Trying To Conceive #1 Only Vent Thread

[bluecardy]

Friends that live down the street from us have a Halloween party every year. On the Facebook invite a pregnant couple said they won't be able to make it bc she might pop that night, lol, and some bulls**t. So I still went. I'm currently back at my house while the party goes on bc guess who decided to show up with a "costume" of a bloody baby doll popping out of her abdomen? Ughhhhhhhhhh. Why????? I just found out a couple of days ago that my first ivf failed so I just wanted to get my mind off of it for a night. Instead I'm exiled by myself in house. I hate infertility

 

[Mairi]

I just got AF again... DH and I thought this might be our month, and my LP ran longer than it ever has. I'm so disappointed and angry!

 

[Lindsey322]

After TTC for 5 months with only 2 ovulation periods, I started Clomid a few weeks ago to help make things a bit more predictable. I have the good fortune of already being in with a fertility doctor because of my endomitriosis (stage 1, no biggie)

I've been taking progesterone suppositories for 10 days. I'm miserable! My husband says I'm mean, and I believe it! I am so moody and anxious that I'm loosing sleep...which just adds fuel to the fire. This is not me!

What makes me even more upset is knowing if we weren't successful, I just have do go on it again in two weeks or so. I wish there was another way. I think the emotional toll is that it might be for nothing this cycle. I did have a pin-prick of pink blood on my toilet tissue on day 5 after the trigger shot.

My doctor wants to test me tomorrow, but I'm going away, so I have to wait until Thursday. I'm OK with a BFN, because we can try again, but I don't want three or four more days of emotional hell! I did give myself a test today (which is silly, the doctor refused to test me today for a reason) and think I saw a shadow line. My husband didn't see it, so it might be in my head LoL

Just a vent about the necessary evil of progesterone. I actually woke up screaming one night, without knowing why. This is bizzare. I'm finding it touch because without the progesterone, I'd completely say these new mood swings were a good sign... but with all of the new hormones I've medically introduced myself to this cycle, who knows. I just want my happy self back again.

 

[Lindsey322]

Friends that live down the street from us have a Halloween party every year. On the Facebook invite a pregnant couple said they won't be able to make it bc she might pop that night, lol, and some bulls**t. So I still went. I'm currently back at my house while the party goes on bc guess who decided to show up with a "costume" of a bloody baby doll popping out of her abdomen? Ughhhhhhhhhh. Why????? I just found out a couple of days ago that my first ivf failed so I just wanted to get my mind off of it for a night. Instead I'm exiled by myself in house. I hate infertility

That is awful, how insensitive! I'm sorry that happened to you

 

[Egejm15]

Hi ladies! I am new at this and excited about it too! My fiance and i are TTC , obviously and this is our first try! So far, nothing! i am 12dpo today and i took a clear blue early weeks hpt and got a BFN. I took another one at 7dpo and got a BFN and on 9do and the same results! I have a daughter already and with her my boobs were very tender to the point i couldn't even wear a padded bra! I knew i was pregnant with her before my period came. This time i watched for every sign and hardly anything. I had cramps maybe 3-4dpo and back ache here and there and my cm has not been consistent. I have not had any implantation bleeding. Ive been sick since day 2-3po and my finance has had vomiting and major fatigue. I've had a little fatigue but nothing major. AF is supposed to arrive this friday.. However with hardly any symptoms and all these negatives i don't know if i am. I have never really been the type to monitor my period but i just started last month because of TTC. Pretty much I had some pains in my boobs here and there but nothing that is screaming pregnant! I woke up in the middle of the night to this strange feeling that was like "You're pregnant" as if something just started down there but no major symptoms. When i did get cramps it was way to early for my period to even come, and last night i had nausea. With my first pregnancy i had nausea 24/7 to the point i lost weight first and the doctor had me on meds and encouraged me to eat junk food lol. Ladies i will just be heart broken if i'm not..... Any have this same experience? im 21 and my fiance is 24, so we are both healthy.. just a little down and out due to all the negatives and no symptoms.. Sorry i am all over the place.

 

[laurac1988]

You won't know until your period shows up or you get a positive test.

If you're not this month, just regroup and try again.

 

[AlyCon]

Just saw my first "I'm EXPECTING!!... Christmas in 7 weeks lol" post of the season and I'm sure there will be more to come. As if this time of year wasn't hard enough, people have to go and make jokes like that to make it even harder. It almost seems crazy that I honestly thought I would be celebrating Christmas with my own little bundle of joy this year. But life had other plans.. Anyway I have a lot to be thankful for so I'm trying not to be sad even though this will for sure be my hardest Christmas ever. Praying for peace for myself and all of you wonderful ladies! and I hope the people in your lives have enough common sense not to post that ridiculous joke.

 

[bluecardy]

Thank you, Lindsey322.

To add to our already unfortunate luck, not only did we find out a few weeks ago that our first ivf failed, but a few days ago our house got broken into and I was robbed of some jewelry, my good makeup, and, of all things, some bras. And we have to replace two windows. This month has been terrible. I cannot imagine how it will feel if we find out another ivf didn't work right before Christmas.

 

[MrsG09]

Well it sounds like it's official. My baby brother (21 yrs old) is having a baby. With his girlfriend of 2 months. They say they're in love and getting married before the year is over. Said birth control failed. He's mad at my mom for her concern. Saying he won't attend family events anymore. Why is it so easy for 18 year olds with no job, money, or stability to get pregnant but I've worked so hard to do things right, & remained patient for the 2 years my DH wasn't ready to start trying. Not really a question, just a contemplation.

 

[akerouac]

I went off BC in January 2014. My cycles have been crazy with changing hormones. My DH and I were married in August but have been trying since January. I am tracking my mucus and such but each month my body sends me mixed signals. One month I will cramp and have tenderness and the next I will just be moody and cry at everything.

This forum has been a dream to read everyone's experiences! I know I am not the only one out there with symptoms like these

I ovulated around the 4th of this month and we BD'd the 3rd, 4th, 5th, and 7th so here is to hoping. I have had a twinge here and there the last couple of days, I have a very slight tenderness starting, and am tired. All of which could lead to AF, but hoping for a BFP.

How early is too early to test? I know they say as soon as 5 days prior, but are there any other signs or anything I could look for?

 

[akerouac]

I am doing a natural form of the hormond called progessence plus from young living. I too have been crazy and my poor DH has said the same thing about me being mean. It just comes out with no reason. I go from happy to hating the world in 2.5 second. I am hoping you get your BFP with your dr!! Good luck...shall we try to stay sane?

 

[TierraK]

I am so frustrated. I'm glad I found this thread...sounds like I'm not the only one frustrated. It seems like everybody around me is either pregnant or has just had a baby. It's amazing how hard I tried not to get pregnant at the beginning of our marridage only to find out how incredibly difficult it is for us!
I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong. We're following the "sperm meets egg" plan and have been for the past 3-4 months. I did have a chemical pregnancy, which gave me hope, but now I'm just irritated by it. I think I'm tracking my ovulation ok, but it's just not working. I've even sought out acupuncture treatment and they're sure they know the problem and can fix it soon. I'm really hopeful that it's as easy as that, but I have a bad feeling that it's something worse than that.

 

[bie_ejal]

i do my pregnancy test and i saw very faint double line..im not sure or my eyes playing trick to my heart...but if its yes..it will be the best bday give for me n my husband...we have been trying for so many month..i hope when i try again in few days i get the result

 

[NZKiwi]

I'm a nervous flyer and I went to the Uni doctor to get something to calm me down on my 12 hour flight coming up. She made me do all these blood tests and then phoned me that a blood result for my kidneys is high end of normal range and now she want's to do more tests. The thing is she never told me what I should do before the bloods and I did HIIT and weight training which can skewer the results. Odds are nothing is wrong but I'm a worrier (hello? Anxiety issues) I don't understand why the dr would add to my anxieties like this, it feels like she is looking for something and of course I'm going worst case scenario and actually had a panic attack, at work, so embarrassing, they tried to send me home. Of course it's in the normal range but I just, I don't even know, I see my baby hopes slipping away before me and the Dr has just added to my anxiety now, I'm getting married at the end of this week and going on Honeymoon, but now all I can think about is what the Dr is implying and I keep crying. I wish I had just tried breathing techniques to get over my fear of flying. I know I'm fit and healthy and no family history, I barely even get a cold, etc so its likely just a random test result because I exercised and didn't drink a lot before the test, but anxiety brain doesn't deal well with logic. I just want to smash my Dr in her smug over cautious face.

I keep feeling like the timing in my whole life is off, and now my body is going to turn against me and I won't be able to have a baby. Worse still an ex workmate at a place where I got bullied (manager used to throw things across the room and threatened me) who is such a wet noodle just had a baby and it just kills me that those genes are allowed to reproduce and I'm just a big ball of overthinking anxiety.

What did make me feel better is knowing that when I get back I'm getting a new doctor and taking things from there. I need a Dr I can trust, who explains things to me and is not alarmist

 

[AMP2012]

So I'm new to the site and seeing a venting thread made me very happy I have a beautiful 3 year old but I got remarried 2 years ago and me and my current husband are trying to have our first child together. This month is our 12th month of trying so I have hit the big 1 year mark. Since I've had my daughter I've had issues ovulating and cysts and all other kinds of problems but I have done every thing expensive ovulation prediction kits tracking bbt and cm for months now always do the deed at the right time and then some and nothing. Me and my husband decided when we started ttc that we wouldn't tell our family or even are friends we where going to start trying so every mother when aunt flow comes to visit and I am once again heart broken I have no one to turn to not one person I can vent to so I feel very alone is all this. And tonight 2 days early on my expected visit from aunt flow I notice a small tinge on spotting and knowing this is month 12 I have a break down I don't know what else to do I feel like it's my fault and my husband just keeps saying when it is meant to happen it will and I know other people must feel the same way that saying that doesn't help. And now that it's been a year I feel discouraged like I will never be able to get pregnant and it breaks my heart my daughter tells me all the time she was a sister or brother it's a daily thing and it hurts my heart that I haven't been able to give her one nor my husband a child of his own. (Though he looks at belle as his) I just don't know what to do anymore and I needed to vent to someone or something in hope that it will make me feel a little better about it being a year since this journey began since know one I know even knows what ongoing through and seeing all my friends pregnant I think a least 10 are right now make me envious which I don't want to be because I am extremely happy for them.... But I'll stop venting now hopefully this helps me sleep tonight and face tomorrow a little strong then I am tonight :/

 

[Mandaknyn]

I am so frustrated. I'm glad I found this thread...sounds like I'm not the only one frustrated. It seems like everybody around me is either pregnant or has just had a baby. It's amazing how hard I tried not to get pregnant at the beginning of our marridage only to find out how incredibly difficult it is for us!
I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong. We're following the "sperm meets egg" plan and have been for the past 3-4 months. I did have a chemical pregnancy, which gave me hope, but now I'm just irritated by it. I think I'm tracking my ovulation ok, but it's just not working. I've even sought out acupuncture treatment and they're sure they know the problem and can fix it soon. I'm really hopeful that it's as easy as that, but I have a bad feeling that it's something worse than that.

Everything u said is exactly how I feel.. I'm very happy for my friends falling pregnant but at the same time they feel awkward telling me the good news because they know I've been trying for 6 months and it was soo easy for them, or it was unplanned. Gee wizz.. Frustrated much?! I'm using a ovulation kit called "maybe baby" let's see if it is successful..
Good luck Hun!
Amanda x

 

[zoeh]

Well, I'm back to vent again. I caved and tested at 9dpo and got a VERY negative test. I'm trying to hold out hope that I just took it too early, especially because it wasn't an early response test. I'm 12dpo today, so AF should be due in two days on Monday, and I'm so, so, so tired of seeing negatives on everything for the past 15 months. At this point, I'd even like an evap line on something just to see that tests CAN have two lines and don't just have the one! I have what are probably normal PMS symptoms right now :-/. It gets harder to be optimistic with each passing month, but I'm really trying.

 

[ksquared726]

I'm at the end of my 3rd cycle TTC. Today is CD 46!! With my VERY LONG cycles, I have to wait such a long time to either ovulate, or to test, or to just hope that STUPID AF ARRIVES SO I CAN START A NEW CYCLE. UGH.

I know I'm not pregnant this cycle because I've had almost no symptoms in 2 weeks and it's been 3 weeks since ovulation day. I had a BFN on Friday. I even just said screw it and had a glass of wine and went in the jacuzzi yesterday. I was tired of eating good and not drinking when I knew I was not pregnant.

So I came here to vent about how AF is still not here and tomorrow will be tied for my longest cycle yet since TTC. And, I don't have much AF symptoms either. Please AF, just show your face!!

 

[Dreamer1227]

I'm new to this thread. So here it goes.... I have been ttc for about 2 years. We got discouraged the first year and gave up figured if it's ment to happen that it would. I have such irregular periods back in Sept I went to my Dr and started once again. Long story short I found out that I never ovulated . So now I'm on provera and was given clomid once I start my monthly. About to get my hubby tested again and see what is going on. I just want one bfp. And a healthy baby. All my friends r falling pregnant and I can't help but to feel jealous. I'm happy for them but get upset bc they are all just fertile mertiles.ugh

 

[HelloBaby31]

I was here last month about the same time and here I am again today - on my birthday of all days - and the stupid ugly witch gave me my monthly gift. So very kind of her.

So very depressing to be reminded that I am another year older AND not pregnant. Blah. Meanwhile, my sister-in-law is sending pics to the family of her ultrasound and having people guess if she's having a boy or a girl.

I'd like to crawl into a hole today.