Trying To Conceive #1 Only Vent Thread

[Sasha92]

Hello Ladies!

You women are incredibly strong, i don't know how half of you are still going. i have been TTC since October and got my 4th BFN today and I have been a unconscionable wreck. Tears all day at work to the point i had to leave early, as i was sick of everybody asking if i was ok. Even though i haven't been TTC for very long i have wanted my own family and i've been actively searching for the perfect person since i was 18/19 so now i finally have them and this process is proving much more difficult than i expected it to be I'm very disheartened.

Nobody in my family has every had any problems convincing (I'm one of 9 Children on my dads side and my mom had two other children when she was 35 & 38 first time trying with both) just as an example so i never even considered i would be in this situation. I know they say it can take 6-12 months for a healthy couple to have a child but i don't know anybody who has even had to try and everybody i know is either pregnant or have children. i have 3 childless friends and they are all childless by choice.

I'm so worried i may have a medical problem or may never be able to have children and its affecting my everyday life. I think I'm going to ask my GP to refer me to counselling/therapy to help me deal with all these emotions as my other half is useless and doesn't understand why I'm "beating myself up" over this.

I know I'm being stupid and maybe it's today's high emotions that are making me feel like i need external help but i also feel like i have nobody to turn to when i need to cry or express how I'm feeling, my friends try to be supportive but i can tell they just don't know what to say and i feel guilty to put them in that situation...

I haven't got the point of jealousy yet, i have 5 wonderful godchildren and many more nieces and nephews and i love them all dearly everybody says I'll be a great mum and every people at work comment at how good i am if children every come into my work place but I'm just getting so fed up with trying so hard and getting nowhere.. when will it end.

 

[mwmom]

So this is my first post, I just joined this forum and I'm still learning so all advice is welcome. Okay, now to vent.

I'm in my third month TTC. It's been a rough road to say the very least. I started this venture with a partner but it proved too difficult for her too fast, so now I'm going it alone. What am I venting about today? BABIES EVERYWHERE. I feel SO guilty for being so jealous and so annoyed at all the babies I'm surrounded by. My seventeen year old brother and his girlfriend had an "oops" and my nephew is seven weeks old. I absolutely adore them but I feel so envious and annoyed that it was -seemingly- so easy for them. Maybe this is compounded because I'm a lesbian so I literally don't have the option for an "oops". Also, my best friend just had not one, but two babies. Yep. Identical twin boys. I don't know I just don't know how to kick these jealous feelings and it makes me feel rotten when I should just be happy for them. I'm sure I'm preaching to the choir here but it helps to "say" it where I know people know how I feel.

 

[mwmom]

I should probably rephrase something - I am not annoyed AT the babies around me, I love them all with my whole heart and they make me so happy when I'm with them. I'm just annoyed at the situation I'm in where it feels like everyone but me has everything I want so badly.

 

[mwmom]

Oh that's just rotten. I'm so sorry. I don't think you'd be wrong to tell her how you're feeling. Hang in there. Love and baby dust to you.

 

[newlychained9]

Hello Ladies!

You women are incredibly strong, i don't know how half of you are still going. i have been TTC since October and got my 4th BFN today and I have been a unconscionable wreck. Tears all day at work to the point i had to leave early, as i was sick of everybody asking if i was ok. Even though i haven't been TTC for very long i have wanted my own family and i've been actively searching for the perfect person since i was 18/19 so now i finally have them and this process is proving much more difficult than i expected it to be I'm very disheartened.

Nobody in my family has every had any problems convincing (I'm one of 9 Children on my dads side and my mom had two other children when she was 35 & 38 first time trying with both) just as an example so i never even considered i would be in this situation. I know they say it can take 6-12 months for a healthy couple to have a child but i don't know anybody who has even had to try and everybody i know is either pregnant or have children. i have 3 childless friends and they are all childless by choice.

I'm so worried i may have a medical problem or may never be able to have children and its affecting my everyday life. I think I'm going to ask my GP to refer me to counselling/therapy to help me deal with all these emotions as my other half is useless and doesn't understand why I'm "beating myself up" over this.

I know I'm being stupid and maybe it's today's high emotions that are making me feel like i need external help but i also feel like i have nobody to turn to when i need to cry or express how I'm feeling, my friends try to be supportive but i can tell they just don't know what to say and i feel guilty to put them in that situation...

I haven't got the point of jealousy yet, i have 5 wonderful godchildren and many more nieces and nephews and i love them all dearly everybody says I'll be a great mum and every people at work comment at how good i am if children every come into my work place but I'm just getting so fed up with trying so hard and getting nowhere.. when will it end.

I too am 24 years old and afraid I am just unable to conceive its like everyone else in my family gets pregnant but me!!!! My husband and I keep telling oursleves maybe its not our time but honestly i feel like loosing hope and faith i pray for you too we are an interracial couple ourselves whoop whoop!!!!

 

[Sasha92]

I too am 24 years old and afraid I am just unable to conceive its like everyone else in my family gets pregnant but me!!!! My husband and I keep telling oursleves maybe its not our time but honestly i feel like loosing hope and faith i pray for you too we are an interracial couple ourselves whoop whoop!!!!

Whoop whoop! Its so frustrating isn't it. I honestly though it would just happen, the amount of people who get pregnant from one night stands etc its just such a shame.

Hopefully we both get BFPs soon!

 

[FrancoisBaby]

In the same boat! 6 months TTC and just found out I'm not ovulating. The DR keeps using phrases like "women my age" it's so frustrating! My aunt who is 40 just had a baby by a one night stand!! I don't get why this is so hard for me!! Baby dust to you all!!!

 

[FrancoisBaby]

I'm 27 for those who want to know! 😊😊

 

[Nita2806]

francoisbaby - we are in the same boat, found out after 6 months of TTC that I am not Ovulating - it seems like a common issue if I look at all the posts about it. Luckily its one of the easiest infertility issue to 'fix' or unless you dont respond well to Clomid/Femara.

Clomid is making me crazy - although it did make me ovulate - I will be going for surgery instead.

Goodluck - I hope you find something that works for you

 

[Ragnhild]

I'm 27 for those who want to know! 😊😊

Francoisbaby i know this is a vent thread and you prolly dont want advice but i would suggest change your doctor asap!!! You want someone who respects and listens to you... just this one comment suggests that if you're in for a long ride with fertility treatments, this dr doesn't sound like someone i'd stick with.

 

[smurphy90]

Hi ladies! I wanted to pop my head in here. I'm only a TTC newbie, but with insanely irregular periods (I'm on CD 81 right now) it's really disheartening and frustrating. We're technically only in month 1 of TTC, but that's partly because I have no way of knowing when I ovulate. I just began temping a month ago, and I think I caught an O on Feb 5th. My temps are looking excellent. But if so, I'm now 13 dpo and still getting BFNs.

It's just getting me really down thinking about how freaking hard this road already is, and I've only taken a couple steps.

 

[BelleNuit]

Smurphy if I were you I'd go to the doc asap and say that you aren't ovulating and ask for clomid. You already know you have pcos so it's not a stretch. I would also make sure you get the hypothyroidism treated if you haven't already as that can make things more difficult too! If you already know there are issues then don't make it any harder on yourself then it has to be lots of women here have successful pregnancies once they get ovulating! And luckily it's a fairly easy problem to fix! I wish I had pcos instead of being unexplained so that something as simple as clomid/femara would work for me! Good luck to you

 

[smurphy90]

I've been on hypothyroid treatments since August. They began to help. I got two 50 day cycles after beginning them, but I think another medication that I started just before my last cycle (for something else) was completely stopping me from ovulating. Judging by my BBT chart, I ovulated one week after I stopped that medication.

I had an appointment with my OB/gyn on Monday and he's running blood tests. It's the first appointment where I've really gone in saying, "Yes, we want to get pregnant," so we haven't even discussed fertility treatments or medication, yet. Just looking for underlying causes. I go back to see him on Wednesday to discuss the results. We'll see what he says this week. It seems likely that he'll refer me to an RE, but maybe it'll be something that he can manage. FX

We don't want help inducing ovulation quite yet. It seemed like my body was beginning to balance after the thyroid meds, so I'm hoping this cycle is a fluke with that other med causing it to be so long. So I don't want to use Clomid or anything quite yet. I don't tend to bring up not wanting medications yet, unless it's mentioned. I've had some bad experiences on other forums with long-time TTCers getting extremely mad at me for not being "all in." I don't consider myself as NTNP, because we do try to time sex and track ovulation. Timing-wise, it would just be a bit better for us to get pregnant later in the year so we're holding off for a few more months, but if we can do it without help before then, we will be elated.

Unless FF is wrong, I'm 13 dpo right now. I have no idea what my lp is, as this is my first month tracking consistently. So I should either expect AF or a BFP in the next few days. Hopefully my temps aren't just a weird coincidence... they look pretty good though.

 

[BelleNuit]

I think that makes sense smurphy! Sounds like you have a good plan in place I also held off on drugs as long as I could because I just kept hoping it would happen naturally. That's why I'm on my 19th cycle and only just starting femara now. I still don't really expect it to work though. Fertility meds and TI don't really do anything for unexplained. We'll probably have to do IUI or IVF but we're definitely not ready for that yet. I'll probably hold out till the 2 year point before considering IVF. I still hope I won't need more treatment, but it's definitely starting to feel hopeless

 

[smurphy90]

FX that femara does the trick! It must be awful to be unexplained. Kudos for being 19 months in!

Most of my depression stems from the irregular cycles. It just makes me feel really hopeless to not have proof that anything's going on. I know I've only just begun really looking into the causes and into possible solutions. It's just disheartening to not get periods. I went 16 months without one, between Dec '14 and April '16. Six months later, I got another one, seemingly from the thyroid meds, and another in November. So I'd really gotten my hopes up that they were beginning to balance. Now at CD 81, I'm getting so afraid that my temps have nothing to do with my cycle and that it's all just gone again. BFNs don't bum me out as much as a BFM combined with AF never showing.

That said, if FF is right, I'm still only 13 dpo, so either is still in the cards. Still... I'm a pessimist.

 

[BelleNuit]

I'm trying to look at it as a mixed blessing. There is nothing majorly wrong, so hopefully with a bit of help we can be on our way. While it's been 19 cycles, I have short cycles so it's only been 15 months... Only lol. Thankfully with acupuncture my cycles have gotten a bit longer (26-27 days now), so hopefully things are moving in the right direction. 90% of people are pregnant at 18 months and 95% are pregnant by 2 years. Because we are unexplained regardless of whether we pursue treatment or not we have about a 40-50% chance to get pregnant in the next year. If not I guess we'll do IVF and hopefully that will work for us.

I imagine that it would be really difficult to not know what is going on in your cycle. My cycles are so regular I always know within a day when I O. If you aren't ready for meds have you considered herbs or acupuncture? Acupuncture has helped to reduce my PMS and lengthen my short cycles. I've also heard vitex can be good to jump start some people's cycles! I really do hope you'll get some answers soon!

 

[smurphy90]

I've considered Vitex, I've just been a bit hesitant to so far. From some research, you should be cautious using it with PCOS because depending on what is causing your PCOS it can actually make things worse. Since I'm not sure yet which hormones are the problems, I haven't. I'm hoping I remember to ask my ob/gyn on Wednesday. I've been having difficult times finding German doctors (at least English speaking ones) that I find will actually engage with me and answer my questions. It's frustrating.

I'm having a weird dilemma with my temps today (thread in the main TTC board, if you want to look.) So I'm unsure which of my possible temps would make my chart look most accurate. Currently the one I have on for today is the adjusted one, since it's been accurate every time in the past, and I'm assuming the open window (at 4 degrees outside) was the problem. I probably shouldn't worry too much about one day's temp, but I get a bit compulsive with my chart.

Oh... 14 dpo today. No AF signs still, and I forgot to test with fmu. Oops.

 

[January Rain]

Hi all. This is my first time ever posting in a forum like this. Smurphy, I definitely know your struggle. Ever since I got my first period my cycle was every 3-4 months. A few years ago, my ob/gyn sent me to a fertility specialist to see what was going on. After many many uncomfortable tests, he found that I had a blocked fallopian tube and polyps in my uterus. I had surgery to open the tube and remove the polyps and ever since I've had a period every month, but my cycle varies in length from 25-35 days. Even though I've had fairly regular cycles now and DF and I are actively trying, I still haven't gotten that BFP. Af is due next week-ish and I'm having more intense breast pain than I've ever had. I've given up thinking this is our time for a BFP so I figure that I'm in for one hell of a visit from af. The frustration is real; you are not alone! Baby dust to you!

 

[smurphy90]

JanRain - Wow, that's a rough time figuring out what was causing your cycles. I'm still holding out hope that treating my thyroid will be enough. How long ago was your surgery?

I got AF today, after an 83 day cycle, but I truly believe a medication was preventing me from Oing, as one week after I stopped it, I did O. Hopefully my cycles go back to what they were and/or even shorter. I'm actually pretty excited to see AF; who wouldn't be after 83 days without her or a bfp!?

 

[maggie_lass]

If ONE more person says, "stop thinking about it and it will happen"


I will go manic.