Trying To Conceive #1 Only Vent Thread

[BlueWater]

So *someone* asked me "do you ever think you'll have babies" I was speechless
So she's getting married and then she's gonna start trying, while there's me who hasn't been on contraception for 2 years and I can't get pregnant

 

[rabbitheart]

So, I'm officially on CD 44 after my last AF, which I got immediately after stopping my last birth control pack. I'm never this late at all and have pretty regular periods, even before the pills. Luckily my gyno sent me a check up notice for Feb, so I may go as early as Jan and ask about this if it doesn't come soon or remains wonky. It's really frustrating. I felt that I had a lot of symptoms but I guess it was just coming off the pill. I took my last test Saturday morning and it was a BFN. This along with bad tooth pain from a filling have been really bumming me out.

I know I haven't been trying long and it's nothing compared to those who have but I have some PCOS symptoms and am just a little worried overall.

And of course to top it all off, my childhood neighbor/friend is now pregnant again 3 months after having a baby. She's in an unstable relationship, they have no money and two pitbull puppies. They're very immature and it's just not a great scenario.

It's just so frustrating that I was telling her how I thought I could be pregnant and she offhand mentions she might be too. I assumed she wasn't because she was breastfeeding but then I find out over instagram that she is. I wish she would've just told me. Maybe she was trying to be sensitive but it's hard to get a letdown like that (which was shockingly more painful than I anticipated) and then deal with someone else's luck, particularly when it's such a complicated situation for her. I do not take bringing life into the world lightly, I guess, so it frustrates me that people are so relaxed about it and don't take precautions of any kind when their situation is definitely not very suitable. It won't fix your marriage. I just hope that everything works out for them.

 

[BlueWater]

@rabbitheart

 

[zoeh]

I think others have probably brought this up here before, but I am having a hard time having sympathy for people who are worried about conceiving children after they've already had one or more. I understand that trying is stressful, and someone might be thrown off balance by not getting their ideally planned two children roughly x years apart, but life just isn't that well-ordered, and as we've been struggling so much just to conceive one, it's becoming more difficult to see others complaining about how difficult it is TTC#3 or similar. I feel like a horrible person whenever I encounter that, because I end up rolling my eyes and feeling like they should be grateful that they have ANY child at all. On the one hand, I think it's at least an understandable feeling, but on the other, I don't want to become a jaded, unsympathetic, bitter person through all this.

 

[Kallie3000]

Zoeh, life is pretty unfair. It is tough not to be bitter.

 

[zoeh]

Zoeh, life is pretty unfair. It is tough not to be bitter.

It is hard. The cycle of hope and disappointment can wear on your nerves after a while. I know it will all be worth it in the end; I just wish that end would come a bit sooner and or at least be more predictable!

 

[Kallie3000]

zoeh, life is pretty unfair. It is tough not to be bitter.

it is hard. The cycle of hope and disappointment can wear on your nerves after a while. I know it will all be worth it in the end; i just wish that end would come a bit sooner and or at least be more predictable!

ditto.

 

[heartbroken72]

I'm not sure this is how I post my vent. I'm new to this. My husband and I got married when I was 21 and he was 33. Since a month before we got married we started trying to have a baby.I thought it would be kind of simple. After 6 months of not getting pregnant I started to get disappointed. My husband said give it a year and if nothing by then, then we could go to the Dr. So when the year mark hit we still wasn't pregnant. At the time we didn't see a Dr because we had hit hard times and couldn't afford it. So we kept doing "it" ...we got back on our feet. We kept trying various things at home: both taking vitamins, calculating ovulation and body temp, keeping his parts at the right temp, different positions, legs up. Anything we could think of. After 2 years of trying and still not being pregnant I went to the Dr. He told me that my tubes could have blockage and that he would need to do a dye test to see for sure. Also he would check my husband but he already has a kid so the problem may just lie in me. I got all the info I needed to turn it into my insurance, they tell me they won't cover it. So the procedure would have to come out of pocket. Its a $3,000 test. And they have to have the money upfront. There is so way I can do that! That was 3 months ago. So its been 2 years and 3 months of trying and nothing. I'm starting...well been...really heartbroken! All 3 of my sister in laws have gotten pregnant last year, 2 of my cousins, and my best friend. It seems like everyone around me are having babies but me! There's several girls I know that can't take care of themselves much less a baby and their pregnant. One of my sister in laws was telling me one day that her and her husband tried for 3 months and they just didn't think it was going to happen, then she pops off and asks me when we plan on starting to have babies and I said we have been trying for 2 years...I had to go to the bathroom and cry! It hurts me so bad to see everyone around me getting to be pregnant and i don't. Yes I have a stepdaughter, but she's almost 15, and her mom only allows us to see her 2 months out of the whole year. And anyone with a stepchild knows its totally different then having your own. I want to experience being pregnant, all the ups and downs, the swollen ankles, the backaches, the morning sickness, seeing my baby on the ultrasound, hearing its heartbeat, giving birth, holding it for the first time, getting up in the middle of the night, the stinky diapers, EVERYTHING!!!! I want a baby more than anything! And all I hear is youre still young. Yeah that may be but being a mom is something I've always wanted! And to be trying over 2 years...and plus i should be more likely to get pregnant than my sister in laws cause I'm the youngest! One is 40, one is 32, and the other is 26. So idk. And I think Mother thing that hurts is my cousin just had a baby and my mom is constantly holding it and saying how she wants one and I'm like give me some time lol and she says no you don't need a baby, you better not have one and I mean it! And to me it hurts! I do good for myself! I don't work because my husband has a good job to where I don't have to. But until recently I had a job just because I felt like I needed to help even though I didn't have to have. But I mean I'd be a stay at home mom! I know how to take care of a baby! I babysat growing up and had teen parenting CLASSES in high school. But anyways it all just upsets me and idk how to handle it or what more I can do to get pregnant besides time! But it breaks my heart each month when I have to go buy tampons. I'm sorry for the book yall but I just needed to vent to someone else. I'm sure my husband is getting tired of it lol

 

[Kallie3000]

Heartbroken, I am so, so sorry. I have had my own rough road, but I can't even imagine not being able to get the testing I need because it isn't covered.

My rant was going to be about a strange man at the doctors office talking to me even though I was avoiding eye contact and playing on my phone, asking me a million questions, including asking me if I have kids.

But now I just want to give you a hug.

 

[pianokey]

Really something small compared to other's stories, but here goes:

We have been trying for a few cycles now, since August 2014, so not super long. However, I went off of b/c pills about a year prior and was just trying to avoid becoming pregnant by avoiding ovulation time as I had approximated when I thought it was.

So now I wonder if I can become pregnant? I hope so, and I will go for testing if nothing happens by August 2015, but that is a long time to wait.

Anyway, we were at my in-laws last night to watch a football game and filing taxes came up for some reason. My father-in-law then says "Oh well, I know what a great tax deduction would be. Are you having a baby this year?". I just made a joke about the cat being a tax deduction as they are dependent on us for their food and shelter. I know I am being overly sensitive, but it still hurt. My husband has said that his parents told him that they conceived him (my husband) on the very first try, so I don't think they understand the ongoing emotional turmoil of trying and no pregnancy happening.

So that is my little vent and hugs to all those who have much more to vent about.

 

[munchkinnn]

No one ever replies to my posts, and it hurts.

 

[MeWitOutU]

I know and that discourages me from posting '

 

[MeWitOutU]

Hi everyone I'm New to this first I wanna say congrats to.those that are expecting..now here's my hurt..my and my husband have been married for 6 years and we have been ttc it happened once and it ended at 3weeks right after that I found out that I have two fibroids in my uterus getting over that pain and.hurt. coming to.this pain as to where I had my last period in November on the 29 and before that period I experienced sore boobs non-stop up til now they Will never stop hurting and because of the fibroids I have the worst pain when my period comes so my period was 7 days late boobs still sore finally thinking this is the time and then my and my husband did the do and then out of no where there was blood but no cramps no warning just nothing I'm so crushed because everyone's asking when and what are we waiting on and it's like I have to just front like It don't hurt what am I to do

 

[DBZ34]

Hi everyone I'm New to this first I wanna say congrats to.those that are expecting..now here's my hurt..my and my husband have been married for 6 years and we have been ttc it happened once and it ended at 3weeks right after that I found out that I have two fibroids in my uterus getting over that pain and.hurt. coming to.this pain as to where I had my last period in November on the 29 and before that period I experienced sore boobs non-stop up til now they Will never stop hurting and because of the fibroids I have the worst pain when my period comes so my period was 7 days late boobs still sore finally thinking this is the time and then my and my husband did the do and then out of no where there was blood but no cramps no warning just nothing I'm so crushed because everyone's asking when and what are we waiting on and it's like I have to just front like It don't hurt what am I to do

I'm so sorry that your TTC journey has been so hard and I'm sorry for your loss.

It's always hard when people ask when you're having kids and you're trying. Sometimes I just want to yell when someone asks me...

But, I suppose we just have to keep going, because if we stop, we'll never get pregnant for sure. At least when we TTC, we have a chance.

 

[MeWitOutU]

Thanks yeah. That's. True sometimes I wanna break down.and cry

 

[Miaw]

No one ever replies to my posts, and it hurts.

Hi, I'm sorry no one replied to you

I don't know what you are referring to, but maybe we can help? There are a lot of people here who care.

I feel like we should all make an effort to not let a thread go with no answers at all, sometimes even if I can't answer a question I will still comment, just for support you know?

 

[Sam10]

I'm not sure this is how I post my vent. I'm new to this. My husband and I got married when I was 21 and he was 33. Since a month before we got married we started trying to have a baby.I thought it would be kind of simple. After 6 months of not getting pregnant I started to get disappointed. My husband said give it a year and if nothing by then, then we could go to the Dr. So when the year mark hit we still wasn't pregnant. At the time we didn't see a Dr because we had hit hard times and couldn't afford it. So we kept doing "it" ...we got back on our feet. We kept trying various things at home: both taking vitamins, calculating ovulation and body temp, keeping his parts at the right temp, different positions, legs up. Anything we could think of. After 2 years of trying and still not being pregnant I went to the Dr. He told me that my tubes could have blockage and that he would need to do a dye test to see for sure. Also he would check my husband but he already has a kid so the problem may just lie in me. I got all the info I needed to turn it into my insurance, they tell me they won't cover it. So the procedure would have to come out of pocket. Its a $3,000 test. And they have to have the money upfront. There is so way I can do that! That was 3 months ago. So its been 2 years and 3 months of trying and nothing. I'm starting...well been...really heartbroken! All 3 of my sister in laws have gotten pregnant last year, 2 of my cousins, and my best friend. It seems like everyone around me are having babies but me! There's several girls I know that can't take care of themselves much less a baby and their pregnant. One of my sister in laws was telling me one day that her and her husband tried for 3 months and they just didn't think it was going to happen, then she pops off and asks me when we plan on starting to have babies and I said we have been trying for 2 years...I had to go to the bathroom and cry! It hurts me so bad to see everyone around me getting to be pregnant and i don't. Yes I have a stepdaughter, but she's almost 15, and her mom only allows us to see her 2 months out of the whole year. And anyone with a stepchild knows its totally different then having your own. I want to experience being pregnant, all the ups and downs, the swollen ankles, the backaches, the morning sickness, seeing my baby on the ultrasound, hearing its heartbeat, giving birth, holding it for the first time, getting up in the middle of the night, the stinky diapers, EVERYTHING!!!! I want a baby more than anything! And all I hear is youre still young. Yeah that may be but being a mom is something I've always wanted! And to be trying over 2 years...and plus i should be more likely to get pregnant than my sister in laws cause I'm the youngest! One is 40, one is 32, and the other is 26. So idk. And I think Mother thing that hurts is my cousin just had a baby and my mom is constantly holding it and saying how she wants one and I'm like give me some time lol and she says no you don't need a baby, you better not have one and I mean it! And to me it hurts! I do good for myself! I don't work because my husband has a good job to where I don't have to. But until recently I had a job just because I felt like I needed to help even though I didn't have to have. But I mean I'd be a stay at home mom! I know how to take care of a baby! I babysat growing up and had teen parenting CLASSES in high school. But anyways it all just upsets me and idk how to handle it or what more I can do to get pregnant besides time! But it breaks my heart each month when I have to go buy tampons. I'm sorry for the book yall but I just needed to vent to someone else. I'm sure my husband is getting tired of it lol

You sound so much like myself. My husband and I have also been trying for over 2 years. I haven't really gotten much help from the doctor due to my insurance not covering stuff as well. It is absolutely heartbreaking to watch people around you get pregnant, have healthy babies and then casually ask you when YOU are going to have a child. I wish people would stop and think before asking that question. Especially if you know the person you're talking to is married. I feel like the majority of people who have been married/dating for years that don't have kids fall in that "nothing is working" category. It's all so tough and I hate it for myself and everyone else who has to go through it. It has led to me personally having horrible depression and anxiety. To the point I'm now in therapy. I'm trying to focus on losing weight (I have a good amount to lose) and hoping that weight loss will make things work right. But focusing on bettering myself hasn't made dealing with infertility any easier.

Also it makes me leave the forum when I see a bunch of women in this section that are pregnant. Sigh. Man that makes me sound like a bitch.

 

[Kallie3000]

Third pregnancy after two early miscarriages. Lots o spotting and cramping but HCG keeps going up, giving me hope.

Turns out to be ectopic. One emergency surgery and one less fallopian tube later, back at square zero.

I think my body is trolling me. So not cool body, so not cool.

 

[crr23]

I'm not sure this is how I post my vent. I'm new to this. My husband and I got married when I was 21 and he was 33. Since a month before we got married we started trying to have a baby.I thought it would be kind of simple. After 6 months of not getting pregnant I started to get disappointed. My husband said give it a year and if nothing by then, then we could go to the Dr. So when the year mark hit we still wasn't pregnant. At the time we didn't see a Dr because we had hit hard times and couldn't afford it. So we kept doing "it" ...we got back on our feet. We kept trying various things at home: both taking vitamins, calculating ovulation and body temp, keeping his parts at the right temp, different positions, legs up. Anything we could think of. After 2 years of trying and still not being pregnant I went to the Dr. He told me that my tubes could have blockage and that he would need to do a dye test to see for sure. Also he would check my husband but he already has a kid so the problem may just lie in me. I got all the info I needed to turn it into my insurance, they tell me they won't cover it. So the procedure would have to come out of pocket. Its a $3,000 test. And they have to have the money upfront. There is so way I can do that! That was 3 months ago. So its been 2 years and 3 months of trying and nothing. I'm starting...well been...really heartbroken! All 3 of my sister in laws have gotten pregnant last year, 2 of my cousins, and my best friend. It seems like everyone around me are having babies but me! There's several girls I know that can't take care of themselves much less a baby and their pregnant. One of my sister in laws was telling me one day that her and her husband tried for 3 months and they just didn't think it was going to happen, then she pops off and asks me when we plan on starting to have babies and I said we have been trying for 2 years...I had to go to the bathroom and cry! It hurts me so bad to see everyone around me getting to be pregnant and i don't. Yes I have a stepdaughter, but she's almost 15, and her mom only allows us to see her 2 months out of the whole year. And anyone with a stepchild knows its totally different then having your own. I want to experience being pregnant, all the ups and downs, the swollen ankles, the backaches, the morning sickness, seeing my baby on the ultrasound, hearing its heartbeat, giving birth, holding it for the first time, getting up in the middle of the night, the stinky diapers, EVERYTHING!!!! I want a baby more than anything! And all I hear is youre still young. Yeah that may be but being a mom is something I've always wanted! And to be trying over 2 years...and plus i should be more likely to get pregnant than my sister in laws cause I'm the youngest! One is 40, one is 32, and the other is 26. So idk. And I think Mother thing that hurts is my cousin just had a baby and my mom is constantly holding it and saying how she wants one and I'm like give me some time lol and she says no you don't need a baby, you better not have one and I mean it! And to me it hurts! I do good for myself! I don't work because my husband has a good job to where I don't have to. But until recently I had a job just because I felt like I needed to help even though I didn't have to have. But I mean I'd be a stay at home mom! I know how to take care of a baby! I babysat growing up and had teen parenting CLASSES in high school. But anyways it all just upsets me and idk how to handle it or what more I can do to get pregnant besides time! But it breaks my heart each month when I have to go buy tampons. I'm sorry for the book yall but I just needed to vent to someone else. I'm sure my husband is getting tired of it lol

You sound so much like myself. My husband and I have also been trying for over 2 years. I haven't really gotten much help from the doctor due to my insurance not covering stuff as well. It is absolutely heartbreaking to watch people around you get pregnant, have healthy babies and then casually ask you when YOU are going to have a child. I wish people would stop and think before asking that question. Especially if you know the person you're talking to is married. I feel like the majority of people who have been married/dating for years that don't have kids fall in that "nothing is working" category. It's all so tough and I hate it for myself and everyone else who has to go through it. It has led to me personally having horrible depression and anxiety. To the point I'm now in therapy. I'm trying to focus on losing weight (I have a good amount to lose) and hoping that weight loss will make things work right. But focusing on bettering myself hasn't made dealing with infertility any easier.

Also it makes me leave the forum when I see a bunch of women in this section that are pregnant. Sigh. Man that makes me sound like a bitch.

wow we have a lot in common. I'm a step parent TTC as well. Yes it is very different raising another's child. I feel like he's mine, he's 3 and I've been with his dad since he was 17 months old and we do have custody but even though I couldn't love him anymore if I was his biological mother, it still doesn't fill the void of wanting a child. Not that I would treat him differently when or if I do become pregnant I just want the experience! I know how it feels coming from a fertile family. My cousin just got married at the end of October and got her bfp Christmas day. I have been TTC for 8 months now its so hard not to be bitter.

 

[Missmetal]

No one ever replies to my posts, and it hurts.

I am new to this forum. Please don't stop posting. I will reply. And am here looking for support too.