Well, not too sure whats going on with me.
I woke up this morning to some light spotting
and assumed AF would be close behind- as she usually is But so far nothing...AF was due to ride in today...usually she arrives in the AM- but I'm sure she is just playing mind games with me! So, I had my nice long
this morning and have been looking for my PMA all day! This month has definitely been the toughest for DH and I. We were both "sure" we had caught this month- and we never really talked about it. It was like an unspoken understanding between us- a feeling we had but didn't discuss b/c we didn't want to jinx ourselves. The hardest part of today was definitely having to tell my DH. He came down the stairs this morning and immediately said with a smile on face "No bleeding yet?!?!" and I instantly began crying. He just swooped me up in his arms and hugged me. When I finally calmed down and looked at his face- I saw that he had been tearing up too!
This has NEVER happened before. We sat and talked about how its ok- we will try again. But I could tell he was SO disappointed. He kept telling me that I deserve it and that he knows how much I love Xmas and that a bfp would be the perfect gift that I deserve...I have such a wonderful hubby
I wish I didn't feel like in some way I let him down...
Well, all day I have been running to the bathroom looking for AF...stupid witch is hiding
If your going to ruin this cycle...just show your ugly face and get it over with!!!!!
I have also been looking for my PMA...of which I discovered that I will be ov on or around Xmas day...so I guess if I cant have a bfp for christmas- maybe I can at least make a baby on christmas!
OK, well this turned into a novel- so I am going to sign off for a bit and try to collect my thoughts. I was super busy at work today so I haven't really been thinking about things..and as I am typing I feel myself getting more emotional again! So, thanks for listening...will check in soon!