Trying To Conceive #1 Only Vent Thread

[Lazydaisys]

I equally hate seeing ex boyfriends with their babies! Facebook and very much in real life. X

 

[ashntony]

Why can't I get pregnant?!?!

 

[VP1228]

I just want to have a baby and live my dream of being a mother. Why am I infertile????

 

[tamithomas]

I equally hate seeing ex boyfriends with their babies! Facebook and very much in real life. X

Or to top it off in my case: My ex boyfriend is now my step brother so I'm stuck seeing their kid at family reunions weather I like it or not. Even though his girlfriend tricked him into getting her pregnant despite that they were still living at my my mom and step dads apartment. Her family praises her for getting pregnant but every sane person around her including my mom wanted to bitch slap her for being so irresponsible and selfish. Her family are hyper Christians hence why they were so ignorant to her mistake because to them a baby could be born to a crack prostitute and still be a miracle. They're those type. She knew she had stopped taking bc yet never told my step brother.

 

[tamithomas]

I'm disgusted right now. There's a youtuber that I can't stand because they're terrible parents. The type that deny their baby feeding for waking up late. They're bfp..AGAIN, 2 under 2. So not flipping fair. Why are idiots allowed to breed so easily?

 

[hopeful12be]

Tired of people asking when are you and your dh having kids. I'm Trying have been for 2 years! then the one family member who thinks I need to wait till i'm 30 I will say when i want a kid i'm not going to stop trying just to please you! and to my sister stop telling me you might be pregnant again when you don't take very good care of the two kids you have!!!!! tired of seeing people on the news and online who treat their kids like garbage when there are people out here who can't have one and would be happy to have the child you can't stand! and would give them the world! unappreciative buttholes!

 

[ashntony]

Please I have tried everything. I am begging. I just want to get a BFP. Well here is to no soda and to starting Fertilaid. I am ready for this.

 

[Dutchiekins]

Well I post off and on on these forums here and there when I have questions or answers... but I come and go because I will spend all day and night on here reading everything and making myself crazy. But I need to word vomit all over the place....

I have been trying over a freaking year now!!!!... we have our first specialist appt this month and I am terrified. I read bad reviews about him but I've waited for 3 months and anywhere else would have had to wait double the time. I am taking Vitex with no luck except that my face is clearer, I am healthy... My periods are pretty much regular and my husband and me bd all the time. I am getting SO SAD AND FRUSTRATED. Today I cried and cried and cried. My husband is probably going insane too because Im such a basket case. My sister in law got pregnant on her first try with her second and I am trying to be supportive of her but its hurting me like crazy. And I have to throw my cousin a baby shower this year also.
Everyone is getting pregnant around me EVERYONE. When the hell is it my turn!?!?!?!?!?!
Every time I talk to anyone a little about it they say don't rush... dont worry... just relax. WTF... SHUT UP PEOPLE!!!!
You have no idea what it is like to sit there every month wondering when or if you will ever be able to have a baby. Wondering why your body is not working. Wondering whats wrong with you. Its like Mourning again and again and again.
Not to mention fretting over symptoms, convincing myself every single month that maybe this is it but at the same time always having a fear to let myself relax and get my hopes too high.
I have never even seen two lines on a stupid test
Ugh...
Word vomit.
I just feel so done.
Of all the crappy moments Ive had in life, bad bf's, being cheated one, loosing someone... ect ect. THIS is by far - the hardest thing I have ever gone through.

And I commend all the girls that go through this, and stand and smile to everyone arround them like nothing is wrong when inside they are being torn apart piece by piece.
Every day.

thankyou for hearing me vent.

 

[tamithomas]

Only 9dpo yet tasting metal despite brushing my teeth. Body, stop teasing me like this! So not cool.

 

[mapletulip]

Well I post off and on on these forums here and there when I have questions or answers... but I come and go because I will spend all day and night on here reading everything and making myself crazy. But I need to word vomit all over the place....

I have been trying over a freaking year now!!!!... we have our first specialist appt this month and I am terrified. I read bad reviews about him but I've waited for 3 months and anywhere else would have had to wait double the time. I am taking Vitex with no luck except that my face is clearer, I am healthy... My periods are pretty much regular and my husband and me bd all the time. I am getting SO SAD AND FRUSTRATED. Today I cried and cried and cried. My husband is probably going insane too because Im such a basket case. My sister in law got pregnant on her first try with her second and I am trying to be supportive of her but its hurting me like crazy. And I have to throw my cousin a baby shower this year also.
Everyone is getting pregnant around me EVERYONE. When the hell is it my turn!?!?!?!?!?!
Every time I talk to anyone a little about it they say don't rush... dont worry... just relax. WTF... SHUT UP PEOPLE!!!!
You have no idea what it is like to sit there every month wondering when or if you will ever be able to have a baby. Wondering why your body is not working. Wondering whats wrong with you. Its like Mourning again and again and again.
Not to mention fretting over symptoms, convincing myself every single month that maybe this is it but at the same time always having a fear to let myself relax and get my hopes too high.
I have never even seen two lines on a stupid test
Ugh...
Word vomit.
I just feel so done.
Of all the crappy moments Ive had in life, bad bf's, being cheated one, loosing someone... ect ect. THIS is by far - the hardest thing I have ever gone through.

And I commend all the girls that go through this, and stand and smile to everyone arround them like nothing is wrong when inside they are being torn apart piece by piece.
Every day.

thankyou for hearing me vent.

Hugs for you. I know exactly how you feel. We'll all get through this, we WILL be moms one day. We just have to believe it.
It's insane, these women who conceive within one or two cycles...I have no idea how that happens. Hopefully your specialist will be helpful. It's hard not to look around and compare ourselves to others....I wish I was better at it. My best friend reacted shocked and almost appalled when I told her we were ttc...then we stopped for a few months so I could attend her wedding oversees and then apparently she couldn't wait to get pregnant. She conceived in month 2 and is having her baby within the next 10 days. It chokes me up that she conceived in no time and now I am feeling left out....we definitely are growing apart because she feels some sort of guilt and I have to draw tremendous strength everytime we talk about the baby or I send a package with gifts.

It just sucks. And you ladies are the only ones who really get it. The moms out there with all their good advice on how to conceive (when they often don't even know basic things about fertility) just don't get it. Just come here, vent, have a good cry....it's all part of getting through this. I now have a rule, every month AF shows up, I spend the first few days drinking wine, having deli meat and sushi and I get to buy one piece of new clothing. Sure, it sounds superficial and I'd rather be pg, but I find those little indulgences nice to get my mind refocussed. Then by cycle day 4-5 I build up new hope for the next cycle.

It's not a journey I wish on anyone, but we will come out more refined and stronger than women who just get babies handed to them on a golden platter.

ps. ru Dutch? Just looking at your name. I am, but live in N-America now.

 

[mapletulip]

Only 9dpo yet tasting metal despite brushing my teeth. Body, stop teasing me like this! So not cool.

I now even have symptoms during af! I bet when we finally are pg, we will feel no symptoms at all!

 

[Jett55]

A friend of mine who's pg just told me bein pregnant sucks.. seriously started crying because I'd do anything to have that

 

[tamithomas]

Only 9dpo yet tasting metal despite brushing my teeth. Body, stop teasing me like this! So not cool.

I now even have symptoms during af! I bet when we finally are pg, we will feel no symptoms at all!

lol, told DH about the metal taste in mouth and he's lost for words. Had him check inside my mouth and zero bleeding in the gums or any such. As per usual, I'm classifying this as false hope symptom. I've done everything: drink tea, brush my teeth, eat hamburger..nothing wants to wash that taste out. I feel like I'm sucking on a nickle.

 

[Lazydaisys]

Ha ha I was coming on here to vent that I have all the symptoms of bfp as per usual before bfn next week! Ooooooh metal taste!!!!!! I hope so much this could be a real good sign for you tami x

 

[Dutchiekins]

Hey Mapletulip, thanks for your words I really appreciate it!!! Like you have no idea... haha
I'm not Dutch but my Husband is, we are Dairy farmer's so I've really found myself in the middle of full on dutch culture- I love it and embrace it. We are in Canada.

I'm trying to refocus, and just be patient and trust that it will happen. But man. Im going to see a Hollistic practioner tomorrow just to see another viewpoint before I go to my specialist appt. So maybe she will set my mind at ease.
Thankyou!

 

[Limm]

Before TTC, my AF was never a problem (okay, a bit odd but never a problem.)
The moment we start trying, it is like my body decided to go against me.
Despite it being my brain and my brain being in charge, my body seems to be doing it's own thing.

 

[tamithomas]

Oh great, my mom decided it was vacation time which is awesome, loving that as we live 6 hours apart from each other. I knew she would come to visit, that's awesome too. Until she told me that she's coming from the 19th to the 22nd. Right when af is due-ish. Well actually af is due 23-25 but with AF you never know it's always a gamble that it could be a few days early or late. This should be fun lol. Will try not to think about it but can't help it haha.

 

[tamithomas]

Oh dear ladies, I'm in absolute tears over this. It actually happened.. I never thought people like this existed. I just got told to not talk about my IF and that it didn't belong as a topic and not to be so sensitive because she was gossiping about someone saying "I hope infertility strikes them" and laughed it off. Granted the person she was gossiping about is not the best of parents, I got overly pissed when she hoped for such a disasterous thing telling her the true feelings involved and yet I was the bad person apparently.

This, THIS is why IF is so isolating!!!!!!! Needless to say I dumped that friend faster than you can say buh-bye.

 

[hopeful12be]

well the made her appearance 4 days early and all i can say is . i'm so tired of crying every month and seeing all i want is just one just one thats all i ask!!!!!

 

[AlyCon]

So sorry you had to go through that Tami! If anyone ever said that to me I'd be in jail for assault. Situations like that really highlight the ignorance and insensitivity a lot of people have about IF.