Trying To Conceive #1 Only Vent Thread

[cntrygrl]

All I can say is UGH!!!!!!!

 

[Fizzyfefe]

My rant for the day has nothing to do with TTC.

I travel for work and stay with my in-laws have the week. They don't have an extra bedroom, so I sleep on the couch. I am SICK of them being inconsiderate. If I am ever awake before anyone, I always make sure to stay quiet - don't slam doors, don't turn on the TV or music, don't do anything that would wake anyone up - but I'll be damned if they don't wake me up most of the time. I don't understand why it's so hard to be considerate. They let the dog out of the cage, and she's so damn hyper that she runs to the couch and rubs up against it and acts like a wild dog. They turn on the TV while I'm still sleeping. They talk loudly. They slam the doors.

SERIOUSLY? I just worked an eight-hour shift, and have to go back again today! The LEAST you could do is let me sleep! I have a hard enough time sleeping on the couch as it as; I toss and turn all freaking night.

So I can't even take my temperature anymore, because my sleep is so disturbed. I end up only getting three accurate temps per week, if that. And I don't see my hubby on the days that I work, so we can't even have sex to try and make a baby. And I'm supposed to start Metformin on Monday, but what's the damn point if we can't have sex and I can't see if I've ovulated?

Ugh.

 

[m4e]

Hello - I'm new here. I've been really discouraged lately and this weekend just topped it off. I just googled "TTC Vent Forum" and this was the first one that came up so here I am. My husband and I have been TTC for almost 3 years (I've been off the pill since then anyways). I'm getting so sick of everyone asking me when I'm going to have kids. My boss used to tell me everyday I needed to hurry up and get pregnant - until I had a little melt down at work and told her how much it bothered me!

Last night, I went to a neighborhood girl's night and once again, I'm the only one in a group of women that doesn't have a kid. And once again, the conversation ALWAYS ends up about kids and there I am just sitting there thinking "well, I have a dog - does that count???"

Last month, my temperature spiked and I had a positive ov test, so I told my dh that we have to do the deed that night. (not very romantic - but hey, neither is taking my temp and peeing on a stick several times a month). His reply to me was "Well, that's not going to work - you make it seem like a chore" WTF?!?! I realize that but why does it always have to be all pleasure for the guys and the women have to do all the work?? Am I the only one that has a husband that just doesn't get it?? All of my friends have kids so no one in my life really "gets it" - thanks for letting me vent!

Hun, we ALL know how you feel. We've been TTC for about 3 years also. It is getting harder and harder, but coming here to vent helps a little, because the women here are going through the same thing. Something that no one in my life can understand.

 

[m4e]

Oh my god, I need to see a counselor so bad... I'm just sinking deeper and deeper into depression. And its starting to spread into other areas of my life, where before I was just depressed about TTC. Even here I feel so lonely sometimes, because I know that if I stick around I will eventually see all of you ladies get pregnant and leave, and I'll be the crazy lady who's been here for 15 years. I'm so heartbroken that the only way I'll ever have a child is if I leave my husband. That is one of the most painful parts, knowing that I could have children and heal my pain, but only by causing him more pain. I wish it was me sometimes, not him, because then I would hate myself instead of always wondering how I ended up where I am. My nasty MIL one time told me that she "needs a grandbaby". I just about strangled her. SHE "needs" a grandbaby. I finally yelled at her to never say that again because what she's feeling can't even compare to what I'm feeling. People are so insensitive and cruel.

 

[tamithomas]

Oh my god, I need to see a counselor so bad... I'm just sinking deeper and deeper into depression. And its starting to spread into other areas of my life, where before I was just depressed about TTC. Even here I feel so lonely sometimes, because I know that if I stick around I will eventually see all of you ladies get pregnant and leave, and I'll be the crazy lady who's been here for 15 years. I'm so heartbroken that the only way I'll ever have a child is if I leave my husband. That is one of the most painful parts, knowing that I could have children and heal my pain, but only by causing him more pain. I wish it was me sometimes, not him, because then I would hate myself instead of always wondering how I ended up where I am. My nasty MIL one time told me that she "needs a grandbaby". I just about strangled her. SHE "needs" a grandbaby. I finally yelled at her to never say that again because what she's feeling can't even compare to what I'm feeling. People are so insensitive and cruel.

I'm soo sorry hun, maybe a counceling could help?

 

[Pink Petals]

Oh my god, I need to see a counselor so bad... I'm just sinking deeper and deeper into depression. And its starting to spread into other areas of my life, where before I was just depressed about TTC. Even here I feel so lonely sometimes, because I know that if I stick around I will eventually see all of you ladies get pregnant and leave, and I'll be the crazy lady who's been here for 15 years. I'm so heartbroken that the only way I'll ever have a child is if I leave my husband. That is one of the most painful parts, knowing that I could have children and heal my pain, but only by causing him more pain. I wish it was me sometimes, not him, because then I would hate myself instead of always wondering how I ended up where I am. My nasty MIL one time told me that she "needs a grandbaby". I just about strangled her. SHE "needs" a grandbaby. I finally yelled at her to never say that again because what she's feeling can't even compare to what I'm feeling. People are so insensitive and cruel.

People can be so insensitive!

Have you and DH pursued any fertility treatment options yet?

 

[flagirlie7]

Hello - I'm new here. I've been really discouraged lately and this weekend just topped it off. I just googled "TTC Vent Forum" and this was the first one that came up so here I am. My husband and I have been TTC for almost 3 years (I've been off the pill since then anyways). I'm getting so sick of everyone asking me when I'm going to have kids. My boss used to tell me everyday I needed to hurry up and get pregnant - until I had a little melt down at work and told her how much it bothered me!

Last night, I went to a neighborhood girl's night and once again, I'm the only one in a group of women that doesn't have a kid. And once again, the conversation ALWAYS ends up about kids and there I am just sitting there thinking "well, I have a dog - does that count???"

Last month, my temperature spiked and I had a positive ov test, so I told my dh that we have to do the deed that night. (not very romantic - but hey, neither is taking my temp and peeing on a stick several times a month). His reply to me was "Well, that's not going to work - you make it seem like a chore" WTF?!?! I realize that but why does it always have to be all pleasure for the guys and the women have to do all the work?? Am I the only one that has a husband that just doesn't get it?? All of my friends have kids so no one in my life really "gets it" - thanks for letting me vent!

I know very well indeed! It puts extreme strain on a relationship, forget romantics etc. If we all survive this journey, still with a partner, we are the heroes! Men often don't understand what is all the fuss about and think women can get pregnant anytime during the month (my coworker literally said that to me)... My window is very short and yes, it causes many upsets and cries... And they don't want to put half the effort we do, right?

 

[Bex434]

Well our dreams of conceiving by Christmas are well and truly over
whats more my cousin just told me she is expecting...I am so happy for her but at the same time I just want to cry (no doubt I will when I get home from work)
I am so fed up of everybody else having babies around me when its something we want so badly, I am so ready to be a mum but my body clearly doesn't agree with me!!!

 

[Ayjay]

I'm with you Bex434. *hugs* I'm on my way to losing my best friend over it I think. Dont want to, but she is not doing anything to stop it. Too wrapped up in her 15 year old daughter's unplanned, unexpected and totally unwise pregnancy.

 

[Zeinab]

Hi.. really happy I found this vent thread as I feel completely bummed out about everything regarding pregnancy/life/stress..Life is quite ok with ups and downs, my husband is in the army, comes home every now and then but it can always change so its its hard and i feel rather pointless to chart etc but me being me, I still do it..
I feel like my work is kinda drowing me these days (I am KG Teacher I love those kids I really do) but the curriculum is way to intense so all my energy goes to planning work and when I have to bring some of it home.. it causes quite some issues btw me n my husband obviously.
A lot of my friends are pregnant or just had a baby, really happy for them n they are all so sweet but feel like just exploading whenever i get the question: you got kids yet? ohh do you want kids? well anyways you know, you got time cause your young! enjoy your youth and live your life, kids can come later on. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :'@ i mean some people just don't get it that you don't want to get these questions every couple of weeks.
My mother in law bugged into our private life first 2-3 months after getting married constantly asking if we are going to have kids now, are we going to prevent it and advicing us to wait etc etc :S even asking me if I want her to prescribe me birth control (she is a doc) and I am like pls pls pls.. can everyone just bug out of my life??? :'S
Sorry for the rant but having basically nobody to talk to and my best friend being unavaliable at the moment I just needed to get it out :/
Hope you all are doing bit better tho and that soon you all will have a good n strong posetive BFP

 

[Bex434]

I'm with you Bex434. *hugs* I'm on my way to losing my best friend over it I think. Dont want to, but she is not doing anything to stop it. Too wrapped up in her 15 year old daughter's unplanned, unexpected and totally unwise pregnancy.

thanks Ayjay, that must be so frustrating, 15 is way too young to start a family! How long have you been trying if you don't mind me asking? I made a decision recently to stop charting as it's putting more pressure on us and I don't think that's going to help! Just have days where I feel like its never going to happen for us and that scares me so much! Never wanted anything so much in my whole life and no matter how hard I try not to, I get upset and stressed about it

I am always here and happy to keep in touch, need someone in the same boat to talk to!

 

[Ayjay]

it is frustrating Bex. We've been together 4 years, both over 35 so time is running out (so people keep telling me.... yeah thanks for that). Have also had to deal with a work collegue telling me about her grandson's mother's plans for a second abortion this year, having already put her son in care and had one abortion......

We've started the fertility process though, my progesterone blood test came back OK, now we're waiting for DH's test results. Then we go all out to find out whats up. I think he's worried now. Which is a shame because he is such a lovely, giving, patient, caring guy. He would make a wonderful father.

Yes please keep in touch, I have a journal in the TTC Journals section that you can stalk if you wish, and if you have one, let me know and I'll stalk you too .

 

[cntrygrl]

Oh my god, I need to see a counselor so bad... I'm just sinking deeper and deeper into depression. And its starting to spread into other areas of my life, where before I was just depressed about TTC. Even here I feel so lonely sometimes, because I know that if I stick around I will eventually see all of you ladies get pregnant and leave, and I'll be the crazy lady who's been here for 15 years. I'm so heartbroken that the only way I'll ever have a child is if I leave my husband. That is one of the most painful parts, knowing that I could have children and heal my pain, but only by causing him more pain. I wish it was me sometimes, not him, because then I would hate myself instead of always wondering how I ended up where I am. My nasty MIL one time told me that she "needs a grandbaby". I just about strangled her. SHE "needs" a grandbaby. I finally yelled at her to never say that again because what she's feeling can't even compare to what I'm feeling. People are so insensitive and cruel.

I have a friend on here that finally conceived after 5 yrs TTC. She is due in February. I know it's hard to say holdout hope and I understand the depression. Talking to someone may definitely help you.

 

[cntrygrl]

My vent of the day is I'm tired of seeing women who already have children on TTC#1 threads!

 

[tamithomas]

My vent of the day is I'm tired of seeing women who already have children on TTC#1 threads!

This!

 

[tamithomas]

This is more of a happy rant. Dear DH, yes I've been having hot flashes major for the passed 3 days. What's the first thing you ask me? When my AF is due. Your first thoughts are "maybe just maybe!" Don't set yourself up for disapointment. Cute though to see a man just as eager and interested in a BFP as me!

 

[m4e]

Oh my god, I need to see a counselor so bad... I'm just sinking deeper and deeper into depression. And its starting to spread into other areas of my life, where before I was just depressed about TTC. Even here I feel so lonely sometimes, because I know that if I stick around I will eventually see all of you ladies get pregnant and leave, and I'll be the crazy lady who's been here for 15 years. I'm so heartbroken that the only way I'll ever have a child is if I leave my husband. That is one of the most painful parts, knowing that I could have children and heal my pain, but only by causing him more pain. I wish it was me sometimes, not him, because then I would hate myself instead of always wondering how I ended up where I am. My nasty MIL one time told me that she "needs a grandbaby". I just about strangled her. SHE "needs" a grandbaby. I finally yelled at her to never say that again because what she's feeling can't even compare to what I'm feeling. People are so insensitive and cruel.

People can be so insensitive!

Have you and DH pursued any fertility treatment options yet?

My husband has no sperm, so there aren't really any treatment options for us. The only way to get his Testosterone up so he could produce sperm is clomid and they tried that and it worked for three weeks then completely stopped, so we are really at the end of the road, with very few if any options.

 

[m4e]

My vent of the day is I'm tired of seeing women who already have children on TTC#1 threads!

YES!!! Also I think they need to have a TTC#1 thread ONLY for women who have been TTC for at least a year and/or have been diagnosed with a kind of infertility.

 

[Mimzy3]

m4e

Maybe couple's therapy? Does he express to you how this makes him feel at all? I can't imagine it feels good knowing he can't give you the one thing you want so bad. Sometimes guy's are better at masking their feelings than we are. Hope this doesn't upset you I am only suggesting.

 

[m4e]

m4e

Maybe couple's therapy? Does he express to you how this makes him feel at all? I can't imagine it feels good knowing he can't give you the one thing you want so bad. Sometimes guy's are better at masking their feelings than we are. Hope this doesn't upset you I am only suggesting.

He constantly insists that he "knows" we'll have kids and I'm sick of it! He has no reason to believe that and we've been told we won't. Sometimes optimism is good, but its actually making it harder that he won't just admit we're screwed and let me move on.