Trying To Conceive #1 Only Vent Thread

[Geebug x]

Had a really bad weekend, met up with OH's friends on Saturday, one with a newborn, one couple preg and one couple just started trying and I just couldn't cope.
OH took me home and I couldn't speak, I wasn't crying, I just was numb I just couldn't get words or emotion out.
How do you ladies go about day-to-day life without letting this consume you?
xxx

 

[alexanne89]

Geebug, I also would love to hear how everyone deals with situations like that! Sorry you had to deal with all of that especially in one weekend! One of my best friends had a baby two months ago (they weren't even TTC) and I still haven't gotten the courage to visit. The excuse I'm using right now is that I'm waiting until everyone else gets their visits in (which is a crappy excuse). I remember when I first heard she was pregnant I cried and it took me two weeks before I could contact her and say congrats. I don't mean to be such a crappy friend but it's so tough!

 

[ashleighstrou]

I wish I had good advice about how to handle being around other pregnant couples or new parents... I just allow myself to cry in the comfort of my home. I'm also thankful for a best friend who is not pregnant, or even trying to be pregnant (she's single), so being around her is like a breath of fresh air. I went out with her the other day to get my hair cut and to go out for lunch, and BOTH my stylist and my server were pregnant. I allowed myself a glass of wine with lunch (I'm generally abstaining as my husband and I are trying) and a good cry once I got home. I share my frustrations with my husband, but he takes a fix-it approach rather than just letting me vent - "We'll just try again next month" or "It'll happen when it happens." Those words aren't untrue, but they're just not helping me right now. I was ready to bet $1000 that I was pregnant last month based on my symptoms - nausea, sore boobs, heightened smell (I could smell the cologne on the guy in the car in front of me as I was driving to work one day - no joke!), metal mouth... everything except a positive pregnancy test. Both urine and blood tests were negative - all seven tests that I took in the last three weeks. I just wish I knew either way if I was pregnant or not, although my symptoms have disappeared over the past few days so I'm thinking if there was something there, it's gone. I'm just waiting for my period in a week or so to give me some kind of sign. I'm trying to keep my cool and stay calm, especially around other people, but it's hard when my younger sister didn't even try for my nephew - he was a surprise. And, of course, Facebook reminds me of all the friends I have who are pregnant or have just had their babies. It kills me. Thanks for the space to rant.

 

[Gagrlinpitt]

So ladies as an update.. I got my bfp last week.. July 31, then August 5 I realized it was a CP as I miscarried. That was my first ever bfp and I'm just so sad. We are trying again.. But part of me is terrified...

 

[ashleighstrou]

Gagrlinpitt: I read that CPs are way more common than we think... up to a quarter or a third of pregnancies? Not that it makes it any easier to cope with... I just wish I had been given more complete information before trying to get pregnant, that it's not as easy as our high school health classes made it out to be, so I might be less surprised when it doesn't work out when I expect it to. Sending you positive thoughts!

 

[Gagrlinpitt]

Gagrlinpitt: I read that CPs are way more common than we think... up to a quarter or a third of pregnancies? Not that it makes it any easier to cope with... I just wish I had been given more complete information before trying to get pregnant, that it's not as easy as our high school health classes made it out to be, so I might be less surprised when it doesn't work out when I expect it to. Sending you positive thoughts!

They are very common. I worked in ob for five years and I've seen just about everything, I think that's pay off my problem is I've seen the worst. But I'm just going to trust in God and know that everything will work out the way it's supposed to.

 

[alexanne89]

So ladies as an update.. I got my bfp last week.. July 31, then August 5 I realized it was a CP as I miscarried. That was my first ever bfp and I'm just so sad. We are trying again.. But part of me is terrified...

So sorry to hear this Gagrlinpitt! I didn't know that CPs were so common. Makes me think that if I ever get a BFP, I won't allow myself to get excited until it's confirmed.

 

[Mrshilliard]

I am new to this, but I am ttc #1 and am 8 days late no sign of af and I keep getting bfn

 

[NannySarah]

Tomorrow I have to go to a baby shower for dh's friend and his "wife" (they aren't married but refer to each other as such) and I feel sick about it. I tried to get out of it but my husband has been neglecting this friend a bit and knows he would be hurt if we weren't both there. A part of me understands that and wants to make my husband happy by making his friend happy, but a part of me really just wants to say screw their feelings! I have only met this woman once, we don't speak the same language and therefore have never held an actual conversation, and as horrible as it sounds, I can't feel happy for her. All of his friends have recently knocked up their new wives/girlfriends, and they have all said "it took a while, you know, 3 or 4 months!" when dh tells them we're having trouble conceiving. The only good thing about this is that we have a birthday party to attend as well, so we won't stay long, and I'll be seeing one of my best friends who knows what kind of hell I'm in right now and actually listens!

Ok. That felt good.

 

[Geebug x]

Tomorrow I have to go to a baby shower for dh's friend and his "wife" (they aren't married but refer to each other as such) and I feel sick about it. I tried to get out of it but my husband has been neglecting this friend a bit and knows he would be hurt if we weren't both there. A part of me understands that and wants to make my husband happy by making his friend happy, but a part of me really just wants to say screw their feelings! I have only met this woman once, we don't speak the same language and therefore have never held an actual conversation, and as horrible as it sounds, I can't feel happy for her. All of his friends have recently knocked up their new wives/girlfriends, and they have all said "it took a while, you know, 3 or 4 months!" when dh tells them we're having trouble conceiving. The only good thing about this is that we have a birthday party to attend as well, so we won't stay long, and I'll be seeing one of my best friends who knows what kind of hell I'm in right now and actually listens!

Ok. That felt good.

Huge hugs.

OH is meeting up with his friends this weekend but I already have plans on a Hen do so I can't go and I am secretly over the moon xx

 

[Gagrlinpitt]

So my nephew was born yesterday.. My brother in law got a girl pregnant back in December whom they were just fooling around and although they are dating now, it literally was so hard to be at the hospital yesterday holding him and knowing two and a half weeks ago I lost my baby. I held it together until we left and I got in the car.. Then I let loose and balled like a baby.. I know our time is coming and I'm very happy he's here.. But man did that being out the jealousy monster in a big way.

 

[Inkedlady88]

We've been trying for 13 months now with zero luck. After getting dx'd with several causes of our infertility and presented with treatment options, I feel as though I'm more or less in this by myself. OH has the "fa-la-la if it's meant to happen, it will happen attitude" while I have done my due diligence to research all of the statistics and options as far as treatment goes but feel less than supported as OH just seems to be going along with the plan of action, but not making a whole lot of effort.

Infuriatingly enough, I got a positive OPK last night and couldn't even schedule an IUI for today because OH was going to be out of town running an obstacle course race. We're also going to have to squash next month as well due to us being out of town for another race during my fertile window.

I'm starting to feel getting pregnant will never happen.

 

[Gagrlinpitt]

AF came yesterday 5 weeks after my mc.. Ready to begin again

 

[crazy4baby1]

Ok ladies so yesterday I was 12 dpo and tested and got a BFP with faint line on dollar tree's Assured test, and then today i'm 13 dpo tested with FMU and BFN with no faint line CM is watery and a cloudy white tmi but it happens. Blood test tomorrow but for now I need assurance that this is my month

 

[Cheshire.cat]

Thanks, we have been speaking and he is keen on going to have it checked out. I am currently 4 days late something might have done the trick. Holding thumbs

 

[madme03]

I had such a confusing cycle, all the signs, bbt stayed up. Then I had AF arrive late, but it only lasted 2 days and my temps stayed elevated, my cervix has stayed high, closed and soft and my cm is still creamy. I had nothing but bfns.
I think my biggest qualm is how much our bodies can play with our minds. Makes you almost convinced you're pregnant and then the let down.
I also hate evap and ghost lines on pregnancy tests... too many of those this month.

 

[GLS88]

I really just need to vent...I'm at the end of my second cycle TTC #1 and just started seeing some brown spotting. I know this means AF is around the corner and I'm out this month. I know I really can't complain too much because it's only the second month, but the waiting is just horrible and then when you get all the good "signs" and nothing comes of it...well it's really overwhelming. And I'm feeling so annoyed at my OH as he already has two beautiful girls from his first marriage, neither were planned and their birth mother is probably the worst mother I've ever met. Turns out she was secretly abusing the older child and really neglecting the youngest whenever my OH was at work. So how is it that someone like that can get pregnant by accident TWICE and not even love her children the way a mother should when I am so desperate to have a baby and love them with everything I have?! I love his daughters so much and they already call me Mummy, but I feel so frustrated that I can't just get pregnant like their birth mother did. *End rant*

 

[BelleNuit]

GLS in all likelihood you will get pregnant shortly. Probably in the next cycle or 2. Which to be honest is very quick in the grand scheme of things. I thought it would happen quick for me and here I am, 15 cycles later and no one can figure out why I'm not getting pregnant (f'ing unexplained inferitlity)

But this is a safe place to vent, and TTC is frustrating at all stages, so vent away I work in pediatric mental health and can certainly understand the frustration of seeing people who don't take care of their kids get pregnant easily.

Good luck to you

 

[2Girls2Babies]

I am 2 weeks away from TTC for the first time! My fiancé and I are super excited
Has anyone TTC doing AI at home?

 

[WayPastReady]

I am 2 weeks away from TTC for the first time! My fiancé and I are super excited
Has anyone TTC doing AI at home?

Hi! My DH and I have been TTC for over 2.5 years but just did our first AI (ICI) at home with frozen donor sperm yesterday. I'm wondering if we got the timing right since we only did 2 inseminations...guess I'll find out in a couple weeks. Good luck to you!

I have a thread going under the assisted reproduction category if you'd like to join us.
https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/a...ing-all-donor-sperm-insemination-buddies.html