Trying To Conceive #1 Only Vent Thread

[mapletulip]

Wow so much fail. Talking to someone about our infertility and the first thing the person says is "have you thought about ivf"? No...I've been ttc 4 years and have never thought of IVF not once.

Gosh! I know this isn't something to smile about but it made me smile just because it's the same way I feel. Sometimes I feel people don't realize what they are saying and I just want to be like, "seriously" maybe they think they are helping but it's so annoying sometimes.

Oh my....how do you reply to that? I have gotten the: 'check your CM, if it looks like eggwhites, you're good to go!'

I bet that all of us ladies on this forum know FAR more about fertility and pregnancy than most moms out there that just 'happen' to get pregnant. I had a friend who has 2 kids tell me the other day it takes SIX WEEKS for a baby to implant into the uterus and that's why she didn't get nauseous until then.

 

[laurac1988]

"Just stop trying and it will happen"

SERIOUSLY?! We are LESBIANS! If we stop trying there will be no sperm and therefore definitely no baby!!!

 

[Mumtodogs]

"you're not getting any younger you know, you should get cracking...."

I'll crack the next person who says that...

 

[Nicolefunnell]

Wow so much fail. Talking to someone about our infertility and the first thing the person says is "have you thought about ivf"? No...I've been ttc 4 years and have never thought of IVF not once.

Gosh! I know this isn't something to smile about but it made me smile just because it's the same way I feel. Sometimes I feel people don't realize what they are saying and I just want to be like, "seriously" maybe they think they are helping but it's so annoying sometimes.

Oh my....how do you reply to that? I have gotten the: 'check your CM, if it looks like eggwhites, you're good to go!'

I bet that all of us ladies on this forum know FAR more about fertility and pregnancy than most moms out there that just 'happen' to get pregnant. I had a friend who has 2 kids tell me the other day it takes SIX WEEKS for a baby to implant into the uterus and that's why she didn't get nauseous until then.

Oh, gosh!! My friend tried telling me you have one period when you are pregnant. So, If I start I still have a chance that I am actually pregnant. I tried not to lol. I also get upset cause people keep trying to tell me how to get pregnant. I'm sorry I didn't realize there was another way then how I am doing it???

 

[MissyLissy]

I found out today that my second IUI failed and I just felt so hopeless and awful all day long...I could barely focus at work after my BFN this morning.

So my wonderful husband who is CONSTANTLY putting on a brave positive face for me (even though I know he is hurting just as much as me) tells me he's taking me out tonight to this Japaneese Hibachi grill that I love for a date night. Adults only.

Who should sit at our table but a nine month pregnant women, her husband and her two kids. Now I know you run this risk when you sit at a table with strangers, but this place isn't what I would consider kid friendly. We didnt see this coming. Said family wanted their kids to "see the show." The happy family of four (soon to be five) spent the whole dinner talking to the other couple at our table about said woman's pregnancy and how she was due any day. The other couple had hired a baby sitter for the night and the two happy families swapped stories about child rearing. Per usual, hubs and i sat there quietly because we have nothing to contribute to those types of conversations, which are becomming more numerous by the month amongst my peers, isolating us more and more all the time. Also, I watched pregnant woman eat a plate full of sushi. Is that safe??? I guess when you are knee deep pregnant with number 3 you start to become lenient with the "rules." I don't know, but I judged her silently.

I cried on the way home, making my husband feel really bad. He was just trying to cheer me up by doing something nice for me.

 

[oneKnight]

I went out with my sisters and nephew tonight, to a used clothes sale for kids. I volunteered for it, to get to spend some time with my nephew. It was great, I got to carry him in his carrier for a bit, and just help with holding him some of the time while everyone shopped. I bought a "cutest nephew ever" onsie for him, and a "most wanted" outfit for my future little one - because he/she will be the most wanted baby in my world!!!
Anyway, I posted a pic on FB of me with him in the carrier(posted for the benefit of my in-laws) and someone said "I didn't know you had a baby?!" ....... yeah, like I would suddenly show up with a 4 month old whom I haven't mentioned or posted a pic of in FOUR whole months????? (and never made a pregnancy or birth announcement on FB either.....I'm a FB addict so that wouldn't happen!) The stupidity of some people never ceases to amaze me! Nevermind that I occasionally rant about infertility-insurance problems on FB. I guess nobody was paying attention to those posts huh?
Just seemed really dumb, weird, and awkward.
THEN, somebody else said I was adorable in the pic, and that I should get one of those "accessories" for myself - and I assume she meant the baby. Wow. Talk about weird! She's a pretty good (online-only) friend and I usually value her comments, but that was just....weird.

 

[tamithomas]

That same person that I mentioned yesterday did it again today but this time it was not cute. Yesterday's at least I could laugh at it because it's a dumdum moment but today, today she acted like she's my doctor. Telling me stuff like "try IUI, have your hubby take x,y,z vitamins and get this checked out" I'm sorry but stfu, the ivf comment was hilarious to laugh at but you're not my doctor. I have 4 years under my belt with this stuff, trust me I know my stuff now back off. Hate it when people who have not dealt with infertility act like they know everything.

 

[Seekingbabies]

I'm so grateful that I stumbled onto this site. My hubby and I have been ttc for 9 cycles. I know, I know ppl keep telling me that it's not that long and that I need to be patient. Thing is, I have been patient. I was ready for this at least ten yrs ago but I was still in school, unmarried and living at home, so I waited. Well I've been married for 3 yrs and I have the job and the house, I'm ready. So where are u? Every month I wait and hope And pray. Every month I think "this could be it" only to be crushed the moment the bleeding arrives.

Friends and family are being supportive but seriously, I'm trying and when it happens I will let u know. Trust me, I won't be able o contain myself. My in-laws make little suggestions like try harder, if I tried any harder I'd be starting fires from all the friction in my V! En plus, I work with new moms and bbs everyday of the week. After 90% of the visits, while it may have gone well, I just want to sob. They ask do u have kids? And I cringe. I just want it to happen, soon pls.
I'm a good person, I help others, I volunteer and everything. What's wrong with me that I can't get pregnant?

 

[mapletulip]

Warning: massive whiny vent coming up.

Well...the most depressing time of the month is here! 11DPO and got a BFN this morning. Can vaguely feel my body ramping up for the witch to come. And then my mom (who I love, we have a great bond) tells me ANOTHER story of a couple who either adopted/went to fertility clinic/gave up or went on a vacation and POOF! they got pregnant.

Seriously. I don't stress that much. I swear. What I stress about is everyone else around me getting pregnant with no issues while I am super regular, I ovulate every month on day 14, we BD at the right times...then why the &!%! is it not working?! And I am feeling increasingly isolated, when you are 31 and not a mom, good luck connecting with other women who can only talk about babies, pregnancies, kids, schools, breastfeeding....I feel left out, I just want a baby and I really don't want any more advice on what to do from women who fell pregnant within 3 months tops.

I never thought this would be me. I never thought this would even be an option....to not easily conceive.

I hate 11 DPO. I hate getting my hopes up everytime I dip that stick in that pee-cup. I hate getting shivers and cramps to remind me that the witch is coming. I hate that my best friend who couldn't wait to start trying when she found out we had been trying for a while is having a baby within two weeks. I hate that I can't control this. I hate dreading to see a fertility specialist because of what might come to the surface and what that will do in our marriage. I hate the fear that is so overwhelming sometimes that we'll never be able to have kids of our own. I hate reading about parents who leave their kids in hot cars or murder them or neglect them. I hate that we may have to spend thousands on treatments or adoption when others just pop babies out like it's nothing.

I feel defeated and sad today. I just have to hand this one over to God. I can't get let this overwhelm me and take over my life. But boy...there are days where I just want to cry in bed all day.

 

[nic18]

af shown up early once again. die.

 

[VP1228]

I need a new body with great abs, perfect uterus, and ovaries that even celebs don't have. Oh well I can get the great abs just not the other stuff

 

[MrsLemon]

hate people telling me i shouldn't be trying for a family at my age ... (im 22..MRlemon is 28) and that we should hold off a few years....without me even mentioning that were trying...
Im deputy manager in a pre-school husbands an engineer, were ready for this next step grrrrrrr i want to shout..
NO JUST MIND YOUR OWN BUISNES!!!!

 

[Nicolefunnell]

hate people telling me i shouldn't be trying for a family at my age ... (im 22..MRlemon is 28) and that we should hold off a few years....without me even mentioning that were trying...
Im deputy manager in a pre-school husbands an engineer, were ready for this next step grrrrrrr i want to shout..
NO JUST MIND YOUR OWN BUISNES!!!!

No one should tell you when you should have a baby. It's not their business.

 

[wynter514]

hate people telling me i shouldn't be trying for a family at my age ... (im 22..MRlemon is 28) and that we should hold off a few years....without me even mentioning that were trying...
Im deputy manager in a pre-school husbands an engineer, were ready for this next step grrrrrrr i want to shout..
NO JUST MIND YOUR OWN BUISNES!!!!

That is so frustrating, isn't it? I am 21 and DH is 26 and although no one around me and DH knows we are ttc I constantly am hearing "You guys should never have kids. They are such a hassle." and I just want to yell at them. I have been married for two years, own my home, and we both have stable jobs yet I still feel like I would be scrutinized for ttc just from the remarks people make not even realizing that we are. Why is it such a big deal? I realize that my twenties will be fun and that is why I want to share them with my child. Like you said, people should mind their own business. If we needed your opinions, we would have asked for them before we decided to ttc.

 

[Bordeaux]

I am sure that it feels like everyone around me is pregnant! Every time I ask them did it take you long or did you have any problems we get no happened straight away grrrrr

 

[VP1228]

Everyone keeps saying DF and I should adopt, but no one actually told us it costs thousands of dollars to do that. I could do IVF or adopt since they both cost around the same price. I wish I could win the lottery so I could have a baby or babies soon instead of later. My friends keep asking why am I not pregnant yet, I can't tell them that I can't get pregnant because they will only ask more questions and I want to keep the matter as private as possible.

 

[Limm]

Watching the news yesterday and they are complaining about too many people in the UK having babies.
Watching the news right now and they are soon to find out if a panda in Edinburgh is pregnant.

Great - so the media is telling me that everyone and a panda is getting pregnant.

Also, here are some of the genuine tips/tricks I've been recently advised to do in order to conceive a child:
- Drink a lot of Jack Daniels
- Drink a lot of Jägermeister.
- Have sex all the time.
- Stop trying.
- Don't think about it so much.
- Try doggy.
- Keep going.
- Keep him in afterwards (not the house, if you get what I mean.)

 

[VP1228]

Watching the news yesterday and they are complaining about too many people in the UK having babies.
Watching the news right now and they are soon to find out if a panda in Edinburgh is pregnant.

Great - so the media is telling me that everyone and a panda is getting pregnant.

Also, here are some of the genuine tips/tricks I've been recently advised to do in order to conceive a child:
- Drink a lot of Jack Daniels
- Drink a lot of Jägermeister.
- Have sex all the time.
- Stop trying.
- Don't think about it so much.
- Try doggy.
- Keep going.
- Keep him in afterwards (not the house, if you get what I mean.)

Lol so drinking lots of beer is going to get everything in working order during ovulation to get pregnant? I have heard people say the keep him in thing but not drink lots of beer lol. That is outrageous in so many ways.

 

[nic18]

hate people telling me i shouldn't be trying for a family at my age ... (im 22..MRlemon is 28) and that we should hold off a few years....without me even mentioning that were trying...
Im deputy manager in a pre-school husbands an engineer, were ready for this next step grrrrrrr i want to shout..
NO JUST MIND YOUR OWN BUISNES!!!!

I get this constantly to !
I know what age I am, I know what I want. fuck off.

 

[LoveCakes]

I love having here to be angry. I feel like when I talk to people they try to calm me down or inadvertently make me feel guilty about being angry (mum). It's a normal reaction. One friend though is fab and she has just agreed it's crap and not told me how to feel.