Trying To Conceive #1 Only Vent Thread

[W8ting4baby1]

Oh gosh, I so feel you on the family front! I am 31 and may as well be a grandma to my family as all my cousins, etc. had babies in their early 20's. It's bad enough feeling the clock tick yourself let alone having your family unnecessarily chime in! My mom told me at 30 what was wrong with me for not having kids yet, that I was getting 'old,' ...that hurt so badly. But, now I'm nearly 32 and we're finally ready. Only been trying a few months, but hoping this is the month it will happen.I should O tomorrow and we BD yesterday, so....prayers sent, baby dust swished to you all!

 

[Angel5000]

Oh gosh, I so feel you on the family front! I am 31 and may as well be a grandma to my family as all my cousins, etc. had babies in their early 20's. It's bad enough feeling the clock tick yourself let alone having your family unnecessarily chime in! My mom told me at 30 what was wrong with me for not having kids yet, that I was getting 'old,' ...that hurt so badly. But, now I'm nearly 32 and we're finally ready. Only been trying a few months, but hoping this is the month it will happen.I should O tomorrow and we BD yesterday, so....prayers sent, baby dust swished to you all!

Good luck W8ting4baby1!!! I've got my fingers crossed for you!

 

[drklib]

I want to cry today. AF arrived a day early. This is the icing on my cake from a craptacular Sunday experience with my in-laws. Sometimes I swear people have zero tact or brain-to-mouth filter. We thought when the MIL invited us for dinner it was going to be just the four of us. It started off with her showing me all the cute little things she is sewing for my niece (my mother in law is INSANELY crafty- she made ALL of the bedding, including pillows, for the nursery and is currently doing crib bumpers with flowers and other stuff embroidered on them... and her next project is making a ton of finger puppets to go with stories). It felt like a knife was being thrust into my heart and rotated repeatedly. THEN- my sister in law showed up. She is the rudest person I have ever met in my life... What my husband's brother sees in her is beyond us. Anyway- the in-laws immediately went to grab all the toys (everything top of the line for their precious little Marlowe), so Jake and I hung back to let them play with the baby. His dad was holding Marlowe when he walked by and without missing a beat his father says "Marlowe, that may have looked like daddy (Jake and Jason are identical twins), but that is your Uncle Jake and he really could care less about you". I was so stunned I actually stuttered "what??" so his brother repeated what my FIL said and AGREED with it!. I wanted to punch them, I was so angry. They say this type of stuff all the time. Last time they said "Jake is clearly not part of this family since he can't seem to get you pregnant". I replied with "I'm sure my cervix got seriously screwed up with all the biopsies done when I was going through that cervical cancer scare" and that shut them up. My heart just breaks for Jake. Part of my frustration with not getting pregnant yet is because of the crap they say without even caring about the repercussions. The other part of me just wants to throw in the towel and say "Screw it, let's just be a double income no kid family and travel the world and have the life his dad and our sister in law REALLY wanted".

I'm just angry and heart broken today... Amongst other emotions that are making me feel miserable (frustrated, bitter, upset...).

 

[raine87]

This is my first time on here and kinda reluctant to post anything but I feel like I need a release. My husband and I have been TTC since December. One of the couples we are close to have also been TTC and they got pregnant last month. While I am all to happy for them I am nothing but frustrated and a little depressed. I feel like I can no longer talk to her about this because while she understood what it was like to get another period, she now is on the other side of it. I feel like she sends me nothing but pity and I can't take it anymore.
My brother has been blessed with twins (boy and girl) and my husband's sister had a boy in January. While we aren't being judged by either side of the family (mostly because they know we are having issues) it still doesn't feel good when they are all too excited to go on and on and on about the little ones. It is to the point our mothers are treating our sassy corgi like a grandchild and even refer to themselves as "grandma" to our dog.
My mother had a hysterectomy at the age of 28. I'm 27 and will be 28 in Oct. Naturally, I am freaking out. I'm like 6 weeks from hitting that point. We have had 2 chemical pregnancies. My husband is still optimistic but we would be a true couple if I was not the "Negative Nelly". I'm realistic. I know my family history is stacking the odds against us.
I am beyond tired of hearing people give the GREAT advice of, "stop trying and it will happen" or "it will happen when it's meant to happen", or probably my favorite, "stop thinking about it". Because all of this is such good advice. (I literally rolled my eyes while I typed that.)
While we continue to live our lives (we are going on vacation in a couple of weeks) and are still trying various things (started taking vitamin b6 this month as well as making sure I take the nauseating multivitamin), it is still difficult not to get down about it and need to vent. Sorry this is such a long post but just had a lot on my mind.

 

[Angel5000]

This is my first time on here and kinda reluctant to post anything but I feel like I need a release. My husband and I have been TTC since December. One of the couples we are close to have also been TTC and they got pregnant last month. While I am all to happy for them I am nothing but frustrated and a little depressed. I feel like I can no longer talk to her about this because while she understood what it was like to get another period, she now is on the other side of it. I feel like she sends me nothing but pity and I can't take it anymore.
My brother has been blessed with twins (boy and girl) and my husband's sister had a boy in January. While we aren't being judged by either side of the family (mostly because they know we are having issues) it still doesn't feel good when they are all too excited to go on and on and on about the little ones. It is to the point our mothers are treating our sassy corgi like a grandchild and even refer to themselves as "grandma" to our dog.
My mother had a hysterectomy at the age of 28. I'm 27 and will be 28 in Oct. Naturally, I am freaking out. I'm like 6 weeks from hitting that point. We have had 2 chemical pregnancies. My husband is still optimistic but we would be a true couple if I was not the "Negative Nelly". I'm realistic. I know my family history is stacking the odds against us.
I am beyond tired of hearing people give the GREAT advice of, "stop trying and it will happen" or "it will happen when it's meant to happen", or probably my favorite, "stop thinking about it". Because all of this is such good advice. (I literally rolled my eyes while I typed that.)
While we continue to live our lives (we are going on vacation in a couple of weeks) and are still trying various things (started taking vitamin b6 this month as well as making sure I take the nauseating multivitamin), it is still difficult not to get down about it and need to vent. Sorry this is such a long post but just had a lot on my mind.

I so understand! One of my coworker/friends that I talked to about TTC, who stopped bc the same time as me and talked about struggles etc just announced she was pregnant. And apparently has been for a couple months, which just killed me because the last couple months we've been talking and she didn't tell me (which is to be expected we aren't quite that close, but I thought I was talking to another person who was having trouble TTC, not someone who was already pregnant).

I keep hearing the same advice: it'll happen when you stop thinking about it. Ummm yeah because that's so easy to do.

I'm so sorry. I know how hard this is. And we only started trying in March/April.

I'm praying you get your miracle soon!

 

[raine87]

I have that too at work. 3 women are pregnant. All of whom were "afraid to tell me" bc they knew we had been trying. ummmmmmm I'm not a horrible person. I'm happy for you just mad at my own uterus.

 

[Angel5000]

I have that too at work. 3 women are pregnant. All of whom were "afraid to tell me" bc they knew we had been trying. ummmmmmm I'm not a horrible person. I'm happy for you just mad at my own uterus.

Exactly!!

 

[FertileFlower]

I've been positive for the months we've been trying but today I feel like a mess.
I got a faint positive on the dollar tree brand two days in a row, COULD have been evaps maybe but consensus said it was BFP.

I'm 39 and have never been pregnant before as far as I know. All signs where there this month, signs I didn't even know was signs until I looked them up. (Like an incredible bitter taste in my mouth for the last few days) increased CM, nausea (vomited once 4 days ago but that was it), huge boobs, huge belly,extreme hunger pains if I don't eat every 2 hrs, veins, very dizzy which is unusual for me, heartburn etc etc etc. I pretty much have all the symptoms in the book including the little spots on the nipples.

So then last night and today I am having a/f like cramps. It's 5 day early and in 20+ years of menstruating I've never been that early. I am usually late if anything. My period is regular as clock work though in the last few years with one day variation only. But if I had a BFP, this shouldn't be implantation cramps.

I'm so confused. I have no one to talk to. My friends are all happy with several kids and quite a few even have grandkids by now.

I don't know what I'll do if a/f shows up this month. I allowed myself to believe this was the month the little bean arrived. DH is no support, just thinks we'll get pregnant no prob. I know some people have tried for years before succeeding. But I was not ready until now and I don't have that long to try at my age nor do I think I could handle it.

It hurts to see other parents not care much about their kids, or nonchalantly have their 5th kid and not really even wanting it or being excited about it.

There is nothing I want more and it just hurts. Some spiritual teachings says that the children pick their parents before they arrive. I don't understand why no one would want to be mine then. I have done so much work on myself and come so far. The baby would be so loved and cared for. Why wont she/he arrive?

I know I should try to stay calm and positive, but I just can't right now. Been crying all day and really having a pity party. I'm even crying while eating. lol Sad sap. At least my boobs look fabulous, I guess that's something. :/

 

[Angel5000]

I've been positive for the months we've been trying but today I feel like a mess.
I got a faint positive on the dollar tree brand two days in a row, COULD have been evaps maybe but consensus said it was BFP.

I'm 39 and have never been pregnant before as far as I know. All signs where there this month, signs I didn't even know was signs until I looked them up. (Like an incredible bitter taste in my mouth for the last few days) increased CM, nausea (vomited once 4 days ago but that was it), huge boobs, huge belly,extreme hunger pains if I don't eat every 2 hrs, veins, very dizzy which is unusual for me, heartburn etc etc etc. I pretty much have all the symptoms in the book including the little spots on the nipples.

So then last night and today I am having a/f like cramps. It's 5 day early and in 20+ years of menstruating I've never been that early. I am usually late if anything. My period is regular as clock work though in the last few years with one day variation only. But if I had a BFP, this shouldn't be implantation cramps.

I'm so confused. I have no one to talk to. My friends are all happy with several kids and quite a few even have grandkids by now.

I don't know what I'll do if a/f shows up this month. I allowed myself to believe this was the month the little bean arrived. DH is no support, just thinks we'll get pregnant no prob. I know some people have tried for years before succeeding. But I was not ready until now and I don't have that long to try at my age nor do I think I could handle it.

It hurts to see other parents not care much about their kids, or nonchalantly have their 5th kid and not really even wanting it or being excited about it.

There is nothing I want more and it just hurts. Some spiritual teachings says that the children pick their parents before they arrive. I don't understand why no one would want to be mine then. I have done so much work on myself and come so far. The baby would be so loved and cared for. Why wont she/he arrive?

I know I should try to stay calm and positive, but I just can't right now. Been crying all day and really having a pity party. I'm even crying while eating. lol Sad sap. At least my boobs look fabulous, I guess that's something. :/

Oh hun,

I've been told that cramps during early pregnancy is normal. I know that in no way will it be helpful to tell you to calm down, but maybe you should take a warm bath with some bubble bath? Or do some yoga? Something to help you maintain a sense of calm.

I'm the only one of my friends without kids, and I'm the only one of my cousins without kids. We can do this.

If it is any consolation, I am having similar concerns regarding why some parents can nonchalantly have more kids, or don't take care of their kids, and yet I am still without. My BIL is having a custody battle because he wants custody of the kids, but so far they aren't doing well. His ex-wife lives in a 2 bedroom apartment (that is probably no more than 550 sq ft total) has 5 children of her own, plus her new husband has 3. They put 8 children in one bedroom, and they have been caught putting ALL EIGHT in the backseat of their car - a volvo with only 5 seats total (2 front, 3 back). They stack the kids in the back 2 high, 1 in a carseat, and put 1 on the friggin' floor! And the police can't do anything unless they are stopped, the judge won't take them away without better proof, CPS can't get involved because it isn't considered neglect, and yet THIS WOMAN has has 5 pregnancies and here I am. TTC #1 and struggling.

 

[FertileFlower]

Angel5000 Thank you!! I have calmed down a bit by now. No period, which really would be so odd if it was this early for the first time ever. Just some mild cramps on and off slightly to the right still. That horrible bitter taste in my mouth.
I am not sure if I should test again tonight or just wait. A BFN would feel uninspiring. lol

8 kids in one bedroom is a lot. It isn't necessarily neglect, but I TOTALLY understand where the frustration comes from when she has 5 and doesn't really provide a stable surrounding (getting all of them in the car etc) My DH has an old friend who has 6 children with as many different fathers and is on welfare, her oldest teenager is having problems with drugs and depression, and she just had a new baby. I don't really put moral judgment on other people because I am far from perfect and it also isn't my business. But it hurts to know that while she and other women pops them out left and right, I am just wanting one, just one, and it seems like that is too much to ask for? One of my friends, who is an awesome mom to her kids, had her third kid at age 40 last year. It was a mishap from a one-night-stand that wasn't even good (no passion or real intimacy, just pure shagging). It seems so easy for some. I am eating so well, have read up on everything, taking supplements, already do yoga (need to do more I suppose ), and doing everything to a T. Also, me and DH is really, really intimate in all senses of the word and we enjoy trying for a little one. It's an aphrodisiac to us both (as long as I don't talk about the clinical part of it lol) Also, with all these symptoms I am never trusting my body again if it can come up with all these symptoms just attached to an idea and not an actual pregnancy. ARRRGHHH lol

Thank you for responding. I am usually the one people turn to so everyone expects me to be cheerful and zen all the time. I usually am, but not today, not today. lol

 

[WayPastReady]

Why does it seem like everyone but me can get pregnant?! In the past 24 hours, I've found out that 3 of my friends are pregnant...one of which is my best friend who isn't married and wasn't trying. I'm super happy for her because she's 35 and has been wanting a baby for years, but it's so hard to see people get pregnant so easily when I can't. It makes me think even more that something is wrong with me.

I know it's going to happen for me...I just never expected it to take this long. I actually can't believe that this is my life. I'm currently on cycle 19 with no bfp at all so far...hard to not feel like a failure. I wonder what it feels like to see 2 lines show up? For now, I have to settle for getting excited when I see my positive opk.

My heart goes out to every other woman here who is going through the same thing. Hopefully our nightmare will end soon. Until then, I'm going to keep having faith that God will give us our blessing soon.

 

[Mrs H 1990]

Hi all, ttc #1 but after coming off the pill in June my periods have not returned yet so it's hard to time!

Has anyone else had this problem?

Today I've woken up with achey bbs and sore nipples! Sorry if tmi"

 

[Angel5000]

Hi all, ttc #1 but after coming off the pill in June my periods have not returned yet so it's hard to time!

Has anyone else had this problem?

Today I've woken up with achey bbs and sore nipples! Sorry if tmi"

It took me about 40 days after I dropped the pill for my periods to return. That first bit can take awhile. How long were you on it? And did you stop beginning or end of June?

The achy BBs and sore nipples could be Ovulation, could be AF or could be a sign. Really depends on what else is going on. Are you tracking anything or just letting things happen?

Feel free to join some of us in the TTC threads - we have a couple threads for the current "cycle" where we can encourage each other and talk. There are a few but here is a link to one of them CD1 August9. You don't have to be on the exact same cycle! Just pop in and get some support.

 

[Mrs H 1990]

Just realised you replied to my other post

Beginning of June and I was on it for just over two and half years so was never expecting things to skip straight back into action with no af I haven't really got a lot to track other than the dates of our "attempts" lol

 

[Angel5000]

Just realised you replied to my other post

Beginning of June and I was on it for just over two and half years so was never expecting things to skip straight back into action with no af I haven't really got a lot to track other than the dates of our "attempts" lol

Yeah, I saw your other post and then saw this one. Not a lot of people reply to the vent posts so I wanted to reply here where you might see it better.

I was on bc for 15 years. But I really didn't realize what I was getting into because the doctors kept saying it wouldn't affect me. Now, I think they were wrong. lol

Other things you can track to help you determine if you ovulated, if you are ovulating, if AF is on its way, etc include: Basal Body Temp (most effective if you start from AF though, so that would be a little tricky now but doable), cervical mucus (CM) and cervical position (CP). The CP is not an exact science and not always specific, but CM gives you a good idea of where in the cycle you are and can at least let you know when you are fertile and ovulating.

I can imagine that right now you are probably flying a little blind. That's how I Felt during the first month waiting for AF because I wasn't tracking anything either.

 

[Mrs H 1990]

Yes I was saying this to a friend the other day they really don't inform you what you are inflicting on your body. If we do conceive I'm not going back on it after as don't want this when ttc #2!!

Are you in the uk? I was taking microgynon 30 not sure if pill is the same worldwide lol!!!

I have been tracking cm but it's been the same for around 4 weeks so I think until af return I might just have to take a test every 4 weeks or so!

 

[Angel5000]

Yes I was saying this to a friend the other day they really don't inform you what you are inflicting on your body. If we do conceive I'm not going back on it after as don't want this when ttc #2!!

Are you in the uk? I was taking microgynon 30 not sure if pill is the same worldwide lol!!!

I have been tracking cm but it's been the same for around 4 weeks so I think until af return I might just have to take a test every 4 weeks or so!

I'm not in the UK, in the US. The pills are different, I've never heard of microgynon30. lol! So hard when everything changes country to country.

If the CM has been teh same for 4 weeks then you probably haven't Ovulated yet. Shortly before O you should start to get the EWcm and then after O it will change and then (for most) start to dry up before AF. After O, AF should come pretty soon because the Luteal Phase is a set time for most women. 12-14 days is average and normal. My reading says it can't be much more htan that because your body after O has to dispose of stuff. So before O can change all the time but after O should be about the same.

Your body probably just needs time to remember how to create its own hormones since bc was doing it for it before.

And I AGREE. After this one I think I'm not going back on bc again if I can help it. Going to consider doing FAM method or something else that is non-hormonal (except condoms we hate condoms). I am just not interested in going through this agian.

 

[Mrs H 1990]

Microgynon has three week of yellow hormone pils then a fourth week of white dud pills - when you take these you get a fake period called a withdrawal bleed, that was the last I had

I had the Ewcm for what would have been the first two lots of cycles then it's been the cloudy "school glue" type since .. So hard !

I haven't measured basal temp what should it be if your ovulating? I know you should do it in the morning I think?

 

[Angel5000]

Microgynon has three week of yellow hormone pils then a fourth week of white dud pills - when you take these you get a fake period called a withdrawal bleed, that was the last I had

I had the Ewcm for what would have been the first two lots of cycles then it's been the cloudy "school glue" type since .. So hard !

I haven't measured basal temp what should it be if your ovulating? I know you should do it in the morning I think?

Sounds like the same type pill I was on. The hormones themselves might be different, but similar. I was on desogen, which was 3 weeks of white active hormone pills and a fourth week of dud pink pills. There are several types that have the same set up but different amount of hormones and stuff.

The basal temp doesn't have a set temp for ovulation or not, it is a rise that you see after Ovulation occurs. Each woman is different. You take it first thing in the morning before getting up or moving around, after 3-4 hours of decent sleep. Pre-Ovulation your temps are lower, a day or two after Ovulation you see a spike in temp and it stays elevated which is how you determine you are in the Luteal Phase (post ovulation). IT will sometimes dip a little at implantation (not always) otherwise it will dip and start to lower when AF is coming. Because everyone is different you can't tell just by the temps you have, but you have to see the pattern.

You can click on the chart in my signature to get an idea of what the chart looks like for me. However, when you click on it you can see current chart for me (my temps are actually pretty low), and if you scroll down you'll see my last chart. Keep in mind though that my last cycle chart was not very normal. I've got better charts. Or go to Fertility Friend's website and you can look at what the charts look like. Of course, you can start temping now but you won't get a really good idea of what's going on until you've been temping since the beginning of a cycle because you aren't looking for a specific temp but a total shift in the whole pattern.

 

[babymama15]

hey girl. I have really stupid cycles, haven't had one since last July. so over a year... what did you end up finding out from the Dr.?