Trying To Conceive #1 Only Vent Thread

[phillymomtobe]

Hi Everyone -

I am new to this forum, but I needed to find an outlet in the hopes that maybe someone can relate.

I have just turned 33 years old and my husband is 35. We have been TTC #1 for 9 months now. We are both healthy, active individuals with no health problems. Each month I track my ovulation, trying the week before and several days after.

It is devastating every month when I realize we haven't conceived. I thought I would be much more relaxed about this, but as time goes on, I am becoming more and more worried that there is something wrong.

What makes this even more frustrating is that my three best girlfriends all got pregnant "on accident." One got pregnant due to a incorrectly placed IUD, the other became pregnant when she went off the pill for a month while looking for another form of birth control, and the other conceived despite having sex less than twice a month with her husband and not trying to have children at the time.

I am struggling not to be bitter, but how is it that I have been doing everything right, from taking prenatals and exercising, and nothing is happening? I know life isn't fair and all that encompasses that, but I feel so angry. I can't even vent to my friends about it since they are part of the reason for my frustration.

I hope this doesn't come across as too mean or bitter...

 

[WayPastReady]

I can completely relate with you and your story. Unfortunately, all of the emotions that you're going through with the worry and jealousy are completely normal when struggling to conceive. When I was at the point that you are, I couldn't stand to see a pregnant woman or a baby and would start to tear up almost every time that I did, thinking how she was less healthy, less prepared, less deserving somehow than I am. Now, 18 cycles in, I have found a place of happiness for the other women because I don't wish this TTC battle on anyone. I see every baby and pregnancy as a miracle and a gift from God...even if it's not mine.

The worst part is definitely not being able to talk about it with friends and family. They really just don't get it unless they've gone through it, even then sometimes they don't. They don't know what to say, and the truth is there is nothing anyone can say to make it better. It's the worst feeling in the world to see another failed cycle and feel like a failure as a woman. Just know that your time is coming...it's just out of our hands.

 

[treesa228]

Hi there! I'm brand spankin new here. I thought it seemed like a good place to find some new friends and chat about this *wonderful* journey of TTC. I'm guessing some of you started out here like me. I feel entirely alone as I try to figure this all out.

So let me start from the beginning. Over 6 years ago now, I married my DH and instantly went off the pill. I waited until our wedding day to go off because I was just so positive we were coming back with a honeymoon baby and we'd live happily ever after! Yeah, that didn't quite happen as planned. The only babies I have are my dog babies - don't get me wrong, I love them to death. The cycles pretty much stopped at that point. I think it was about a year before I had a normal period. Did the gyno thing then. She sent me to a specialist. Long story short, we had some family matters and put everything on hold for a bit. When I finally went back, we went through a number of treatments and ultrasounds only to confirm that I had PCOS. I was told that my next step should be IVF.

I don't know about anyone else, but IVF just seems so scary, costs a fortune, and still isn't a guarantee. So I recently started looking into some more natural methods. There's so much out there, it's mind boggling for someone who doesn't know what the heck they're talking about! I currently have myo-inositol, d-chiro inositol, and vitex on order and I cannot wait! I'm also trying follow PCOS Diet Support's advice and work on going with a gluten free, no sugar, and low GI diet. There's no way I'm going to be perfect at all of that, so I'm just aiming for doing better.

I hope I can do it though. I feel like I don't have a great support system. My RE didn't give me any options other than IVF and really didn't explain what PCOS was enough, just pushed IVF. My husband is usually too busy looking at stupid videos on facebook while I sit here doing my own research. My mom tries to be helpful, but it just comes off sometimes as her really wanting me to give her a grandkid. And that's all I got. Just reaching out to see if anyone else is in the same position or trying these things or just wants to chat.

 

[treesa228]

I feel your pain! We thought we'd have a honeymoon baby, and it's been over 6 years now. We've given up a few times and then got back on it. The worst is seeing all the babies around you. My husband's had a few friends/relatives get pregnant since we've been trying and they shouldn't have kids/don't want them. The first of the bunch just went off to kindergarten this week. So depressing!

Have you seen a RE? I went to see one and ended up being diagnosed with PCOS and then told it's basically IVF or nothing. I gave up on it for a while 'cause IVF scares me a bit, but I'm getting back into it and seeing what there is I can do. It's exhausting isn't it? Just gotta keep your chin up and keep hoping and maybe try something new. I just ordered a couple of supplements I'm hoping help the PCOS. I know it's tough trying to stay positive (as I sit on my butt watching a movie being depressed instead of being out on this beautiful Labor Day).

 

[MKaykes]

Hi ladies! In relatively new here, just starting to post and trying to figure out this while forum thing...makes me feel a little old abd out of touch, lol! I'm actually not old though, 32 and ttc#1. DH and I have been married for a little over a year, and after going back and forth after last Christmas, we decided I would stop taking my birth control pills. My mom and sister got pregnant so easily I was sure I get pregnant immediately. But I knew I had my doubts and was hesitant. Here we are 9 cycles later and still no BFP! It is comforting to see others stories, every month AF is such a disappointment! The first few months I want concerned, and now the whole trying to relax about just gets harder. I've always had regular cycles. Both on and off the pill and had no trouble with my cycle since going off the pill. I've been temping for the last couple of months and I'm very confident I know when I'm ovulating, and we BD a couple times during that week and nothing has happened. I don't want to give up, and don't want to rush to the doctor, mostly because I don't want to be told it won't ever happen. How long have any of you waited before seeing a doctor? I know everything I've read online says 12 months for my age, but it seems like wasted time if something is wrong.

 

[raine87]

I just happened to have my annual check up due after 9 cycles. My OBGYN has decided to go ahead and move forward with additional testing. I am 27 (almost 28) and my husband is 29. I didn't make a special appointment but I did mention our difficulties at my annual.

 

[HappyWife90]

Hi ladies,

I am nearing the end of my first 2ww, and I feel like I have been frozen the whole time - all I can think about is whether or not we conceived! I have had some major symptoms but other things have me thinking it just didn't happen. I got a BFN today, 11dpo. I read all the positive messages that "it ain't over til AF comes," but I still feel kind of depressed.

I tried to explain to my DH that if things don't work, I will feel like a failure. I also feel like if things don't work the first time, then something is wrong and we are in for many more months of disappointment. I know it's not totally logical, but that's how I feel.

I would love to hear from those of you who have been TTC for a while, how are you coping and do you have any advice? How do you get things done on the BFN days? Thank you! Praying for all of us!

 

[MKaykes]

Hi there HappyWife, I was really disappointed my first coupe months trying to conceive, and now I just assume AF will come and probably won't believe it if I do get pregnant! One thing I learned quickly was to not test, the tww gets easier every month for me. I'm in my 9th cycle since off bcp. I've had friend who test early, get a BFP, only to learn it was a chemical pregnancy, I figure my chances of that disappointment are less if I just wait it out.

Baby dust to you!

 

[jesscarlee]

Hi Ladies,
First time posting on anything like this, went on a little google rampage to try find somewhere to vent to people that understand what I'am going through.

My cycle is always on time give or take one day at times.
BD happened on the 1st fertile day of my cycle, once in the early hours, and another time in the evening.

AF is now 10 days late.

I am a girl that can stay up to very early hours of the morning, but the last week Ive been in bed and fast asleep by 7.30-8pm everynight.

I've had cramping, but nothing like I am use to, I have Endometriosis, so my periods can be extremely painful, Although The last 7-8 months I haven't really had many issues, its been bearable.

Constant Headaches and slight dizziness.

This morning my eggs made me dry reach just after one bite.

I've noticed a few times while walking I have a odd feeling, almost as if someone is pulling down at my uterus, I've also noticed a slight bloating, I have a bit of a tummy already, but it feels as if its swollen and looks Perkier hahaha.

The thing is, I've had 6 BFN, My friends who all have kids have been telling me not to be disappointed just yet as my hcg levels may not be high enough to tell.

Today I went to the doctors in hope to get a blood test, I tried to explain that I feel so different and describe my 'symptoms'
Instead he pretty much ignored what I had to say and just went on to do a urine test, which was a BFN, and Hie was so rude about it "see not pregnant", and goes on too explain what the lines on the test mean, which we obviously all know.
Then told me theres nothing he can do for me..I asked if I could have a blood test done, He rudely asked what for and I explained I'd like to check everything as I haven't had them checked in a while and his reply was You dont need to, your only 23!


sorry for such a long rant, im just at my whits end, when should I test again? should I find a female doctor that may be more sensitive and allow me a blood test!

 

[MKaykes]

Hi Ladies,
First time posting on anything like this, went on a little google rampage to try find somewhere to vent to people that understand what I'am going through.

My cycle is always on time give or take one day at times.
BD happened on the 1st fertile day of my cycle, once in the early hours, and another time in the evening.

AF is now 10 days late.

I am a girl that can stay up to very early hours of the morning, but the last week Ive been in bed and fast asleep by 7.30-8pm everynight.

I've had cramping, but nothing like I am use to, I have Endometriosis, so my periods can be extremely painful, Although The last 7-8 months I haven't really had many issues, its been bearable.

Constant Headaches and slight dizziness.

This morning my eggs made me dry reach just after one bite.

I've noticed a few times while walking I have a odd feeling, almost as if someone is pulling down at my uterus, I've also noticed a slight bloating, I have a bit of a tummy already, but it feels as if its swollen and looks Perkier hahaha.

The thing is, I've had 6 BFN, My friends who all have kids have been telling me not to be disappointed just yet as my hcg levels may not be high enough to tell.

Today I went to the doctors in hope to get a blood test, I tried to explain that I feel so different and describe my 'symptoms'
Instead he pretty much ignored what I had to say and just went on to do a urine test, which was a BFN, and Hie was so rude about it "see not pregnant", and goes on too explain what the lines on the test mean, which we obviously all know.
Then told me theres nothing he can do for me..I asked if I could have a blood test done, He rudely asked what for and I explained I'd like to check everything as I haven't had them checked in a while and his reply was You dont need to, your only 23!


sorry for such a long rant, im just at my whits end, when should I test again? should I find a female doctor that may be more sensitive and allow me a blood test!

Was he an OBGYN? If not I'd go in to see one and not just family practice, especially male.

To be honest, I've had not great experiences with male docs when it comes to lady problems. I used to get chronic UTIs and I had a few male urgent care docs who tried to tell me it was just an irritation and I had to fight for an antibiotic. Seeing a female doc I would get sympathy, advice, and a refillable rx so I didn't need to make the trip to the clinic the next couple times...so, as for me, I would say see a female. If you continue to get BFNs, at least she'd be able to sympathize with you on your concern and give you some feedback on what's happening with your body. GL!

 

[Angel5000]

Hi Ladies,
First time posting on anything like this, went on a little google rampage to try find somewhere to vent to people that understand what I'am going through.

My cycle is always on time give or take one day at times.
BD happened on the 1st fertile day of my cycle, once in the early hours, and another time in the evening.

AF is now 10 days late.

I am a girl that can stay up to very early hours of the morning, but the last week Ive been in bed and fast asleep by 7.30-8pm everynight.

I've had cramping, but nothing like I am use to, I have Endometriosis, so my periods can be extremely painful, Although The last 7-8 months I haven't really had many issues, its been bearable.

Constant Headaches and slight dizziness.

This morning my eggs made me dry reach just after one bite.

I've noticed a few times while walking I have a odd feeling, almost as if someone is pulling down at my uterus, I've also noticed a slight bloating, I have a bit of a tummy already, but it feels as if its swollen and looks Perkier hahaha.

The thing is, I've had 6 BFN, My friends who all have kids have been telling me not to be disappointed just yet as my hcg levels may not be high enough to tell.

Today I went to the doctors in hope to get a blood test, I tried to explain that I feel so different and describe my 'symptoms'
Instead he pretty much ignored what I had to say and just went on to do a urine test, which was a BFN, and Hie was so rude about it "see not pregnant", and goes on too explain what the lines on the test mean, which we obviously all know.
Then told me theres nothing he can do for me..I asked if I could have a blood test done, He rudely asked what for and I explained I'd like to check everything as I haven't had them checked in a while and his reply was You dont need to, your only 23!


sorry for such a long rant, im just at my whits end, when should I test again? should I find a female doctor that may be more sensitive and allow me a blood test!

First off, your doctor is horribly rude and you deserve better. You are paying him, after all. I would find a new doctor. Secondly, if you want to have tests run then that is your right and your doctor should not tell you that you don't need it because you're only 23 and then refuse to do tests. When I told my doc I wanted to check my VitD and Thyroid, he told me he didn't think I had a thyroid problem but he would run the tests if that's what I wanted to give me peace of mind. My doctor was a male, but he was an OBGYN as well as a family doctor and very sweet and good at what he did (I just wish he hadn't retired last month). You need to find a new doctor, tell them your period is 10 days late and your urine tests are coming up negative and you'd like a blood test to determine if you are pregnant or if there's something else wrong.

Sorry this is going on. Some doctors can be real @$$es

 

[the_mrsg]

DH and I have been actively trying for 2 months. We had a pregnancy scare which made me realize how strong my desire to be a mother truly was so we both decided I should get off the pill. I stopped mid-pack which sent my body into a hormone-whirlwind! I had terrible cramps and heavy bleeding 6 days after getting off the pill and then a month from then I had an even more violent period. Heavy bleeding for about 4 days and terrible cramping. This is how my periods were before getting on bc two years earlier but I could have gone the rest of my life without experiencing that. Now I am realizing that this random acne isn't random at all! I'm having breakouts in spots of my face that have never seen a blemish which I am blaming the hormone tornado for.

DH and I are trying for a boy so we used the method of not doing the BD on the days leading up to ovulation which I kept track of with BBT, ovulation tests, and an app called Ovia Fertility. Well today I am supposed to start and I am not experiencing any pms symptoms at all. No symptoms at all actually. I took a ClearBlue Digital test at 9DPO and 12DPO. Both negative. Considering how obvious it was that AF was coming the past 2 times, should I take it as a good sign that things are quiet so far? The two tests are really stomping on my hopes but I'm trying my hardest to be optimistic. What are your thoughts?

 

[the_mrsg]

Just wanted to add that AF still hasn't made an appearance or even made it known she is on her way. I should have seen her yesterday morning. So i took a test ans got another BFN. Should i hold onto hope or continue blowing my money on tests??

 

[Angel5000]

Just wanted to add that AF still hasn't made an appearance or even made it known she is on her way. I should have seen her yesterday morning. So i took a test ans got another BFN. Should i hold onto hope or continue blowing my money on tests??

How long is your luteal phase usually (number of days from Ovulation to the day AF comes)?

I would wait another day or two before testing. hcg doubles every 2 days approximately so the best thing to do would be to wait a couple days. Also, often the cheapie tests are best for multiple or early testing. The digi's often need more hormone to show up, and at 9DPO or even 12DPO there may not be enough hormone, especially if you have a late implantation. The body starts making the hormone at the time of implantation, which can be between 5 and 12DPO. Meaning if you implanted late (11-12DPO) then you wouldn't be able to get a BFP right away.

Wait a couple days, then try again. Fingers crossed for you!!

PS: hte vent thread doesn't get al ot of traffic. So if you want a lot of advice, I'd check out the regular TTC threads. There are groups in there that are really helpful and supportive. I hang out in the October Sticky Beans and the November testers! group, but there are a lot and we welcome new people.

 

[lesondemavie]

Perhaps a good vent is exactly what I need. We started actively trying in August. Two cycles have come and gone, and I'm just a few days away from the end of cycle 3. Cycle 1 I had horrible PMS and thought for sure I'd get a BFP. Cycle 2 I decided I wasn't pregnant, and sure enough AF arrived on time. This cycle, I have increased cm and smells are hitting me like a train BUT I really don't want to get my hopes up.

I feel silly for putting so much into this so early. It's only been a few months! I'm so ready to be a mom and have a child with my DH, but to be honest I'm a bit terrified of being pregnant. My mother had horrible morning sickness, and it didn't look fun at all. I can't imagine going through that while working full time like I do. It feels like the sooner I get pregnant, the sooner I can stop fearing it and just deal. On top of that, my mom had endometriosis and trouble conceiving. If that's my lot in life, I know we'll be okay. It's just the trying, and the hope, and the not knowing yet part that's killing me :/.

All that being said, glass half full...I'm nearly half way to finding out more if needed. Cheers and best of luck to all! Thanks in advance for the support.

 

[the_mrsg]

I'm guessing my luteal phase is about 10 days give or take. I've also noticed I've been having these weird sharp twinges in my pelvic region. They almost feel like cramps but they never last more than 2 seconds wheras my cramps are long waves. I went to the store to get cheap normal tests. I hope i get a BFP soon!

 

[KelleyBelley]

I've felt like I conceived a few days after I ovulated. My symptoms kicked in almost instantly. I have been nauseous, bloated, moody, and lightheaded. I've also had back pains and stomach cramps starting at about 8dpo. My breast have been full, heavy, and tender since about 3dpo. My breast have only felt like this once in my whole life which was during my first pregnancy (miscarriage). I also had egg white CM (tmi,sorry)at about 9 dpo. I tested using FRER yesterday (10dpo) and it was negative. I'm wondering if I could still be pregnant. AF is due in 3 days.

 

[Ellette]

Been thinking long and hard about the frustrations of this journey. My husband I finally saw a fertility specialist and received some discouraging news. I have a low egg count, and he has well, low sperm count and slow swimmers.

We were going to go back and start 'treatment' but the cost is just more than we can afford at the moment as state insurance doesn't cover it.

Frustrated, but wanting to find a way to conceive without the Doctor. Doesn't help that my friends sister who was 'struggling' to conceive is now almost 2 months pregnant after a few months of 'trying'. I know I should be happy for her, but dang it, I want to have kids before I'm 40.

 

[Pickelca]

I'm so glad this is here! Lately I have been feeling pretty alone with this whole journey to becoming a mom. My DH and I have been actively trying for 5 months and at first I was ok with whatever happens, happens. I was trying to not put the stress on TTC because I know what effects stress can have. Recently, it seems everyone in my family is having a baby. I know I have no right to judge but, one cousin got pregnant off a fling, one is not financially stable, and another just had a baby in February and is due in March. I feel bad for having these feelings but I just wish it was easier. what really broke me today was taking a test today being 10 dpo and it being another BFN yet again, and my DH saying at dinner "I just have a feeling we are pregnant" I just burst into tears. As much as I want to be a mom, I want for my husband to be dad.

 

[ABmommy]

How's everyone doing?