Trying To Conceive #1 Only Vent Thread

[Kallie3000]

Wow, wow, wow..on a blog not related to BnB I just read someone call LTTC'ers "fertility psycho's". I can't gather the words of how much this ignorance enrages me. To boot, the person who called LTTC'ers such a disgusting name has a picture of him,2 kids and his wife.

There are a lot of people in the world who seem to have a medical inability to put themselves in other people's shoes. Hurtful, short-sighted, but luckily no one that I am friends with.

I have heard this 'crazy lady' meme repeated so often, people actually must be believing it. Its applied to feminism, fertility, motherhood, girlfriends, and 'crazy cat ladies'. Really misogynistic, disgusting, and unfeeling.

 

[madtowngirl]

^Took the words right out of my mouth. I'm not sure how I missed that comment, but tami, I hope you put the blogger in their place. It must be nice to be able to look down your nose at everyone who hasn't had a baby handed to them on a silver platter.

 

[bevy71]

Ive been TTC for past year. Dr taken blood yesterday to check hormone levels and that I am ovulating. Had countless BFN and now Im waiting till end of month to see if AF comes as my breasts have been sore for the past week and not due till 23rd april?

 

[tamithomas]

Sorry for not responding earlier, took a break from BnB. I decided to just let the hermit dwell in their misery as it's a known fact there's always going to be douches out there lol.

Oh joy, a bfp announcement from a person that has zero maternal instinct but everyone is congratulating her like as if she'd been ttc for years. FML.

 

[DBZ34]

I'm usually not so judgmental because I know that LTTTC such a hard thing to struggle with, whether you're on your first baby or your second, or third or whatever and I have BnB friends with who are TTC #2 or more, so I do understand...

But it's starting to rub me the wrong way when some women who already have a baby come into some of the TTC #1 threads I'm on and say things that aren't at all relevant to the conversation and have nothing to do with the question asked and are basically using it as an excuse to talk about their LO/pregnancy with their LO. If you're contributing to the conversation with information that could be helpful, fine. I like to hear from people who have been there before. If you just want to have a moan about the age gap between your LOs, please just go.

 

[mrsclt]

I can relate on some level. I'm the only girl in my fam, and my cousin has been told she probably wont have babies, so I dont have to deal with that. But DH has made me wait 7 years before finally relenting and saying we could try. Not that he seems to have much interest in trying. Been four months since I said no more BC, and nothing. Except alot of pms symptoms I never ever had before which drives me batshit crazy for the tww. And to those at work - if you ask and I say no not pregnant, please dont ask again less than a week later. With cycles varying 26 to 41 days, not bloody likely its gonna change that quickly

 

[ashntony]

So this isn't an angry vent... Mostly just sad.... This gal I work with who is 35 had her tubes tied ten years ago after her third child due to the fact she couldn't afford any more. I love her to death and she's one of the most respected people at my job. (I do not care for 85% of my coworkers.) Well, 2 weeks ago she called me to come in and cover her shift for her because she couldn't stop throwing up. 2 months straight she had some major congestion and back pains. Well, when I went into work for her I made a joke saying "You're pregnant!" She said no I was fixed.... Well, I told her how there is a small chance that she could still get pregnant. Slim but all the same a chance. She disappeared for about a week. I was worried about her because it's not like her.... I asked her step son where she was at and he said "well she had to take a leave. You will find out soon enough what's going on...." I said, "She is what I think she is isn't she?" He freaked and asked me not to say anything and I didn't... She is 4.5 months pregnant and didn't know it!! She said she broke down because she doesn't know what to do... I told her to keep her head up because she wouldn't have been granted another one if god didn't think she was capable! She is an amazing person and mother and even though I wish I was in her shoes I am not jealous.... Is it because I actually really like and respect her that is making me not be mad? I just wish her the best and told her if she needs anything I am here for her! I guess I can kinda understand where she is coming from. it's not like she has 5 different men or uses drugs. She is happily married with a very stable job... Hmmm maybe the baby fever is finally starting to wear down?

 

[Yammas]

It could be because you know her so well or the fact that finding out your 4.5 months gone isnt easy I dont know how Id feel and I want a baby! Most of the times I felt jealous was when it was easy for other ppl. I dont feel that way very often anymore which is lucky as pregnant women seem to be everywhere I just look think how lucky they are and move on so at least for me baby fever has calmed down too.

 

[tamithomas]

Reading about everyone's kids reactions this morning and find myself conflicted by my reaction. Only a small amount was towards jealousy but the rest was just neutral. I didn't feel joy nor did I feel anger/jealousy that I usually get.

Wondering if it's just my brain that's starting to accept that it may never happen or if I'm so beyond fed up that I've run into an emotional wall where it's my mental self defence. time for some Nutella and Espresso as comfort food.

 

[DBZ34]

Maybe after you TTC for long enough, you just become numb to it all. I'm definitely at that point now and have been for a while. Announcements used to be painful, but now I'm just kind of...unmoved by it all. I can't even be bothered to be jealous at the moment. I don't know what that says about my mental state. Maybe it's just habituation (when the brain/body stops responding to certain stimuli after repeated presentations). Maybe after so many years, my brain is just fed up of always getting upset by scan pictures and announcements and has gone on strike.

 

[ashntony]

So here I am almost 2 weeks late.... I haven't spotted once this cycle and now my nipple is itching like crazy..... Stomach has been quezy this month but I relate that to my prednisone.....

 

[tamithomas]

To everyone judging in the comment section in the article, I secretly wish they all deal with infertility in their life. Even if it's just for a year. We can't even post on these boards without being judged. wtf. This is our safe haven and they come to spy/judge us? I thought we had grown into a society that was more understanding of infertility but I guess not. Le sigh.

https://abcnews.go.com/Lifestyle/pee-parties-latest-baby-making-trend/story?id=23375549

 

[VP1228]

To my friends that have babies...you guys suck...I still love them but it hurts so much to know that I have to struggle just to try to have my own baby...infertile at 23 is not how I thought my life would be...and that sucks people judge us because we are infertile such jackazzes

 

[Kallie3000]

Coworker said this today: "Never have children, they are so much trouble"

Thanks. Don't wish that on me, please and thank you.

 

[MG1]

Hi all. New to this. We've been try #1 since jan '13 with no luck at all. Feeling very discouraged. I have an appt next month to talk to my dr about testing/swing a specialist but in the mean time just waiting it out. Was very hopeful this might be our month but got af on Wednesday.

 

[MD2004]

So My husband and I have been basically TTC for 9 years we full on tried for the first 3 years then just threw out the temps and tests just hoped it would happen. in that time my sister had 2 kids just by "wanting" them and most recently my BIL and his wife just had their first after trying for only a few months - Now they feel they can give us advice on how to get Preg. - thats not even the topper
Well turns out my sister recently "decided to get married" with only a few months to prepare she is getting married in Sept we just found out the beginning of April - She knows we started the fertility treatments and that this is our last hope. Well she has been on my case to get fitted for the bridesmaid dress (which is a short ruffled strapless Dress) I am already on the heavy side with a big chest so if we hopefully do get preg in the next few months I will not be able to wear this dress. I told her I want to wait until I'm done with this round of Clomid to get fitted since I would be a completely different size between now and then. She pressed it so bad I just said I didn't want to be in the wedding. I understand its her wedding and its her way - For mine i let her wear one of my dresses had now mine was small and private and hers is much larger but I feel like I don't want to pay $200 for a dress I wont be able to wear. I just feel horrible but also I feel I have a right to be selfish since to me this is more important because I have waited so long for this. She can easily get preg while I have to struggle and she just doesn't understand.

 

[MD2004]

Coworker said this today: "Never have children, they are so much trouble"

Thanks. Don't wish that on me, please and thank you.

These people always frustrate me too they don't understand what it's like to actually want a baby it's easy for them so they don't understand the struggle the rest of us have. They don't understand that what they have is what we wish for every day.

 

[ForbearingLuv]

I feel like for the life of me I can't get pregnant...
Ran Into an old friend who recently had her first baby and I said how cute her son was and her reply "now don't go getting baby fever" when my husband and I have been trying for our first for a year and 5 months now...
She doesn't personally know that but it killed me inside and my jaw just dropped and I just glared at my husband...
Fml....

 

[MD2004]

To everyone judging in the comment section in the article, I secretly wish they all deal with infertility in their life. Even if it's just for a year. We can't even post on these boards without being judged. wtf. This is our safe haven and they come to spy/judge us? I thought we had grown into a society that was more understanding of infertility but I guess not. Le sigh.

abcnews/Lifestyle/pee-parties-latest-baby-making-trend

I just read this article and it really makes me angry. Seriously there are so many other issues out there to write about LIKE starving children, politics or a tree falling down....why judge us for finding support? Would they rather us hide in our bathrooms and cry by ourselves? Those are people who just "decide" to get pregnant and *poof* pregnant! They will never understand.

It makes me angry when people say "oh yea we want to wait until we have been married a year or two and then we want to get pregnant in March so we can have a December baby.." I always want to slap them and say "yea it would be nice to just choose when to get pregnant"

 

[DBZ34]

Oh, I had a friend like that. The kicker was, she did! She got pregnant exactly when she planned to, which then skewed my perception of TTC. I thought I would stop birth control, try in september-october and have a June/July baby, just in time for the end of the school year. Yeah...that plan didn't work out for me. And now my friend is on three kids and I'm still TTC #1. *sigh*