Trying To Conceive #1 Only Vent Thread

[WayPastReady]

Hi ladies!

I posted on this thread a year or two ago (that's a depressing thought) and am back to vent some more feelings. DH and I have been ttc for so long that I've lost count of the cycles...it's been over 2.5 years and closer to 3 now. My sister got pregnant, 3 months after getting married and saying that they wanted to wait until next year to start trying, then suddenly they changed their mind and BAM pregnant on the first cycle without even really trying. I was initially shocked at the news and how she revealed it to us was not at all considerate of how we might take the news (she is aware of our ltttc.) She told us by calling me and telling me that she had a gift that she wanted to stop by and give me...then whipped out her pregnancy test and told us she was giving us a niece or nephew. My DH and I almost fell over, but we hid it very well and acted super happy for her, even though it took me a few days for those feeling to turn genuine. I would never wish the pain of ttc on anyone.

Now, she's currently 25 weeks pregnant and has had an uncomplicated pregnancy so far, but she constantly complains so much that I have never heard her say one positive thing about being pregnant. She's been saying for weeks that she's "done" being pregnant and "over it". I feel like she's being so ungrateful that she's able to get pregnant so easily and carry a child to term (most likely) without issue. It's like she's not even aware that people have difficulties getting pregnant, have miscarriages, stillbirths, etc. And of all people to be complaining to, don't complain to me!!! Ugh, I really can't even believe that she would have the nerve to say one negative thing about being pregnant to me, and yet she does it ALL THE TIME. She will even call me just to complain about being pregnant. I haven't called her on it yet, but I'm almost to the point where I'm going to say something about her needing to be grateful for being able to get pregnant and carry a baby without issue. Unfortunately, I think most women who don't struggle take it for granted. In a way, I think the biggest blessing of struggling to conceive is how much more we appreciate our babies.

Anyway, just needed to get that off my chest and share it with people who understand the struggle.

Hi! I have been reading this site for what feels like forever, but never had the courage to register or post. I came across your post and just had to say I completely understand where you are coming from. We have been trying to conceive for close to 2 years now (1 year just not NOT trying, 6 months medically assisted). I have been on 5 rounds of clomid and this month I am set to start ultrasound monitoring and ovidrel shots. My sister (2 years older than me) had no problem getting pregnant with her first son, who is now 3. When she decided she was ready for a second, she didn't get pregnant right away but refused to see a doctor. As soon as she finally did go to a doctor she got pregnant the first month. Now all she does is text me every time she has an ache/pain/sickness. I am getting so tired of it. I am thrilled for her and so glad she is pregnant again but I'm also sad for me and my husband and it stinks to listen to her complain all of the time I don't know how to tell her gently that it is really bothering me without her thinking that I am not happy for her. Praying for your situation!

Hi akc, it's definitely not a fun position to be in. Here we are struggling with our own emotions during this journey and then people say things that are insensitive to our struggle. It's especially worse whenever it's friends or family. I would think your sister would understand what you're feeling a little more since pregnancy #2 didn't happen right off the bat for her, but I guess she forgot about all of that once she got pregnant. As happy as I will be to be pregnant, I don't think I will ever forget the heartache and disappointment that this journey has caused. In a way, I think it's a blessing that has taught me to be very careful about what I say to people. A quote that stands out to be so much these days is this..."Everyone is fighting a battle that you know nothing about." Something like that at least lol. It really puts my struggle and life in general into perspective for me during these journey. Hope you get your miracle soon! Praying for you and everyone else on this thread.

 

[akc701]

Hi ladies!

I posted on this thread a year or two ago (that's a depressing thought) and am back to vent some more feelings. DH and I have been ttc for so long that I've lost count of the cycles...it's been over 2.5 years and closer to 3 now. My sister got pregnant, 3 months after getting married and saying that they wanted to wait until next year to start trying, then suddenly they changed their mind and BAM pregnant on the first cycle without even really trying. I was initially shocked at the news and how she revealed it to us was not at all considerate of how we might take the news (she is aware of our ltttc.) She told us by calling me and telling me that she had a gift that she wanted to stop by and give me...then whipped out her pregnancy test and told us she was giving us a niece or nephew. My DH and I almost fell over, but we hid it very well and acted super happy for her, even though it took me a few days for those feeling to turn genuine. I would never wish the pain of ttc on anyone.

Now, she's currently 25 weeks pregnant and has had an uncomplicated pregnancy so far, but she constantly complains so much that I have never heard her say one positive thing about being pregnant. She's been saying for weeks that she's "done" being pregnant and "over it". I feel like she's being so ungrateful that she's able to get pregnant so easily and carry a child to term (most likely) without issue. It's like she's not even aware that people have difficulties getting pregnant, have miscarriages, stillbirths, etc. And of all people to be complaining to, don't complain to me!!! Ugh, I really can't even believe that she would have the nerve to say one negative thing about being pregnant to me, and yet she does it ALL THE TIME. She will even call me just to complain about being pregnant. I haven't called her on it yet, but I'm almost to the point where I'm going to say something about her needing to be grateful for being able to get pregnant and carry a baby without issue. Unfortunately, I think most women who don't struggle take it for granted. In a way, I think the biggest blessing of struggling to conceive is how much more we appreciate our babies.

Anyway, just needed to get that off my chest and share it with people who understand the struggle.

Hi! I have been reading this site for what feels like forever, but never had the courage to register or post. I came across your post and just had to say I completely understand where you are coming from. We have been trying to conceive for close to 2 years now (1 year just not NOT trying, 6 months medically assisted). I have been on 5 rounds of clomid and this month I am set to start ultrasound monitoring and ovidrel shots. My sister (2 years older than me) had no problem getting pregnant with her first son, who is now 3. When she decided she was ready for a second, she didn't get pregnant right away but refused to see a doctor. As soon as she finally did go to a doctor she got pregnant the first month. Now all she does is text me every time she has an ache/pain/sickness. I am getting so tired of it. I am thrilled for her and so glad she is pregnant again but I'm also sad for me and my husband and it stinks to listen to her complain all of the time I don't know how to tell her gently that it is really bothering me without her thinking that I am not happy for her. Praying for your situation!

Hi akc, it's definitely not a fun position to be in. Here we are struggling with our own emotions during this journey and then people say things that are insensitive to our struggle. It's especially worse whenever it's friends or family. I would think your sister would understand what you're feeling a little more since pregnancy #2 didn't happen right off the bat for her, but I guess she forgot about all of that once she got pregnant. As happy as I will be to be pregnant, I don't think I will ever forget the heartache and disappointment that this journey has caused. In a way, I think it's a blessing that has taught me to be very careful about what I say to people. A quote that stands out to be so much these days is this..."Everyone is fighting a battle that you know nothing about." Something like that at least lol. It really puts my struggle and life in general into perspective for me during these journey. Hope you get your miracle soon! Praying for you and everyone else on this thread.

That was my exact thought. I really thought she would be sensitive and understanding (she was afraid to even tell me when she got a BFP after all), but it is like her memory of the struggle when right out the window when she became pregnant and she doesn't attempt to be sensitive anymore. I can definitely agree that this whole process has given me a new perspective. I NEVER ask others if they are planning to have kids or even make jokes about it anymore. You never know what someone is going through and what could trigger pain for them. I certainly hope and pray that good things come your way (and everyone else in the thread) this year!

 

[Ragnhild]

Ragnhild....Amen to the avoiding social situations. I have been to so many first birthday parties (friends' children), baby showers, and holiday parties recently that it just makes me want to scream. Every single one of them someone does the "now when are y'all going to have one of your own?" and I cringe.

Hey akc,
Completely agree with waypast and hope the situation with your sister improves. I can't relate to that personally but I'm with you when it comes to the awkward social situations when people say something stupid and I'm fighting tears and trying to remain calm. Fx for everyone so we don't have to deal with these situations for much lonnger!!

 

[akc701]

I think maybe I have a sign on my head that says "infertile, please ask about my life." haha A maintenance guy at my work just asked me when I am going to have kids and said "You're closing in on 30, better get to it..."

Woah.

 

[Ragnhild]

I think maybe I have a sign on my head that says "infertile, please ask about my life." haha A maintenance guy at my work just asked me when I am going to have kids and said "You're closing in on 30, better get to it..."

Woah.

Ouch! That was uncalled for. Although I've stopped paying attention to strangers' comments... It's the ones who should understand and don't that really get to me

 

[S_secret]

I am so cranky and grumpy today. Been ttc for a long time. It's been 7 weeks since our failed iui and our clinic doesn't do any procedures in dec because of the holidays so I was on bcp for two weeks. Then off for a week and back on for another two weeks. Over it already. Just want to get started. I know there is still a lot of waiting. Baseline appt Monday then wait to see if we should start stims Tuesday then wait to see how body reacts then wait to see if egg retrieval goes well then wait to see if they fertilize then wait to see if embryos develop then wait to put back in then wait to see f implantation occurs then wait wait wait. I know I know one day at a time. I know I know it will be 9 more months of waiting if it works. I know I know. Just ranting. Just cranky. Just feeling annoyed and alone because none of my other friends have infertility problems. I know it will all be worth it. Blech. Feel a bit better now lol

 

[WayPastReady]

I am so cranky and grumpy today. Been ttc for a long time. It's been 7 weeks since our failed iui and our clinic doesn't do any procedures in dec because of the holidays so I was on bcp for two weeks. Then off for a week and back on for another two weeks. Over it already. Just want to get started. I know there is still a lot of waiting. Baseline appt Monday then wait to see if we should start stims Tuesday then wait to see how body reacts then wait to see if egg retrieval goes well then wait to see if they fertilize then wait to see if embryos develop then wait to put back in then wait to see f implantation occurs then wait wait wait. I know I know one day at a time. I know I know it will be 9 more months of waiting if it works. I know I know. Just ranting. Just cranky. Just feeling annoyed and alone because none of my other friends have infertility problems. I know it will all be worth it. Blech. Feel a bit better now lol

Waiting is the absolute worst! At least once we get pregnant, the 9 months of waiting will be directed towards anticipation and excitement instead of worry and wondering if it'll ever happen. I, like you, don't have any close friends who are dealing with infertility either, so BnB has been somewhat of a lifesaver. Best of luck to you on your IVF journey!

 

[Nita2806]

Hi Ladies.

I woukd just like to vent a little. Its been juat over 10 months of TTC #1 and I havent Ovulated in about 2 years. I am using provera to induce AF and currently trying Clomid. This is my 3rd round on Clomid(first 2 rounds no ovulation), and I dont have any hopes for the current cycle...I mean how can I even try to get pregnant if I cant even Ovulate

I have a few friends that fell pregnant in the last few months (most of them didnt even plan it), so its just BFP announcements all over. So I am just really sad. My cousin got married after me, and she already had her babies(twins) and my parents in law have been hinting for grandchildren, probably thinking we dont to give them grandchildren, meanwhile I am trying my best.

 

[WayPastReady]

Hi Ladies.

I woukd just like to vent a little. Its been juat over 10 months of TTC #1 and I havent Ovulated in about 2 years. I am using provera to induce AF and currently trying Clomid. This is my 3rd round on Clomid(first 2 rounds no ovulation), and I dont have any hopes for the current cycle...I mean how can I even try to get pregnant if I cant even Ovulate

I have a few friends that fell pregnant in the last few months (most of them didnt even plan it), so its just BFP announcements all over. So I am just really sad. My cousin got married after me, and she already had her babies(twins) and my parents in law have been hinting for grandchildren, probably thinking we dont to give them grandchildren, meanwhile I am trying my best.

So sorry to hear of all the troubles you're having, Nita. It's certainly frustrating when our bodies won't cooperate, but it sounds like you're very aware of your cycles if you know you're not ovulating. Have the drs given you a reason for not ovulating? Might be worth seeking out an acupuncturist or functional medicine doc to work with at the same time to hopefully help give you a clearer picture of what's going on with your body, if you haven't already gotten that. Sometimes the medicines force but don't fix the problem. Hope I didn't overstep, just wanted to share in case it can help you.

Anyway, I certainly understand what it's like to see BFP's all over the place except on my hpt's. I've been ttc for almost 3 years, so it seems like everyone I know has had children during that time and some are on their second.

Hang in there! Our time is coming, and we'll appreciate it all the more.

 

[Ragnhild]

So sorry to hear of all the troubles you're having, Nita. It's certainly frustrating when our bodies won't cooperate, but it sounds like you're very aware of your cycles if you know you're not ovulating. Have the drs given you a reason for not ovulating? Might be worth seeking out an acupuncturist or functional medicine doc to work with at the same time to hopefully help give you a clearer picture of what's going on with your body, if you haven't already gotten that. Sometimes the medicines force but don't fix the problem. Hope I didn't overstep, just wanted to share in case it can help you.

Anyway, I certainly understand what it's like to see BFP's all over the place except on my hpt's. I've been ttc for almost 3 years, so it seems like everyone I know has had children during that time and some are on their second.

Hang in there! Our time is coming, and we'll appreciate it all the more.

Totally agree with you Nita, it's hard to cope when the situation around is the opposite of where you are and there's nothing you can really do except wait.
And thanks for that Waypast... Really needed to hear it even though the reply was for Nita. It's really starting to feel as though it will never happen for us. In the beginning my DH wanted more time and to have more savings.. Everyone around me was already talking about ttc then and I was mad at him in a way but I understood because I never thought it'd be this hard when we actually got there. We are already ltttc now and even though other things have settled the ttc wait is endless. Those same friends' kids are in school now. I not only feel completely left out but also like there is nothing common with anyone anymore. I mostly avoid social gatherings now and ttc has started to feel like a drag. Even the excitement and hope I felt with each cycle in the start is now only full of desperation, frustration and helplessness. Sorry for this negative rant, but just wanted to say thanks for your post... It gave me some hope again

 

[BelleNuit]

Ragnhild I can relate to that sense of social isolation and not having much in common with friends anymore. It seems like all of my friends are pregnant or have kids and it's all they want to talk about. I actively avoid social situations where I have to see babies (sad but true). I've started trying to foster friendships with childfree couples as a result.

I still hold out some hope that it will happen for me eventually. Reading up on unexplained infertility stats we have about a 45% chance of conceiving naturally at some point in the next year (based on our own factors). After 2 years an additional 20% of couples will conceive naturally, another 10% will conceive with some sort of ART.

I don't know if anyone here is struggling with the hopeless and frustration of unexplained infertility, but if you are I just want to let you know that not all hope is lost, in all likelihood you will get there eventually, and so will I.

 

[Ragnhild]

Thanks bellenuit... Really needed to hear that. After more than 4 years it just feels like a constant state of limbo. But talking to people in these forums has given me some hope and courage. Fx for you and everyone struggling with unexplained fertility... Hope it happens for us all sooner rather than later

 

[Nita2806]

Hi Ladies.

I woukd just like to vent a little. Its been juat over 10 months of TTC #1 and I havent Ovulated in about 2 years. I am using provera to induce AF and currently trying Clomid. This is my 3rd round on Clomid(first 2 rounds no ovulation), and I dont have any hopes for the current cycle...I mean how can I even try to get pregnant if I cant even Ovulate

I have a few friends that fell pregnant in the last few months (most of them didnt even plan it), so its just BFP announcements all over. So I am just really sad. My cousin got married after me, and she already had her babies(twins) and my parents in law have been hinting for grandchildren, probably thinking we dont to give them grandchildren, meanwhile I am trying my best.

So sorry to hear of all the troubles you're having, Nita. It's certainly frustrating when our bodies won't cooperate, but it sounds like you're very aware of your cycles if you know you're not ovulating. Have the drs given you a reason for not ovulating? Might be worth seeking out an acupuncturist or functional medicine doc to work with at the same time to hopefully help give you a clearer picture of what's going on with your body, if you haven't already gotten that. Sometimes the medicines force but don't fix the problem. Hope I didn't overstep, just wanted to share in case it can help you.

Anyway, I certainly understand what it's like to see BFP's all over the place except on my hpt's. I've been ttc for almost 3 years, so it seems like everyone I know has had children during that time and some are on their second.

Hang in there! Our time is coming, and we'll appreciate it all the more.

Thanks for your reply, sometimes it feels like I am alone, but this forum has helped me so much. Regarding whats wrong with me, I dont know. Not Oing is usually associated with PCOS, but I have not been diagnosed with PCOS. My doctor did indicate that I have a lot of small follicles and my doctor has a plan...she is a bit old school but one of the best I believe. My doctor also said she will get me pregnant, so I am hopeful. I have another appointment in 2 weeks, so we will discuss further options...

 

[Sleia]

Hi lovelies!
My vent is that this tww is so killer. I feel like it draaaaaaags im a POAS addict too. Well i was with the opks. Im holding back from the HPTs cus im only 5dpo!!!! Ive noticed ive been feeling extremely sad since yesterday, because of having doubts about things that have nothing to do with trying for baby. Hopefully its preg symptoms. Ehhh lol

 

[gradschoolmum]

Seriously tired of people saying "it'll happen when you least expect it" or "you just can't stress about it". That makes me mOre stressed!

 

[S_secret]

Seriously tired of people saying "it'll happen when you least expect it" or "you just can't stress about it". That makes me mOre stressed!

Oh I love those lol. Or "if you just relax and have fun it will work" or "why don't you just adopt". Oh people...

 

[WayPastReady]

I'm either getting a huge test on how to be happy for someone else or being slapped in the face...again. One of my friends who has a less than 2.5 year old son and a 3 month old baby just told me she's pregnant again and due in September. Seriously?!?! How is it possible that she's getting blessed with her third pregnancy in 3 years, and I've yet to get one???? End rant.

 

[Ragnhild]

I'm either getting a huge test on how to be happy for someone else or being slapped in the face...again. One of my friends who has a less than 2.5 year old son and a 3 month old baby just told me she's pregnant again and due in September. Seriously?!?! How is it possible that she's getting blessed with her third pregnancy in 3 years, and I've yet to get one???? End rant.

Hi Waypast, I can really relate to how you feel. Friends who are younger and with more health problems already have or are on their way to their second, and here not only is the ttc struggle itself draining, it's also wreaking havoc with other aspects of my life. Sometimes really feels like nothing is going well, but if I take it one thing at a time instead of letting my mind run all over the place, I find it easier to deal. and fx for you for the next cycle. Hope you get your bfp soon!

 

[akc701]

Has anyone done the Ovidrel shot (without IUI). I am on my 5th cycle of Clomid and had my first Ovidrel shot following a follicle check on Monday, 1/9. It has made me feel so crappy Wondering what anyone else's experience with it has been like.

 

[TTConorb435]

Feel like I need to let this out before I explode!!! it's been 1 year since TTC and every month and every time I hear a friend of mine who incidentally got married after me and hubby are already expecting, I feel more hopeless and sad each time. At least, for the past years, I would just tell myself to wait as I had been regularly ovulating and getting my period on time and my husband and I would try within my fertile window. However, for 7 days now, I still have not gotten my period despite getting/feeling all my usual PMS. Since this is the first time I have ever missed my period this long, I decided to take a pregnancy test 2 days after my expected period date. Alas, PT was merely a faint line that appeared after the 3 minute mark written on the home pregnancy kit. I read online that any result after the time mark written on the box (no matter how short or long after the time mark) is unreliable so I just took as a negative. Day 5 came and still no AF so I took another test and came out the same way. This is so confusing and so worrisome at the same time as I have been doing some research online on why my period has not come and my research has led me to chemical pregnancy (sad!), unviable pregnancies(super sad), ectopic pregnancy (wth?! no please!) and even perimenopause!!! I did not even know that one can menopause within the age of 30 albeit rare! I took a test again last night and same thing!!! i am now on day 7 of no period but with usual PMS and still no period. I don't think its sensible for me to take another home pregnancy test when the results do not help me at all as the stupid faint line that keeps on appearing after the 3 minute mark is totally confusing! omg! I am feeling worried and sad and hopeless!! A part of me wants to see my OB but a part of me scared as she might say that I have PCOS or whatever. She cleared me of PCOS and endometriosis in the past but considering the circumstances, I no longer know what to think!!! I hate this. Ok fine, if I am not pregnant then fine but adding the fact that I am not getting my period despite PMS and super not helpful hpt results are killing me!!! this whole TTC is getting harder and harder esp when friends who got married after us inform us they are expecting. I mean, I am happy for them but our situation just kills me! I dont understand why people who are not even trying at all get pregnant with so much ease and here we are wanting and ready to become parents to no avail despite prayers and faith!! uggghhhh!!! Just needed to let this out.