Three years!

[Marie000]

See, I think this is a big part of what rubs me the wrong way sometimes about people who feel differently about this topic than I do.

Every time I have had this 'debate' online, I feel like the other side (those advocating for long-term breastfeeding) are quicker to judge than I am, and label me 'uneducated' or archaic, or say I'm a product of society's tendency to sexualize breasts. I don't believe this is fair or true. There are valid, educated points for the other side too. I'm educated and have actually done a lot of reading and research on this: still I come to the same conclusion. I would like my feelings and opinions to be respected as valid, just as I'm doing with Cangaroo even though I have a different viewpoint than her.

I have not yet seen any research that has shown any benefits for the child in weaning early. Perhaps I missed something. I don't mean that to criticize, but I am curious.

First off, determine what you mean by "early?"
My daughter seems to be weaned now at 13 months, and I don't consider it early. I went longer than most people do, and longer than I ever expected I could..

There was an article online about a girl who regrets her "memories" of being nursed until the age of 3.5. Its an anecdote, so not based on research. Given that I know I would feel the same as her if I were in her shoes, thats one of the few reasons I choose not to nurse my child until that old of an age.

That doesnt make me right or wrong, but its a valid concern.

I meant "early" as in before self-weaning. I did not mean that as a judgement (as in too early).

hmmm.. okay. I guess some people might be upset after the fact for remembering breastfeeding. Probably due in large part to the fact that it's not accepted in our culture. Does sound like an isolated anecdote though.

 

[daneuse27]

See, I think this is a big part of what rubs me the wrong way sometimes about people who feel differently about this topic than I do.

Every time I have had this 'debate' online, I feel like the other side (those advocating for long-term breastfeeding) are quicker to judge than I am, and label me 'uneducated' or archaic, or say I'm a product of society's tendency to sexualize breasts. I don't believe this is fair or true. There are valid, educated points for the other side too. I'm educated and have actually done a lot of reading and research on this: still I come to the same conclusion. I would like my feelings and opinions to be respected as valid, just as I'm doing with Cangaroo even though I have a different viewpoint than her.

I have not yet seen any research that has shown any benefits for the child in weaning early. Perhaps I missed something. I don't mean that to criticize, but I am curious.

First off, determine what you mean by "early?"
My daughter seems to be weaned now at 13 months, and I don't consider it early. I went longer than most people do, and longer than I ever expected I could..

There was an article online about a girl who regrets her "memories" of being nursed until the age of 3.5. Its an anecdote, so not based on research. Given that I know I would feel the same as her if I were in her shoes, thats one of the few reasons I choose not to nurse my child until that old of an age.

That doesnt make me right or wrong, but its a valid concern.

I meant "early" as in before self-weaning. I did not mean that as a judgement (as in too early).

hmmm.. okay. I guess some people might be upset after the fact for remembering breastfeeding. Probably due in large part to the fact that it's not accepted in our culture. Does sound like an isolated anecdote though.

I agree - I am curious about what role(s) would contribute to a person disliking the fact that they remember breastfeeding too. In my own personal case, it might be due the relationship I have with my mom (we're not estranged, we get along well but we just weren't a physically close family - weren't big on hugs or cuddling when I was growing up) So that could be part of why the thought of remembering breastfeeding weirds me out a little.

Other people may not want to remember for other reasons. In the case of the girl who wrote the article it seemed that her mom didn't continue for the best reasons. She is still close with her mom, but the mom admits that she continued to nurse her after 3 largely because she was her last baby and the mom was having a hard time 'letting go.' The girl resents her mom for having made this decision, and maybe her motives are part of the reason?

Then I guess there are people that value breasts for their role in sex. I do believe their primary purpose is to feed a baby. But my breasts have also been important in my sex life. This may sound odd... but I would be disappointed if my partner didnt want to do anything with my breasts, because he associated breasts as being something of his mom. That would hurt our sex life for sure. But does that mean women should hesitate to breastfeed their child into school years? Maybe not. Its just something I think about and one of my reasons for choosing to let her wean (and tbh, I think she did wean herself - I did the 'dont offer dont refuse' and she never asked for it again.)

I'm not judging anyone for making the best decision they can for their kids, I just have my own preference for how I raise mine.

 

[littlestar85]

Hi Ladies,

It's taken me a while to come back to this thread as I couldn't quite believe someone could be so rude. It reminded why I stopped coming on B&B.

To those of you who are intelligent enough to be informed on the subject, thank you for your kind words of congratulations and support. Some of you have inspired me right from the early days on the B&B Breastfeeding forum so I really appreciate your words of wisdom!

To those of you who are negative, why bother replying? Why not use this time to research the subject that you've bothered to come on a forum about?

Honestly, it's no wonder most women don't try harder to breastfeed full term when there are so many mean, judgmental, ignorant, rude and uninformed people out there ready to pounce on those of us who do.

 

[DianaB]

Don't listen to people who would be rude about it I think it's a wonderful accomplishment to make it so long. I was so sad to have to stop giving my daughter breast milk at 14 months because I was exclusively pumping and being pregnant dried up my milk. This time around breastfeeding is going well and to be honest if we don't make it to at least 2 years I think I'd be upset. Good job on doing such a wonderful thing for your child despite any negative viewpoints others might have.

 

[daneuse27]

Hi Ladies,

It's taken me a while to come back to this thread as I couldn't quite believe someone could be so rude. It reminded why I stopped coming on B&B.

To those of you who are intelligent enough to be informed on the subject, thank you for your kind words of congratulations and support. Some of you have inspired me right from the early days on the B&B Breastfeeding forum so I really appreciate your words of wisdom!

To those of you who are negative, why bother replying? Why not use this time to research the subject that you've bothered to come on a forum about?

Honestly, it's no wonder most women don't try harder to breastfeed full term when there are so many mean, judgmental, ignorant, rude and uninformed people out there ready to pounce on those of us who do.

I think its actually a little rude to call someone unintelligent just for having a different opinion from you. I don't mind people having different opinions about things, as long as no one is condescending about it.

 

[littlestar85]

Hi Ladies,

It's taken me a while to come back to this thread as I couldn't quite believe someone could be so rude. It reminded why I stopped coming on B&B.

To those of you who are intelligent enough to be informed on the subject, thank you for your kind words of congratulations and support. Some of you have inspired me right from the early days on the B&B Breastfeeding forum so I really appreciate your words of wisdom!

To those of you who are negative, why bother replying? Why not use this time to research the subject that you've bothered to come on a forum about?

Honestly, it's no wonder most women don't try harder to breastfeed full term when there are so many mean, judgmental, ignorant, rude and uninformed people out there ready to pounce on those of us who do.

I think its actually a little rude to call someone unintelligent just for having a different opinion from you. I don't mind people having different opinions about things, as long as no one is condescending about it.

If someone's 'opinion' demonstrates an obvious lack of intelligence as it is presented with an air of uninformed prejudice then pointing that out is not rude, it's merely stating a fact.

I posted on the breastfeeding forum about my happiness at succeeding with my breastfeeding journey. No one needed to come onto the thread and post anti full term breastfeeding 'opinions' unless they wanted to cause trouble or are lacking a basic comprehension of how these forums work which would indicate, again, a lack of intelligence.

Irregardless of whether it's ok for me to voice my upset at someone being rude to me on my thread, this is a forum where women are supposed to support each other not degrade with negativity.

I have looked at other posts the offending poster has written and I can see that we are at opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to parenting so I am not taking her rudeness personally. I believe in baby led parenting, where you give your all to your child as I believe it is the child's right to have that. Full term breastfeeding is a major part of that. Many intelligent members have posted on this thread with various facts about the fundamental importance of full term breastfeeding where it is possible to do so. I would suggest anyone who is against it reads through the thread properly and educates themselves.

 

[daneuse27]

Hi Ladies,

It's taken me a while to come back to this thread as I couldn't quite believe someone could be so rude. It reminded why I stopped coming on B&B.

To those of you who are intelligent enough to be informed on the subject, thank you for your kind words of congratulations and support. Some of you have inspired me right from the early days on the B&B Breastfeeding forum so I really appreciate your words of wisdom!

To those of you who are negative, why bother replying? Why not use this time to research the subject that you've bothered to come on a forum about?

Honestly, it's no wonder most women don't try harder to breastfeed full term when there are so many mean, judgmental, ignorant, rude and uninformed people out there ready to pounce on those of us who do.

I think its actually a little rude to call someone unintelligent just for having a different opinion from you. I don't mind people having different opinions about things, as long as no one is condescending about it.

If someone's 'opinion' demonstrates an obvious lack of intelligence as it is presented with an air of uninformed prejudice then pointing that out is not rude, it's merely stating a fact.

I posted on the breastfeeding forum about my happiness at succeeding with my breastfeeding journey. No one needed to come onto the thread and post anti full term breastfeeding 'opinions' unless they wanted to cause trouble or are lacking a basic comprehension of how these forums work which would indicate, again, a lack of intelligence.

Irregardless of whether it's ok for me to voice my upset at someone being rude to me on my thread, this is a forum where women are supposed to support each other not degrade with negativity.

I have looked at other posts the offending poster has written and I can see that we are at opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to parenting so I am not taking her rudeness personally. I believe in baby led parenting, where you give your all to your child as I believe it is the child's right to have that. Full term breastfeeding is a major part of that. Many intelligent members have posted on this thread with various facts about the fundamental importance of full term breastfeeding where it is possible to do so. I would suggest anyone who is against it reads through the thread properly and educates themselves.

I don't think its ever ok for someone to be hateful or cruel in their posts, but the mere act of expressing a different opinion isn't something that should be looked down on. The internet would be useless if it weren't a platform of free speech and information. I agree that the original negative post you got wasn't helpful, and wasn't well expressed. But I don't think that not agreeing with breastfeeding beyond toddlerhood makes someone unintelligent. I know many intelligent people with good jobs and healthy lives who feel the way I do; they don't support breastfeeding past a certain age (could be a different age range for each person) and it is possible to have read all the facts, have the information available and still conclude with that opinion. It happens. I've looked into this extensively and still feel the way I do. It doesn't mean I'm less intelligent than you, and to suggest that is arrogant. I think its ok for different people to feel differently.

 

[summer rain]

Daneusa this isn't the only similar thread you have posted your unwarranted opinion on, it's fine if it's a thread in news and debates but no it's not fine if it's a personal thread as is the case here. You also post the exact same anecdotal story every time too. If you have a problem with extended BFing then surely it's better to ignore threads like these?

For me I'm sad that my son stopped a couple of months shy of three years but it was time for us to stop for various reasons, thankfully I didn't have to actively wean as he just tapered feeds down to every 2 days at night and a week or so ago just stopped of his own accord saying he is too big for mummy milk now xx

 

[babyjan]

I think it's so sad that a thread OP made about reaching 3 years of breastfeeding has turned into this.

Like summer said, this isn't the news & debate section!

 

[daneuse27]

Daneusa this isn't the only similar thread you have posted your unwarranted opinion on, it's fine if it's a thread in news and debates but no it's not fine if it's a personal thread as is the case here. You also post the exact same anecdotal story every time too. If you have a problem with extended BFing then surely it's better to ignore threads like these?

For me I'm sad that my son stopped a couple of months shy of three years but it was time for us to stop for various reasons, thankfully I didn't have to actively wean as he just tapered feeds down to every 2 days at night and a week or so ago just stopped of his own accord saying he is too big for mummy milk now xx

I don't know what anecdote you're talking about? I didn't use any anecdote this time.

If you're perfectly confidant about extended BF, then I dont know why my opinion bothers you so much. You can't just silence people you dont agree with about something.

 

[w8ing4bean]

Well done OP, you're an inspiration! Along with the lady nursing her 4 year old xx

 

[summer rain]

Daneusa this isn't the only similar thread you have posted your unwarranted opinion on, it's fine if it's a thread in news and debates but no it's not fine if it's a personal thread as is the case here. You also post the exact same anecdotal story every time too. If you have a problem with extended BFing then surely it's better to ignore threads like these?

For me I'm sad that my son stopped a couple of months shy of three years but it was time for us to stop for various reasons, thankfully I didn't have to actively wean as he just tapered feeds down to every 2 days at night and a week or so ago just stopped of his own accord saying he is too big for mummy milk now xx

I don't know what anecdote you're talking about? I didn't use any anecdote this time.

If you're perfectly confidant about extended BF, then I dont know why my opinion bothers you so much. You can't just silence people you dont agree with about something.

Um post 20 and 22? Not only that but it's the same old anecdotal story you talk about every time! If you can't 'get over' extended breastfeeding then that's fine but don't rain on OP's parade it simply isn't fair and drives people away from the forum.

 

[daneuse27]

Well maybe the same old anecdotal story is worth considering. I just thought it was interesting.

 

[Tacey]

Well maybe the same old anecdotal story is worth considering. I just thought it was interesting.

I think the point being made is that it's maybe not the most appropriate place for a debate or discussion. A "What do you think of full term bf?" post is very different from a "Yay! I made it this far!" post. I fully understand the range of attitudes towards it. I love the fact that there are places we can discuss those and share ideas. They challenge my beliefs and help widen my outlook. This particular post just isn't one of those places.

 

[Button#]

Congratulations OP on your milestone.

I also have an anecdote. A friend of mine who has a seven year old boy told me that when her son was poorly recently he asked for a breastfeed even though he hadn't been breastfed for years. He said he remembered how nice it was. She had to tell him there was no more milk but she was pleased he had good memories of it.

 

[SarahBear]

no offense but the t hough of grown children drinking milk from a breast is just disturbing.. breast milk, like formula is there to provide nutrition to infants since they cannot eat nor digest solid foods until a certain age..not for kids who can eat and get nutrition from food.. to think of a grown 4 ir 5 year old sucking on his or her moms boob for milk is very odd.. and the poor child when they start school crying for there mothers breast is even more disturbing.. this takes the phrase "get ur kid off ur breast already" to a whole other level!!

Actually, the fact is, breast milk is is there to provide nutrition to infants, toddlers, and young children. The statements you made above are opinion ladened judgements, not facts... just to clarify.

 

[daneuse27]

no offense but the t hough of grown children drinking milk from a breast is just disturbing.. breast milk, like formula is there to provide nutrition to infants since they cannot eat nor digest solid foods until a certain age..not for kids who can eat and get nutrition from food.. to think of a grown 4 ir 5 year old sucking on his or her moms boob for milk is very odd.. and the poor child when they start school crying for there mothers breast is even more disturbing.. this takes the phrase "get ur kid off ur breast already" to a whole other level!!

Actually, the fact is, breast milk is is there to provide nutrition to infants, toddlers, and young children. The statements you made above are opinion ladened judgements, not facts... just to clarify.

I know that wikipedia isn't a credible source, but it is often referenced by people who cite credible sources. If you read the first few lines about breastmilk, its no wonder why it is widely believed to be a source of nutrition to infants and toddlers, not older children.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breast_milk

I agree the opinion expressed above was done so rudely and it was uncalled for; I just think that she's not alone in how she thinks and breastmilk is still conveyed in most literature as being for very young beings rather than school-aged kids. (I know the WHO says 2 years 'and beyond' but I'm talking about other sources that people read on a regular basis. - magazines, info panflits, and several books written by experts too.)

It just isnt' something that has been put 'out there' iykwim? And that is why there is only a small minority of people who believe in it in Western cultures.

 

[Button#]

no offense but the t hough of grown children drinking milk from a breast is just disturbing.. breast milk, like formula is there to provide nutrition to infants since they cannot eat nor digest solid foods until a certain age..not for kids who can eat and get nutrition from food.. to think of a grown 4 ir 5 year old sucking on his or her moms boob for milk is very odd.. and the poor child when they start school crying for there mothers breast is even more disturbing.. this takes the phrase "get ur kid off ur breast already" to a whole other level!!

Actually, the fact is, breast milk is is there to provide nutrition to infants, toddlers, and young children. The statements you made above are opinion ladened judgements, not facts... just to clarify.

I know that wikipedia isn't a credible source, but it is often referenced by people who cite credible sources. If you read the first few lines about breastmilk, its no wonder why it is widely believed to be a source of nutrition to infants and toddlers, not older children.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breast_milk

I agree the opinion expressed above was done so rudely and it was uncalled for; I just think that she's not alone in how she thinks and breastmilk is still conveyed in most literature as being for very young beings rather than school-aged kids. (I know the WHO says 2 years 'and beyond' but I'm talking about other sources that people read on a regular basis. - magazines, info panflits, and several books written by experts too.)

It just isnt' something that has been put 'out there' iykwim? And that is why there is only a small minority of people who believe in it in Western cultures.

Believe in what? A breastfeeding relationship is between a mother and her child and is incredibly personal. I really don't understand what there is to be against when it's somebody else doing it and it's doing no harm.