Trying To Conceive #1 Only Vent Thread

[zoeh]

My progesterone level was 5.3 at what the doctor "thinks" was 6dpo (on a highly medicated cycle; both Femara and Prometrium), and I am kicking myself for a) not getting upset when they told me a trigger shot "wouldn't be necessary," and b) not at least insisting on an ultrasound a few days later to see if the follicle was still there. My RE tells me that 5.3 means I "definitely" ovulated, but I feel like they're just saying things to mollify their patients at this point because he's leaving his practice at the end of the month. They also told me to use an HPT Friday morning and call to tell them the result so they can decide whether to continue Prometrium, and when I kept asking whether a blood test might be more accurate to determine that before a period would be due, they'd just say, "Oh, no, an HPT would definitely be positive by then." I know it is for many women, but that doesn't mean all. Ugh.

 

[HelloBaby31]

DBZ34 I totally understand your pain!! I recently found out my sister-in-law is expecting #1 and she's 40!! I know getting preg at 40 isn't impossible, but I'm 32 and it's taking me longer than I expected. I am very happy for them, but devastated that it wasn't us. It doesn't help now that she thinks she's the queen of getting pregnant and is giving me unsolicited advice. She claims that she got pregnant on the first try...but from what she's been telling my mother-in-law it's not true!

So frustrated and tomorrow is our 4 year anniversary. I am supposed to get my period tomorrow, but have been hoping and praying that I will get my BFP instead! What a great anniversary gift THAT would be!!

Anyway, hope you're feeling better. We will get our BFP one day

 

[sr86]

Hi, this is my first post on any site. I have been stalking any site that was relevant to my pain at the time. I have been ttc for 10 months now and BFN!!!! I am totalling frustrated and fed up and I feel like i just want to give up. I know that there are women out there that have been ttc for years now and me saying it after 10 months seems like a drop in the ocean, but i am fed up and have tried to think that this is not going to happen for me.

i say that because I got pregnant totally by accident by the rebound guy after three weeks, post an 8 year relationship I felt that I was too young, at uni and decided that it wasn't the right time. This was only 2 years ago!!! Now my situation has changed. I'm with someone who I love, I'm getting married and I want my baby.

I can't help thinking that it is my fault and that I wrote my future when i decided that that pregnancy wasn't the right time. I did this to myself. Perhaps that was the only time that i was going to be given the chance to conceive. I'm hurt and emotional and I hate myself for this whole thing. Also I had the copper coil in for about two weeks post the whole ordeal and it was painful and i had it removed.

I know that I have probably hurt some peoples feelings with my story and yeah, I probably do have to live with the consequences but I feel terrible and I think i took my fertility for granted. And may have ruined it with the termination and the coil.

But how do I cope with that??

I know that 85% of couples take 12 months to conceive and 95% of couples take 24 months. But I am distressed. And all my respect goes out to those women who haven't given up after years of trying. You are amazing and I really do look up to you. I pray that you do fall pregnant in the near future.

SR86 x

 

[Kallie3000]

Hi, this is my first post on any site. I have been stalking any site that was relevant to my pain at the time. I have been ttc for 10 months now and BFN!!!! I am totalling frustrated and fed up and I feel like i just want to give up. I know that there are women out there that have been ttc for years now and me saying it after 10 months seems like a drop in the ocean, but i am fed up and have tried to think that this is not going to happen for me.

i say that because I got pregnant totally by accident by the rebound guy after three weeks, post an 8 year relationship I felt that I was too young, at uni and decided that it wasn't the right time. This was only 2 years ago!!! Now my situation has changed. I'm with someone who I love, I'm getting married and I want my baby.

I can't help thinking that it is my fault and that I wrote my future when i decided that that pregnancy wasn't the right time. I did this to myself. Perhaps that was the only time that i was going to be given the chance to conceive. I'm hurt and emotional and I hate myself for this whole thing. Also I had the copper coil in for about two weeks post the whole ordeal and it was painful and i had it removed.

I know that I have probably hurt some peoples feelings with my story and yeah, I probably do have to live with the consequences but I feel terrible and I think i took my fertility for granted. And may have ruined it with the termination and the coil.

But how do I cope with that??

I know that 85% of couples take 12 months to conceive and 95% of couples take 24 months. But I am distressed. And all my respect goes out to those women who haven't given up after years of trying. You are amazing and I really do look up to you. I pray that you do fall pregnant in the near future.

SR86 x

Hey there -
I just wanted to say that I support you, and your feelings and fears are valid and worthwhile. I have been TTC for 16 cycles (just over a year, time-wise). The hardest cycles I had were cycle 9 and 10, because when you get to that point it really becomes real that you could have had a baby by now. At least, that's how I felt.

Try not to regret the past. You made choices that were right for you. You are not being punished, and nothing that happens from this point is your fault - just keep doing the best you can.

I recommend talking to a doctor. Because of your medical history, it is important to ensure that everything is okay, and that you are doing everything you can. Don't take flak from anyone, including medical professionals. We are women, and we deserve respect!

Private message me if you would like to chat further -

 

[bie_ejal]

hii..im new here..i dont know which threads to post..
i have been trying since 4 month ago..but no good news till this month..i keep vomiting but i had my period yesterday and its 2 days early than expected..but weirdly i dont have any symptoms for this time period..just like im not in period but i bleed..its not heavy but medium than my normal period..i just too frustrating and even talked to my husband last night,,..i cant stand seeing him so sad..i even cried to myself ..got no one to talk to coz family dont know we r trying..my twin pregnant soon after she get married ..thanks for listening

 

[Mairi]

My hubby and I have been ttc for 5 months. We've been having sex for a year though, so I should have conceived by now. I'm waiting for the results of bloodwork and an ultrasound I'm getting done on Monday, so they can hopefully diagnose me with PCOS. I'm pretty sure I have it, and want to do something about it.

While all this is going on, girls around me are getting pregnant at the drop of a hat, no effort at all. It's so frustrating! I'm trying hard not to be jealous, but I just end up being so, so sad that I don't have kids.

Ugh.

 

[Mairi]

Hey hun,

You're not being judged in any way. Keep trying! Please don't lose hope.

 

[Wishing_]

It has been months since I posted on this thread.

I'm getting so tired TTC. Everyone still seems to be getting pregnant with out trying. Two more of my friends are expecting. One recently had a baby. An old friends keeps saying I should have a baby but no one knows I've been trying for almost 2 years. My FSH results came out good. Dh semen analyze results haven't came in yet which is pissing me off.

I actually thought we did it last night because my boobs felt full and heavy, been nauseous all week, super tired, peeing a lot, cramping on only the right side, I was extremely tight the beginning of dtd and threw up a few times last night.

But nope the showed up when I thought about testing. I'm 2 days early!! It's light but not spotting light so maybe I still have a chance? I don't know..

I was hoping that my turn would come since two out of the three people I first talked to on this website received their weeks ago and are mothers by now...

I'm so sad I don't feel like doing my homework for school tomorrow (college). I don't think I even want to go but I know I have to. May god be with me though because I get bad cramps and I become really bitchy and mean.

I don't know what else to do or try. Preseed doesn't work and I don't like the way it feels. Besides I have NO trouble with lubrication. I been on the weight for a while so I know it's, probably, not that.

I feel so sad, depressed and angry. I want to do play dates, baby shopping, post millions of pictures and videos of my baby. Although it's never going to happen.

 

[MH5280]

Hi ladies, currently ttc#1
Hubby and I have been trying for 3 months now, woke up this morning, with no AF signs to date, wanted to test, BFN, and teeny tiny spot of pink when I wiped. I'm so furious and upset and just wonder WHY?! What more can we do?? We have ntnp in the past, and I'm worried. I know "healthy couples" can take 6+ months sometimes to conceive. I feel like I give up, I don't even want to try anymore cuz it's not gonna happen. But then I know going into a new cycle I'd be thinking of it and still do te things we need to do. This cycle we started using preseed, I will use it again. This was the 2nd month doing opk's. I don't know I really felt we had it this month. I just wanna lay in bed and sulk today.

 

[DBZ34]

Hi ladies, currently ttc#1
Hubby and I have been trying for 3 months now, woke up this morning, with no AF signs to date, wanted to test, BFN, and teeny tiny spot of pink when I wiped. I'm so furious and upset and just wonder WHY?! What more can we do?? We have ntnp in the past, and I'm worried. I know "healthy couples" can take 6+ months sometimes to conceive. I feel like I give up, I don't even want to try anymore cuz it's not gonna happen. But then I know going into a new cycle I'd be thinking of it and still do te things we need to do. This cycle we started using preseed, I will use it again. This was the 2nd month doing opk's. I don't know I really felt we had it this month. I just wanna lay in bed and sulk today.

If you give up, you really won't get pregnant because immaculate conception doesn't happen every day. So, keep going!

The thing about NTNP is that you could be BDing all you want, but you might not have been BDing at the right times for conception, because you weren't tracking ov or anything. So, I wouldn't count it. You've been TTC for 3 months and it can take a healthy couple up to a year to conceive. You're just getting to know your body and the more you know, the better chance you have.

I think we all hit those bumps in the TTC road. TTC is like a rolercoaster, there will be ups and downs and sometimes it will turn your world upside down. But, it's important to keep going, because like I said, if you give up, you really won't get pregnant. You can do it!

 

[1nceUponATime]

I think the most frustrating part of TTC is how I feel physically. Ever since I have gotten off of the pill, I feel tired, depressed, anxious, I think my hair is falling out, and I have had a bacterial infection that no matter how many times (3x so far) my doctor tries to treat it, it just wont go away! AF has failed to show for months now, despite my doctor attempting to treat it with Provera. . . I had an ultrasound, which looked "fine"...the only abnormal thing was my lining was extremely thin...and I have an appointment like every month with the GYN. Next appointment being tomorrow. I just want to physically and mentally feel better...she has not given me any hint of any kind of diagnosis...just secondary amenoreah. I knew going into TTC with DH that it was going to be a little difficult due to the fact that I've always had amenoreah (prior to BCP and now post BCP)...I was, of course, hoping that since I had been on the pill for 4-5ish years that maybe those issues had somehow resolved (clearly not!)....I want to feel better, and have AF show up so we can actually start TTC!

 

[Kallie3000]

I think the most frustrating part of TTC is how I feel physically. Ever since I have gotten off of the pill, I feel tired, depressed, anxious, I think my hair is falling out, and I have had a bacterial infection that no matter how many times (3x so far) my doctor tries to treat it, it just wont go away! AF has failed to show for months now, despite my doctor attempting to treat it with Provera. . . I had an ultrasound, which looked "fine"...the only abnormal thing was my lining was extremely thin...and I have an appointment like every month with the GYN. Next appointment being tomorrow. I just want to physically and mentally feel better...she has not given me any hint of any kind of diagnosis...just secondary amenoreah. I knew going into TTC with DH that it was going to be a little difficult due to the fact that I've always had amenoreah (prior to BCP and now post BCP)...I was, of course, hoping that since I had been on the pill for 4-5ish years that maybe those issues had somehow resolved (clearly not!)....I want to feel better, and have AF show up so we can actually start TTC!

That sounds exhausting and frustrating.

 

[Jamers89]

I'm sorry, but I desperately need to vent, and i don't know another place I can do it where people will understand.

DH and I have been trying for 10 months to get preggers. I have PCOS, and am finally getting treatment for it, which is helping. We're stuck in limbo right now (I'm 4 days late, BFNs on tests, no sign of AF, even though I confirmed ovulation this cycle).

My cousin has been dating this pothead loser for 2 months now. She comes to me yesterday, and rattles off a bunch of promising pregnancy symptoms. She's already planning how she is going to tell her family on her Thanksgiving placecards. She is about 100 pounds heavier than I am, but doesn't have PCOS or any other reproductive problems.

I am furious. How is it possible that SHE can be pregnant easier than I can. It is so unbelievably unfair!!!!! She doesn't even have her own place (she's living in the spare room of another couple that are expecting their baby in December). I don't know what I did to piss off the fertility Powers That Be, but I can't watch her be pregnant and have a baby and know that I probably never will. I know I've only been at it 10 months, but you ladies know that any amount of time or struggle makes it feel like a lifetime, or impossible. I am trying to mentally prepare myself for her announcement, but I don't think I'll be OK.

I hope DH is ready for me to bawl like the baby I might never have.

 

[Mairi]

@Jamers89: I'm sorry, I have no idea how to quote your post or tag you in mine, so I just hope you see this.

I know just how you feel - It makes me furious beyond words that people who *so* are not ready, or even cut out at all to be moms have babies popping out all over the place, and women like us have to wait on the sidelines and watch. It's not fair. And on top of the jealousy we've got this awful, awful sorrow, knowing there's this place in our hearts that may never be filled.

I'm so, so sorry. If nothing else, please know you're not alone.

 

[Mairi]

So I broke and took a pregnancy test. I've spent the last 2 weeks trying to convince myself I'm not pregnant, but I guess all the "symptoms" made me believe otherwise. BFN. Of course. I'm so angry!! I went to the doctor this month honestly hoping there was something wrong that could be fixed only to be told that I seem to be in perfect working order. I'm so, so disappointed. Why can't I have a baby????

 

[Sam10]

My husband and I have officially hit 2 years TTC. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I give up. I'm just going to focus on myself for awhile and stop worrying about this. I was happy to finally get to a point where I stopped being hateful and negative about those who have been lucky enough to get pregnant. At least I got something out of trying.

 

[Mairi]

My husband and I have officially hit 2 years TTC. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I give up. I'm just going to focus on myself for awhile and stop worrying about this. I was happy to finally get to a point where I stopped being hateful and negative about those who have been lucky enough to get pregnant. At least I got something out of trying.

I'm trying to become less hateful of pregnant women... it's so hard. I would love to eventually be able to be genuinely happy for them.

 

[writingislove]

SCREW hypothyroidism. Never imagined anything was wrong with me--I have normal cycles and everything (I mean, cycles like clockwork) and suddenly I find out I have a TSH level of 14 (when it should be, like, ONE), and it's not only probably keeping me from getting pregnant but also complicates things one day if/when I get that BFP.

On that note, also screw Google. I'm guessing I'm not the only one constantly Googling things related to pregnancy and TTC? Because all it does is scare me into thinking I'll never get a BFP. *grrrrr* *sob*

 

[Mairi]

SCREW hypothyroidism. Never imagined anything was wrong with me--I have normal cycles and everything (I mean, cycles like clockwork) and suddenly I find out I have a TSH level of 14 (when it should be, like, ONE), and it's not only probably keeping me from getting pregnant but also complicates things one day if/when I get that BFP.

On that note, also screw Google. I'm guessing I'm not the only one constantly Googling things related to pregnancy and TTC? Because all it does is scare me into thinking I'll never get a BFP. *grrrrr* *sob*

Oh my heavens no, you're not the only one who does the googling thing! It's pretty much inescapable for me, starting the day after I ovulate. I psychoanalyze every little cramp and twitch, and then plug them into google with the inevitable result of being convinced I'm pregnant! Grrr. I know just how you feel.

 

[writingislove]

Oh my heavens no, you're not the only one who does the googling thing! It's pretty much inescapable for me, starting the day after I ovulate. I psychoanalyze every little cramp and twitch, and then plug them into google with the inevitable result of being convinced I'm pregnant! Grrr. I know just how you feel.

Lol, I was thinking just the other day what kind of strange looks I'd get if someone were to look at my search history. Glad I'm not alone.