a car ride around the building, he even needs music on to sleep, we have to play the same song again & again, & windows should be close. He also wears his sunglasses to sleep in the car

I'm rambling here, but what I'm trying to say, some parents do get desperate when they have ongoing sleep issues. After almost two years of broken sleep, & very late bedtimes, we finally found a way to get him to fall asleep without spending over two hours in bed trying to settle him. He used to cry, have tantrums, leave bed & stay awake until 3 am refusing to go to sleep. He doesn't nap & he wakes up so early. Now he sleeps at a decent time & he gets 9-11 hrs of night sleep.

 

[LoraLoo]

Can you not get them to sleep nicely and then lock the door though?

Crying for 3 hours would give me a major headache.

Some kids don't sleep nicely

My nephew has to cry before he sleeps, it can go for 30-45 mins but if he's so tired it takes a 2 mins cry. SIL has to literally pin him in bed to get him to fall asleep. He screams so loud, then he falls asleep. He's 2 yrs. he will not take cuddles, or soothing. He will end up hitting his mum. She holds him in place, ignores him until he's done crying himself to sleep. She bed shares, she's with him but she leaves him to cry, it's the only way that works.

For us the only way that works those days is to take him for a car ride. I tried everything, & I still bed share, but nothing was working. So now if we're out, I change him in the car & I even carry a tooth brush with me, if he doesn't sleep by the time we reach home, we go round & round until he finally falls asleep. When we're at home, when it's bedtime, we go for a car ride around the building, he even needs music on to sleep, we have to play the same song again & again, & windows should be close. He also wears his sunglasses to sleep in the car

I'm rambling here, but what I'm trying to say, some parents do get desperate when they have ongoing sleep issues. After almost two years of broken sleep, & very late bedtimes, we finally found a way to get him to fall asleep without spending over two hours in bed trying to settle him. He used to cry, have tantrums, leave bed & stay awake until 3 am refusing to go to sleep. He doesn't nap & he wakes up so early. Now he sleeps at a decent time & he gets 9-11 hrs of night sleep.

I used to drive Amy round for what seemed like hours, I would pull up at home, turn round and she would be awake again screaming. Off again we would go......!

 

[Emma&Freya]

I cant be bothered reading back all these pages as I no its just going to be an argument.

I dont agreee that a child should be locked in a room,I dont think its safe, and I certainly wontbe doing it with Freya

 

[OmarsMum]

Well it's better than watching Mickey club house until 3 am

We used to try and keep him awake on our way home thinking that he will wake up once we try to move him, he used to cry in the car wanting to sleep, but as soon as we reach home, he used to get his energy back & stay awake until very late.

Last week he fell asleep in the car but I couldn't wake him up, we went home after 45 mins, DH carried him to bed, & he stayed asleep until next morning. We tried again next night & it worked. He slept from 9 to 9!

We thought we were doing the right thing by keeping him awake in the car but we weren't.

 

[LoraLoo]

I cant be bothered reading back all these pages as I no its just going to be an argument.

I dont agreee that a child should be locked in a room,I dont think its safe, and I certainly wontbe doing it with Freya

Why is it not safe?

 

[Natsku]

I've had some of the best nights from Maria when she's fallen asleep in the car! (though she would wake when I moved her to bed and changed her nappy etc but she'd go straight back to sleep and sleep through) Sleep training was the best thing I did with Maria though as now she sleeps 12-14 hours (sometimes a little more) every night with just the occasional wake-up and is much happier as a result.

 

[chell5544]

^^ I wish lexi was like that if we go anywhere we have to be home by 6 if she gets just 2 mins of eye shut in the car she is good to go for another 8 hrs lol as soon as we pick her up she is wide awake lol

 

[Emma&Freya]

I cant be bothered reading back all these pages as I no its just going to be an argument.

I dont agreee that a child should be locked in a room,I dont think its safe, and I certainly wontbe doing it with Freya

Why is it not safe?

Some children lash out. I no a girl who held the door leaving her child to scream, he done somethin to the wardrobe and it it fell on top of him knocking him out.

Again, not looking for an argument just stating my opinion xx

 

[LoraLoo]

^^ I wish lexi was like that if we go anywhere we have to be home by 6 if she gets just 2 mins of eye shut in the car she is good to go for another 8 hrs lol

I cant keep William up past 6pm! Doesnt matter how long he sleeps for through the day i could prop his eyes open with match sticks and he would still fall asleep at 6pm!

 

[LoraLoo]

I cant be bothered reading back all these pages as I no its just going to be an argument.

I dont agreee that a child should be locked in a room,I dont think its safe, and I certainly wontbe doing it with Freya

Why is it not safe?

Some children lash out. I no a girl who held the door leaving her child to scream, he done somethin to the wardrobe and it it fell on top of him knocking him out.

Again, not looking for an argument just stating my opinion xx

But he could do the same going downstairs in the middle of the night. At least confined to 1 room they can eliminate the dangers, going down 2 flights of steps in the dark is a danger in itself. he was pulling things down on himself once he got downstairs, thus hurting himself.

 

[Natsku]

Make the bedroom safe then you don't need to worry about that. Maria had nothing she call pull on herself in her room (cupboards are built in) and no other way to hurt herself.

 

[Emma&Freya]

Either way I dont agree with it and I wont be doing it with Freya.

Each to there own, going to bed now night x

 

[LoraLoo]

Plus pulling something over is something a child in a non-locked room could do Im just not getting this argument, sorry.

 

[Jaylynne]

I still think (if no other viable option) locking the doors is much preferable to having a child with a concussion or broken bones from falling down stairs, having ironing boards fall on him or playing with the stove. The parents didn't do it just for sleep.

6 months of little to no sleep is a hell of a long time for both baby and parent!

And seriously, what's the difference between a baby gate locking a child in vs a door locked if both would have been capable of keeping a child in that room? If the toddler wasn't able to climb over or unlock the baby gate it wouldn't make it safer.

 

[MommyJogger]

Plus pulling something over is something a child in a non-locked room could do Im just not getting this argument, sorry.

I think it's more that locking an upset child in a room is more likely to cause them to engage in dangerous behavior like pulling things over. I know my emo brother used to cut himself when he was sent to his room as punishment. He obv wasn't 3 at the time, but being upset and not knowing how to deal with it can result in self-destructive behavior at any age-- and there's no way a 3 year old is going to logic into "I'm dry, fed, warm, and safe, maybe I should just go to sleep now". My bro did CIO with both the kids he was around to help raise and his would claw and bite themselves in their frustration. At that age, they really are just learning that their needs are not going to be met and their cries for help ignored. It's that kind of conditioning that leads to destructive behavior and emotional disturbance later in life. CC is one thing (not that I agree with it, but I certainly wouldn't class it as abuse) and holding your child while they cry to sleep still shows them that someone is there to help meet their emotional needs. Locking them in a room to flail and scream their way to sleep might not get a middle-class white guy arrested for abuse, but it does make him an asshole and a shit father.

ETA: He also sucks at picking Christmas trees.