Trying To Conceive #1 Only Vent Thread

[ameliarose15]

This past week has been such a roller-coaster. I have to learn to just let myself live my life. Who cares about other people causing drama? I guess I had let it bother me, because I am in a long-term relationship and our only major issue is infertility, and the obvious choice is to drop all the bs and drama. But it turns out that some people just love it when there's always problems, so to heck with them. My husband and I will still hopefully have a family of our own.

 

[smurphy90]

I am so confused and annoyed by my cycles right now. I have a long history of long/absent cycles. I lost them completely for 1.5 years. Got AF once (not sure if ovulatory), and then they went away again for 6 months. They returned after I began medication for hyopthyroid. From the date I began the med to my "first" AF was ~51 days. The next, another ~52. After that another new medication was preventing ovulation. One week after I stopped that med, I O'd on CD 68, making that cycle 83 days long.

I thought, "Okay good," that one medication was messing things up. Now hopefully I'll regulate." Well, it seemed like that was on course. I then had my best cycle yet at 38 days (O on CD 23), in March. Now... I seem to have already O'd on CD 8! So it's looking like I'll have a 24 day cycle. I know this can be normal for some but 1) I've never had a cycle this short in my life and 2) it concerns me that it's so short after they were so long. Now I'm afraid they weren't really improving, but that they were just erratic. I'm also worried about egg quality.

If I did O on CD 8, I have a shot for a BFP because we DTD the day before, and I noticed some fertile cm. I'm just worried that even if I caught an egg, that egg may not even be developed enough.

I'm just getting really annoyed and defeated. I just want my body to freaking work!

 

[BelleNuit]

smurphy I dont think you've O'd yet. your temps are still pretty low so I would keep BDing if I were you. I have had FF change its mind about my O date once more temps are input. It will probably take a little while for your body to regulate, especially if there is pcos in the mix! Its also not the end of the world to use clomid or femara to help things along if you need to, once you're ready

 

[Sasha92]

Most of us in the TTC #1 forum want a child very, very much. For me, it is my career goal. There isn't something as satisfying or important to me. And unlike getting a job in a particular field, I'm not being turned down because I'm unqualified. I'm being turned down because something is wrong with my body. I don't think people get that, who haven't experienced it.

This this this! For me being a mom is everything. It's what makes me wanna get up and go to work and provide for my family. The though of never being a parent just makes me wanna curl up in a ball and cry. I really don't think people understand how it feels to want something so badly and see others who don't want it, don't deserve it, don't appreciate it or just get rid. They just think stop being impatient it will happen when the times right... well why isn't the time now? Why have I been placed on this earth with such a strong maternal urge but unable to fufill such a basic woman task?

It makes me feel abit useless as a female because by nature I should be able to procreate. It's pretty shit even when I try not to let it get me down or stress me out its hard to go a whole 30days hoping and wishing only to have all your dreams shattered and have to try again indefinitely

 

[Kahloolahky]

So ladies, things have gotten SUPER weird for me...

Basically, I'm a diabetic and I was supposed to be put on insulin last month. The diabetic doctor told me I would be able to collect my prescription from my GP Surgery 3 days after the appointment. So I went. The receptionist told me that "the doctor hasn't put a dosage, so you need to contact him". I left a little confused, but didn't think any more of it.

Because of my working hours I'd been unable to contact him, fast forward four weeks...

On Monday night, my period was 14 days late and I had the WEIRDEST discharge ever, literally like pink jelly (ew). SO I called 111 and they told me to see my GP ASAP, so I managed to get an appointment on Wednesday with a nurse. This nurse is the one who has been dealing with my diabetes, so whilst she was taking my blood, I just casually mentioned that I still wasn't on my insulin, so she looked on my records. The diabetic doctor had written:

"Cannot Prescribe Abaslgar because pt is pregnant"

UMM WHAT?!

So, the nurse sent my blood test off and I am just awaiting the results, but I've been doing the maths:

02.03.2017 - Had an internal ultrasound for an ovarian cyst, no baby
09.03.2017 - Had an unusual AF, light and only lasted 4 days
15.03.2017 - Had blood tests for the diabetic doctor
02.04.2017 - Had brown/pink spotting
03.04.2017 - Should have started my period
10.04.2017 - Negative Pregnancy Test
20.04.2017 - Now 17 days late, and numerous negative tests.

I've done some research, and a blood test can pick up HcG from as little as 7 days after conception. and if I am pregnant my baby would be like 0.1 inches in size. So it's all possible.

I AM LOSING THE WILL TO LIVE, Hopefully I will know for definite tomorrow, but like that doctor has withheld this information from me for over a month now. I made like 15 phone calls today trying to find out what is going on, but nobody could give me a straight answer.

 

[MKaykes]

You may want to post a thread under one of the other areas of the board, this one is pretty much venting about the TTC process, you may get some advice from ladies who have diabetes and are pregnant as all of us here are trying to get pregnant.

It sounds like maybe the doctor assumed you knew you were pregnant? I'm not familiar with an insulin Abaslgar, and a Google search didn't bring anything up. But...if you have diabetes and high glucose levels you really need to manage the glucose levels especially during the 1st tri. Can you get in with another physician if this doctor isn't helping you?

 

[LAR83]

Kahloolahky that is one of the strangest things I have ever heard. what the heck? I can't imagine they would have withheld that information intentionally. It seems like they just totally dropped the ball on that one... but either way, that is pretty terrible. I am so confused about how that even happens.

 

[JuliedeMeulie]

Right I know this is horrible but a girl in work got married one week before I did. She just announced that she is now 12 weeks . I am genuinely happy for her but I cant help but want to burst into tears and ask why is it not me. She is also a few years younger than I am.

 

[Siara]

Tomorrow AF is due, i have zero symptoms so far. I am terrified she will come because i've been ttc 7 months now with no luck. I have zero pg symtoms so I don't have much hope left tbh

 

[rkozak15]

So, hubby and I relocated to a new town and state-and the negative people that were in our lives have no idea we even moved!! Awesome-so right now I'm just waiting to see if AF comes and if not I might take a pg test. I mean we've been ttc for 8 years now, it would really be odd if we just happened to succeed the same exact month we moved. But being hopeful all the same.

 

[AmandaGAC]

We're on Cycle #2 and this has been an extra frustrating month. 7 days of "high" on the OPKs and no rise in temps. I'm not sure if I hit the big O or not (FF predicted yesterday). I had some EWCM yesterday evening, but woke up to that stupid flashing smiley face again. I'm only testing through tomorrow and then calling it quits for this month.

 

[Catmc]

Hey everyone,

I'm new to this forum, and to all forums for that matter so I apologize if I do it wrong. My husband and I are TTC and I am currently 7dpo. I think I may be having symptoms but I also think I am just hyper focused on my body right now. I am wondering what the earliest someone has taken a pregnancy test and gotten a positive result is. I'm hoping for that BFP so much but its causing me so much anxiety waiting.

 

[Baby_nr1]

I'm on 4dpo , been feeling pins, some pulling by my ovaries hope it'll be a sticky bean

 

[Qudsi]

This is my first time joining a forum, so I'm not really sure how this works. Normally I just Google things and read posts from other people.

I've been on Birth control pills for about 4 years and came off them at the beginning of the year. DH and I then moved to China, and 9 months ago decided to start trying. I'd stopped my pill about 2 months before that. Anyways my cycles just seemed to get longer until I didn't get it for almost 3 months. Then went to see a Dr and they said I had PCOS and to see a specialist if we are TTC. She put me on birth control pills again for 2 months and in on Metformin.

Last month she said we could try ovarian stimulation (letrozole and injections) and timed intercourse, which we did. Spent a lot of time and money and was super excited. But, only got BFN.

Today is CD3, will go in on Wednesday (also my birthday) for ultrasound and bloods to see if we can try this cycle, which we can only do if there are no large follicles.

This is so emotionally draining. And it really consumes everything. Mentally, emotionally, physically. The worst feeling is that I feel like I'm being punished for a decision I made 4 years ago.

I was just really hoping that the previous cycle would have worked, would have been the best birthday gift and 1st anniversary gift (that's next week Tuesday).

I just hope things work out, I'm losing hope and just feel like I'm going crazy.

- Edited by admin as per the forum rules

 

[LastGirlScout]

I feel the exact way, I just don't say it out loud. I think everyone is pregnant or has had a child but me and I am so running out of time.

 

[L_B]

EVERYONE IS PREGNANT!!! I feel like everywhere I look someone else is pregnant. Fiance's best friend and his significant other have 4 kids, and she's pregnant again. They weren't even trying!!!
So frustrating!!!! We have been "not trying, not preventing" for several years and nothing... This cycle I decided to seriously temp and try to pinpoint ovulation, chart looks promising but I refuse to get my hopes up.
I literally bawled when he told me his friends were expecting again, then I felt horrible because I am happy for everyone I just want it for myself too.

 

[TMA85]

HI Everyone!!

This is my first time joining a forum and have been TTC my first going into 11 months I am really starting to get discouraged. I am 12 dpo today and just started getting AF symptoms. I was so positive this month. Sending baby dust to all of you

 

[Barro]

Sooo sick of MIL and my grandmother bugging me about having kids. We've only been married since May after all, but it's just rude IMO to ask when someone is having kids. I don't want to tell anyone we're trying because of my PCOS and their expectations would be different than reality.

It also seems everyone I've talked to lately has become pregnant/given birth in the last few months. Of course I wouldn't be so lucky but with the changes I'm making to my lifestyle I'm hopeful

 

[CowgirlBaby]

CD 30 had all the symptoms and spotting, on the 1st and 2nd. But got a BFN on a FR. No sign of AF yet so guess I'm not out yet. Just gotta wait and see

 

[Witchy]

Time to vent ladies! I actually found this forum because of this vent thread, read like first 150 pages and it really helped me a lot!

So my rant:

- Nobody is pregnant around me BUT almost all the girls I know who have kids totally ignore their children, call them annoying and spoiled (even tho they are not) and it irks me sooooo much! There are people who would love to have little bundle jumping around the house, and yet here you are, calling your kid a brat even tho the kid is super nice and shy and you never spend any time with them! If they want to spend the little time you spend at home with you, it doesn't mean they are annoying, they just miss their mom and dad.

- small rant about forum: don't ask are you pregnant in TTC #1, how the hell should we know. Some did have BFP before, some didn't, ask in preggers section, they might know. And if somebody asks question about their condition, don't use their thread just to list your symptoms that have nothing in common with OP and then ask - am I pregnant?! Be supportive of each other, we are all hoping every hiccup is BFP but spamming somebody's thread doesn't help.

- rant about my bff - when I told you we were planing to TCC for the first time, you didn't have to start talking about how you are probably going to start to TCC #2 some day and then spend the rest of the time talking about yourself. I see you so rarely because we don't live in the same town, you already have one kid that I adore, we always talk about your kid, so you could have given me 10 minutes to share my excitement and fears. And yeah, you don't know I'm TCC for real now because you "stayed pregnant on 1st try after getting off birth control the 1st time" and I just don't need more of that atm.

- we never shared with family that we are TCC because I don't want constant nagging of "did it happen yet" and fear mongering that if it didn't happen on 1st try that something is wrong. Dad I know you'd love to have grandkid, you've been talking about it for the last 3 years, and I'd love to give you one soon but telling me last time I saw you that "my train has passed" really hurt me. If I had normal family life, I might have started sooner but I wanted stuff to be almost perfect because I don't want kid to grow up poor as I did, with no hot water in the house and nothing for Christmas & birthdays. No, I don't plan to buy my 7 year old new iPhone but some toys would be nice. So don't tell me it's too late because I'm 33. I have enough worries as it is.

And now the thanks, because even tho this is vent thread, I can vent some love too

Hubby, you are best thing that ever happened to me. You are my best friend and biggest support. I'm so happy I can share this TCC with you, that you are not grossed out by all the things I share with you (and you ladies know all the gross facts we learn during the TCC xD ) and I know you'll be the best dad ever to our kids. I hope our kids are as nice and kind and silly as you are and I can't wait for us to go on a new adventures with our little bundle of joy.

Vent over