Trying To Conceive #1 Only Vent Thread

[jellyfish24]

Jelly! Congratulations!!!!

Was there anything that you were doing differently? I imagine after 4 years you have probably tried every trick out there to TTC.

Oh thanks so much! We did bd every other day but started much earlier. cd 6, i has been taking folic acid pregna-care and DH was taking the well-man vitamins. I really think that helped us.
I had gone off opks for a long time but after being to the doc to take the next steps of fertility treatments she suggested opks for a few months. I had the +ve on cd13 so i think the night before we must have caught.
We only got as far as a blood test for me and DH was about to get tested this week. Really strange how things work out.

 

[BelleNuit]

I've heard that so many times where somebody gets their bfp right before they start to go in for tests! Well whatever the reason, I am happy for you that you got your bfp!!!

 

[Bookworm8]

Hope it's ok to post these rants on things people say. Sometimes people think they're helping, but in reality their comments are just making you feel oh so much worse.

"Don't stress, if you do get pregnant, it's bad for the baby."
I can't help feeling what I'm feeling! If you insist on discussing my feelings, how about you listen rather than tell me what to feel or NOT to feel and make me think I'm a horrible person because I can't control my feelings.

"It'll happen when you stop trying, that's what worked for us"
I'm glad that worked for you but that doesn't work for everyone. Some people can only get pregnant with assistance, and some can't get pregnant at all, and you don't know where we are with that.

"Don't worry, if it it's meant to be it'll happen"
Is this supposed to be comforting? To me, it just feels like throwing in my face that maybe I'm not meant to be a mother and I'll never get to have children.

"God will give you kids when you're ready for them"
So, does this mean I'm not ready for them now? What would qualify as being "ready" for having children? This makes it feel like it's my fault and there's something I'm not doing to be prepared enough for kids.

You should enjoy the time you have to sleep now
I do understand that the sleep deprivation that comes from having a newborn is a form of torture, but right now there is nothing, including sleep, which would be better than having a baby!

You'll see when you have kids you won't be able to...
Yes, I know there are many things that are difficult when have a child. That doesn't make me want kids any less. I will gladly sacrifice those things!

 

[beccabonny]

Bookworm, I totally agree with everything you said in that post.

 

[Gagrlinpitt]

Hey guys. Do you mind if I join? I'm 31 years old and my husband and I are TTC our first bean for four months now since my IUD removal Feb 5. I know four months isn't long but it seems like it's been forever as I know about 15(!!) ladies who are pregnant right now. Three just announced in the past few days. I am so happy for them but I want a little bean so bad..

Make it even more upsetting when my father in law passed away in April I found out my brother in law knocked a girl up who they were just fooling around. She's due in September. I'm not mad at her but they weren't even trying.. Ugh. Sorry for the rant.

 

[beccabonny]

Four months DOES seem like forever! The baby crop seems to increase on a monthly basis around here too. Sorry about your FIL my SO's dad passed in November and he's still feeling it. My future SIL keeps getting pg just by oops (although I have the idea she's trying and saying she's not). So, welcome! I'm new but everyone here has been incredibly friendly

 

[Cdub]

I'm new to this so please work with me, but I need to vent and hopefully get opinions so here I go....

My DH and I started "trying" for a baby last June. When we first started trying I thought this will be easy, all the other girls in my family have been very fertile so I must be too. I didn't chart, take OPKs, temp or anything the first 2-3 months. With no success and AF visiting every month I decided to start using OPKs. Every month my cycle was between 25-28 days. I would get positive OPKs every month and my DH and I would BD around those days. Still no success... I've never even been able to take a test because my period has NEVER been late. After a few more months I decided to try temping too... Let's say that lasted a month. I saw my temp rise and fall with the positive OPK and we got busy around it. Then AF visits again. I made a appointment with my Obgyn because the cycle before AF came I had brown spotting for a week leading up to the start of my period. When I visited her she said that can be normal (I'd never had it before) and to keep an eye on it, if it happened again come in. Two more months pass with no success (I stopped temping and using OPKs because I decided that stressed me out more and I'm consistently ovulating at the same time every month) and I get the brown spotting again. I go back to the doc and she orders a vaginal ultrasound and some blood work for my thyroid. I had to call her three times to get my results finally and all the nurse said was it looks good, keep trying until November and if you're not successful make another point and we'll do more testing. Come November that would be 17 months of trying!!! If it takes that long. I'm 31 and I don't want to keep pushing off something that made need further testing! I want multiple children so waiting just makes me worry more. My DH has been seeing his doctor and he had his testosterone checked which came back fine. He is going back to his doctor for other reason in October and the doctor said if we haven't had success by then he'll look more into as well.

I'm frustrated, stressed, I feel like my Obgyn isn't concerned and couldn't care less when I go to her. This cycle I had shooting point pain in my left ovary area around CD 20 - CD 22. Here I am with AF arriving today. AF only last about a day and a half to two days for me followed by brown spotting. Do I go to another Obgyn at the same hospital so they have my files still, do I wait until November and stay with my same Obgyn? Help!!!! I know they say stressing about it doesn't help, but I haven't figured out how think about it all the time!! Bummed 12 months and trying poster.... I'm losing hope.

 

[BelleNuit]

You should definitely find a different doctor, or INSIST on further testing with this doctor!

 

[Cheshire.cat]

My hubby and I are ttc (this is officially our first month) but he had delayed ejaculation and I'm worried we will never get to the point where I will actually be pregnant. This is a very touchy subject for him as he feels less of a man for it how do I go about suggesting we go see somebody.

 

[beccabonny]

Cdub I think you should definitely consider another doc if you can't push this one to take it further. 12 months is usually the time when they start going further. Also look into more testing with your SO if you can, because the more you can rule out the better! If you feel like she doesn't care, it's time to find somebody you click more with. I have the same feeling with my OB and will not be continuing my care next pg (but I will go in for my first ultrasound then switch docs).

Don't lose hope! I know it's hard, but success can be right around the corner. I'm hoping for you


Cheshire, that is a tough one! Have you talked about going to see somebody to get yourself tested? If you're going through the process, he might be more willing to participate. Otherwise, with men in general anyway, it seems like the best way is to get them to think it up themselves if you can't be direct because of the male ego involved. I'm sure there are other women on here who have dealt with something similar. I wonder what kind of alternatives there might be as far as conceiving with his particular issue. Perhaps you could research or speak to your doctor without him, then if you find anything, clue him in?

 

[WaitinOnBabyG]

We have been ttc for over a year now and it hurts every time I see a pregnancy announcement. There are 14 & 15 year old girls who have been with their boyfriends acouple of weeks and they are pregnant! And here I am, I've been with my fiancé for almost 4 years, and we are getting married in less than 2 months and it seems like I can't do the one thing my body was created for. I try to stay positive but every time I see only 1 line on that stick, I can't help but feel a part of my heart break. All I'm asking for is my little baby G. Half me and half him. We are ready to be mommy & daddy... But waiting an trying is so frustrating because it never works. AF is all over the place, only coming every 3-4 months. It makes things harder. And every time I hear "so when are y'all gonna have a kid?" Or "just stop trying. It will happen eventually." It's so hard... I just feel like crying all the time.

 

[jbuggx]

Trying to conceive is probably the hardest thing ive ever done. NO ONE understands what I go through. Every time my SIL says "are yall still trying" I wanna slap her in the face. Of course I'm still trying. And it hurts even worse coming from her bc she got pregnant with her son like BOOM!! not with the dad, no job, no place to live, nothing. and he is now 2 years old. Then a few months ago she told me she was pregnant again but didnt know what to do bc she doesnt want another baby. Then proceeds to ask me if she should have an abortion... ME of all people? Like how dare you even consider thinking of asking me a question like that when I would do anything in this whole work to have a baby. So i told her to never talk to me about any of that ever again. So a few months have passed and she isnt pregnant so im assuming she went through with the abortion. She comes over the other night and is talking about babies and what not so I proceed to ask her if she is on birth control and she says no....... like seriously you obviously ended one pregnancy and then didnt get on birth control to make sure you didnt have to do something like that again? I could have slapped her in the face. It makes me sick to even really have anything to do with her at this point. Always talking about make sure and have lots of sex, put your legs up, do this and do that. I don't need advice on what to do.. my body just doesnt operate on its own. But i definitely don't want advice from her... I know that sounds horrible but I can't take it.

 

[beccabonny]

WOBG - There are lots of teenage pg around here as well, and I always worry about the fact that most of them just don’t have the level of maturity it takes to be a good mom. I’m not saying all of them, especially with a supportive family structure in place, but it is such a bummer to know there are responsible, secure couples wanting to start or continue families who are struggling at the same time. Sorry to hear about AF and those people who make unfeeling comments. I got more before I was trying, and I think most people know my situation ATM and therefore haven’t run into that YET, but I know it’s inevitable.

jbug, sorry to hear about your frustrations. I feel the same way about people around me not understanding. All the advice people try to give that isn’t welcome - do they think we aren’t educated on what to do beyond what they could ever imagine? Awful about your SIL I wouldn’t want advice from her either. How could she ever understand?

 

[alexanne89]

Found out DH's sperm doesn't move and we wasted 10 months of TTC. Get your SO tested ladies!

 

[boo bump]

Hi ladies!

I don't know if this is the right place to post this but hopefully it is

I've been on Yasmin for about 10 years. Stopped taking it due to estrogen (my mom had breast cancer a few years back, thankfully recovered).
Dr put me on Cerazette abut 5 months ago.
It was giving me depression and anxiety, and SO and I were fighting all the time, I was horribly emotional.

Stopped taking Cerazette 1 month ago, which led to SO asking me if we want to TTC

I don't know if my ovulations are back in order, but I missed my AF now.

Really hoping to get a sticky bean in my belly

Even though I know it's probably gonna take a while after my ovulations get back in order after taking Cerazette...

Hopeful and really don't want to wait
Anyway, vent over, hope everyone is having a lovely day xx

 

[Gagrlinpitt]

How do you ladies deal with the disappointment of seeing that one line every month.

 

[BelleNuit]

Gagrlinpitt I literally stopped testing because I couldn't take seeing one line anymore. Its easier to just have AF show then it is to have all of your hopes dashed within a matter of minutes. I don't even buy HPTs anymore. The next one I take will be after AF is late, and I'll make DH watch it with me so that he can suffer too lol

 

[alexanne89]

I also do the same. I don't test anymore and just expect AF to show her ugly head.

 

[Gagrlinpitt]

That's my plan for next month.. Because I literally breakdown every time I see that one line.

 

[MKaykes]

I too just stopped testing! Even when I was so prepared for a BFN it still made be cry. Oddly AF arriving didn't have the she effect.